Lack of self-worth

Self-worth is the foundation of everyone's life, and it is also one of the important factors that determine whether our life is happy or not. The lack of self-worth will bring a lot of influence to our lives and make us fall into negative emotions for a long time.

When the sense of self-worth is insufficient, we will deny ourselves, fail to see our own strengths, and even fail to find the meaning of living. This shows that we are internally deficient, so the internal deficiency will want to be supplemented externally, resulting in excessive social and emotional needs.

We not only want to make friends, but also be careful when dealing with people. We habitually interpret other people's words as directed at ourselves and think that others are mocking and humiliating, so it is difficult to appreciate the fun of social interaction and feel the pressure in interpersonal communication. Therefore, when we subconsciously escape, our inner desires conflict with the practical difficulties, and the pain is inevitable.

People who lack a sense of self-worth tend to have the idea of "unworthy of being loved" in intimate relationships, which is often a potential cognition. Driven by this cognition, they will be overly suspicious and tempted, which will lead to contradictions between the two sides and eventually lead to separation.

Control is also a common manifestation of low self-worth, which can be roughly divided into "hard control" and "soft control" in behavior. Hard-core people usually ask their partners to obey themselves. If the other party doesn't "obey", they will force each other by shouting, beating and cursing. It is hard for them to believe that their partner is loyal, so they will try to keep their partner for themselves through extreme means such as monitoring and tracking.

Soft control is often manifested as pleasing, that is, suppressing one's true feelings and obeying one's partner, thus enhancing one's self-worth and making the other person inseparable from oneself.

We have a strong desire for control because we are too dependent on others. When we have a good partner, we hope to treat him as our own forever. The less you want to lose, the more you are afraid of losing, and the more you have to control it.

Behind the excessive dependence is the inability to be complacent about our own needs, and our happiness often comes from those who can meet their own needs, can't see their own value, and it is hard to believe that they have the ability to meet themselves. So they pin their happiness on others and rely too much on people who can meet their own needs.

In addition to interpersonal relationships and intimate relationships, when our sense of self-worth is low, many relationships around us will have problems. The frustration of self-denial makes us pessimistic and blame ourselves when we encounter problems in life and work, and it is difficult to concentrate on how to solve them. The more so, the more we can't overcome the difficulties, the more depressed we will be and the lower our sense of self-worth.

Lack of inner love is the core of low self-worth, and it is difficult for people who can't care for themselves to care for others. The feeling of happiness is internal, and it is difficult to make up for it by external means. No matter how much the outside world gives, it is only a flash in the pan.

Excessive demand for others' love due to their own inherent defects will only make the relationship worse and worse. Unconditional care can only be given by yourself. Other interpersonal relationships are mutual and need to be managed and paid with care. Only those who love themselves will love others. This kind of love is not selfish, but someone who is responsible for himself, really cares about himself and has the ability to care about himself will know how to take care of others' feelings. Therefore, if you want to love others, you must first learn to love yourself.