Full analysis of forgetting love: advantages and disadvantages of falling in love with uncle and matters needing attention (dry goods long article)

First of all, I personally have no positive or negative attitude towards finding an uncle. Existence makes sense. Besides, things with such complicated feelings. Everyone has different personalities, different growth environments, different experiences and different preferences. You don't have to make irresponsible remarks when others like what you don't like. Even if you like the big bad guys recognized all over the world, others should not be cynical. Some people like their uncles, while others like to draw themselves with a blank sheet of paper. Radish and cabbage have their own tastes.

Moreover, many seemingly simple emotional problems actually have a certain physiological and material basis. I think about it roughly, and at least think of the following two points:

1, the physical and psychological development of women is generally several years earlier than that of men.

2. From the perspective of biological evolution, women spend much more time and energy on fertility than men. Therefore, when choosing a partner, women pay more attention to whether the other person can give themselves and their children enough sense of security, which includes: mental maturity, emotional stability, material abundance and so on. Relatively speaking, older men are superior to young people in these aspects.

First, who is uncle?

The popularity of Korean dramas has made people familiar with the name "Uncle". What kind of man is uncle? There is the following statement:

1, just look at the age, even if you are over 30.

2, not just the age, even if you have the charm of a mature man, even if you are not yet 30 years old.

3. Take the object in speech context as the reference object, and the age is older than the reference object 10 years. For example, "A married an uncle". In this sentence, A is the reference, and the uncle should be 18 years older than A. If A is only 18 years old, the so-called uncle may be only 28 years old.

A mature man with temperament, taste, accomplishment, connotation, ability, career, money, proper maintenance and good looks is called "uncle", otherwise it is called "grandfather" or "uncle". This is similar to what middle-aged women are called now. Those with attractive values are called "mature women", otherwise they are called "aunts".

All the above statements make sense. Different people and different scenes have different meanings for the word "uncle". But I can only write in the general sense that most people think.

In my opinion, the reason why uncles are so easily loved by women of all ages is not the age figures, but the masculinity they have to attract women. And those masculinity are more likely to appear on men of uncle's age.

So I personally think that uncle should refer to a group, not a certain age group. There are also young people with the temperament of "uncle". Middle-aged people also have children who grow up all their lives. I don't think any so-called "uncle" can control the middle-aged people who are not growing up.

Second, the benefits of falling in love with uncle

I once asked a girl who was going to marry her uncle, why did she choose someone so old? I know that she is not "seeking money" as the secular thought, because she has enough money in her own family and good conditions in pursuing boys of her age. Her answer is simple: "He is a boyfriend, a teacher, even like his father, isn't it?"

Her words reminded me of a case I read somewhere:

From examples to theories, what attracts women? I summarize as follows:

1, mature temperament accumulated over the years.

Including: social experience, life experience, emotional experience, intellectual knowledge, vision, calm and steady, reliable, calm and calm, elegant and humorous, tolerant and modest, accurate judgment, rational and comprehensive view of problems, knowing how to get along with people, how to get along with the real world, can help you get rid of mental confusion and confusion, so that you feel worshipped.

2. Learn more about women.

Including: more respect for women's personality, understanding your childishness, tolerating your willfulness, emotional stability, conflict resolution skills, gentleness, tenderness, safety, chatting, hurting people and being considerate.

I have seen and experienced a lot, and my uncle has learned to be tolerant and resist nothing, as long as he doesn't touch his bottom line. Even if you hit him, he accepted it silently. You thought he was resigned to his fate, but later you realized that your fist, like a stone thrown into the sea, could arouse many ripples.

No one likes his boyfriend to be washed away because of a little thing. Everyone likes to be spoiled by his own man, even spoiled. The word spoil seems to be more suitable for two people with a big age difference.

3. Superior external resources.

Including: having certain achievements or status in the professional field, having economic strength and high quality of life, so that you don't have to feel pressure for daily necessities.

4. It can guide you to grow rapidly.

Uncle is also a mentor. Like a teacher, he can guide you on the road of life and give you useful advice and guidance on life and work emotions. It often gives you the wonderful feeling that "it is better to study for ten years than to listen to you".

Strangely, when your uncle is serious and reasonable, you become particularly modest. If you change your old boyfriend, you will scold him in turn. All right. Everything has its vanquisher. Maybe age has its own aura?

