Humorous conversation

Humorous speech, many people are under great pressure now, and there are few smiles on their faces, but they should smile more at ordinary times. Smiling can save our unhappiness, too much unhappiness and too much happiness. Why are you unhappy? Now I will share a humorous conversation with you.

Humorous talk 1. First, don't call yourself single dog. This dog died at your age.

Second, now go out and pay by mobile phone. I feel ashamed to bring money, but I am embarrassed to take it out!

Third, full of wisdom, abruptly propped up my face.

My idea is simple. I want to earn more money and find someone who loves me because of my money, instead of simply liking my kindness, integrity and beauty.

I was really happy when I was a child. Nobody cares that you are poor, and you don't know that you are ugly. You have no money and no partner, but you are still happy every day.

6. Today, my boyfriend suspected that I was cheating and I scolded him face to face. I said that my other boyfriends didn't suspect me of cheating, so why do you have so many things!

Seven, sometimes, others are cold to you, maybe it's not your problem, maybe people just don't like ugly people.

Eight, I feel that I am about to fall in love, and I don't know who I am. I will be happy for him first.

Nine, the piano, chess, calligraphy and painting are not good, and washing and cooking are too tired.

Ten, the vast sea of people, my heart is broken for you. You don't seem to care, but it hurts me. Your indifference makes me afraid to confess, but I can't extricate myself. You stepped on my foot!

Eleven, martial arts is high, but also afraid of kitchen knives; No matter how good the intelligence is, a brick will fall; Go your own way and let others take a taxi! Wear other people's shoes and let others find them!

Twelve, there was a sloppy anorectal doctor who wrote on the medical record after seeing the patient: anal speech. After reading it, the chief doctor angrily wrote on the medical record: Bullshit!

Thirteen, people who love to laugh are not too bad luck. To tell the truth, if a person is unlucky, I don't know how he can laugh.

Fourteen, now you must look at the object carefully, because there are too many people who are not men and women now!

Fifteen, Xiaoming's biggest goal in this life is to buy things regardless of the price. After years of hard work, he finally went blind.

Sixteen, God lacked a mobile phone, and Jobs went; God lacked bodyguards, so Bruce Lee went; God lacked singers, so Leslie Cheung went; God, are you short of a class teacher?

Seventeen, when my exam results go up, I must walk sideways.

At the age of eighteen, I have been much more energetic since I got mental derangement.

Nineteen, first learn not to be angry, and then learn to make people angry.

Be nice to yourself. Don't blame yourself if you can blame your boyfriend.

Twenty-one, when you are in a bad mood, you will sing in the toilet.

Twenty-two, I went out in the morning and saw an uncle fall. I went over and asked, grandpa, my salary is 2500 a month. Can I help you up? Grandpa looked at me and moved to one side. "Come, son, come and lie next to grandpa."

On 23rd, one day, A Dai secretly played with his mobile phone in class, and was just found by the head teacher who was patrolling outside the classroom. The head teacher sent a message to A Dai on his mobile phone: "Why don't you listen carefully?" A Dai replied doubtfully, "Who are you?" Head teacher: "Look out of the window." When A Dai saw it, he secretly replied, "Thank you for reminding me. I'll talk to you later. Our class teacher is staring at me outside the window. "

Twenty-four, before a man gets married, he always feels that there are fewer women who are suitable for him. It was not until after marriage that he realized that there were many women suitable for him, but his wife was not suitable!

25. Love is like jumping off a building. The brain says it's not a good idea, but the heart says you can fly.

Twenty-six, in the past, horses and chariots were slow, letters were far away, and I could only love one person in my life; Now the internet is very fast, and there are many husbands. Anyway, there is no boyfriend.

In order not to shed tears when cutting onions, I cut with my eyes closed. But when I cut my hand, I cried.

Humorous talk 2 1. It doesn't matter if you drop your phone so many times. Think about it. My height saved it.

Second, the class time is like a Fu Nan battery, one section is longer than six.

Dreaming that my boyfriend died, I cried. When I woke up, I found that I didn't have a boyfriend at all and cried even more.

Fourth, the height of this thing, everyone is more than one meter, what is there to ask?

Please be sure to return the heavy rain you missed in those years during military training.

Sixth, it is best to show love at noon, because sooner or later there will be retribution.

Seven or ten years ago, primary school students ate spicy strips and college students drank coffee. Ten years later, primary school students eat Haagen-Dazs and college students eat spicy strips. that this is not the important question. The point is who ate the spicy strips or those people.

Someone told me that nothing is more complicated than love. I threw a math book in his face.

Nine, Shenzhouxing, I think it is ok! I won't pay to see if you can do it!

