Children always touch their private parts and pinch their legs. What the hell is going on in TA's head?

My visitor: Xiaofeng's mother (anonymous). She said Xiaofeng found that he always touched his little brother after he went to kindergarten. Although he has been reminded not to touch it in public, the frequency of touching it is too high. He is always caught sneaking around in public, and sometimes he will tell you "Mom, don't look" without money!

Mother couldn't help but ask curiously, "Xiaofeng, why do you like touching little JJ so much?"

Feng Te Jr. told his mother seriously, "Because it is amazing, it will become bigger when I touch it. You see, mom-"he wanted to show me, and I quickly stopped him!

Why do children love to touch private parts? How can we guide it?

It is actually very common for children to touch private parts. Some children will rub their private parts with pillows and pinch their legs instead of fiddling with their private parts. Sometimes children play with each other's private parts.

1, neuromyelin development unlocks children to explore new models.

In life, when the network is busy, it is basically the easiest time for us to put down our mobile phones. The unsmooth transmission of information affects our curiosity about information. And when the network becomes better, you will involuntarily open more content to satisfy your curiosity. The same is true for children who like to "touch private parts".

Therefore, children after the age of 3 will like to touch private parts, more because the completion of myelination allows him to get feedback from sexual organs faster. This quick feedback enabled him to open a different way of physical experience.

2, not "sexual stimulation", but fun and comfortable.

The reason why children feel uncomfortable touching "private parts" is actually because many adults imagine touching "private parts" as adults and think it is a kind of self-stimulation. But in fact, only adults think too much Before approaching puberty, children only regard "touching private parts" as a way of self-comfort, not sexual behavior.

Many people have a big misunderstanding about children touching private parts:

Myth 1: Boys love to touch private parts more than girls. No, touching private parts has little to do with gender.

Many developmental psychologists have also found that the psychological differences between men and women far outweigh the differences. In fact, the gender differences between them are mostly influenced by cultural and social factors. Therefore, in the matter of touching private parts, both boys and girls have only one identity: that is, TA is a child full of enthusiasm and curiosity about new things. In addition to exploring the self-body. There are also elements of psychological pressure and self-comfort.

Myth 2: It must be severely stopped to prevent children from forming habits. -No, the frequency of behavior will decrease with the improvement of children's social consciousness.

Another thing that worries parents most about "touching private parts" is that they are worried that their children will develop habits and become addicted, which will be difficult to correct when they grow up. After the child is 6 years old, with the improvement of social consciousness, the incidence of masturbation in public places will tend to decline.

When the child's needs rise to the needs of self-realization, he is no longer satisfied with the original pleasure. Just like a child who likes fried rice, he will want to do it with you one day. This is actually the need for children to realize themselves. He expects to change from a caring person to a helper and become a part of the environment and family.

When he succeeds in obtaining the way of self-realization and feels the corresponding pleasure, the original primary pleasure will be covered up. Therefore, as long as children are given more initiative in life, this behavior will gradually decrease naturally with growth.

What should parents do when they see their children touching their private parts?

Although "touching private parts" is a normal self-exploration of children, for parents, this scene must not be ignored. For children, the effective help of parents will also help them to establish a correct "view of sex education."

Therefore, seeing children touching private parts can help children in the following three aspects.

First, limit "as" to avoid the reinforcement of behavior.

When a child touches his private parts, as long as he is not in public, it will be more appropriate to quit naturally. Because your excessive words and behaviors at this moment will make your children anxious and have natural behavior conflicts. When children are under too much pressure, it is easier to comfort themselves with "touching private parts". Only when children touch their private parts in public do we need a "limited" reminder.

For example, children pulling their private parts in front of adults in the living room can be dealt with by diverting their attention. For example, take him to play some novel games. Or gently tell him that if he feels itchy, he can go to the room to deal with it, and his penis will be shy when seen by adults.

Second, establish children's physiological boundaries, starting with heterosexual parents, and avoid suspicion.

Many parents feel that there is no need to avoid parents of the opposite sex, but can't children see it? But because it is your own child, this concept of the opposite sex should be established from the closest person. After all, for young children, due to the cognitive stage, universal rules are the easiest for him to remember and abide by spontaneously.

And the frequency of parent-child interaction is much more than others. This sense of body boundary and the concept of heterosexual parents avoiding suspicion can be exported to children more deeply and deepen their understanding of the opposite sex and body boundary.

For example, help children bathe, and try to let same-sex parents bathe their children after they go to kindergarten. If conditions do not allow, you should also avoid directly helping your child clean his private parts (children of this age can already clean themselves). Only by starting with the most frequent details of life and letting children feel the sense of boundary between gender and privacy can children truly internalize their own rules and sex education will not become a mere formality.

Third, rich outdoor activities help children sublimate the quality of spiritual pleasure.

In fact, the most important thing to help children avoid frequent "touching private parts" is to give them more rich opportunities for exploration and social closeness. Let the children sublimate their spiritual pleasure.

After all, when you feel deeper pleasure, the original original self-comfort (touching private parts) will be worse. Like a basketball fan. If he can feel his value and ability on the basketball court every day, he will definitely be more willing to show his skills on the basketball court than stay at home and cook TV dramas. For him, this kind of pleasure is more attractive than talking about TV dramas.

Therefore, if a child is found "touching his private parts", instead of being anxious and nervous, it is better to take him directly to find a favorite sport, so that outdoor sports can meet the needs of children's self-exploration and spiritual pleasure.

In short, as jane nelsen said, if a child is punished for what he is destined to do because of his growth, he will be full of confusion. This confusion will make him feel guilty and ashamed. And "touching private parts" itself is the way for children to explore themselves when they grow up. This is not a bad behavior, and children should not and need not bear extra responsibility for it.

On the contrary, as parents, we should see the stage of children's growth, provide more help and exploration space for children, and help children complete their self-growth as soon as possible.