My marriage has come to an end, and I am so unwilling.

Oral: Xiaoxi, 33, a clothing store clerk.

Finishing: red olive

My husband Hai Qiang is a salesman of the company and often travels all over the country. We get together less and leave more, but our feelings have not decreased at all. Every time I stare at him, I still have a feeling of falling into the bone marrow. I have been married to him for 8 years, and I feel that he is still a romantic. Last September 28th was our eighth wedding anniversary. He bought me a set of cosmetics and a bunch of roses, which made me feel like a fragrant first love. In order to leave an eternal memory for this anniversary, we also took a group of wedding photos with our children in a wedding photo studio. Looking at the beautiful smile left in the photo, I thought happiness was that simple.

We all come from the county to work in Baoding. The two old people are not in Baoding, so the days before were really hard. We rented a house, and when the children were young and no one looked at me, we resigned and took them with us. Haiqiang's income was low at that time, and I was even down and out until I was in arrears for half a month's rent and told all the good things to the landlord. She didn't get kicked out because she thought my life was really hard. Now that I have a house and a car, the material conditions can basically be met, so the previous days were an experience, and I really don't want to look back.

It is in terms of personality that I am very different from Hai Qiang. He is quiet and doesn't have many friends. Back in Baoding, he is like an "otaku", playing games and watching TV at home. Of course, he will also go to the supermarket to buy food, cook and wash clothes. I don't really want him to do this. I think it's useless for a big man to wash clothes, but he loves cleanliness. He can't stand leaving his clothes in the washing machine for two days. He always washes them at any time. This formed the habit that I didn't do housework when he was at home.

And I am a lively, cheerful and enthusiastic person, especially like making new friends. When the children were young, I looked after them by myself and had no time to contact my old friends. Now that my children are at school, I often get together with my friends whenever I have time, sometimes going for an outing and sometimes eating.

Hai Qiang joined us in a mountain climbing activity in the county. But he seems to lack a sense of humor, and he can't take jokes from others, which makes the atmosphere not very good and makes me feel embarrassed. I want to talk about him when I go back. We are all such close friends. Please learn to adjust the atmosphere and don't be so serious. Unexpectedly, when I got home, Hai Qiang blamed me and said, Xiaoxi, I won't attend such parties in the future, so you should go less. If you want to play, the three of us will travel in the future. Why is cliques boring?

I am really depressed. I said Haiqiang, why are you so boring? Don't you know that one more friend is one more way?

Hai Qiang is sitting on the sofa moping. Later, I thought he didn't come back often, and it was boring to come back and quarrel, so I said, come on, let's eat. This eased the very depressing atmosphere.

I think this may be a common problem of narrow-minded men, because they are not at home, so they are not at ease with their wives. Maybe this is also a sign of loving their wives. Thought of here, my anger in my heart is much smaller.

A few months ago, at 7 o'clock in the morning, a short message suddenly appeared on my mobile phone: Hello! What are you doing? Guess who I am?

A strange number! I think others may ignore it. But I've always been curious I always thought my friend was joking with me, so I went back. Who are you? The name on the courier!

There is no news from that mobile phone.

At that time, I felt like a new friend I met not long ago. He is a friend of my girlfriend Hong and a driver of a company. He is very humorous. I couldn't resist my curiosity and called, but no one answered the phone.

I sent another message. Are you XXX?

Still no news from the mobile phone. I think, forget it, there must be a mistake, or harassing text messages. .

It happened that there were many new clothes and many customers in the shop. I was so busy greeting customers that I gradually forgot about it.

Who knows that when I came home from work at night and just started cooking, a short message came from my mobile phone: I know that you and your husband have long lost their feelings, and now I am pregnant. When will you divorce?

I was shocked at once. I feel that my hand holding the mobile phone began to tremble, and the beautiful image of Haiqiang in my heart collapsed instantly. I started calling again, but the phone kept refusing to answer. There was nowhere to vent the pent-up nameless fire, so I began to call Haiqiang. Hearing Hai Qiang's still familiar voice, my tears burst out. I asked Hai Qiang what was going on, whether it was true or not. If he tells me the truth, I think I will forgive him as long as he turns around.

Hai Qiang smiled on the phone. He said Xiaoxi, I'm kidding you. This number is my new card. I just wanted to see if you were really angry. Well, a husband like you is not handsome and has no money, and no one in the street looks up to it.

After hearing what Hai Qiang said, my anger vanished immediately, but I still felt that I could only say that by scolding him. I said you are such an asshole. There is no such joke between husband and wife. Come back and apologize to me!

Hai Qiang said yes, Xiaoxi, I will go back next Tuesday.

But I'm not even in the mood to cook. I just make do with it for my son.

After Haiqiang came back this time, I was still waiting for him to give me a hug as usual, but he obviously forgot about it. He took out the gifts for my son and me, said he was tired, and immediately lay in bed.

I suddenly became more careful. I started dialing that number before he explained it to me. The phone was connected, but no one answered. It's not Haiqiang's cell phone number at all. I can't hold back my feelings any longer. I raised my mobile phone and slapped it at Hai Qiang. Haiqiang, let me see. Where is your new mobile phone card? How long are you going to lie to me? The fox's tail is showing, and you still want to play me like a fool? You want me to make room without saying hello?

My repeated questioning filled my cheeks with tears. I pushed him back and forth with my hand, but I really hoped that he would tell me that he didn't destroy this family.

He suddenly put his arms around me and didn't talk for a long time, but I could hear his heart beating hard. After a while, he suddenly hugged me and burst into tears. He begged me to forgive him. He asked me to forgive every man's mistakes because of loneliness.

