How to buy the heart of future mother-in-law

First, love sends her to be a loving mother. Love is as vast as the sea, so she will drown in it if she slips. She calls her son every day to remind him to go home for dinner; Her son's little finger was slightly scratched, so she went back to heaven to grab the land. Your presence immediately threatened her master position. At the slightest sign of trouble, she will suspect that you deliberately usurped the throne and put her in the cold, so she will be wary of you everywhere. In the face of a loving future mother-in-law, this will definitely work. Because they often think that they can feel at ease when they are "needed". Therefore, you must restrain your carelessness, suppress your true spirit, pretend to be helpless, play a poor role, let her take care of you, guide you, let her continue to play the glory of maternal love, and make her feel important, then your next days will be calm. Mei, 23: "I was very hostile to me at first because I loved my son Su Yi very much, but since I told her some troubles, such as my inexplicable stomachache, even the doctor could do nothing and my blood pressure was low, she was busy introducing the soil and occasionally stewed it for me." Mei's "helplessness" makes her future mother-in-law feel that the sword in the world is still her, and her self-esteem has been massaged so hard. On the other hand, since the daughter-in-law is so poor, how can she snatch the baby from her hand? Finally, of course I will treat you as one of my own, and love me, love my dog. However, don't forget that you should always thank your future mother-in-law for her love and charity, and it is best to buy some small gifts or snacks occasionally to please her. Second, Empress Dowager Cixi sent her to be a critical and indifferent Empress Dowager Cixi. Even if you are proficient in all 18 martial arts, you can't reach her level in front of her. Prepare to jump into the well. In any case, the ugly daughter-in-law will meet her mother-in-law after all. It is best to dress conservatively when meeting for the first time, because pick bones from eggs, wear plain colors, choose simple accessories, and try to reduce the number of "bones" to be picked. However, there is no need to be too accommodating, so as not to be self-defeating, she will think you are shabby, or you can please a woman with a nose. There is no need to dress up as a crystal lamp, and there is no need to go against your own principles and nature. Anyway, in her eyes, no one is up to standard. No matter how hard you try, she will always have something to say, so don't waste your effort to meet all her standards. The best way is to concentrate, show your expertise, impress her and let her know that you are not a flatterer. Xiaoying, a 26-year-old accountant, emphasizes mutual interests. "We all like art. Whenever I know that I will meet her at the art exhibition, I will definitely do my homework and behave well before. Once I talk about the taste of a house or clothes, I will try to change the subject because our views in this regard are very different. " Focusing on what we agree with each other and avoiding topics with different views can reduce the crisis of "violating" her values. In this way, she will feel more at ease. She has worked hard to instill the idea of her son and will not be washed away by her daughter-in-law overnight. Third, the housewife sent her as the most typical housewife. She has been around children all her life and finally let her daughter grow up. However, she is also out of touch with society at this time and can't get out of the kitchen and garden. It seems easy to deal with such kind housewives. Always smile at her and say thank you, and don't reveal that you have slept with her son, so that you can make a safe transition. It's not that simple. For a woman who has spent most of her life in the kitchen and devoted herself to her children, her emptiness is indescribable when her son is about to leave her. She is very sensitive and fragile. If she is not careful, she will be unhappy. She is worried that her "ignorance" will alienate her and even deceive her. So you must always eliminate her anxiety, often tell her, or let her see what you have done, what are your plans, and let her feel her presence. Jane's 27-year-old boyfriend is careless, so since he took her home to meet her parents, she has often contacted them voluntarily. "I call his mother from time to time and buy some gardening books for her occasionally. Now she likes talking to me more than her son. " Fourth, a coquettish and open school. She is a coquettish mother. When they met, she smiled and said that she was unconventional and brave. Even you are not as open as yourself. She is more like your roommate than your future mother-in-law. Sometimes it is quite difficult to deal with such an opponent who doesn't play by the rules. "His mother used to be a hippie, and now she lives with the painter's boyfriend." Jenna, 29, said, "At first, I was really at a loss. All actions to please the future mother-in-law, such as giving tasteful gifts, are mature and dignified, and none of them work. " When you receive the message that ordinary moves don't work, you'd better change with constancy, lest your future mother-in-law think you despise her lifestyle. The advantage of meeting such an open future mother-in-law is that you don't have to be too restrained and worry too much about whether your every move meets her standards. However, don't underestimate your enemy, because although she plays lively and lovely, she is not your girlfriend after all. An unconventional mother has a strong protective heart for her children. Therefore, you still have to be considerate of her son; In other words, even if you are sisters, you'd better not criticize her son in front of her and show her the scars of the past. Also, don't discuss his future seriously, because this kind of mother wants her son to be free. Once she thinks you want to mess with her son, she will resent you. 5. Guanyin Bodhisattva She is Guanyin with a thousand hands, taking care of her career and family. She may be Teamin Between of the feminist movement. While doing justice for women in trouble, she wrote books and took time to learn how to make Japanese sushi. She is a model woman of modern city. Therefore, she will have high requirements for her future daughter-in-law. Even if you are not an enterprising person, you'd better make a draft first and think about how to talk about your ideals. Especially since you have made up your mind to live on meal tickets for a long time. If she knew you had such a plan, she would definitely look down on you. Since she is a woman who tries to climb up, treat her like meeting your boss. Be polite and modest. "Because his mother is a strong woman, I looked at her with my eyes when I saw her. The answer is direct and affirmative. I tried to express my interest