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Classic funny love quotations before and after marriage
Now when it comes to marriage, I think, "How long can it last?"
I will get married at first, saying it is "fancy";
Later, I got divorced and said it was a "mistake".
Before marriage, love is a myth;
After marriage, love is a joke.
Men spend money to make women happy;
Women spend money because men make her unhappy.
To marry into a "rich family", you must know how to manage money;
If you marry into a poor family, you must know how to make money.
In the past, people regarded married life as "a lifetime";
Modern people regard married life as "a period of time".
Before marriage, men wait for women in restaurants;
After marriage, women wait for men in the living room.
Before marriage, men often chat with women.
After marriage, men only tell women the conclusion.
Before marriage, the man whispered to her;
After the marriage, the man spoke loudly to her.
When you are in love, love words are endless;
After marriage, I lied again and again.
Men in love like "all hands and feet";
After marriage, men become "without hands and feet."
Before marriage, what couples do is "romance";
After marriage, everything husband and wife do is "waste".
Marriage is for independence;
If you want a divorce, your children can be independent.
Most men before marriage are humorous.
Married men are mostly reticent.
Women have the best memory when they quarrel;
A man's patience is the worst after marriage.
When you are in love, "kiss" as soon as you meet;
"bicker" as soon as they meet after marriage.
Before marriage, men often give women "blank checks";
After marriage, men often write "empty checks" to women.
When you are in love, life is "wonderful";
Married life is "miserable"
Before marriage, men stare at women every day;
Women stare at men every day after marriage.
When you are in love, you always promise to get married again in your next life;
After I got married, I often wondered if I had done evil in my last life.
Great people will "call the king a blessing";
A good man can be a cow or a horse.
Before marriage, "lies" are "love stories";
"Love words" after marriage are all "nonsense".
Before marriage, get closer;
Get out of the way after marriage.
Before marriage, there is nothing to talk about;
Don't say anything after marriage.
Definition of "success":
The definition of a man means that he can earn a lot of money;
The definition of a woman is that she can spend a lot of money.
It is said that men become bad when they have money;
What about women? If it is broken, it will be rich!
Men and women, clean ears;
Women have no men, and their homes are clean.
When a man "goes into the wrong line", it will be very painful to go to work;
When a woman marries the wrong person, it will be very painful to get off work.
Good women spoil men's appetite;
Bad women keep men's appetite.
Before marriage, men are like messengers;
After marriage, men are like commanders.
Finally, summarize the demonstration: lovelorn is not necessarily the end of the world!
Maybe your heart will "cry blood", but your wallet will never "bleed" again.
Classic quotations comparing the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law before marriage and after marriage
Before marriage: be a good person, and be filial to your parents after marriage: Filial piety is not something I can change, but parents think that if you do nothing, you are filial to you, and it is useless to do anything without filial piety.
Before marriage: As long as you are smart and filial, you can please your in-laws and be happy and healthy.
After marriage: cleverness sometimes backfires, because it is human nature to ride more thin horses. Keeping your distance is called self-defense. Otherwise, simplicity and weakness make people see that the words please bully me are written on their heads. Before marriage: if you change your mind and treat people well, people will repay you;
After marriage: people can't change their minds.
Before marriage: it is said that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is difficult. I think I am versatile and should be able to get along well. After marriage: the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is too fucking difficult. Before marriage: can be the daughter of mother-in-law; After marriage: mother-in-law will always be mother-in-law, and mother will always be mother and son;
Before marriage: if you have children, let them grow up healthily and happily, and don't give them too much burden.
After marriage: the early bird catches the worm, and it is not enough for children to play. Before marriage: although I don't like children, I will automatically have maternal love after giving birth. After marriage: Why do you keep crying? I can't stand it ~ someone will help me get it back to the kindergarten.
Before marriage: it is difficult to raise children.
After marriage: how difficult it is to raise children. Before marriage: read more books when you are young and fight for your career; After marriage: I wish I had children earlier. Before marriage: I really want to have a group of children. After marriage: having children? Think about large economies:
Before marriage: What is money? Love comes first.
After marriage: What is love? Giving you money is love, not giving money is love. Before marriage: love comes first, attitude determines everything. After marriage: money comes first, and responsibility decides everything. Before marriage: both my money and my husband's money belong to them.
After marriage: My money is my money, my husband's money is my husband's money and my family's money is my family's money.
Before marriage: the husband can rely on before marriage: the economic foundation determines the marital status before marriage: money is not everything before marriage: no money is absolutely impossible before marriage: moonlight before marriage: planned economy before marriage: spend money for me without frowning.
After marriage: I began to persuade me to shop less in Taobao.
