There is a kind of respect called criticism - be grateful to the person who has dealt with you

Article | Dark Fragrance and Clear Shadow

When I was young, I hated criticism and avoided it. As I got older, I realized that it was the warmest fire in my heart and the most poetic. of the past.

01

Every time Xiao Yu is mentioned, the teachers in the department shake their heads like rattles: She is always absent-minded in class, sometimes picking her nose and fingernails, sometimes looking away Looking at the scenery outside the window, she sometimes flipped her hair and pulled at the lapel of her clothes that she didn't want to button up even in the winter... Xiaoyu's grades were very unsatisfactory and she had a lot of problems. Even so, few teachers criticized her.

One reason is that she suffers from a "suffering from a stubborn disease" and the old problem persists even after being told several times. The speaker is asking for trouble and loses patience, so she naturally changes her focus.

Secondly, because this girl is not "easy to mess with", she will criticize anyone who criticizes her. There was a lot of people in the hall, and the teachers couldn't afford to lose face, so naturally no one said anything about her.

In three cases, teachers and students fought each other, jumped off the building due to disputes, and other incidents frequently occurred. In order to protect themselves, the teachers were cautious in their education. No one wanted to cause trouble for themselves.

Parents don’t care, but teachers dare not! As a result, Xiaoyu became more and more eager to grow up. With high heels, shawl hair, and lipstick, a 15-year-old girl looked like an adult woman.

Until one day, Xiao Yu met the first "rival" in her life - the newly appointed teacher A Xing.

When a new official takes office, there are three things to burn, and the first one is Xiaoyu. The shawl and hair must be tied into a ponytail, the long red nails must be cut off, the high heels must be thrown away and replaced with sneakers, the zipper of the top that shows off the chest must be zipped up in a disciplined manner, mobile phones are not allowed to be brought to school, and those who are in arrears must All homework must be made up in full!

Xiao Yu shook her shawl long hair, looking very cool, and asked Teacher A Xing indignantly: There are too many things to take care of in the class, why should you hold on to her?

Ah Xing glanced at Xiao Yu fiercely, his eyes bursting with unnegotiable toughness and determination!

If the other party is a sheep, she is a wolf; if the other party is a wolf, she is a sheep. This is absolutely true. Xiaoyu has behaved himself since then and can study with peace of mind.

02

Xiao Yu’s "sudden repentance" was due to two stories told to her by Teacher A Xing:

"Xue Yi" recorded the game of Go The master Yi Qiu taught two disciples to play chess: one was concentrating on thinking carefully; the other was thinking absent-mindedly about how to shoot down the swan with a bow and arrow. As expected, the latter was not as good as the former, so Yi Qiu realized that only by concentrating on learning can he succeed.

Teacher A Xing asked Xiao Yu: Do you want to be that person who "want to shoot swans all day long", who spends his youth but achieves nothing, barely survives until he graduates from junior high school, or gnaws on old age, or struggles at the bottom of society all his life? Entering society at a young age and wandering around the world early?

Xiao Yu burst into tears: Ever since she was a child, no one has ever really criticized herself severely. Even if they pick their noses, eat and read extracurricular books in class, and try their best to attract the teacher's attention and concern, all they can see in their eyes is contempt and contempt.

Teacher A Xing’s second story is:

Mozi’s class during the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period. When Mozi was teaching his disciples, his disciples all turned their attention to a flying bird outside and did not listen to what Mozi said at all. And Mozi, even though he was angry, only pointed the finger at this student named Geng Zhuzhu.

At that time, Mozi looked angry and scolded Zhuzhu sharply. Geng Zhuzi retorted innocently: "Teacher, why do you scold me? Am I worse than others?"

A Xing asked Xiaoyu: Why do you think Mozi criticized Geng Zhuzi?

Xiao Yu shook her head: I can’t figure out why there are several classmates who are more “criminal” than me, so they just give me a “death order”?

Teacher A Xing smiled but did not answer.