in her work and discuss my career with her. " Ask her some questions that please her, such as how to allocate time, and she will definitely think that you appreciate her ability. If she is the kind of person who likes to guide her subordinates, try to do what she likes and let her give full play to her best self in you. Ah, don't forget to compliment her on her housekeeping skills. How to buy the heart of future mother-in-law 2 1? Don't overemphasize the intimate relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Daughter-in-law is daughter-in-law and mother-in-law is mother-in-law. Imagine someone you haven't seen for more than 20 years. Will you regard her as your own mother? Say it, you don't believe it. The mother-in-law is your husband's mother and your child's grandmother, not your mother. Many movies or TV series will have such a scene: the man marries a single mother and becomes a stepfather after marriage. He always wants to educate his children as his own, reason with him and check his homework. As a result, he is not human inside and outside. The child hates him very much and often complains to his mother that "he doesn't love me at all, which is very bad for me." Mom will also feel distressed and wonder if you are so strict with this child because it is not yours. Do you dislike this child and don't want it? It's a good wish to treat each other as your own biological parents and children, but don't forget a fundamental and unchangeable fact-you are really not related by blood. With blood relationship, you can naturally accept a lot of things from that person and naturally believe that he loves this child, but sometimes you just can't guide him in the direction of love. So we'd better not expect this relationship to replace blood relationship, because blood relationship is irreplaceable. What we can do is to respect her, respect her and try our best to handle this relationship. And when you free yourself from this expectation, you will accept each other more easily. We can imagine that if the next-door neighbor did something bad, would you quarrel with him? In most cases, if it's not very important, or if it doesn't annoy you very much, you can be very tolerant of these things. But if it was your relative, a close relative, who did such a thing, would you forgive? No. Because the closer we are to ourselves, the more important we are. So we might as well lower ourselves. This person is the other's parents, and I am a foreigner. Just like a guest, I want to give him/her enough respect and filial piety and just do my job well. Second, think more about what my mother-in-law has done for me. In life, if young girls live with their mother-in-law, there will always be contradictions and frictions. Two people living in different times have different living habits and thinking habits, which leads to their different ways of dealing with things. No one can avoid these troubles. The key is to see how we think and how to deal with this problem. A fan complained to me that her mother-in-law is very unkind, and there are often some disputes about details in the process of getting along with her mother-in-law. For example, girls will pay great attention to the scope and area of activities, but her mother-in-law always uses the same rag to wipe from the toilet to the kitchen; Mother-in-law is a hard worker. Whenever she has a rest on Sunday, her mother-in-law will criticize her and keep her awake. Taking this description as an example, we need to hear positive information from this passage: First, what we hear is that this mother-in-law is very diligent. She often works at home and keeps her home clean, which can provide a good living environment for young people. Second, this mother-in-law is very frugal, although her housekeeping methods may not be recognized by her daughter-in-law. Third, the daughter-in-law said that her mother-in-law wouldn't let her sleep late. This behavior appeared because of psychological counseling. My mother-in-law is looking for balance. You don't like some parts of me, and I want you to know that you are not as good as me. Fourth, I heard that this daughter-in-law is actually quite superior. She looks down on her mother-in-law. I want to give you a suggestion. Don't treat everyone around you as a fool, thinking that others don't know your inner superiority. When you subconsciously put yourself in a high position and others in a low position, your eyes, your expression and your body language will tell the other person that you despise him, and the other person will feel it. This case can judge which issues you are concerned about. If you keep focusing on the fact that my mother-in-law opposes me, you will certainly find more and more reasons and evidence to prove that this mother-in-law is really a terrible mother-in-law. Conversely, if you can focus on what my mother-in-law did to our family and what her mother-in-law did to me, you will also find a lot of evidence. Since the evidence found in turn will make you more and more comfortable and happy, why not? Third, expand the content of mother-in-law's life and distract her attention. Let's start with a case: I have a friend who is very smart and started to buy her mother-in-law's heart soon after she got married. First I started shopping, and then I took my mother-in-law to dinner. After her feelings improved a little, her mother-in-law began to listen to her. Then, she began to take her mother-in-law to do other activities, such as taking yoga classes, walking and so on. In this way, she gradually made her mother-in-law more and more friends. Finally, my mother-in-law began to go to the university for the aged and chatted with her peers on WeChat with her mobile phone all day. Mother-in-law's attention was diverted and she was too lazy to participate in their husband and wife's affairs. Mother-in-law's life is too narrow, and nothing else can distract her, so all her thoughts will be on her son. When she loves and cares too much about her son, she will be hostile to her daughter-in-law and the war at home will begin. But if the girl can help her mother-in-law broaden her life, make her worry more, distract her attention and divert her attention from her son, then the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will be alleviated a lot. Finally, it should be pointed out that in our nation, the fate of mother and son is always closely linked. More than half of the stories in "Twenty-four Filial Pieties" are about filial piety to mothers, and only a few are about filial piety to fathers, which shows how deeply rooted the filial piety to mothers is. In this cultural background, it is difficult to simply and rudely ask her husband not to take the side of her mother-in-law. Your other half's parents may have only known each other for a long time and don't have much feelings, but for your other half, they are full of warm memories from childhood to adulthood.