Effective communication between parents of DISC piano children

Dear friends, good evening, everyone. I am from Beijing. I am a graduating student of the F56 DISC dual certificate class. I am a F69 booster Lu Lina. I am a duoduo slash piano teacher.

If my brain is a dual-core processor, my CPU in the morning is a salon workshop that turns books into lessons, helping lecturers and new lecturers to polish their own unique courses and master the transformation. Skills written into lessons.

In the afternoon, I turned to another CPU and my piano children to enjoy the kingdom of music.

First of all, I would like to thank my two new school committee members for their wonderful opening on such a weekend night. At the same time, we would also like to thank our 69F teacher Du Juan and all our friends for listening to this different sharing online. My two school committee members just now are serving as school committee members for the first time. In other words, through this time they have made up their minds to join our DISC family. They have been deeply attracted by the learning atmosphere of our big family.

Thank you to all those who attended the lecture. I am very happy to meet you all at the third phase of DISC’s online business school this weekend.

Tonight I will talk about effective communication with parents of DISC piano children through three major principles,

and five tips.

Music is A kind of magic that makes children become better versions of themselves.

I have been a piano teacher for nearly sixteen years, and I fully understand the expectations and desires of parents of piano-playing children for their children to learn piano. During the learning process, the most common question asked by parents is that he only likes to attend classes and does not like to practice piano. What should I do? What should I do if I am slow in reading music? What should I do if I don’t dare to go on stage? Wait...or you may want to give up even if you are still learning. Or challenges often arise during the process of learning piano with your children.

But often people’s original intention of learning piano is to improve their children’s cultivation, cultivate their temperament, and master a skill.

But how come it becomes like this during the learning process.

The concept I have always advocated is that children not only learn an instrument when learning piano. At the same time, by learning this instrument, I can develop a perseverance mentality and cultivate a piano boy with inner strength. So I read a lot of parent-child books. My friends here must have had the same experience as me, and have taken numerous courses, including coaching courses, positive discipline, non-violent communication, counselors to encourage children's social growth and development, sandbox games, etc... But what? , but I have never been able to find a course on effective communication for piano children. So this year, I developed my own required course for piano children by learning the technology of turning books into lessons.

This compulsory course for piano children is to be a coaching type of parents of piano children. I combined what I learned and saw with my own thinking into a line, which helped me break the original cognitive boundaries and build a larger cognitive model and a broader thinking channel. Our current course for coaching parents of piano children has started salon and experience classes in Beijing. The effect is very good, so next, I will also launch an online course to practice piano mini habits. Let all children who learn piano and their parents develop a small goal and a small habit, a good habit of falling in love with the keyboard and falling in love with the piano.

Then in the next fifty minutes. I will share with you some things about learning piano through three major principles. I believe it will be inspiring to everyone.

Next, I would like to ask everyone to think about a question first.

What was the purpose of letting our children learn piano at that time? You can think about it through a few points. Whether you are a parent of a piano child, or a person who is about to become a parent, or you have also played piano since elementary school, or you also have the desire to learn piano, then what do you think about learning piano? What is the purpose?

Okay, thank you very much for your interactive participation. These goals you have are actually the goals of all parents and everyone involved in piano learning and piano cognition. For everyone, in fact, as long as they first learn music and come into contact with musical instruments. Then the trajectory of his life will change.

At the same time, you will also face various challenges. Work with your children to develop the habit of persisting in practice, so that your children not only learn music, but learn the attitude towards one thing by learning the musical instrument. . It is possible to believe in yourself, and at the same time, you are learning how to interact with others and establish a correct outlook on life.

I saw teacher Lu Juan saying that the piano can make people quiet and beautiful, which can be said to be high-end. Some friends also said that you can be very noisy when you are normal, and then you can be a quiet woman when you calm down.

Some friends are very cute, right? Then they can flirt with girls, and then they feel that they have a skill, and from then on, they will not be alone in their life.

But learning the piano well is not an easy task. It requires a lot of patience and perseverance. I studied piano from the age of five to graduating from the Central Conservatory of Music. I have been teaching for sixteen years now. The biggest feeling is that it is not easy to persevere. At the same time, I am especially grateful to my parents for allowing me to see many possibilities in the process of learning piano. so. When today's children are easily distracted, have weak self-control and lack endurance, I hope today's parents will turn this matter into a matter of mutual growth between parents and children.

