The funniest paragraph copy in the circle of friends

Customer: Since I used the hair tonic I bought from you, why did my hair fall out? Shop assistant: Yes, sir. If you want to grow new hair, you must make room for it first.

People who have always been dissatisfied with their hair styles have one thing in common: they refuse to admit that it is a matter of face.

3. Passing by the hospital parking lot in the morning, a couple, a woman was pregnant and got off the bus and threw up. The man is a little dull, so she just stands by and watches. The woman said, pat me. The man took out his mobile phone, clicked it and patted it.

I found a problem. I like to chat with good-looking people. No wonder I always talk to myself.

One of my colleagues is allergic to mutton, and his face is swollen when he eats mutton, so everyone takes him with him every time he eats mutton skewers. The more swollen his face is, the more authentic his mutton is.

My mother likes playing mahjong, but then I was born. My mother resolutely gave up mahjong for me and my family, because she suddenly felt that hitting me was more interesting.

Seven. Girls should never go out alone at night. It is really dangerous. No one can dissuade them from entering a restaurant casually, and they will gain several pounds.

8. At noon, my friend invited me to dinner. When I paid the bill, I saw him slowly take out the money and said, "Otherwise, I will pay!" " "How dare you!" So I put my hand in his pocket.

9. I have a lovely 3-year-old Lolita at home. Once I came back from kindergarten and began to cry as soon as I got home. I asked her, what's the matter? Why are you crying? She cried and said, I haven't cried all day. Let me cry for a while ... what logic is this?

Tenuto and I went to play in my mother's room one day and came across a diary about my birth. I opened it and saw eight words written on it, "extremely ugly and unacceptable."

I didn't know my criteria for choosing a spouse until I met you.

12. I'm always worried that my home will be stolen. So every time I go out, I change my wifi to password-free, and then I can go to work with confidence. Every day when I go home, I will see more than a dozen Internet surfers guarding my door!

I heard that girls like humorous boys, so I got into the habit of watching jokes every day. A year has passed, and my humor has not changed, but has become a wretched uncle.

14. At the current rate of rising house prices, I don't want to afford a set of affordable housing. I just hope I can afford an affordable grave when I get old!

15. It snowed heavily yesterday. The reporter interviewed in the street: "Aunt, how much do you think it will affect your life today?" Aunt said: "The impact is too great! First of all, you have to see clearly, I am your uncle!

16. Do you want to get rich overnight? Do you want to be worth more than 100 million? Do you need food and clothing? Do you want to live carefree? Why don't you stay with me and we'll think together.

Seventeen. I smoked on the balcony that day, half of which was smoked, and the rest was all smoked by the wind. I didn't follow suit, which may be trouble. But the more I think about it afterwards, the more angry I get. The wind blows!

18. My girlfriend said to me, "You can wash clothes and cook in the future. I earn money to support you! " I was very excited: "Yes, yes! Then what do you do to earn money? " The girlfriend said, "Open a restaurant or a laundry ..."

I am very angry today. I just went to the barber's to have my hair cut. The barber asked me where to cut it, and I said I cut my chin. Then he asked me: What level did you cut your chin? Look at the nose in the middle. Qi bangs look at the face, oblique bangs look at the temperament, and no bangs look at the five senses ... Then I look at myself and find that masking is more suitable!

2 1. Xiao Wang said in the office, "My girlfriend is just like a mobile phone." Colleagues asked: "So small and exquisite, so trendy and fashionable, so essential?" Xiao Wang: "No, I won't talk to you when I have no money!" " .

22. Don't keep asking me. Which is more important, money or face? How to maintain your face without money? Therefore, money is a necessity, and thieves are important!

Twenty-three As long as you are thin, everything is omnipotent. If you are fat, everything is useless.

Wife: Honey, I'm sick. I'm afraid I have to buy a bag. Husband: Can you tell me the connection between the two? Wife: haven't you heard of "all diseases are cured"? Then my husband came in with a brick. Wife: What's this? Husband: Bricks cure all kinds of intractable diseases!