There is a kind of love, closer to the soul level. It is not only concerned about life, feelings, but also about your inner growth. It takes ability to provide such deep love.

This ability is very difficult for a young man who is not mature enough. You can only find it in old people. Therefore, if you fall in love with your uncle, you have a better chance to grow up spiritually.

Quote a passage from Li Yue, and you will understand what I mean above:

It is precisely because of the above that many people ridicule: "Finding a good uncle can save 20 years of struggle." ?

In fact, which woman doesn't like a man with the above advantages? It has nothing to do with being an uncle. If young people also have these, of course, it is better. It's a pity that some things must have been carved by time and can't be faked.

Therefore, what most women are looking for has nothing to do with age, nor is it simply money and power, but the connotation, temperament, ability and strength cultivated over the years!

Third, the disadvantages of falling in love with uncle

When it comes to the age gap, most people will think of the generation gap. Indeed, in different stages of life, different growth years, there are inevitably differences in world outlook, outlook on life and life details. But I don't think this is the biggest problem. After all, even peers will have similar differences. In my opinion, the biggest trouble in falling in love with my uncle comes from the following aspects:

1. In uncle's world, you, or love, will never rank first, let alone be the only one.

This is probably the biggest difference between uncle's love and young people's love. Although not all young people love themselves, it is a fact that "life is precious and love is more expensive".

But this does not mean that uncle's love is not sincere. It's just past experience, observation and thinking about the world that make them prefer to love naturally, while uncles who have suffered various pressures enjoy that kind of relaxed and trickle-like love.

To put it bluntly, love is just a seasoning for uncle. If a flavoring agent is too troublesome, it can be replaced at any time, or even no flavoring agent is needed at all.

Uncle knows exactly what he wants in a relationship and what he can give to each other. Giving and getting beyond the scope of the plan will make you less willing.

2, uncle's love, the concentration is not high.

The first one mentioned above is cause, and this one is effect. Uncle's energy and time allocated to love are very limited, plus hormone secretion and physical strength are not as strong as when you were a child. If you are still full of blood, you will feel that he can't meet your expectations.

Uncle doesn't have much time to spend with you. It is normal for him not to contact for a few days when he is busy. Don't expect him to sweet talk every morning, good night, and don't expect him to do anything stupid to please you. He prefers to "keep love in his heart". His "keeping love in his heart" sometimes makes you doubt whether he loves it or not. How much love?

Although, after you have experienced the passionate teenager's vows of eternal love, you have long understood that saying it does not mean feeling safe, and torn vows can be seen everywhere. But women like sweet talk, which will never change. The emotional value that uncle can provide in this respect is not so satisfactory.

I think it is appropriate to put-Zhang's words in "The World Has Nothing to Do with You":

3, falling in love with uncle, easy to feel inferior.

In a woman's love, there needs to be hope. The stronger this demand is, the easier it is to fall in love with uncle. But looking up will also bring sequela, and the Excellence of the other party will easily make you see your own gap and then feel inferior. Therefore, a person with self-worth requirements needs to have a certain psychological quality when he falls in love with his uncle.

But as long as this relationship is healthy and positive, your inferiority will be transformed into a driving force for growth. Perhaps you have been lazy and willful, pursuing nothing, because you fell in love with your uncle and longed to be an excellent person for the first time. You will strive to improve yourself, hoping that you can be worthy of him, not just relying on him.

Plus, uncle sometimes criticizes you like a child, even very severely. At some point, your self-esteem will be shattered. Fortunately, when you are wronged and cry like a child, he will soon realize his "excessive speech" and apologize to you sincerely at once. When you recall what he said, you will be convinced.

You are not in uncle's precious memory.

You may be uncle's last lover, but you are unlikely to be his most unforgettable one, no matter how much you love each other. It is not that you are not good enough, nor that he is not loving enough. This is the law of human nature.

Uncle became an uncle because he has experienced so much. He used to be a young boy. The first time he saw a girl, the first time he held hands, the first time he hugged and kissed, there was a thrill ... and the woman who accompanied him through these things. Whether they finally get together or not, this woman will be an irreplaceable one in his memory.

Maybe he has more than one memory. When you think about this, you will be a little pantothenic, but you can't help it. There is no other way but to accept. You want to be the one cherished by men, don't you?