Before marriage: my husband's poverty has nothing to do with me. We can make money slowly without money. After marriage: it's really hard to make money. The hardest thing is that not only can I not count on my husband's family, but they also count on us to support them. Just find a rich family from the beginning.
Before marriage: after marriage, two people go to play and travel everywhere.
After marriage: traveling after marriage is not a fart, but saving money to buy a house and have children is serious. Husband and wife relationship: before marriage: I hope to have my own husband and children and want to be good to them.
After marriage: the child is his own, but the husband is not. So the child should be right, and the husband may be a baiwenhang.
Before marriage: lying together likes to cover the same quilt. After marriage: It's better to cover yourself with a quilt and sleep. Before marriage: 2 1 century what is the most expensive and harmonious! So two people should respect each other, understand each other and accommodate each other.
After marriage: either the east wind overwhelms the west wind or the west wind overwhelms the east wind.
Before marriage: The most important thing between two adults is rational communication. After marriage, communication is an armchair strategist. You can bear it. If you can't bear it, leave before marriage. You can slowly reform your husband's bad habits. After marriage, you will never try to reform him, and the result will only be worse.
Before marriage: My husband loves me the most and cares about me the most.
After marriage: ditto, the subject becomes a pre-marital wife: My husband is very good, and he lets me go when I get angry. After marriage: Why didn't he compromise and apologize to me? Before marriage: He is busy at work, so I can wash dishes several times, as long as he is kind to me.
After marriage: Why do I always wash the dishes?
Before marriage: I'm not afraid of the cold when I sleep in winter, I'm fanned when it's hot in summer, I'm cooked when I'm hungry, and someone will pick me up no matter how late I get off work. After marriage: an electric blanket+an air conditioner+take-out+taxi = solve all problems and relationships;
Before marriage: When you get married, you always have a shoulder to lean on and a partner to face everything together.
After marriage: rely on? Almost ... I've always wondered whether he got married to get a wife or a mother ... Before marriage: love and after marriage: Qian Qian before marriage: trying to be a virtuous and good wife.
After marriage: don't call yourself a metropolis before marriage, otherwise it will be your job in the future and you can't get rid of it.
Before marriage: find a husband who is filial to his mother, and the filial child will be good to his wife. After marriage: Hum! People are good to their mothers, but not necessarily to their wives! A man who doesn't understand filial piety or has Oedipus complex is unacceptable! Before marriage: If you disagree with him, you may get divorced.
After marriage: not bad.
Before marriage: the power of love is infinite, and marriage without love is not feasible. After marriage: love is insignificant for marriage, and a sense of responsibility is the guarantee of a solid marriage. Before marriage: as long as there is him, suffering is sweet! After marriage: I'm so fucking naive! !
Self-growth:
Before marriage: lose weight in love! Lose weight! After marriage: In order to live longer, don't lose weight for no reason, but pay attention to maintenance. Before marriage: I must clean up and get rid of littering. After marriage: Is there any way to hide the sundries so as not to be conspicuous?
Before marriage: I want to learn to cook the most difficult, complicated and gorgeous dishes!
After marriage: How can I make a delicious meal simply and quickly? Before marriage: I don't think family background affects feelings. Marriage: I deeply realized that marriage should be wooden door to wooden door and bamboo to bamboo. Before marriage: I thought marriage was between two people.
After marriage: I found that this is between two families, no, it should be between two families.
Before marriage: My mother is a bit snobbish, everything depends on the conditions. After marriage: How wise my mother wouldn't let me marry this man. Do you sell regret medicine? Love him before marriage. After marriage, love yourself. Before marriage: I want to get married!
After marriage: I want to live alone!
Life before marriage: not good, leave! After marriage: how to go if life is not smooth? Before marriage: it doesn't matter if the mother-in-law is widowed. It is difficult for her to raise her son. We must treat her well. After marriage: the seven aunts and eight aunts in the family are telling the truth and cannot marry. ..
After marriage: When my daughter is looking for a partner, I must see what qualities her parents have! !
Before marriage: be a smart woman.
After marriage: it turns out that stupid women will be happy, even if they are not stupid, they should play dumb.
Ultra-ultra-TM classic female love quotations before and after marriage …
Self-growth:
Before marriage: lose weight in love! Lose weight!
After marriage: In order to live longer, don't lose weight for no reason, but pay attention to maintenance.
Before marriage: I must clean up and get rid of littering.
After marriage: Is there any way to hide the sundries so as not to be conspicuous?
Before marriage: I want to learn to cook the most difficult, complicated and gorgeous dishes!
After marriage: How can I make a delicious meal simply and quickly?
Before marriage: I don't think family background affects feelings.
Marriage: I deeply realized that marriage should be wooden door to wooden door and bamboo to bamboo.