So how to help children become better versions of themselves by learning piano? I conducted a survey among my parents and everyone had different opinions.

Some say that the original intention of children learning is to improve their musical literacy.

Some people say that I don’t want him to take the exam and just treat it as a hobby. When you grow up, you can pick up a sheet of music and play it.

Some people say that I will let my children take the professional path. I want to be like Lang Lang and Li Yundi.

Some even said that it was a fulfillment of a childhood dream of mine. I had no conditions to learn piano when I was a child. Now that the conditions are good, I let her study. I especially like the beautiful sound of the piano.

Finally, some people said that while other children are learning, my own children cannot fall behind and lose at the starting line.

Finally, some people say that learning the piano is a persistent habit, which purifies the soul and gives children another way to choose in the future. Well, I just saw your thoughts and purposes, friends. Please write it all down. When you understand your purpose, you can better accompany your children to the kingdom of music. Set different small goals that are unique to you and your child.

No matter what, I suggest that parents communicate with their children before deciding to let their children learn piano. Please respect the premise of learning piano, we have to guide the children. She insists on choosing this instrument and learning it with a responsible attitude. Only in this way can good results be achieved.

First of all, let’s take a look at the first principle, how parents and children grow up.

Next, I invite you to think about the relationship between the three roles of a child, a parent, and a teacher?

Thank you very much for your active participation. I have seen that some of them write about a triangular relationship with their children. Then some people say that children play a decisive role. If children are unwilling to learn, parents have nothing to do. Teachers should help children grow. Wait...

So what's the problem with our interactions through these? After many years of teaching, I have summarized a small experience, which I would like to share with everyone.

Then I think that children, parents, and teachers should be a team that supports and cooperates with each other. Just now I saw that some friends have already written such an answer, actually. Why is it a team in this process?

Because the relationship between these three is indispensable. Since it is a team,

then the team must have a common goal,

As a piano teacher here, I have to show my D characteristics. Lead children and parents to clarify goals together and develop a unified result.

When we learn DISC, what we need to learn is to improve interpersonal sensitivity. At the same time, you should also put your four different behavioral styles into suitable environments and occasions. Different ways of tuning oneself,

So as teachers, we need to develop a D-shaped characteristic in the team, what do we need to do,

We need It is to set goals, reach a goal together with children and parents, communicate frequently, and demonstrate frequently.

As a student, you need to practice more and be willing to persevere.

As a parent, you need to practice more. What needs to be done is to provide more support and encouragement.

While each is playing his or her own role, we must reach a unified direction with our children, parents, and teachers. That is to say, when we start learning piano again, or in the middle of learning piano, at every step Different goals must be set at each stage, what matters should be completed at what time points, and how to follow up and support parents at home.

Combined with DISC, it is more conducive to effective communication with parents. I have a student parent who has obvious D traits. She is a company boss and a strong woman. She often wears a business suit. She is usually busy at work and communicates in class through WeChat. Recently, I sent my child here. I was a little flattered. After the class , while this mother was about to leave in a panic, she asked, based on my child’s current learning progress, when can she take the grade test? I want her to finish the eighth grade exam before elementary school.

Well, we all know that people with a D-shaped style are quick to do things, boss-like, and dominant.

He just pays attention to things. She did not consider whether the child could achieve the level 8 test she wanted to take before primary school.

Then by studying disc, I learned that when communicating with a parent like D who has a more prominent behavioral style, I must first tell the story and the best way to let her know about it first. His son is very important to him. Then briefly explain the key points first. You might as well add another sentence at this time,

Do you have any questions or need to know any details? I can add to it at any time.

This kind of reporting method is convenient for D to make decisions, and for the reporter, it is helpful to ascertain the focus of the other party's concerns.

So I communicated with her, "Mom, I understand your requirements for your children very much. At the same time, I think the grade examination is also a good way for girls to learn piano and cultivate perseverance." I will now take about ten minutes to briefly communicate with you about your learning progress.

This will be very important for how to take the exam and when and what level you will get.

First of all, I totally agree with your point of view. We do not aim at grading, but we need to set a goal for grading and give our children some exercise when they are ready. Let the children be sure of their own efforts and be very confident when they step on the stage. It is the same as having a final exam every semester in school. There is a phased assessment purpose for the children's parents and teachers to build a joint forward. An exercise in learning direction. Achieve a result you set for yourself through your own efforts.