Ten, I'm going to get a haircut. I twisted my neck with bangs.

Eleven, I left gently, just as I came gently. I waved my sleeve and took away only a bundle of cabbage.

After a year of hard work, I finally got the position of manager. I still remember that the manager said to me earnestly, "You can take this broken chair and I'll exchange it for a new one."

Thirteen, although Xueba's achievements stunned me, the speed at which I handed in my thesis absolutely stunned Xueba.

Fourteen. On a sunny weekend, you sit quietly in a coffee shop and read your favorite book. Suddenly, a magnetic male voice interrupted your thoughts: "Are you alone?" Looking up, a handsome guy's heartbeat is out of rhythm, and you pretend to be calm: "Well, alone." After hearing this, the handsome boy looked at you more tenderly: "Can you sit alone, me and my girlfriend?"

Fifteen, I wanted to take this exam to turn over salted fish, but I didn't expect to stick to the pot.

Sixteen, foreign parents educate their children like this: homework is not done well! I will send you to school in China!

Seventeen, once the sea was difficult for water, fish-flavored chicken legs and shredded pork.

The weather is very good today. I wonder if something will fall.

Nineteen, some people say that I am too lazy to cramp, in fact, I am too lazy to cramp.

When my daughter-in-law and I had a fierce argument, I thought, why should a big man be as knowledgeable as a woman? Not to mention his own daughter-in-law At that time, I apologized to my daughter-in-law, who was very happy. After apologizing, her brother also put down the knife, her brother's shovel, her sister's hand pulling my hair, the rolling pin in her hand, and the old father-in-law threw away the brick.

When I was a child, I often thought: Is it better to go to Tsinghua when I grow up? Is it better to go to Peking University? When I grew up, I found out: I think too much!

Be modest, listen to other people's opinions, and then carefully write down who has a problem with you.

Twenty-three, I think, I have always had a lovely primary school bully in my body, so I must brush the questions. However, recently I found it starved to death. ...

If you are well, it will be sunny. According to this weather, you should be dead.

Twenty-five, the three sentences that touched me the most: I brought you delicious food, I invited you to eat delicious food, and I took you to eat delicious food!

Twenty-six, the sky has not fallen on my head, so why bother, worry, and starve!

27. Some people are good at geography, physics, history, mathematics, Chinese, English and chemistry. And I have a good attitude.

28. If I look listless, I may be tired, I may be sick, and most likely, I am hungry!

Twenty-nine, if goodbye can't be red-eyed, can I paint your face red?

30. Look at the teacher silently in every math class. I don't understand anyway. Just be happy.

The 3 1. browser really cares if it is the default browser.

32. I think I'm not absent-minded in class now, but on a business trip directly.

Thirty-three, there are always a few friends who are very gentle when they first met. After a few days, they don't know which hospital they were released from.

Thirty-four, a girl came to the class. She introduced herself: I may not be the smartest, I may not be the most beautiful, I may not be the best, I may not be the most humorous ... Just as all the classmates praised her modesty, she suddenly said: Hello, my name is Wei.

I looked at the sky and longed for a piece of pie, but after waiting for a long time, a lump of bird droppings came.

Never argue with the same fool, because in the end, you will never know who is a fool.

"I like you" is a bit heavy, so I'll put it here first. Please hold it for me.

Thirty-eight, rich and have the face to call the male god; Rich and ashamed to call her husband, ashamed and ashamed to call her Lan Yan. As for those who have no money and no face, I'm sorry you are a good man ... What a painful consciousness!

Thirty-nine, although I don't know what the math teacher said in class, I feel very powerful.

Forty, ask yourself how poor you can be, just like a dollar of steel is hard to find.

Forty-one, every time I do a math problem, I always write a "solution" first, and then, there is no more. ...

Forty-two, I've always wanted to know: can walnuts caught in the door still make up the brain?

43. The most terrible thing in the world is not dreaming that you fell asleep in the examination room, but that you did fall asleep in the examination room after waking up.

Forty-four, I once passed by a man, sparking and almost moving a brick.

45. What is happiness? Happiness is waking up every morning to look at your watch, but you can still sleep for half an hour.

46. With your understanding, you may not understand what I explained, so you can continue to slim down.

Forty-seven, you have the big body of a bear, but you work in Xiong Er.

Forty-eight, there is a saying in the northeast that "you are embarrassed", and the northeast also gives a very awesome answer "I am embarrassed."

Forty-nine, all bad emotions come from exams, gaining weight, not having a partner, and lack of money.

50. My daily state is quite regular. Don't wake up in the morning, don't wake up in the afternoon, fight chicken blood at night, and regret at midnight.