Women's humorous jokes

Speaking of women, that kind of humorous joke that keeps talking is very funny. Come and have a look with me.

When it comes to women, there are too many words to stop.

1. The fundamental reason why women live longer than men is that they don't have to live with women.

2. What is a goddess? Whether you worship or slander, she ignores you and does whatever she wants.

There are two kinds of girls. One is to use men as umbrellas. When it rains on cloudy days and the sun is poisoned, I need you and rely on you.

Another is to use men as parachutes. Important events only need you once, but if you can't do it this time, there is no need to exist in the future. Therefore, men should learn to be nice to their girlfriends who don't make demands easily.

4. I hope my three girlfriends: the first one is beautiful, and the appearance of my girlfriends depends on her. It is best to have a man's hospitality every day, so that we can get some light;

The second is a female man, who can catch mice and beat hooligans. She is the only one who walks the rivers and lakes.

The third is a good wife and mother who goes to the kitchen under the hall and goes to her house for dinner every day.

Let's get them together.

A twenty-year-old woman is like a cherry. Does it look good?

A 30-year-old woman is like grapes, beautiful and delicious!

A 40-year-old woman is like a pineapple, not beautiful but delicious!

A fifty-year-old woman is like a tomato. The fruit they think is actually in the vegetable series!

Woman, you maintain grapes, but not raisins! Maintenance is the same, but it looks old without maintenance!

6, kiss her, not a gentleman, not a kiss, not like a man;

Praise her, call you a liar, don't praise her, call you an idiot;

Always look at her, bother her, look at her less, and blame you for hooking up;

Jealous, you are too narrow-minded, generous and say no love;

Make love, lack of respect, show yourself, lack of love;

When looking at others, it is amorous feelings of flirting; When others look at her, you envy beautiful women;

You want to talk, she wants you to listen, all ears, she forces you to talk!

7. It's not easy for girls.

Just untidy? Men and women? ,

Dress up, right? Niece Hai? ,

Just smiling? Green coffee table? ,

Drop a tear? Princess disease? ,

Defending morality is? Bai Lianhua? ,

Think ahead, right? Tricky bitch? ,

Just stay at home? Dead house girl? ,

Just going for a walk? Nightclub coffee? ,

Single for a long time? Old maid? ,

Just a new boyfriend? Black fungus? There is no way out!

Humorous woman in the house

1. Self-cultivation of girls taking photos: take only one selfie out of 3,000.

2. Men don't know how to pretend, while women know how to pretend.

3. The goddess said to the local tyrant: Marry me, so that our descendants are all children of God.

4, it is said that women are lascivious! Women have five colors: yellow Chow Tai Fook, white Apple 6, silver Cartier, red Land Rover, black mink and colored RMB!

When a man goes to his mother-in-law's house, his parents-in-law are polite. I just hope the son-in-law can be nicer to his daughter. When a woman goes to her husband's house, she should follow a busy schedule. If she sits and waits for entertainment like a guest, her mother-in-law will say to her son, you lazy daughter-in-law!

6. A good woman is like a rational number. You know there are many, you can name many casually, but did you know that the probability of poking a rational number on the axis is almost zero?

7. Every girl has two little people in her heart. One said she was beautiful, and the other said she was beautiful. These two little people always drag her to look in front of the mirror. It seems annoying.

8. The standard of contemporary outstanding women: one car, one husband and two pairs on the third floor. The housework is done properly, the second child accompanies shopping, and the small mat! There will be countless lovers who can live wherever they want at night.

9. The body fragrance of girls is pickled with perfume, while that of boys is rubbed with soap.

10, the girl said? Uncle? , refers to the handsome, gentle, steady, refreshing, figure is still great, handsome, successful, wise, handsome, good at listening, still believe in love, a little time precipitation, but still handsome man. And then what? Male humans aged 35-50? Not a creature.

? terrible

When I came home at noon today, I saw a child eating delicious food with a rice bowl. I'll walk there? Son, is your bowl leaking? Who knows Xiong Haizi directly turned the bowl upside down and looked at it? There is no ammonia leakage, and I will never forget the way his father looked at me.

? Chatting with Sam

I met an Indian by train, and he was also idle. He talked to me in Chinese about which country has culture.

I said, can you use chopsticks in China?

He said that grasping by hand is the most correct way to eat. You can grasp anything by hand, regardless of food.

I love to specialize in all kinds of dissatisfaction. When I arrived at the station, I took him to eat a hot pot.

? The wrong person.

I went shopping in the supermarket with my wife today, and I plan to buy a box of Mr. Du's. It took me a long time to find it. I took a box and threw it into the shopping cart pushed by my wife, shouting: this is it!

As a result, I looked up and a strange girl looked at me in horror! Shit! !

Psychological characteristics of men and women in love

Tonight, the wind is clear and the moon is bright, and the beauty * * * is bathed in moonlight, lingering and whispering, coming slowly.

Life development, from the initial fertilized egg to the fetus, from the baby to the baby, seems to grow up overnight in the school ivory tower. Everything is because of him (her).

Men and women in love have their own psychological characteristics at this critical stage of life development:

? Expected effect? Men and women in love often beautify and attract each other, and both sides feel indescribably pleasing to the eye and comfortable.

So-called? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder? . Is it easy to appear at this time? Expected effect? , or self-realization effect, that is, giving each other the characteristics they want to appear, the so-called? The moon is moving. Do you suspect it is a jade man? . Even the flowers and plants in nature are more brilliant because of our love. However, at this time, it is also possible that when studying and working, it is inevitable that you will be distracted and prone to mistakes. Therefore, we should pay attention to controlling emotions, opening our eyes, helping each other and improving together with the powerful power of love.

? Love in my heart is hard to export? Love at this time is often subtle and hidden: words are subtle and poetic, behaviors are hidden and virtuous, and words, manners, moonlight, expressions and behaviors all reflect one? Love? Words, as a woman, often hope that the other party can take the initiative to say to themselves? I love you? Three words, but men are generally more willing to express their love with practical actions.