Before marriage: think that marriage is between two people,
After marriage: I found that this is between two families, no, it should be between two families.
Before marriage: mom is a bit snobbish, everything depends on the conditions.
After marriage: How wise my mother wouldn't let me marry this man. Do you have any regret medicine?
Love him before marriage.
After marriage, love yourself.
Before marriage: I want to get married!
After marriage: I want to live alone!
Before marriage: no, leave!
After marriage: how to go if life is not smooth?
Before marriage: it doesn't matter if the mother-in-law is widowed. It is difficult for her to raise her son. Be sure to honor her.
After marriage: the seven aunts and eight aunts in the family are telling the truth, and you can't marry. ..
Before marriage: He will always love me.
After marriage: love is bullshit. If you want to cheat, you can't rely on a good man, but you are safest on your own.
Before marriage: love and drink enough
After marriage: falling in love and getting married are two different things.
Before marriage: his parents don't understand, whatever, not living with them!
After marriage: When my daughter is looking for a partner, I must see what qualities her parents have! !
Before marriage: be a smart woman.
After marriage: it turns out that stupid women will be happy, even if they are not stupid, they should play dumb.
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship:
Before marriage: Be a good person and be filial to me and his parents.
After marriage: filial piety is not something I can change, but parents think that if you do nothing, you are filial to you, and it is useless to do anything without filial piety.
Before marriage: As long as you are smart and filial and can please your in-laws, you will be happy and safe.
After marriage: cleverness sometimes backfires, because it is human nature to ride more thin horses. Keeping your distance is called self-defense. Otherwise, simplicity and weakness make people see the words "please bully me" written on their heads.
Before marriage: if you change your mind and treat people well, people will repay you;
After marriage: people can't change their minds.
Before marriage: it is said that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is difficult. I think I am versatile and should be able to get along well.
After marriage: the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is too fucking difficult.
Before marriage: I can be the daughter of my mother-in-law.
After marriage: mother-in-law will always be mother-in-law, and mother will always be mother.
Children:
Before marriage: if you have children, let them grow up healthily and happily, and don't give them too much burden.
After marriage: the early bird catches the worm, and it is not enough for children to play.
Before marriage: although I don't like children, I will automatically have maternal love after giving birth.
After marriage: Why do you keep crying? I can't stand it ~ someone will help me get it back to the kindergarten.
Before marriage: it is difficult to raise children.
After marriage: how difficult it is to raise children.
Before marriage: read more books when you are young and fight for your career;
After marriage: I wish I had children earlier.
Before marriage: I really want to have a group of children.
After marriage: having children? Think big.
Economy:
Before marriage: What is money? Love comes first.
After marriage: What is love? Giving you money is love, not giving money is love.
Before marriage: love comes first, attitude determines everything.
After marriage: money comes first, and responsibility decides everything.
Before marriage: both my money and my husband's money belong to them.
After marriage: My money is my money, my husband's money is my husband's money and my family's money is my family's money.
Before marriage: the husband can rely on.
After marriage: the economic foundation determines the marital status.
Before marriage: money is not everything.
After marriage: you can't do anything without money.
Before marriage: moonlight clan
After marriage: planned economy
Before marriage: spend money for me without frowning.
After marriage: I began to persuade me to shop less in Taobao.
Before marriage: my husband's poverty has nothing to do with me. We can make money slowly without money.
After marriage: it's really hard to make money. The hardest thing is that not only can I not count on my husband's family, but they also count on us to support them. Just find a rich family from the beginning.
Before marriage: after marriage, two people go to play and travel everywhere.
After marriage: traveling after marriage is not a fart, but saving money to buy a house and have children is serious.
Husband and wife relationship:
Before marriage: I want to have my own husband and children, and I want to be good to them.
After marriage: the child is his own, but the husband is not. So the child should be right, and the husband may be a baiwenhang.
Before marriage: lying together likes to cover the same quilt.
After marriage: cover the quilt and sleep better.
Before marriage: 2 1 century what is the most expensive and harmonious! So two people should respect each other, understand each other and accommodate each other.
After marriage: either the east wind overwhelms the west wind or the west wind overwhelms the east wind.
Before marriage: The most important thing between two adults is rational communication.
After marriage: communication is an armchair strategist. You can bear it. I couldn't bear it anymore, so I broke up.
Before marriage: you can slowly reform your husband's bad habits.
After marriage: never try to reform him, the result will only get worse.
Before marriage: My husband loves me the most and cares about me the most.
After marriage: same as above, the subject becomes a wife.
Before marriage: My husband is so nice that he lets me go when I get angry.
After marriage: Why didn't he compromise and apologize to me?
Before marriage: He is busy at work, so I can wash dishes several times, as long as he is kind to me.