Mozi asked Geng Zhuzhu: "If I were to go up to the Taihang Mountains and drive with a horse or a sheep, would you whip the horse or the sheep?"

Geng Zhuzhu answered without hesitation. He said: "Of course it is to whip the horse! Because the horse runs fast, it deserves to be whipped, but the sheep does not have this ability, so it will not be whipped."

Mozi smiled and said: "The reason why I only scold you is because I think you are more like a horse than a sheep. You are more worthy of the teacher's encouragement and criticism!" ”

Only then did Geng Zhuzi suddenly realize that he understood the teacher’s intentions, and from then on he became more open-minded about learning and accepting criticism from others.

After listening to this, Xiaoyu’s eyes shone with gratitude. .

After class, she wrote a note to Teacher Ah Xing: In the past, I was a piece of plasticine that was made colorful by a bunch of friends. From now on, this piece of plasticine will be given to Ah Xing. Teacher Xing, thank you for your consideration and not treating me as a terminally ill person who cannot be cured.

This year, Xiaoyu, who was not favored by the teachers in the department, experienced two teacher Xings. After being severely criticized, he changed his mind and was admitted to the County No. 1 Middle School for the first time.

03

In life, praise and encouragement may be gifts that many people love and cannot resist. But criticism is not the case.

Sometimes, criticism makes us feel that we have lost face;

Sometimes, criticism hurts our poor self-esteem.

Yes. Sometimes, criticism makes us feel not only offended but also heartbroken.

Sometimes, we mistake other people’s criticism as retaliation; Beside the wind, ignore it, listen and forget;

Sometimes, I misinterpret other people’s criticism as finding trouble, which makes me difficult to get along with.

Because of criticism, it is not bright and beautiful. Appearance, soft and smooth texture. Just like a traditional Chinese medicine, I know it has good curative effects, but I don't like its bitter taste; like a bouquet of roses, I like its red and auspicious flowers, but I can't stand the sharp thorns on the stems. /p>

Some criticism is the expectation hidden in torture. As Emerson said: "Every torture or setback hides the seeds of success." ”

Criticizing you means respecting you, because I have expectations for you and you can still be saved. If you don’t want to be useful, you will grow into a dead tree that cannot be carved!

Accept it calmly Criticism is a broad-minded and open-minded attitude.

Wei Zheng, the famous Prime Minister of the Tang Dynasty, publicly criticized Tang Taizong Li Shimin many times in court. However, looking back, who else besides Wei Zheng would be willing to risk angering Long Yan by criticizing himself and correcting his own policies for governing the country and bringing peace to the people? After Wei Zheng's death, Emperor Taizong cried in grief:

“If you use copper as a mirror, you can straighten your clothes; if you use ancient times as a mirror, you can know the ups and downs; if you use people as a mirror, you can know gains and losses. I always keep these three mirrors to prevent myself from making mistakes. Today, Wei Zheng passed away, and then one mirror died! ”

There is also such a post on Zhihu: What kind of person do you hate the most?

The most popular answer is: I hate those people around me who always criticize me. But the following has the most likes The comment is actually, you are stupid. Someone criticizes you, which proves that there are still people who really care about you.

Really, more often than not, criticism is a reminder or even a warning from people who care about you. . To prevent our lives from slipping into a miserable situation; to prevent us from living in panic in the future; to prevent the road ahead from deviating from the direction.

Unfortunately, many people are not as smart and sensible as Xiao Yu. As wise and generous as Emperor Taizong of the Tang Dynasty, his ears have been spoiled by flattery and praise, and he cannot see any criticism or hear any "offensive" words.

Looking back, the people who criticize me the most, apart from my teachers, are my parents. . They are the ones who really stand side by side with the children.

When they were young, they hated criticism and avoided it. As they got older, they felt that it was the warmest fire in their hearts and the most poetic.

Along the way, I would like to thank those relatives, teachers, classmates, friends, and colleagues who have criticized me and allowed me to see myself and the surrounding environment clearly in a timely manner without stopping. , going round and round, but moving forward towards better things