A child who loves to lose his temper is actually calling for love. Why do you say that?

In real life, many mothers find that their children suddenly become "disobedient" after entering the second grade, often singing against adults, easily losing their temper, making a scene and fighting against their parents. Their emotions are like a small gun barrel, which explodes a little, sometimes without warning, and their bad temper comes at once, whether it explodes or not. So let's see today that a child who loves to lose his temper is actually calling for love. Why?

1. Behind anger is actually a desire for love.

When will people get angry? It must be when the other person doesn't do what he wants. In other words, people who lose their temper are asking others to make changes. Just as parents are angry with their children for being naughty, they want to change their children, hoping that they will do better and worry less about themselves, and behind this "hope" is to get their understanding. Think about it, if children can make their parents happy, not only study well, but also be sensible and clever, parents will naturally worry a lot. And children's understanding is the expression of parents' desire for love. Because the performance of love includes understanding, respect, understanding, protection, recognition, concern, support, help, acceptance, and so on. The more angry a person is, the more he needs love. Of course, anger is also destructive, because it will alienate each other, but those who dare to express anger must weigh the pros and cons and understand that the other party will pay for themselves, and they will eventually benefit.

The child loses his temper because he thinks you don't love me enough.

Psychologist Herbart said: Children need love, especially when they feel that they are not worthy of love. Auggie in the movie Miracle Boy is a defective boy, and his sister is beautiful and smart. At first, my sister was the apple of my eye. After the younger brother was born, he almost took away all the love of his parents. My best friend said to her, "Auggie is the sun, others are planets, and they all revolve around him." When the mother realized that she had neglected her daughter, she suddenly received a phone call from her son's school, so she hurried to the school. Looking at the back of her mother's departure, she threw the remote control board angrily because of emotional breakdown. "When did you pay attention to me?" She growled at her mother. Auggie went to school, and you got bored, so you began to care about me? "In her heart, she is eager to get the love of her parents like her younger brother.

Children don't know how to express their emotions.

I was not an extrovert when I was young, so I became impatient when I was anxious, and my tone of voice became better, which made others feel very angry. In fact, there are many children like me. They may not be losing their temper, but they just don't know how to express their emotions. Therefore, when expressing, it is easy for others to misunderstand and feel that they are losing their temper and grandstanding. Wang Yu Wei, a child-rearing expert, also expressed a similar view: children will express their emotions in a similar way because of the lack of cognition and expression, but they are not really losing their temper.