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Samples and analysis of Shanghai high school entrance examination full score essays in 2013 and 2014

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2013 Shanghai High School Entrance Exam Full Score Essay:

Today, I want to talk about what’s in my heart. Some people say: “We shouldn’t live for others.” I want to say: “We can’t just live for others either. Live by yourself. "Remember others and know how to be grateful. Only in this way will you not feel lonely and hesitant on the long road. Today, I want to say what is in my heart: "Thank you sincerely, thank you for the light and heat you have brought to me."

2013 Shanghai High School Entrance Examination Full Score Essay: Today, I want to say what is in my heart< /p>

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The sky gradually turned dark, and the strong wind blew the dark clouds everywhere. I stared at the dark clouds above my head uneasily.

At this time, you came, carrying a red cloth belt and wearing a thin coat. The clothes were open, and the close-fitting thermal underwear underneath was exposed to the field of vision, without any obstruction. "The weather is still relatively cold, so wear single clothes and be careful not to catch a cold." I wanted to remind you that it is not good to leave your clothes open in front of so many people. Unexpectedly, you smiled and said, "I just came to bring you food. I happened to ring the bell. I was afraid that you would forget. I ran all the way up. It was quite hot." Only then did I notice that there was a layer around my neck. The sweat stains soaked into the underwear, and the black patches looked so dazzling.

All the way to the dormitory, you told me everything about your family, big and small. I answered all the way but didn't hear much. When we got to the dormitory, we sat opposite each other, two people, two eyes. You finally asked me about my studies. I hesitated for a few words and then immersed myself in eating. You lit a cigarette, took two deep breaths and said, "When you are tired, rest more. Don't exhaust yourself. Eat more fruits. No, your mother specially told me to buy fresh apples, and I will bring them to you..."

I looked up and looked out the window, thick clouds were rolling in. You said you were going to the bathroom, pulled some paper and walked out. I said you just need to stay in the dormitory, no one is around, and just lock the door when you leave. You turned around and said, "No, just go to the public restroom." Your voice was low, and you had that pace. I can't understand your stubbornness. After locking the door and going downstairs, I caught a glimpse of a red bag lying quietly in a corner. My heart was suddenly shocked, and a wave of sourness filled my heart. My vision gradually blurred, and my father's words came to my ears: "No, I just go to the public toilet." "I just go to the public toilet..." It stung my heart like a needle. I finally understood that my father's heart was not for him. For myself, but for me, but I... There was a heavy downpour outside the window, as if to wash away something. The raindrops patted gently on the ground, as if caressing a frivolous heart. The raindrops in the wind connected into a thread, connecting us together at this moment. My father was diagnosed with the disease years ago, and I heard it is quite serious. I remember one time he said, "It would be great if I could see that you have a future, I'm afraid..." Before he could say anything, his mother hurriedly stopped him. The scene of my father smiling shyly seemed to be right in front of me.

Some people say: "We shouldn't live for others." I want to say: "We can't live just for ourselves." Remember others and know how to be grateful. Only in this way can we be successful in the long journey. You won't feel lonely and hesitant. Today, I want to say what is in my heart: "Thank you sincerely, thank you for the light and heat you have brought to me."

Analysis of the full score essay for the 2013 Shanghai High School Entrance Examination:

In In the face of beautiful emotions, no matter how clever the idea is, no matter how beautiful the language is, they will all be eclipsed. And this emotion is the key to impressing the marking teacher. The "I" in the article felt a little unhappy when seeing the image of his father, and was afraid of losing his face. But as the text progresses, the author uses the detail of "my father goes to the toilet" to help "me" find the beautiful feelings in his heart and understand that he should learn to "remember others and know how to be grateful." The portrayal of the character's demeanor and clothing is delicate and in place, and the deep father's love is vividly expressed. His persistent words of "just go to the public restroom" and his decisive action of "just walk out" are both impressive.

2013 Shanghai High School Entrance Examination Full Score Essay: Today, I want to express my true feelings (2)

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I am dead.

Sitting on my freezer, staring blankly at the black and white sadness in the hall, I didn't feel anything at all - no breathing, no heartbeat, and nothing to touch. And the face was expressionless. "Emotionless?" I paused to think, even as the sound of gunfire began to be heard outside. "Well, it should be this expression that occupies almost half of my life. The look of death may be someone else's last comment on me! I think..."

I saw people leaving one after another. Come in. They are my former classmates, from junior high school to elementary school, and even a few friends from kindergarten who I haven’t seen for many years. I jumped off the freezer and approached my classmates who were kneeling on the mat. Then I sat cross-legged and put my face on my hands, wanting to hear how I exist in other people's lives. But their mouths were tightly cuffed like shackles. It wasn't until someone left that I heard a small sob from the crowd... I swallowed and moved closer to see their faces. As expected, they were all friendly faces. I heard some whispering: "Although he is expressionless when he is serious, he makes us happy when he is silly..." I raised my head and tried to keep tears in my eyes. I accidentally caught a glimpse of the Buddha statue on the wall that seemed to be smiling. So I stood up, tilted my head, leaned over and whispered in their ears: "I do!"

I saw my relatives walking slowly. The adults knelt down, and the children stared blankly at all this, and were also pushed down by the adults. After an unknown amount of time, only the parents who were crying were left. My father's eyes were swollen and red, and my mother was leaning against him. How many years later, I once again saw my mother leaning on my father's shoulders. That scene made my heart bleed immediately.

I just didn’t expect that the black hair I would see every time my parents came to deliver food would turn gray as I grew up. Regarding time, I am so weak that I cannot even share one second of aging for my parents. But at this time, what I brought to my parents was endless pain. The ant nest built by ants of family affection for more than ten years finally burst into tears today. I dropped to my knees, lower, lower, until my body was touching the ground. On weekdays, they always smile and teach me how to hold my head high, but I can only bow my head to thank my parents. "Father and mother, please give me a chance. I want to continue to accompany you!" It was so heartbreaking that I was so heartbroken... "Child, get up." I heard someone urging me habitually in my ear. . I pinched myself hard before I believed that I had gained a new life from the dream. At this moment, I really want to whisper in the ear of everyone I see: "Hello, good morning."

Analysis of the full score essay for the 2013 Shanghai High School Entrance Examination:

The idea is strange Absolutely, novel idea. The author starts from the "death of self" and writes in an unconventional way. How should we cherish life and cherish life? Such a proposition, viewed from the perspective of "death", can solve the problem immediately. The entire article is constructed from a "dream", one is the state in the dream, and the other is the feeling of waking up from the dream. The former uses a lot of space to write about his feelings about friendship, parents and elders, and thus elicits the true feelings gained in heartbreaking moments.

The latter is mentioned briefly, waking up the dreamer with "Hello, good morning". Who would have thought that a dream would cause "me" to experience such unforgettable pain. This kind of idea is amazing.

I hope it can help you and hope you will adopt it