Tell me what are you insisting on?

Actually, I don’t know what I am insisting on. I have a small apartment in Shenzhen. I will move into a new house next week. It is fully furnished and has everything. But I still spent several months decorating and furnishing it. The process was joyful, but when I walked into this house later, I felt lost. Maybe I was single and suddenly felt a little lonely. I kept telling myself not to live in the eyes of others and tried to live my life, but I couldn't do it. Maybe it was because I was too poor before and worked hard to make money. Now I have a little money, but I still feel insecure. If I am still insisting on something, for me now, to be precise, I am unwilling to give up. I am afraid of poverty and the consequences of poverty. I don’t want my parents to have to work for a living at such an old age, which brings about all the pain you can imagine. This may be my only remaining reason. I don’t care so much whether the company is running well, and I don’t care whether we get married or not. , I feel that I am not so enthusiastic about life and live a very hard life.