Funny, humorous and meaningful jokes

A humorous joke with connotation. After work and study, we might as well get together for dinner and chat with family or friends. Besides talking about parents' shortcomings, you can also tell jokes to enliven the atmosphere. Jokes are a good way to create an atmosphere in crowded places. Let's take a look at some funny and meaningful jokes.

Funny, humorous and meaningful jokes 1 1. My mother was very angry because she didn't do well in the exam. "Tell me about yourself, what can you do besides eating?"

The son replied, "I'm hungry again!" "

2. "Have you ever waited for someone seriously?"

"Yes!"

"Who is it?"

"Bus driver."

When you are angry, you must calm yourself down in time, mainly by persuading each other first.

Calm down if you can't convince the other person, and hit people more accurately.

I want to pass "If it is not ready, please give it back to me?" Threat, in order to achieve the effect of urging food.

As a result, the clerk really gave it back to me.

When visiting the Forbidden City, the commentator said, "The Queen doesn't live with her husband, unlike now, she can see her husband when she wakes up every morning."

The aunt next to her said, "Is there such a good thing?"

6. My blood vessels are thin. I went to the hospital for an intravenous drip, but my sister's intern nurse just couldn't get in. Go to the head nurse and give me an injection.

Aunt head nurse looked at me and then at my arm. She was silent for two seconds and said to the busy little nurse behind her, "Come here, the graduation exam is advanced today. If you can play well, you will get 10 more points. "

7. Go to dinner with the company boss. After dinner, he shouted, "Boss, check out."

So the boss of the company got up and went to check out.

I can't sleep at home now. I wonder if I can go to work tomorrow?

8. My colleague broke up with her husband and called me in the middle of the night to cry. I comforted her for almost two hours. I couldn't sleep well after that, and I kept wondering why she called me.

I didn't hang up for half an hour, and I called again to say that they had made up.

I got my wish this time, and I completely lost sleep!

9. A couple is traveling together. When their train passed through a long tunnel, the man said, "If I had known the tunnel was so long, I would have given you a kiss."

The woman exclaimed, "God, wasn't it you who kissed me just now?"

10. I have been very dark since I was a child. Once my house caught fire. When my uncle, a fireman, came to put out the fire, I ran out desperately.

Suddenly I heard someone say, "The child is on fire and running so fast."

1 1. I have been picking up the car for more than a year. Go to the traffic police team to check the violation record today.

I saw that the service staff gave me a faint look and said, "Big Brother, you can go to Tsinghua this time!"

I was a mess.

12. Why do successful people like to give you chicken soup?

Because they have finished eating the chicken.

13. Yesterday, I went to practice driving. The coach told me that there was a puddle in front of me. I don't know what happened to my brain. I actually held the steering wheel with my hands and raised my feet.

14. A classmate is on a blind date at home. I asked him how he was, and he said it was half done.

He went, but he didn't

15. Actually, learning to swim is very simple. First of all, don't be afraid of drowning. When you are sinking, relax and breathe, and you will naturally float up in a few days.

16. confide to colleagues: "The photos taken before were beautiful, but now they are getting ugly."

Colleagues simply said: "Now the pixels are getting higher and higher."

17. Make sure it's me if you borrow money. You can make voice or video calls. I usually confirm that it is me and then refuse.

18. Today, the head teacher found a mobile phone in the class, and no one dared to admit it. Then she fell to the ground in front of the whole class.

Later, I found out that this mobile phone belonged to the math teacher, and I forgot to take it away after class.

19. It's my turn to clean up with my roommate. I am really lazy. Just before I went home, I pretended to be a beautiful woman playing the trumpet and talked to "people nearby"

Tell him I'm going to his house, and then he takes the initiative to clean the room.

20. I miss when I was a child, as long as I reached out, I could receive money.

I can't do it now. I want to kneel on the road and reach out!

Humorous and meaningful joke 2 1, tall man, you lift your face so that I can't see your eyes and feel a pair of small eyes staring at me. It turned out to be a nostril eye.

2. Do you know the characteristics of crime-solving movies? Twists and turns and thrills. A: Only half right. It should be tortuous love and thrilling martial arts.

If I have a girlfriend, I won't put on a blue face because she skipped class. I will sincerely say to her: Good boy, call me next time you skip class, ok?

I heard that you were * *, which really scared me! Although you have dementia since childhood, it is harmless to society! Who is so bold, dare to sell you! I'm worried about him. It's strange to sell!

5. A boy is chasing after, and girls are not interested in boys. Because boys are persistent, girls loudly say to boys: What do you like about me? Can't I change it?

6.65,438+08-year-old girls should tell stories to let her sleep with you, 28-year-old girls should tell stories to let her sleep with you automatically, and 38-year-old girls should tell stories to let you sleep with her.

7. Give you a pure natural tonic, which is mild in nature, does not contain any pigments and additives, is arc-shaped, and has the effects of benefiting qi, caring skin, enhancing charm and pleasing body and mind. Its scientific name is smile. Remember to smile often!

8. Really awesome companies only need one product to change the world, like Apple and Adobe. The former saved countless patients waiting for organ transplantation, while the latter saved countless women.

9. The call of heart and heart cannot be separated from deep love; Heart-to-heart communication is inseparable from permanent thoughts. Every day of my life, I hope to have your company until the seas run dry and the rocks crumble, which will not change.

10, late at night, my roommate said that he was so bored that he wanted to see a small Japanese movie. He despised his obscene behavior in his heart and bent over to have a look. I cann't believe he drove Altman.

