"Mother-in-law, why do you always eat side dishes at home?" What do you think of "because you gave all your money to your parents"?

Ms. Zhong, 50, described herself like this.

I am fifty years old. I have a son. He got married the year before last. After marriage, he lived with us. My daughter-in-law's house is out of town. It's not easy to get married here, so I've always been very kind to my daughter-in-law. I never let her do housework at home. It can be said that I will give her whatever she wants.

The daughter-in-law is actually a good person, but it makes me uncomfortable. The daughter-in-law is very attached to her family. She gives as much to her family as possible. She also has a younger brother in her family, who should be pampered at home. Therefore, her daughter-in-law's younger brother, who is 22 years old, has not worked yet and has been living at home.

The daughter-in-law loves her brother very much. I occasionally hear my daughter-in-law talking to her brother on the phone. Most of them are her brothers who ask her for money. Although she was angry and said no, she would still give the money by action. In fact, I sometimes want to tell her that it is not good to spoil my brother like this, but I am afraid that she will be unhappy when I say this, so I simply don't say it.

About a year later, one day I was washing dishes and my daughter-in-law came in to help me. I'm a little surprised. I asked her what happened. She told me that she wanted to borrow some money from me. I am anxious to ask if there is anything urgent. My daughter-in-law told me that her brother wants to buy a car, and he still needs 70 thousand. I felt terrible at once, but I gave the money to avoid causing trouble.

The money was given for half a year, and the daughter-in-law did not say that she would return it. Although I felt uncomfortable, I thought about it. We are only children, and the money will be theirs sooner or later. But it wasn't long before my daughter-in-law borrowed money from me. This time, she said that her mother was ill and wanted to borrow 20 thousand yuan from us. I was worried about my in-laws' health, so I gave money without hesitation. But what I didn't expect was that after that, my wife often asked me to "borrow" money, and slowly my wife and I didn't have much savings.

For this matter, I talked to my son alone, and my son went to talk to his wife. I didn't expect my son and daughter-in-law to quarrel. When I looked at the young couple, I really didn't like it. I never mentioned money again, but my intersection with my daughter-in-law became less. Sometimes I really don't know what this old man does, but they don't understand.

I still cook for them and clean the housework, but I'm also discussing privately with my wife that we should go back to our hometown, so maybe the two of us will be more comfortable. During a meal, my daughter-in-law looked at the dishes on the table and asked me, "Mother-in-law, why do you always eat side dishes at home recently?" I was a little annoyed at that time, so I replied, "Because you gave all your money to your mother's house." After that, everyone at the dinner table quieted down.

After that, my wife and I moved to the countryside. We didn't ask about our son for a long time, but after living in the countryside for three months, our daughter-in-law came to the countryside to find us. When she saw me, she said that her son was going to divorce her. I still feel distressed to see her. I comforted her for a long time. Finally, she told me that she was wrong and would not give money to her parents casually in the future. She wants me and my wife to go back to live with them and visit her daughter-in-law. I hesitated!

Answer: First of all, I want to say that you are a good mother-in-law. Now, almost all the old people are worried about their children, and you have done a good job. This practice of giving a daughter-in-law is very problematic in your family, but the family still has to live in harmony. You can talk to your daughter-in-law more and talk about your thoughts, so that your feelings will be better. As long as your daughter-in-law can really understand you, your family will be sure.