Should children frown or smile when they find puppy love? Learn 6 tricks to make you face it calmly.

A while ago, I saw a daughter say this to her mother on the program "Teenagers Say", so I couldn't help but pay attention to this problem.

In the program, the daughter bravely confessed to her mother on the stage that she liked a boy.

Hearing this, the mother didn't frown or object, but unexpectedly told her daughter that it was normal. Everyone yearns for truth, goodness and beauty. It must be because that male classmate has something worthy of your love and attention. Mom wants you to keep your beautiful feelings in your heart and regard him as your role model and goal, so that more people will appreciate you in the future.

Many people were surprised to hear what my mother said, because we were taught from an early age that students should not fall in love early. Puppy love is a shameful thing, even if it happens, it should be carried out secretly. Once teachers or parents know, the consequences will be very serious.

I didn't expect the mother to face her daughter's puppy love so calmly, which is really enviable. In our country, this issue is still relatively conservative. We believe that "puppy love" will distract children, affect their academic performance and even think in a bad direction. Therefore, the attitude towards this matter is strictly forbidden.

However, in the face of opposition from teachers and parents, in fact, children often show resistance, some people's grades will drop rapidly, some people will break up with their families, and some will even die.

Looking back now, if our parents and teachers could face and accept the problem of "puppy love" with an open mind, would many results be different?

Even if this question is put to the present, ask parents what you will do if they find their children "puppy love". Most people may be at a loss, or simply do what their parents treat them. Although children haven't happened yet, they will meet sooner or later after watching too many TV dramas and movies and being influenced by their classmates. Parents are advised to prepare in advance. When one day a child tells you that he likes others, you can also face it calmly.

1, kindergarten period

During the period of 3-6 years old, children have a feeling of liking others, or what parents think of as "puppy love" is actually just a simple and pure feeling of children.

For children of this age, there is no need to think in the direction of "puppy love", but parents should remind their children that if they want to hold other children's hands or kiss others like their parents, they need the consent of others. If the other party doesn't want to, you can't force others. You should respect others.

Put yourself in your child's shoes. If someone you don't like very much wants to kiss you, you will feel uncomfortable. The child is fickle at this stage. Maybe he likes this child this week, and he will be replaced by someone else next week. Parents don't have to be too nervous.

2. Reading period

The "puppy love" in adolescence is actually a child's yearning and pursuit of the opposite sex, a normal physiological and psychological phenomenon, and an inevitable result of the influence of social environment, multiple information stimuli and rapid physiological development.

Parents should also look at this problem with a rational eye. Liking others has nothing to do with children's conduct and study. Don't think that a child's "puppy love" will become a "bad boy" and his thoughts are not correct. You can't look at this problem rationally if you think about children like this. You will also convey this message to your child when you educate him in the future.

1, gender missing

This is especially obvious for children from divorced families. If the family is a girl who lives with her mother after divorce and has no father, then the reason for her puppy love may be that she is eager for a man to care for and care for herself. Similarly, if the family is a boy and lives with his father after divorce, this may also happen.

Another situation is that one parent is often busy with work, not at home or often on business trips, and the child does not feel love from his father or mother, and may have puppy love.

2. Influenced by classmates

At school, there are more or less puppy love students in the class, so children will have a psychological comparison. They think that people have to have me, and having a boyfriend or girlfriend is a particularly imposing thing.

3. Affected by social environment

Children nowadays love watching TV plays. The development of the hero and heroine and the plot in a hit TV series will deeply affect children's view of love. They are interested in love and eager to become the hero and heroine in reality.

1, a positive attitude towards children

When a child likes someone else and is willing to share it with you, congratulations, you can gain the trust of your child at this stage. Your next reaction and attitude to this matter will determine whether your children will continue to trust you in the future.

When you know the news, you should be happy for your children. You can say to your child, "I'm so happy for you. My child has someone he likes. " At the same time, you can also take this opportunity to ask your child why you like him and what his advantages are.

If the child's favorite object studies well, parents can also encourage him to learn from each other and make progress together, so that he can be admitted to a good school in the future, which will be the goal and direction of mutual struggle.

In addition, you can also affirm the child's bright spot. For example, if your child plays basketball well and gets good grades, you can tell him that maybe the other person likes you because of your advantages, and you will continue to do well in the future to gain more people's appreciation. This will not only affirm the value of the child, but also let him know that others will like him because he is outstanding, and remind him from the side that this matter should not affect his studies.

Step 2 respect children

If parents blindly oppose it, it is likely to be counterproductive. Adolescent children are rebellious. For them, this "first love" is particularly precious and rare. It was their first taste of love, and they would find it fresh and rich.

If we encounter opposition, it will not dilute this feeling, but will make them more determined, so that no one can separate our feelings. Psychologically speaking, this situation means that young lovers can easily regard external obstacles as the test of love itself, and then the more others control them, the more firmly they will stay together, ignoring the rational evaluation of lovers and love itself.

A survey in the United States shows that when children have a good impression on the opposite sex for the first time, or yearn for "marriage", and this emotion is accepted and protected by their parents, their emotional relationship will be smoother in the future.

Parents can hold a respectful attitude, or they can talk to their children about your love events in those years as a bearer, so that children can learn how to get along with each other from your love stories, how to solve problems when they encounter them, and let them know that endless love is beautiful, and there may be quarrels and anger.

In addition, you should listen attentively to what your child wants to say. If your child doesn't want to say, parents should not ask. Wait until your child is willing to share it with you, and give him enough time and trust.

