Like I'm not RMB, I can't do it. What are some sentences that everyone likes?

Time is like cleavage, you can get it by squeezing it.

The cashier said that there was no change. Here are two plastic bags for you.

Don't talk to me about feelings, it will hurt a lot of money!

I curse you for buying instant noodles all your life without seasoning packets!

There are 10 kinds of people in the world, one knows binary and the other doesn't.

Although you wear cologne, I can still vaguely smell that scum.

There are only two things I can't do in my life, not this or that.

I think I haven't eaten chicken for a long time ... why else did I get a little excited when I saw the feather duster yesterday?

Smoking is an art of life; Looking for a cigarette is an attitude towards life.

My life has a side and a side, and your life has an s side and a b side.

A woman without talent is a virtue. I must be too evil.

My mother asked me if I had any female (male) friends. I said no, my mother said, this is ok. I said, this is really not ... > _ <

I have gained weight recently, so I can touch the hang-up button by calling and smiling.

Take your hand and drag your son away.

"Guest, are you staying in a hotel?" "I shit."

I was very young. What about you? Are you old?

Everyone says I'm ugly, but I'm beautiful.

The kid next door finally vowed to lose weight-at the graduation job fair, someone said to him, "Sorry, buddy, you blocked my cell phone signal."

Lei Feng did a good deed without leaving a name, but everything was recorded in his diary.

I skip too many classes. I wanted to go to class yesterday. Seeing the professor, the professor was surprised and said, I haven't seen you for so long, and I have grown so big.

I have a left dragon, a right white tiger and Mickey Mouse tattooed on my shoulder.

Every time I miss a girl, I put a brick on the ground, so there is the Great Wall.

Yuanyang played with water, and all his mother drowned; Fly with me, you fucking fell dead.

Pure, fictional, chaotic and beautiful.

Looking for her in the crowd, suddenly looking back, that person still despises me.

After studying for more than ten years, I think it is better to mix in kindergarten.

What is happiness? Happiness is that cats eat fish, dogs eat meat, and Altman beats small monsters.

I received a short message on my cell phone. There is a monkey in the zoo, so ugly that everyone vomits. One day I went there and I threw up. One day you went there and the monkey threw up.

Saying that money is a sin, everyone is fishing; Say beauty is a disaster, everyone wants it; It is said that the height is too cold and everyone is climbing; Say that alcohol and tobacco hurt the body and don't quit; Say heaven is the best, don't go!

Strongly protest against commercial TV dramas!

Although the famous flowers are taken, I will loosen the soil!

Do you want to get rich? Do you want to get lucky? Do you want to be an official? Do you want to become famous overnight? Do you want to be young forever?

-Stop dreaming and study hard!

Loneliness is a person's carnival, and carnival is the loneliness of a group of people.

Love is a road, friends are trees, there is only one road in life, and there are many trees on one road. If you have money, you won't get lost; if you lack money, you will rely on trees; if you are happy, you won't forget your way; when you rest, you will water trees.

Geography teacher: What will our world be like if the earth doesn't turn?

Little B: Even if the earth doesn't turn, we will continue to turn around the Party Central Committee with President Hu as the core.

The bombarded head is also combed by lightning.

Love is a luxury. It's like a fox coat in a Paris window, so dazzling and charming, but the price tag on it will wake people up. Love is also a luxury, you can only look at it from a distance, don't fantasize, don't touch it, because it is indispensable to meet the right person at the right time and in the right place.

If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

Spring is a season of colds and high spirits. Someone accidentally caught a cold, and someone accidentally fell in love. I belong to the former.

I was also an infatuated seed, but it rained and drowned.

When we were young, we often made faces in the mirror; In old age, mirrors are flat.

I will have a son named "handsome" in the future, and others will say, "handsome dad!" "

Happiness is: I am hungry, and when I see someone holding a meat bun in his hand, he is happier than me; I was cold, and he was happier than me when I saw someone wearing a thick cotton-padded jacket. I want to go to the toilet. It's just a pit. You are happier than me when you squat there.

Everyone has at least one dream and a strong reason.

If the heart has no place to live, it will wander everywhere!

When I was a child, I didn't read. My mother said, "When I grow up, I will let you marry a bachelor who sells pork." Now educate my daughter: "study hard and grow up to marry a bachelor who sells pork."

I have lived for more than 20 years and have never done anything for the motherland and the people. Every time I think about it, my heart aches.

There is no rehearsal in life, and it is broadcast live every day, which not only has low ratings, but also has low wages.

The future is bright, but there is no road.

Who says the world is as black as a crow? In fact, one is darker than the other!

What would face do if it wasn't for making money …

Get up every morning and shout, "Fuck Japan." This is not only good for health, but also can cultivate patriotic moral sentiments!

The innocence of love in college is that we can eat instant noodles together and drink soup with an open mind.

There are many backgrounds, and I only have one back.

Looking for him in the crowd, I looked up and saw him flying in the sky … what a bird!

What are you unhappy about? Say it to make everyone happy.