Who is the "new generation of good wives and mothers"? Read Good Wife and Good Mother Jin Yuanbao

Usually, we think that the standard of a good woman is a "good wife and mother". In the past, when we wanted to describe a good wife and mother, the following words would always pop up in our minds: gentle and virtuous, loyal, hardworking, selfless dedication... Now, with the development of society, such a good wife and mother may make her husband It feels boring and makes the child feel monotonous. Therefore, the new generation of good wives and mothers no longer blindly control themselves, nor do they blindly sacrifice themselves and seek perfection. Instead, they use a new attitude towards life to balance the relationship between themselves and their families. Not only do they need a good husband and good children, they also need a good job, a good attitude, and a good life of their own! Are you a new generation of good wives and mothers? Send a text message to 82576901 and tell us your understanding of "good wife and loving mother"!

A model for the new generation of good wives and loving mothers

Yang Lan

In addition to being a "beautiful mother", Yang Lan is also a "foundation chairman" and a "philanthropist" , "host", "member of the National Committee of the Chinese People's Political Consultative Conference" and many other identities. She is a "flying star", but she is also one of the parents with the highest attendance rate in her child's piano school; she is busy 365 days a year, but she accompanied her child to travel to 15 countries before he was 8 years old; she teaches her child not to talk in class , she would say "My mother was also a talkative child when she was a child"; when faced with the problems that celebrities' children often encounter, she is calm about the pressure and gaze of the outside world, and insists that her children should also inherit this sunshine-like attitude. tolerant. How to explain her superpower to manage career and family? She said: "My children are my tonic."

Wu Xiaoli

As a famous anchor of Phoenix TV, Wu Xiaoli’s appearance is the kind of "blessing" that most Chinese people like: round and round, always smiling, making people look at her. Very comfortable. Wu Xiaoli holds the important position of director of Phoenix News Channel and has a successful career. However, she still has romantic feelings and life style. She makes her home warm and comfortable, and her husband dotes on her. Wu Xiaoli is a decisive and strong woman in public, but she is an out-and-out good wife and mother at home. Her career and family are perfectly arranged by her.

Little S

Little S is a role model for modern women - angelic face, devilish figure, independence, public and private compatibility, and a perfect balance between career and family. Xiao S was once jokingly called "evil" by her partner Cai Kangyong. Naturally, this is a high compliment to her. From love to pregnancy to marriage, coupled with his irreplaceable position in the film and television industry, Xiao S can be said to be proud of his life! Everything is going according to her wishes step by step. She is like a beautiful witch holding a magic wand, and life shines brightly under her magic wand.

Venus

Venus is like a "successful" performance art in her life, successfully changing herself from "he" to "she"; successfully realizing her dream; Successfully fall in love, marry, and even become a mother (by adoption, of course) because Venus understands that "mother" is a woman's ultimate gender identity. As for her German husband, he has been a full-time husband since getting married, studying Chinese during the day and taking care of the children at night. On the other hand, Jin Xing has never given up on her career. She is on tours and exhibitions, and is always on the go. For the three children who are already in elementary school, Venus is both a hard-working "father" and a strict "mother."

Faye Wong

The fate of this "singing queen" seems to have been influenced by her children. In 1996, Faye Wong married her son and gave birth to an alternative music work - "Impotent", which appeared on the cover of "Time" magazine. Unfortunately, not long after, the couple composed another song for their daughter. "Child" has become a souvenir of this short marriage. Of course, these setbacks did not cut off Faye Wong's happy path of continuing to get married and have children. Nowadays, Faye Wong, who has tasted the ups and downs of the world, has faded out of the music scene and is busy with fundraising and other matters for the "Yanran Angel Fund".

Fu Mingxia

Before the age of 4, Fu Mingxia was known as a genius prodigy in diving. Before the age of 20, she was the most successful athlete in Olympic history. After that, she took on commercials and became a "Outstanding leader", getting a degree from Tsinghua University, marrying into a wealthy family... enjoying a wonderful life that many women dream of. Soon, the child was born, and she had both sons and daughters, so she became a pure housewife and began her quiet life.

Career or family

Confidant: Zhang Na (pseudonym), female, 30 years old, creative director of an advertising company

Everyone in the advertising industry knows that, Creative work is quite energy-consuming, and it is common to stay up late and work overtime. In the past 6 years, I have almost never slept before 12 o'clock. Of course, according to my current position, I no longer need to write those troublesome copywriting, but it is definitely not an easy task to lead a creative team. Now I feel that every day is filled with responsibilities, and I travel very frequently on business. It is really difficult to take care of family affairs. I don’t know how other professional women deal with the conflict between career and family. In short, I have never found a good solution.

Now, the child is 8 years old and has just entered the first grade of elementary school. I know that this is the time when parent management is most needed. My child’s teacher has also called me many times, hoping that I can spare more time and energy to communicate with my child, but I am really embarrassed. I come home late in the evening, and my son goes to bed early; in the morning, my child goes to school early, and my mother-in-law sends him out early. Therefore, I can only see him two or three times a week, and rarely communicate with him. I spend almost all my Saturdays and Sundays on business trips, meetings, and reviewing plans. I rarely go to the park with my children, and I feel very ashamed and distressed when I think about it.