In the process of chatting with children, you should convey to them the idea that "we will always love you no matter what" and let them know that you are on his side. Don't let him feel that "puppy love" is about to break up with his parents, because falling in love distracts his study. If he still has problems with his parents, it will only increase the possibility of his distraction and will not help him.

3. Clear advantages and disadvantages

A child who has just started to fall in love is like being immersed in a honey pot. He doesn't know what consequences love will bring. This parent can talk to the child in advance, of course, choose a suitable time, and say it in a peaceful attitude and tone, just like chatting with friends. Don't preach, and don't use a condescending attitude, which will disgust the child and make him not listen.

Make clear your attitude to your child and let him know that you don't object to his falling in love, but make it clear that his first priority at present is to study, as long as he can balance the relationship between the two.

Let children know that love will be very happy and sweet, and may also face psychological and physical harm. When you disagree, you may get angry and quarrel. When you feel that it is not suitable for your partner to break up, you will go through a very sad period and let him know in advance what he may face in the future.

At the same time, let him know that at this stage, learning is more important than feelings, but what is more important than learning is his own life. No matter what happens, never hurt yourself or others because of your emotional feelings.

4. Sex education for children

In fact, this educational problem does not have to penetrate into the stage of children's love. You can subtly educate him when he is younger, and let him know that it is basically common sense of sex.

1 on TV)

For example, watching Animal World or going to the zoo, if there are cats at home, dogs can naturally talk to their children about this problem through their behavior. As long as children are interested and want to ask questions, parents will explain them in words that children can understand.

2) Don't shy away

Children of different ages will ask their parents different questions, such as where I come from, whether I can have children, why only girls can have children and so on. Parents don't have to deliberately avoid or digress. As long as the child asks, we will answer truthfully. The more you avoid it, the more curious he becomes. If you don't tell him, one day he will know through other channels, but if these channels are not correct, it will make children establish wrong ideas.

3) Clear the legal bottom line

For adolescent children, it is very likely that people around them or influenced by various factors have done something they shouldn't have done, but they must know a common sense of law and have sex with women under 14, even if the woman agrees, it still constitutes rape. This point, whether it is a boy or a girl at home, must be clear.

At the same time, you need to let your child know that the premise of this behavior is that the other person is willing, and you can't force or threaten others to do what he doesn't want to do in any way, even though you are boyfriend and girlfriend.

Once the child touches this bottom line, the consequences will not only affect the child, but also the whole family will be disastrous.

4) How to prevent pregnancy

Let children know the benefits of condoms, which is nothing to hide. Children will know the existence and use of this thing when they reach a certain age. Instead of letting him guess, it is better to introduce it to the child generously, ensure that he knows the relevant knowledge, at least let him know how to use it correctly, so as to protect himself and others.

When you can talk about this problem with your child generously, the child will think that you respect him and want to protect him, but you can also add some agreements between the two sides during the discussion, such as 18 years old, don't have sex with the opposite sex who has not established a relationship, make sure that the other party is willing, and take safety measures before things happen.

In this way, even if one day, when he really has to face this problem, he will not be at a loss and will not do anything that hurts others. The more he knows, the more he can protect himself and others.

5. Both parents have their own duties.

Parents can play their respective roles according to their children's gender. Mothers can tell their daughters according to their own mate selection criteria, which qualities should be valued in choosing a boyfriend in the future, so that their daughters can focus on this quality and condition when choosing a boyfriend. Similarly, the father can tell his son what to value when choosing a girlfriend or even a future wife, so that the child can have a preliminary mate selection standard in advance.

You know, in a family, the relationship between husband and wife is the first. If the husband and wife are harmonious and love each other, the children can see it. If both parents have excellent work and life, then children will not fall in love so soon, because they have high requirements and eyes for the opposite sex.

Therefore, parents should set a good example for their children, give them a beautiful view of love and marriage, and have a good reference object for their future love and marriage.

Having said so many things that parents should do, let's share what parents should never do, otherwise it will seriously affect the parent-child relationship you have established with your children for many years.

1, beat Yuanyang

When parents find their children "puppy love", don't hit Yuanyang, which will fuel their feelings and make them more determined. Adolescent children have rebellious mentality, and your prevention will only encourage their rebellious mentality.

Step 2 be cynical about children

When children make up their minds not to break up, parents will be cynical all day at home. Once they seize the opportunity, they will make all kinds of satires on their children and blame the mistakes made by their children during this time on "puppy love", which will make you farther and farther away from your children.

3. Don't read your child's diary or mobile phone.

Children have privacy. If you say you don't mind, but you can't help peeking at your child's mobile phone and diary in private, once the child knows, it's easy to turn against you, so that the child's trust in you disappears suddenly. It's even harder to let the child confess to you and tell you what he is thinking in the future.

Former US President Barack Obama also mentioned his daughter's puppy love when he was a guest talk show. His attitude towards his daughter's love is that as long as he respects you and treats you well, I won't worry about you.

These words represent a father's enough trust in his daughter, believing that she can handle this relationship by herself. At the same time, as a parent, let your child know that you will always be his strong backing, and he will always find himself no matter what problems he encounters.

Many things have to be experienced by children before they know the ups and downs. A well-handled "puppy love" may promote the progress of both sides. If it can have a positive effect on each other, in fact, "puppy love" is not so bad.

Of course, I am not encouraging children to "puppy love", but if children really meet people they like, I hope parents can trust and respect them more and let them know that their parents will always be their strong backing.