Funny double act lines

In the ever-changing modern society, we may all use lines. Lines not only play a role in portraying the characters' personalities, but also express the thoughts and sentiments of the characters in the play. In fact, many friends are not sure what kind of lines are good lines. The following are the lines of funny double act scripts that I have compiled for you. You are welcome to learn from and refer to them. I hope it will be helpful to you. Lines from a Funny Double Act Script 1

Props: a chair, white makeup paint, a water-soaked handkerchief

(At the beginning, A enters from the left side of the stage to the center of the stage)

A: As the country celebrates the 55th anniversary of the founding of the People's Republic of China, I would like to take this opportunity to wish you good health, family happiness, and all the best.

B: Dear guests, friends, ladies and gentlemen, good evening!

A: Who are you? Come here to cause trouble!

B: I’m an old Huang

A: Where are you, an old Huang?

B: I’m an old Huang

A: Didn’t I already know about Lao Huang, whom you mentioned earlier? Why did you come to Guanli from here?

B: Isn’t this the National Day Gala in my heart today? Mr. Fan Wen, I am here to perform for everyone

A, I am still able to perform programme?

B, why don’t you two win?

A, you win, what are you doing here?

B, let me perform an oboe for everyone

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A: Double act? Do you know what a double act is?

B: I really don’t know, so what do you mean by double act?

A: Double act, it’s like “two yolk eggs”.

B: Bah, what a mess.

A: Just kidding, in fact, to put it simply, double act means one person speaks from behind and the other person acts in front. What needs to be acted cannot be said and what is said cannot be acted, so that "one person talks and learns" .

B: After listening to you say so much, I know that I have a lot of knowledge about double act. How about we perform for everyone?

A: Okay, let’s try it? You talk from behind and I act from the front.

B: Okay, then you clap your hands and we’ll start.

A: (Sit on a chair and clap your hands)

B: Lao Huang, I am thirty-three this year and my weight has exceeded three hundred and three. If you want to ask me why I am so heavy, It’s not that the Communist Party’s policy is good, let me drink more to eat! Let’s not talk about the past, but let’s just talk about today’s lunch dishes, which are really amazing. There are things flying in the sky, running on the ground, fried and stir-fried, steamed and barbecued. , let’s eat, I eat a mouthful of meat, I drink a mouthful of soup, I eat a mouthful of meat, I drink a mouthful of soup, I eat meat, I drink soup, I eat meat, I drink soup, I eat, I drink, I eat, I drink, I eat... Ouch, my stomach hurts, Ouch, my head hurts, Ouch, my tooth hurts, my legs hurt, my feet hurt, why is my back, back, back, back, back.

A: Just scratch it if it itches!

B: That’s wrong, you can’t speak.

A: Ah, if I continue, I will lose my breath! Otherwise, let's switch, and I'd like you to act.

B: Change it, in this world, who is afraid of whom, but I have to do this first.

A: Friends, as the saying goes, a man relies on his clothes and his horse relies on a saddle. This man, if he doesn’t dress up when he gets older, he just won’t look good. There is someone next door to our house. Uncle Li, this old man is over 70 years old. Ever since he watched Zhao Benshan's sketch, he has paid special attention to his appearance. Hey, don't tell me, since Uncle Li dressed up, his waist is no longer sore, his legs are no longer painful, and his feet are no longer cramped. He can go up to the fifth floor in one breath without panting, and he can do it as soon as he goes out on the street. Attracting glances from a group of old ladies. Hey, why is it more difficult for this boy to change clothes than for the big girl to get into the sedan chair? Hey, Lao Huang, are you okay?

B: Okay, here we come.

A: Everyone, look at how he is dressed, oh my god...

B: How about it, he looks handsome.

A: It’s better not to dress up.

B: What are you talking about? This time it officially begins.

A: You can perform whatever I say, but don’t, you can’t perform what I say.

B: Whatever you say, I will act. Only if you can’t tell me, there is nothing I can’t act.

A: Friends, from the beginning, he has to listen to me. I tell him to go east, but he doesn’t dare to go west. I tell him to chase the dog, but he doesn’t dare to chase the chicken. .

B: Why do you talk so much nonsense?

A: Okay, let’s begin.

A: Hold your chest, tighten your abdomen, lift your hips, and hold your head up. Then close your eyes, stretch out your right hand, bend it upward at a 45-degree angle, stretch out your fingers, stretch back, and open your mouth. Put it in your mouth and bite, bite, bite hard.

B: Fuck you, I’m crazy, me.

A: Didn’t you listen to me?

B: Listen to you! I have no hands to listen to you.

A: Don’t get angry! I'm just trying to see if you can act. Now it's time to start.

B: Come on.

A: Let’s see how I deal with him. (Speaking to the audience)

(Singing) There is a sun in the sky - (Said) Big, big, big

(Singing) There is a young man on the ground - (Said) Hot, Hot, hot

(Singing) I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know, why am I so hot, so hot.

I took out a handkerchief to wipe my sweat,

drank a glass of cold water to clear the fire,

took off my coat and blew in the air,

pulled Open your tie to get some fresh air;

(Singing) The north wind is blowing, the snowflakes are floating,

Counting nine cold days, I am freezing and stamping my feet,

What's wrong with me? I don't have a fever. I'm confused. I really should fight in such a cold day.

A: I stretch out my right hand and slap the left cheek, and I stretch out my left hand and slap the right cheek.

A: Stretch out your right hand and hit the left cheek.

A: Stretch out your left hand, slap the right cheek,...

A: Stretch out your right hand, slap the left cheek, stretch out your left hand,...

While talking, B stood up and left...

A: Come back, the performance is not over yet!