After marriage: Why do I always wash the dishes?
Before marriage: I am not afraid of cold when I sleep in winter, and I am fanned when it is hot in summer and cooked when I am hungry. No matter how late I get off work, someone will pick me up.
After marriage: an electric blanket+an air conditioner+takeaway+taxi = solve all problems.
Emotional relationship:
Before marriage: When you get married, you always have a shoulder to lean on and a partner to face everything together.
After marriage: rely on? Almost .. I've always wondered whether he married for his wife or his mother. ...
Before marriage: falling in love.
After marriage: Before Qian Qian.
Before marriage: Try to be virtuous and be a good wife.
After marriage: don't call yourself a metropolis before marriage, otherwise it will be your job in the future and you can't get rid of it.
Before marriage: find a husband who is filial to his mother, and the filial child will be good to his wife.
After marriage: Hum! People are good to their mothers, but not necessarily to their wives! A man who doesn't understand filial piety or has Oedipus complex is unacceptable!
Before marriage: If you disagree with him, you may get divorced.
After marriage: not bad.
Before marriage: the power of love is infinite, and marriage without love is not feasible.
After marriage: love is insignificant for marriage, and a sense of responsibility is the guarantee of a solid marriage.
Before marriage: as long as there is him, suffering is sweet!
After marriage: I'm so fucking naive! !
It is suitable for middle-aged people to talk about their feelings before and after divorce.
1. I don't know what to do at this time. I can't see your news or hear your voice. It's so quiet that my heart is broken. Come back, my love!
2. Marriage is a mistake, divorce is an awakening, remarriage is a mistake, remarriage is a stubbornness, having children is a big mistake, and nothing is delayed.
When we fall in love with someone, there is nothing wrong with being humble. As long as you are not mean, your love will have a future.
4. A woman has two lives, one dies in divorce and the other is born in divorce.
Each of us can be knocked down, but no one can stop us from getting up from the ground.
Regret is the most useless thing, but we often regret it. If we really have a chance to go back in time, we may change one or two things we regret, but we will regret the other one in the end.
7. When someone catches your little mistake and breaks up, it's not because of your fault, but because he doesn't love you. Forgiveness is only related to the depth of love. How much love, how much forgiveness.
8. I was interested in getting married at first, but it was wrong to divorce later.
9. Broken contact, broken thoughts, the last hope has vanished, and my heart is so tired. Does it hurt? I don't understand.
10. I believe that separation is the best ending, because I don't want to forget you.
1 1. If we get married, the first thing I will do is blow up the divorce office.
12. When a woman is desperate, she will marry a man; When a man is desperate, a woman will divorce him.
13. For those who don't know how to cherish you, you don't have to care when you leave. For those who don't love you, giving up is a relief!
14. My tears are still spinning in my eyes, but your tears have splashed on the back of my hand.
15. Now the divorce rate is so high, it is obvious that marriage is out of date.
16. Once hand in hand, once happy and sweet, once spent months and months, in the end, it disappeared in a silent breakup. I have to say that my life is full of irony. Snow, quietly floating, heart, quietly hurting.
17. Nothing, the old ones don't go, the new ones don't come, and there are many better men.
18. Our era is one in which we laugh and cry.
19. Please be happier than me so that I won't quit at sixes and sevens. I left you because I really love you. I really love you.
Honey, let's go to Ireland and get married together. Because divorce is illegal there.
2 1. The breeze blows away your locked brow, and the spring rain moistens your stiff face and makes all your troubles fly back.
22. The hope of life is marriage, and the only hope after marriage is divorce.
23. The first thing a husband and wife should do when they get along is to be honest with each other. Everyone either doesn't get married, or once they get married, they don't get divorced. Marriage should be run jointly by everyone, not unilaterally. Such a marriage will last for a long time.
24. Many people who give up love are disappointed in marriage and even divorced because they hope that love will always be exciting and will not accept its normality.
25. Nine dollars for marriage and twelve dollars for divorce. Only fools divorce. How expensive!
26. Marriage is a matter for two people. Divorce is a Siberian butterfly. If you flap your wings far away, there will be a hurricane in the whole city.
27. Obviously, I got married for happiness, but in the end I divorced for my own happiness.
28. Extramarital affairs can be a romantic story, but divorce is a tragic accident.
29. What is the completion of love? If marriage is the completion of love, what is divorce? When I begin to love someone, love is complete.
30. From the moment you decide to leave, there is no turning back. You should know me.
3 1. Leave and leave, just a little unaccustomed, everything is always dull …
32. There are always many things that make people feel powerless in this life, such as trying hard or not getting on, such as trying hard or not getting you.
33. Since we are doomed to be apart, it doesn't matter whether it will be sunny or not.
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