Recently, I have also been thinking about my current situation. It’s a new year, how can I live more comfortably? How to balance career and family? I am also painfully looking for answers.

Confessor: An Li (pseudonym), female, 35 years old, middle-level company

I got married when I was 24 and gave birth to my son when I was 25. In the sixth month of pregnancy, I showed signs of miscarriage. My husband and mother-in-law were very worried and asked me to take maternity leave in advance, but my employer did not allow me to take maternity leave in advance. So, for the sake of my children, I resigned from my original employer.

The son is the heartthrob of his grandparents. If they feel a little uncomfortable, the two old people will feel like the sky is falling. After my son turned one year old, my husband and I proposed the idea of ??finding a job, but my mother-in-law was not very happy. In the past, my mother-in-law and I took care of our children. Since it was our own child, we were very attentive and our son was well taken care of. And if I go out to work, I have to hire a nanny for my son. My mother-in-law always says: "I can't worry about the nanny myself!"

Although my mother-in-law is not very happy, I still work in the company I am now. In the beginning, I was just an ordinary salesman. Due to my outstanding work performance, I was appreciated by my leadership, and I have come step by step to where I am now. Since my husband is also very busy at work, our son is mostly taken care of by his parents-in-law. The old man is always obedient to the child, but my son has developed a selfish and stubborn temper, which often makes my husband and I angry.

Now, my mother-in-law is very dissatisfied with me working all day, saying that I don’t look like a good wife or mother at all. Some time ago, my son got into a fight with his classmates at school. I beat him up when I got home. My mother-in-law cried angrily: "You usually don't care, but what can you do now?" The older the son is, the older he is and the more difficult it is to control him when his grandparents are "protecting him." . My husband also said: "Why don't you find a job that is not too busy?" I am very conflicted. Family and career are like two ends of the scale. I really don't know where to add weight...

Battlings

The understanding of a good wife and loving mother cannot be changed just because of the changes of the times. As a mother, you should take good care of your children; as a wife, you have the responsibility to take care of the family together with your husband.

——Xiao Li, 23 years old

My understanding of a new good wife and mother is that while being a good wife and mother, she should also have her own independent space and freedom.

——Yanzi is 32 years old

The new type of good wife and mother is definitely not a housewife who only cares about her husband and raises her children. She should first have a career and economic foundation that matches the times. Because this determines her worldview, values ??and mental outlook; she also needs to be able to work in the hall and in the kitchen; she can support her husband, teach her children, and progress and develop with them. She should not be the kind of person who hides behind a successful man. The mother behind a woman or her children.

——Chen Huinv, 30 years old

I think a good wife and mother must first know how to care about herself and dress herself up seriously. When going out with your husband, you should be generous and decent, and be able to show your feminine charm.

——Wenwen, 24 years old

Expert opinion

I don’t quite agree with the title of a good wife and mother. In different environments, different developments Under different needs, different life pressures, and different personalities and hobbies, women and men have multiple choices for their relationships and lifestyles. Why can only the role of "wife and mother" reflect the value of women? And who will judge the standard of "virtuous and good"? To what extent is one called virtuous? What is good? Do men have the final say, or do women have the final say? Zhang Na in the first story is already virtuous and kind enough, so why does she still have such high demands on herself? In story two, Enri has to give up her job if she wants to be a good wife and mother. A woman is doing a pendulum movement between her career and being a good wife and mother, burning a candle at both ends. How can she be happy?

1. There is a corresponding "virtuous husband and good father". Otherwise, if we eat, live and work together, a wife will be virtuous, a mother will be good, and a husband and father will be able to do whatever they want. Is it up to oneself to be virtuous or foolish? A new balanced relationship without sacrifice and tolerance means sharing housework. If a woman can't take a big step forward, ask the man to take a small step back. Women should take care of their husbands and teach their children, and men should also "take care of their wives and teach their children."

2. Women’s housework is regarded as part of social labor. Women's housework is considered to be of the same nature as working outside the home, and they enjoy the same social benefits and security. Even if the marriage dissolves or the woman is widowed, she can still receive monetary compensation paid by her husband or society. A woman cannot be allowed to worry while being a good wife and mother.

3. Socialization of housework. Incorporate housework that was originally performed by women, such as cooking, cleaning, childcare, and elderly care into the scope of social division of labor, freeing women from heavy housework. Wu Xiaoli, Xiao S and others used their strong economy to purchase the labor of others, and housework was socialized in advance. Therefore, you can not worry about food and clothing, do not worry about rice, do not do housework, and have a nanny for childcare. Only in this way can you become a star and a good wife. Women without financial backing can only sacrifice the interests of other women and let their mothers or mothers-in-law do part of the labor for them, but even this is difficult to become a good wife and mother.

――Fu Ning

(Fu Ning: Ph.D., currently a researcher at the "Media and Women Research Center" of Communication University of China.)

(China Mobile Weekly )