What should I say as the first sentence when we contact each other after a breakup? How should we edit the first message after a breakup and reconnection?

Everyone must remember that in the first chat after a breakup, you should weaken your purpose and blur your intentions. Don't look for trouble, and don't talk nonsense with your ex.

There are three situations here:

1. The two parties can be friends now

The so-called being friends now means that the current status of both parties is no longer We were very excited when we broke up just now. Both parties were relatively calm and emotionally stable.

The two people have always been able to communicate, but their attitudes towards each other are relatively cold.

In this case, don't lower your profile and lick the other person. Also, don't talk to him about boring topics. Your seventh aunt and eighth aunt came out to chat. In fact, the other party has already replied to you: "It's none of my business!"

This kind of ordinary chat will alienate the other party from you and even arouse his defense against you.

After all, you have broken up, and the frequency of his chatting with you, including his world, no longer intersects with yours.

If you don't talk to him regularly, he will reflect that you have evaporated from his life and realize that he has lost you. At this time, he will most likely miss your kindness.

But if you have nothing to do but talk to the other person and reveal all your status to him, your mystery will disappear. The opponent has been adapting to this state, and at the same time he is also looking for new goals.

Therefore, in this case, you can choose the following two initial modes for reconnection.

Option 1: Go with the flow and connect the same memories

You can connect some different memories and say that these memories remind you of each other. But remember this message and keep it lighthearted. And it’s best to add a little humor to make the other person feel that you are not looking for trouble or reconciliation.

It is worth noting that such memories are as natural as possible.

For example: "I happened to pass by Hubin Street today and saw the restaurant we went to before. Their facade has been renovated. I saw the sign at the door saying new single-origin crispy chicken. Have you been there again? ”

In addition to associative memory, you can also associate with what happened to the other person recently.

For example: "Recently, an old classmate of mine was ill and hospitalized. It is said that he has been admitted to the ICU. He is also a doctor. You are really too tired to be a doctor. You must pay attention not to be too Tired, take care of your body and your stomach. "Do you often feel pain?"

Choice 2: Seek advice

The method of seeking advice must be used with caution. After all you are devaluing yourself in asking for help. Therefore, the questions you want to consult must be valuable and good at them.

For example: "Recently, my aunt's child wants to take the college entrance examination. This child is very good at studying law. You are studying law. Can you tell me about the application requirements and employment situation?"

The other party responded to you , you can say: "Thank you! If you have any questions in the future, I will ask you again. Thank you. I can treat you to dinner another day."

When you ask your ex a question , it must be true and don’t let the other party think you did it on purpose.

There are many ways to combine, so I won’t list them all here. Methods and strategies are a reference for thinking, and should not be applied mechanically.

Here, I would like to remind everyone to keep penetrating in the chat. I'm chatting with you randomly. I don’t really want to chat with you, but I need your help.

And clarify your motives appropriately. I am not looking for you to get back together. This can greatly reduce the other party's defense.

This way, even if the other person doesn't want to talk to you, he will reply to you. Because if I don't come back to you, it will appear that he is petty.

When you are separated for a long time, remember this secret: if you don’t even admit that you want to get back together, throw the pot away if necessary: ??you are thinking too much.

2. The relationship between the two parties is in a vague and recurring state

This situation is actually in an intermediate state. Your ex’s attitude is very complicated and vague, and he will miss you occasionally, which is why he will contact you after drinking in the middle of the night.

But at the same time, unhappiness remains. He still has a shadow over you. He wants to interact with you, but he is afraid of interacting with you. ctiongt;

Therefore, the ex at this time will have two attitudes - tending to get back together, or tending to continue the breakup.

In this case, you must follow this tactic: I will not move until the enemy does not move, do not show your trump card that you want to have a good talk, but first test whether the other party is willing to contact you.

Therefore, you can try to find an objective reason to connect. There are several better ways:

(1) Emotional bonding method-----You are raised together Pets, concerts that we agreed to go to, etc.;

(2) Returning things to their original owners - Is something of mine still there with you/I just found it during the general cleaning Do you still want to wait for this?

(3) A simple way to ask for help------My courier was sent to the wrong person, or maybe I was on a business trip recently, but I have a very important courier. , want to send it to you first?

(4) Insinuation method--find an intermediary, pretend to mention you casually in front of him, and test his attitude.

3. Firmly disagree with getting back together

Your ex is still in the proximate effect of hating you. In his impression, you are still the same you with only shortcomings. He has too many Lots of emotions to vent.

But at the same time, you are also in a very uncomfortable stage now. You have not accepted the fact that you broke up, so you will still talk a lot, trying to persuade your ex with true feelings, oaths, and reasons.

Your actions will make him more and more angry, and eventually make the other party feel that you are unreasonable, so the other party gives up communication.

The tactic in this situation is to stay still while the enemy moves. You need to let the other person speak first. Moreover, most of your phone calls now should be filled with emotions. The more your ex talks, the greater the amount of information exposed.

If you made a lot of wrong moves before and after the breakup, then it is definitely not advisable for you to pretend that nothing is wrong and follow the above method to send messages to the other party to restore contact.

At this point, the "elephant in the room" technique comes in handy.

The "elephant in the room" rhetoric consists of three parts:

·1. Apologize for your behavior during the breakup.

·2. Express that you accept the fact of the breakup.

·3. Tell them how you have changed.

Once you send the "elephant in the room" line, you must be disconnected for at least 1-2 weeks before any of the other reconnection lines just mentioned.

Finally, I want to say that you should never try to win him back by persuading or reasoning. You should still influence him subtly.