Since you choose the "finished product" and enjoy the "finished product", you can only give up the right to participate in the molding process automatically. This is fair.

5. The difference between physical and physical strength of uncle is old.

The average life expectancy of women is longer than that of men. If the husband is much older than his wife, it will aggravate the problem of life gap. You may have to be prepared to die alone. Maybe one day, when your uncle is old and weak, he can no longer take care of you and satisfy you. On the contrary, he needs you to serve him before he dies. Including the future, he will enter old age earlier than you, and whether his sexual life is harmonious or not, these are extremely realistic issues that need you to think ahead of time.

Fourth, matters needing attention in falling in love with uncle

Know yourself and know yourself, and you will win every battle. Although love is not a battle, it is beneficial and harmless to know each other as much as possible. Prepare for the pros and cons of choosing an uncle in advance, so as not to get into a relationship and find that it is not what you want at all. After reading the previous analysis, if you still choose Uncle, please read on. In your love with uncle, you should pay attention to the following points:

1, pay attention to psychological construction, and trust this relationship with confidence.

Uncle usually reads countless people, especially those with successful careers or rich families. There is no shortage of women around him, which will definitely make you feel threatened. In addition to easy to feel inferior, you will also find some clues and make random suspicions. A proper sense of crisis is the driving force to improve yourself. But if you are a particularly insecure person, this sense of crisis will make you lose yourself. You can't help imitating your imaginary enemy. You want to pretend to be what you think he likes, and you forget that he likes the original you.

Always remind yourself: be yourself, be yourself. There are many women in the world who are more beautiful and better than you, but he likes you because you are you. Your appearance and characteristics are just right, and all your characteristics, taken together, are exactly what he likes, no more or less. Have confidence in yourself, and also have confidence in him.

2. Have your own world, especially a rich spiritual world.

For example, I have my own spiritual world, my own job, my own hobbies and my own social activities. Little girls who are too clingy are not suitable for uncles, and it is difficult to last long after the novelty. No matter how much a man longs for a young body, sooner or later he will become a "left hand touching his right hand", and no one wants to find a child to coax him.

Please remember: a long-term and stable relationship depends on the internal attraction and emotional mutual needs of both parties. The singing of the heart and the pleasure of deep communication will make you irreplaceable. Therefore, on the road of self-growth, we can never stop.

3. Give up the attempt to "reform" uncle.

Whether you accept it or not, the man you fell in love with can become him now, which is the result of all his experiences in previous decades. In those decades, you didn't exist. Don't expect him to know you today, so he can easily change some inherent habits or thinking. He is willing to try to change, which is a surprise. If he doesn't want to, you should accept it frankly. You know, he is not a blank sheet of paper.

4. Be a person full of positive energy and mature mind.

How many uncles have had emotional experiences and even experienced profound pain. They no longer have the energy and mood to taste the ups and downs of love again. They want a quiet love that they can get along with.

This doesn't mean depriving you of the right to play with a small temper, but you should also have the ability to do it. Whether quarreling or making demands, be simple, speak frankly, don't beat around the bush, don't play tricks, have a better attitude, and don't expect your uncle to kneel for mercy like a young man or even hurt himself to show his loyalty.

In fact, the above precautions apply to any relationship, but they are particularly important for the characteristics of uncles.

Finally, I want to remind you:

This paper discusses the high-quality uncle with good character, high-quality uncle, single, rare, and bachelor is bound to be popular. Therefore, before you fall in love with your uncle, you must find out the marital status of the other person and don't be a mistress! Don't be a mistress! Don't be a mistress! Say the important things three times.

As for some individuals who plot to cheat guns and play with their feelings as uncles, it is beyond the scope of this article. Please polish your eyes, too Still a married uncle, no matter how glamorous you are, you can't touch it. No matter how miserable his wife is, it is not the reason for him to be a mistress. If he really loves you, he will naturally give you marriage. Note that it is a promise, not a verbal promise. Don't think that true love can surpass everything, and few mistresses can win happiness in the end. Why drag yourself into that endless entanglement?

Well, at this point, do you prefer small fresh meat or old bacon? No matter how you choose, in the matter of love, I hope you can adhere to a principle: follow your heart, follow fate, and let go of love.

I wish you all a safe journey on the road of love.