1 1. The dog said to the bear, marry me and you will be happy. The bear said, I won't marry. If I marry you, I will only have a bear. If I marry a cat, I will have a panda. That would be noble!

12, if autumn passes, I love you in the snow! If the world disappears, I love you in heaven! If you leave, I love you with tears! If I leave, I love you in the distance!

13, He Xinchun's "Four Happy Events after the Birth of Ancun": There are bright and shining snowflakes floating in a window; Big eggs and potatoes are collected in a warehouse; Sour mature vinegar is brewed into a jar; Handsome men and beautiful women couples squeeze into a kang.

14, Pig Bajie was severely beaten by Spider Essence, looking at Spider Essence's far-away back, complaining: For love, even if you disfigure my face, it is worth it.

15, even if a thousand people pass by me, I can still recognize you easily, because 999 of them stepped on my body and you stepped on my heart!

16, you're a book, I'm a bag, you're a mouse, I'm a cat, you're a wood, I'm glue, you're pork, I'm a knife, we have such a good relationship, and you pay for dinner tonight!

17, I won't marry you because a man walks by a restaurant and says a dish is delicious, which doesn't mean he wants to stay as a chef.

18, a weasel put up a sign at the top of the cliff in Chicken Country: How do you know you are not an eagle if you don't jump? And then wait for dead chickens at the bottom of the cliff every day.

19, why does the news broadcast always show the clips of their manuscripts after the performance? A: I'm telling you, we brag in the draft.

20. Dad: How much is 1 plus 2? Son: I don't know. Dad: For example, your mother and I, plus you, a * * *, how much is it? Idiot! The son immediately replied: 3 idiots!

2 1, the map of love, there is no direction, only your smile! The real scene of love, there is no road sign, only your beauty! Love you and me, there is no loneliness, only the smell of our embrace!

22. The daughter asked: Why do people get married when they grow up? Mom: Because I want to be with the person I like. Well, I want to marry my mother when I grow up. I like my mother best!

1. At the weekend, my girlfriend and I went out to play by bus. Unfortunately, we met a robber in the car, and the robber has been wandering around the car. Finally, they came up to me and my girlfriend and said, "Give me your most valuable thing!" " Faced with the threat of robbers, my girlfriend pushed me out without saying anything. I don't know whether it is moved or angry.

Second, about the obsession with gourmet food. Second sister is a nurse and a die-hard foodie. Because she is allergic to seafood. So there are some medicines for allergies at home. Just eat seafood and give yourself an infusion as soon as you get home. ...

3. I went to a restaurant for dinner yesterday, and a girl came in. She went to the front desk and asked the boss, "Can I deliver the food?" The boss replied, "haven't you already come to the store?" Just eat here! "At this moment, my sister handed me a piece of paper and said," This is my friend's home address. I really can't find his home. Send me there by the way if you deliver the food! "

Teacher: "Hello, Xiaoming's father. Yesterday, I asked Xiao Ming, how much is a catty of cabbage 1.3 yuan, 30 catty? He answered 30 yuan. It's nothing that he answered wrong, but he lied. He said you taught him. " Xiao Ming's father: "Yes, I taught him. Indeed, a pound of cabbage 1.3, 30 pounds of 30 yuan! " Teacher: "What do you do?" Xiao Ming's father: "Teacher, I wholesale cabbage."

In high school, a classmate was caught by the class teacher playing mobile phone in class. In front of the whole class, the class teacher dropped his mobile phone on the ground and pointed at it, saying that whoever doesn't listen well in the future will end up like this. Looking at the broken mobile phones on the ground, the whole class was silent.

6. Go shopping with my wife. Wife: How much is this dress, boss? Shopkeeper: 360 A wife: Too expensive! Shopkeeper: Minimum 300, no bargaining! Wife: How about 35? I'll take it if I can sell it! Shopkeeper: OK, pay! Wife: Erwa, it's expensive! Me: There are thousands of grass horses running in my heart! What are you going to do now!

Seven, live in the same street as the leader. After work, the leader said I would pick him up. There is nothing to say on the road. When I arrived at a bridge, I found a topic and said, "A fool hit the pier with his car the day before yesterday, and the car was almost scrapped!" " At this time, the leader looked at me with a complicated expression and said, "So I'm going to rub your car today!" "

Eight, I often order takeout in college, and most of them are sent by the same little brother. Approaching graduation, he said he had something to say to me. I'm inexplicably nervous. Will he confess to me? Unexpectedly, he said something that I will never forget. He said, "Eat less in the future. After all, I have watched you gain weight in the past two years! "

9. At the appointed place, I sat in the seat by the window, with an easily recognizable book in my hand. After a while, the waiter came over with the menu and said, "hello, madam, what would you like to drink?" Our boss said that everything you drink today is free. " Me: "Free? Do I know your boss? " Attendant: "Our boss is dating you today. Our boss saw you when you came in just now. He said that we don't need to meet, and all the drinks you drink today are free. "

10. My cousin's academic performance is not good. One day, the teacher asked him who burned the Yuanmingyuan. He said: I didn't burn it. The teacher called his father and said, Your son has been getting more and more ridiculous recently. I asked who burned Yuanmingyuan, but he actually said he didn't burn it. I was beaten by my father when I got home. The next day, his father called the teacher and said: Last night, he admitted to burning the Yuanmingyuan.

Eleven, four people in the office. Two men and two women. Only I don't smoke. I am a woman. The boss quipped, look, all three of us here smoke. Why don't you smoke? Some friends come to see us. Tell me: Do you know the harm of secondhand smoke? This is more harmful than smoking. Me: So you're suggesting that I only smoke one cigarette? I feel that I will be led astray sooner or later.