In his intermittent narration, I understood that the woman was one of his clients, a native of Handan, who helped him to contact many businesses. She divorced her husband and had two children. She is not as beautiful as me, but in Hai Qiang's eyes, she is a feminine woman with a gentle amorous feelings. After a drink, they began to get together because of loneliness. Hai Qiang thought it was just an impulse, but she didn't expect the woman to pretend to do it. In the future, as long as Hai Qiang goes anywhere on business, she can find him to meet. Hai Qiang may not want to abandon his marriage, but that woman has said more than once that he should get a divorce and that I will definitely find a "lover" because of loneliness. This time, she stressed that she was pregnant this time and found my number from his mobile phone. She wanted to call me directly. But Hai Qiang said she was not pregnant.

I asked him more than once if he liked her. He said frankly that he didn't like it. I said angrily that I don't like you. Why do you want to say how you feel?

Facing Hai Qiang's betrayal, I really can't forgive him. I recall the days when he was not at home. I take care of my son without regrets. I always wanted him to make more money while he was young. Our life will get better and better, but I didn't expect him to jump into the arms of other women.

I cried all night, and I thought all night. I want to divorce him, but I know that if I divorce, I won't get married again, because I don't like any other men, and other men are not my son's father.

A few days later, I decided to divorce him. It pains me to think of the days when they were together. Maybe love is really selfish and can't have it at the same time.

I called his father in Zhangjiakou and asked him to bring their household registration book, because Haiqiang's household registration has never moved out.

When I saw Haiqiang's father coming to bring us sweet potatoes and peanuts two days later, I really couldn't bear to hurt the old man's heart in the face of his sparse white hair. However, when my heart has been stabbed by the sharp weapon of Haiqiang, I have no choice but to expose the wound.

Haiqiang's father said, Xiaoxi, I don't know what you're doing with your hukou book, so I came here in a hurry, didn't I delay you?

I fought back my tears and said in a very calm tone, Dad, there is someone outside Haiqiang, and that woman is pregnant. We are going to divorce, and the account should have been completed.

Hearing this, his father's face suddenly changed. He took off his cloth shoes at once, and I hit you, ungrateful rabbit lamb! I pulled my shoes on Hai Qiang's back and heard Hai Qiang shout "Ah".

Hai Qiang, you insulted our ancestors. Do you think you can break up with that woman? His father snapped.

Hai Qiang said, covering her head, Dad, I'm not serious with her. I'm sorry, xiaoxi. I won't contact her again.

Haiqiang's father asked me to forgive Haiqiang this time and kept putting in a good word for me. As he spoke, he burst into tears. The sadness of the old man made my most fragile feelings begin to recover, my heart became a ball, and tears could no longer help but surge out. I thought of my son and my parents, fearing that their happiness would be ruined by my own impulse. Looking at the old man's timid eyes, I finally withdrew my decision to divorce.

Hai Qiang's father left in tears. Before he left, he repeatedly asked Hai Qiang to apologize to me.

After the old man left, I told Hai Qiang not to divorce, but you must resign, change your number and never contact her again.

Haiqiang did everything I asked.

Then we lived a quiet life for about a month. He picks up the children, buys food and cooks, and we occasionally go for a walk after dinner. It seems that we are reliving the time of love again. But I feel that Haiqiang is much more polite to me, and that kind of politeness makes our feelings somewhat different.

A month later, he found another job, still doing sales work, only this time as a sales manager, and basically did not have to travel.

I'm glad I didn't tell my parents that I wanted a divorce, which made them sad. I think our days are back on track. But I suddenly found that one day I was always in a trance and absent-minded at work, as if I was always worried that a woman would suddenly appear in front of me and take my husband away. In the past, my self-confidence seemed to be much less, and I began to like to "dormant" at home and stay away from those parties. This is so unlike my character.

Hai Qiang went to Shenyang for business again because of his work needs. I seldom call him at ordinary times. It happened that something happened to my unit in those days. I want to talk to him and ask him to help me analyze something. I started calling him after 9 pm, but no one answered. I am an anxious person. Nobody answered me. I'll call back later, but it's a disconnected signal. I have been calling, but I still can't get through. So I called his unit leader, and his unit leader told me, "Where did he tell you about the business trip?" This sentence makes me depressed to death. Then the leader said, "Actually, I don't need Haiqiang to go on a business trip this time, but he said he would investigate the market first." Hearing this sentence, I suddenly lost the courage to call him like a deflated ball. Intuitively, something happened again.

In desperation, I started texting him again. I just want to test whether he still has feelings for his son. I did not hesitate to do the experiment with my son. I said Haiqiang, my son has a fever, and I helped him with infusion in the hospital.

But he didn't reply to such a short message, and I didn't sleep that night.

At 9 o'clock the next morning, I received a phone call from Hai Qiang. I don't want to answer any more, and I don't want to hear any explanation from him. I'm completely frozen.

He also started to keep calling, and I didn't answer any of them. Then he sent me a short message. He said he would take a shower at night and couldn't hear the phone. Then I accidentally broke my mobile phone when I came out and turned it off. The next day, he went to the mobile phone shop and bought a new mobile phone, only to see the text message. He said you worked hard. How is your son?

To be honest, I really don't believe his explanation. How can such a coincidence happen? After thinking about it for a long time, I finally understand that if a man's heart is no longer with this woman, then this woman will despise him anyway.

Although I always want to walk through Qian Shan with Haiqiang, I always hope that our world will become more and more exciting. But now, I don't want to share a man with another woman

Now I am really ready for a divorce. Although I have many disappointments, our marriage is doomed to come to an end.