When this mother listened to what I expressed. In particular, he patiently worked with me to achieve ***consciousness. And worked with me to develop a study plan.

Next, I will give you the first tip. If there are parents of piano children in the group, you can suggest communicating with their piano teachers. Make a form. So this form is a semester goal plan determined together with the teacher and the child.

Next, let me introduce to you the second principle. Children can do well when they feel good.

Now please imagine that there is a piano boy at home. Do you think there are many discipline tools, and you agree with them, but you can't change your past habits during piano practice? No matter what the situation, you are prone to losing your temper, and your parents know a lot about it, but there will still be smoke and fire because you always have a switch. I don't know where it will break out.

You can think about it along with your feelings, and I will tell you a little theoretical knowledge in the palm of your hand.

Please raise your left hand and use your hand to understand the brain in your palm. Let's take a look at why we know everything we know. Everyone knows how to accompany their children patiently, but they still can't help but lose their temper when they encounter problems. So now everyone please. Raise your left hand.

This part from the palm to the wrist represents the brain stem. The brainstem controls our basic human functions such as breathing and heartbeat. and most of the body's reactions to cold flights or blows from the outside world.

Now, please fold your thumb into your palm. The thumb represents your midbrain, which stores emotional memories and the main radar sensing area. We commonly call it animals, and animals also have skills.

Finally, fold your other fingers into your palm. Place them over your thumbs and now make your hands into a fist. The entire surface of this cluster represents your cerebral cortex, the back of your cerebral cortex.

It is our sensory and information receiving area such as hearing, vision and touch.

The part at the front of the fingernail becomes our prefrontal cortex. Notice how close it is to the midbrain and brainstem in your hand. You are our reason. The front part of the brain regulates the following skills. And emotional interpersonal response flexibility, intuitive thinking, visual social cognition, self-understanding, avoidance, fear, and morality and conduct.

Now. Let’s imagine that one day, we didn’t sleep well and had many unsatisfactory situations at work.

When I got home, I really wanted to hear my child play the piano, but he didn’t cooperate well. Imagine if your emotional switch is turned on at this time.

Wow, the lid of our brain is now open. Picture this. If the lid of your brain is open, when we are not rational enough, only the animal brain is left at work. One can only imagine what he would be able to do.

The animal brain is first of all our main radar sensing area. Imagine what will happen when the lid of your brain is opened and only the animal brain is left.

At this time, the brain is in the palm of your hand. It can help us all to notice when we have emotions. I found that when the lid of my brain is opened, we will be aware. Deal with our emotions first, then things.

Then I will give you one tip, and the second is to help children feel in the right direction to get better. But when we can’t control our emotions, we should notice ourselves and see if the lid of our brain is open at this time. So what should you do if it opens up? Positive pause is a good tool. You can take a deep breath first, and then leave temporarily to make yourself comfortable. Then deal with emotions first, then deal with things.

Now let me give you a tip, three. Build connections through hugging passion. For example, when practicing piano at home, children may occasionally find the music difficult or they don’t want to practice more. Go and negotiate terms with your parents or lose your temper.

So, if a D-shaped mother appears at this time, they are usually anxious. They will say that you must practice for another half hour, or you will stop learning.

One possibility is that the child is angry and insists on practicing for half an hour. Another result after completing the homework is that both sides suffer, the child cries and the piano practice stops.

When parents with high i traits appear on the stage, they will be very patient. They will first hold their children's hands and encourage them vigorously, or put up a small sticker, or let themselves be encouraged. Let your child perform for you and encourage him. In short, he will think of various ways. I also saw a parent who was so loving that he could even perform a short drama for his children.

So what happens as a result? After a long time, the children have become skinny, and the effect of practicing piano is not very good.

Parents who are still S-shaped usually tell some truths, Mom, I know it’s difficult for you, Mom, let’s take it slow. I can practice with you a few more times. Do you want to eat an orange? Otherwise, mom will pour you a glass of water and you can take a rest first.

Parents with high C-type traits will usually be reasonable. Why did you learn piano in the first place? You can talk about a lot of music in the future through serious practice now. Therefore, basic skills are very important now. Only with basic skills can the fingers have strength and can follow. It is more likely that you can play the music better, and then you can go to the competition when you talk about the music. So now we need basic skills and start practicing seriously. Persistence is victory.