B: If you keep beating me, I will turn into a pig.

A: It’s time for the curtain call when we come back.

B returns and takes the curtain call together.

Bow down, that’s it. Funny Double Act Lines Part 2

The New Year is here, and the unit is preparing to hold a social party. Beer Creative has adapted a double act program and is ready to perform on stage. It was my first time to play an oboe, which was quite difficult. Here, thank you Mr. Guo Degang (Sorry, I borrowed your plot)...Thank you Mr. Zhou Weixing (thank you for your wonderful performance)...

Props: chair, pink, pigtails. (A and B come on stage and bow to the audience)

A: The situation in Xinyu is really good, with leapfrog development reaching a climax.

B: The "50 billion yuan" difficulty has been overcome, and the "1010" grand plan has been drawn.

(A, B together): Seeing that the Chinese New Year is coming, we went on stage to join in the fun.

B: Today, we have compiled a short program for you. This show is called Double Act and is performed by two people.

A: (Holds B) Hey, wait a minute, what is a double act? I don’t know how to do it.

B: Don’t worry, as long as two people cooperate well, they can play the double act well. You perform the actions in front, and I speak the words in the back. You don’t act when you say it, and don’t say what you act when you say it. That’s right.

A: Oh, I know, I perform in front, called Qianlianer.

B: Qian Lian'er's performance is more amusing, which is called "Qian Lian Le".

A: He talks from behind, which is called being behind the scenes.

B: The back face acts more naughty.

A: It’s called “thick-skinned”.

B: Go, what are you talking about? Can you tell me if it’s okay?

A: Okay, no problem, isn’t it just a cheerful and cheeky thing? So let’s stop talking nonsense and start right away!

B: Wait, put on makeup before the performance.

A: Oh, I also need to put on makeup. (B puts makeup on A)

B: Now that the makeup is done, look at how cool this guy looks, just like the most beautiful tile in mahjong...

A: (looking at B, expectantly) Which card?

B: Yaoji!

A: Damn it, tell me, are there any rules for oboe?

B: Yes, you clap your hands in front and I will talk from behind. You can’t move and you have to listen to me.

A: Oh, I will stop moving as soon as I clap my hands. I will listen to your command.

B: So smart. So let’s get started?

A: OK, let’s start.

(A turned around and sat down, B hid behind the chair, A clapped his hands and started not to move. B walked out from behind the chair, looked at A and smiled)

B: Everyone, see you No, once he claps his hands, he can't move. If he moves again, he has to obey my command. Do you believe it or not? If you don’t believe it, let’s give it a try and give it a try.

(B turns to face A, but A remains motionless)

B: Stretch out your right arm. (A stretches out his right arm)

B: Make a fist. (A clenched his fist, seriously)

B: Extended his index finger. (A extends his index finger)

B: Hook back. (A hooks his hand back)

B: Hooks it into the nose. (A puts his index finger at his nostril)

B: Drill in. (A makes a nose-drilling motion, A shows surprise, B laughs at the audience)

B: Drill in again. (A performs the nose-drilling motion again, with a pained expression on his face)

B: Take it out. (A takes it out obediently)

B: Put it in his mouth. (A was about to put his index finger in his mouth, but when he heard this, he immediately shook his head and stood up)

A: This can’t be done. It's too damaging for you.

B: (laughing apologetically) Haha, why don’t you test your reaction ability. Now let's get started.

A: It’s just official, we can’t play with this anymore. start.

B: Then let’s act in a literary drama, an old drama, the kind of pretentious one in old movies.

A: It’s an old drama, okay. This one is a bit sentimental.

B: It’s definitely sentimental. Today, with so many leaders, let’s just be sentimental for a while. How about a “Brother and Sister Farewell”?

A: Brother and sister farewell, it’s interesting, okay, let’s do this.

(The two return to their seats, A claps, B speaks, A holds a towel and makes exaggerated dramatic movements in response to B's words)

B: Everyone, sit down, calm down, and look at me Act out an old play.

The plot is about cousins ??who are reluctant to part and difficult to separate.

(A begins by playing the role of cousin and cousin)

——Oh, dear cousin, I am leaving you soon.

——Oh, dear cousin, where are you going?

——Oh, dear cousin, He Mi called and asked me to perform at Beihu Hotel. ——Oh, dear cousin, I won’t let you go.

——No, I’m leaving right now!

——(A makes a squirming gesture and twists his waist) Well... Well, I won’t let you go.

——No, I must go!

——(A continues to twist his waist and bite the towel, imitating coquettishness) Well... I won’t let you go. Well... I won't let you go! Um..., um..., um...

A: Let her go! (A looks angry and throws the towel, B comes out from behind the chair)

B: What’s wrong? This is so sentimental.

A: What kind of sentiment, my waist is about to break. What a mess...

B: This is not just to celebrate the New Year and make everyone happy.

A: You can’t come here to make everyone happy. Look at me, I'm so tall and powerful, and you want me to say "um, um, um", is this me?

B: Yes, this is not you.

A: Who is it?

B: Thai ladyboy.

A: Fuck you. Hey, I said, you know I came from the army, but I really can’t act in this literary drama.

B: So, you want to do a martial arts show?

A: Yes, the martial arts drama should fully express my masculinity.

B: Well, let’s do a martial arts show. You have to be prepared.

A: No problem, let’s do it.

(A turns around and sits down, B hides behind the chair, A claps his hands and performs in front; B talks from behind)

B: New Year is here, people are laughing, Beihu Hotel is really lively!

Celebrate the New Year, sing new songs, and have many exciting programs.

Let me perform it below, I guarantee you will laugh.

If you ask me what I am playing, I will scare you by firing bricks over my head!