In di'sc's class, we learned that we need to adjust our desired personality at any time according to the needs of the environment and people. Teacher Haifeng said that understanding is more important than love, so in piano learning, this sentence is also particularly important. We should never try to change our child but influence him in a way that he can accept. It is normal to make mistakes and emotions while learning and practicing the piano. We can build links by embracing work.

For example, we can say this, honey, you suddenly lost your temper just now. Mom doesn’t know why. Are you willing to tell your mother what you think?

Or mom, can I give you a hug at this time? Some children usually won't let me hug you right away. You can say that your mother will wait for your hug when you feel better.

Then when the child feels good, we can work together to think of ways to make it better.

My happy relationship with my child helps the child feel better and makes the parent feel better. Parents and teachers, please be more patient and accompany your children attentively.

Children can talk better when they feel good.

To give you a tip, we can create a method called a family concert. A weekly family concert will give the whole family a special time to get together, and it can also give the children a sense of ritual. Let the children build their own self-confidence through the encouragement and appreciation of each family member.

Drex said that children need encouragement like plants need water. So the power of encouragement also plays a big role in piano learning.

So how do we encourage?

1. Clearly describe the child’s behavior that deserves encouragement. The second point is to specifically appreciate the child’s efforts rather than the results.

The third point is to have confidence in children and give them strength.

The fourth point is to pay attention to the child’s feelings.

The fifth point focuses on the positive. Even bad things have something to praise.

The sixth point points out the child's small progress.

So here are four ways to encourage you.

For example, look at your children with appreciation. Baby, mom saw you singing the score seriously and practicing repeatedly. I believe you will get better and better the more you play. Mom was fascinated by it. Can you play it again for mom? Think about how to keep the rhythm steady. We will also Is there any good way? It's up to you to decide how to practice the piano most efficiently. Baby, you worked hard and achieved good results in the exam. You deserve to be proud of yourself. Baby, mommy loves you no matter what.

As for learning the piano, I have some suggestions. The first is to help them discover their potential. Second, let the children make their own choices and take responsibility, and third. Trust and empower them. Fourth, give your children unconditional love. The fifth provides opportunities for children to experience that they are capable, and the sixth provides opportunities for children to help others and contribute.

When parents of piano-playing children follow the above three principles, they will be able to enjoy the advantages of being a happy piano-playing child parent. Because you can hear and enjoy the wonderful music brought to you by your children at any time.

As a piano teacher, I have always had a belief in my heart that by learning piano, we not only master a skill, but the most important thing is that through learning piano, we allow children to exercise willpower and a attitude towards learning. Because the piano has a magical power that makes children become better versions of themselves. Therefore, I also hope that all dear parents of piano children will be patient with you and give your children time to grow up.

I have a piano student who started studying with me at the age of 8 until he was admitted to the United States to attend middle school at the age of 12. During elementary school, he played in every competition, art festival, and chorus in the school. They all participated actively. Every time I saw his smile, my inner confidence increased. He passed the King's exam with excellent results. At the same time, he learned the clarinet and also participated in the orchestra. After being admitted to an American high school, he participated in any orchestra activities in the school. He can get into the state very quickly, which is inseparable from his mother's constant encouragement.

Mom said: Mom hopes that music will bring you happiness, and also hope that it can accompany you throughout your life. I believe that under the guidance of your teacher and your own efforts, you will soar to your heart’s content in the kingdom of music. Mom will do your best for you. The co-pilot, when you need your mother, your mother will be by your side. Music is your playmate and your future. Mom hopes to give it to you as a lifetime gift, because music has a magic power that makes you a better version of yourself.

Yes, the power of encouragement is so powerful. Encouragement is not only used for children, but also in our workplace. Friends are particularly important in life, because everyone. All want to be seen. Everyone wants to be encouraged. We usually say that people need encouragement just like plants cannot live without water.

That’s right, encouragement can be there all the time. Use it in our community operations, use it in our fourth lesson family, and use it with everyone. So let's use encouragement.

Okay, thank you dear friends, today. That’s it for my sharing. I would like to thank the two Xuewei Xiaopingguo and Jin Lei tonight. I would also like to thank all of you who participated in the interaction. Thank you all for listening. I wish you all a good night.