How can a husband mediate because of the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law?

How can a husband mediate because of the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law?

Because of the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, how does the husband mediate? The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is one of the most important contradictions in most families. How do we solve this problem? Let's take a brief look at it. Because of the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, how can husband mediate?

Because of the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, how does the husband mediate the quarrel? 1 1. Reasons for the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law

1, age gap

There is not only a gap in age, a completely different lifestyle, but also a serious generation gap in communication. If there is no husband's adjustment in the middle, the contradiction will become bigger and bigger, and it will become more and more difficult to handle. Therefore, as a man, we should grasp the discretion and be a "peacemaker"

The daughter-in-law treats her mother-in-law as an outsider.

The war between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been staged for many centuries, and it is still a war without smoke. In the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, not only some mother-in-law treat her daughter-in-law as an outsider, but also some daughter-in-law treat her mother-in-law as an outsider. Otherwise, how can so many mother-in-law wander alone to make a living in her later years?

When many people try to deal with their mother-in-law for their wronged daughter-in-law, in fact, her mother-in-law is also wronged, because some daughter-in-law is very possessive and always feels that everything about her husband is her own and has nothing to do with her mother-in-law, but her daughter-in-law should know that your husband was brought up by her mother-in-law. How can you say that it has nothing to do with herself?

My mother-in-law has always wanted to have a son.

It is the mother-in-law who has always wanted to possess her son and is reluctant to let go. Some people say that the greatness of parents' love for their children lies in the fact that almost all love in the world is aimed at aggregation, and only parents' love for their children is aimed at separation.

Parents love their children, not to tie them around forever, but to help them grow up, to make them have the ability to live independently, to let them see the bigger world, and to live happily without themselves one day.

Second, the method of husband's mediation in the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law

1, show the dignity of the head of the family.

When you see a daughter-in-law quarreling with her mother, you can stop it loudly and in time to prevent them from continuing to quarrel. Sometimes "fighting violence with violence" will calm them down in time. Wait until they calm down before patiently persuading. If the head of the family comes forward, things will be much easier to solve.

2. Be sure to advise separately.

When two people are together, it will only get louder and fiercer, and everyone will not be outdone. Moreover, neighbors will make jokes when they hear it, which will be regarded as talk capital. So at this time, we must convince each other separately, so that we can not meet each other and be calm. We can listen to each other's views before persuasion, and then patiently persuade after listening.

3. Give your wife the opportunity to be a good person and keep the opportunity to be a bad person for yourself.

In life, everyone likes to be a good person, except those who are mentally ill and appreciated by others. But when dealing with the relationship, especially the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, a smart husband will give his wife a chance to be a good person, such as buying things to honor her parents or please them. Even if you do it yourself, you will tell your parents that this is what your wife means. Most parents-in-law will think that their daughter-in-law is reasonable and has no reason not to like her, but their love for you will not decrease.

Third, the method of family harmony.

1, mutual respect, understanding and respect.

Mutual understanding is the basic condition for harmonious coexistence. As women, why can't we be considerate of each other and forgive each other some unintentional mistakes? Treat the married family as a new family and actively integrate into the new family. Traveling together on weekends is a good way to enhance feelings. A daughter-in-law should be considerate of her mother-in-law. Naturally, she knows herself better than her mother who watched her grow up, so don't always compare her mother with her mother-in-law. Mother-in-law should be considerate of her daughter-in-law when she arrives in a new environment. Naturally, she can't be with her family who have grown up for more than 20 years, and some conflicts are natural. When one day the mother-in-law treats her daughter-in-law as her own daughter and the daughter-in-law treats her mother-in-law as her mother, it will naturally be harmonious.

Step 2 contain each other

If it is really impossible to be close as a family, then if there are differences and contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, we must keep a cool head. Even if one party loses his temper, the other party should try to restrain the emotional reaction between each other and discuss and deal with the existing problems and opinions after the other party calms down. If one side reacts violently, one side had better choose to avoid it, because there is no reason for people to speak in an emotional situation, and it is also possible to say or even make things that hurt the other side invisibly. You know, once this happens, it will be difficult to maintain harmony between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

3. Satisfy the vanity of mother-in-law as parents.

Their days are gone forever, without the edge of their youth. Their only expectation is to live in harmony with their families and be filial to their parents. Especially as a mother-in-law. From the moment she became a mother, it seemed that her life no longer belonged to her, but to her children. Mothers together, at most, don't talk about fashion stars, and don't talk about handsome guys and beautiful women. Parents' parents, who are filial to their parents, appear most frequently in their topics. If you hear people around you say, "Your son and daughter-in-law are so kind and filial to you," you will be especially happy to eat honey. Therefore, if the daughter-in-law can communicate more with her mother-in-law, she should be warm to her mother-in-law from time to time and let her feel your concern. Compared with these "sugar-coated shells", your filial piety effect is not significant.

Emotional expert analysis:

There is a skeleton in the cupboard. When your wife has a conflict with her parents, do you subconsciously think it's her fault? Do you think it is her fault that she quarreled with her mother? It's her fault that she doesn't respect her face and her elders. But you should know that when a woman marries, she leaves home to marry you and is willing to live with you in an environment that is completely strange to her. This is because she gave you everything in the future, so as a man, he should play a mediating role in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and handle the relationship fairly between the two women he loves. This is the responsibility that every man should fulfill. I believe that having you in the middle will make their relationship better. If you don't have a better way to deal with it, you can consult your teacher, who will give you the most professional advice according to the actual situation.

How does husband mediate because of the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law First, we should not be "one-sided"

In the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the relationship between husband's role and mother-in-law is very special and plays a very important and sensitive role. If there are mistakes and unfairness in dealing with the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it is not only useless, but may be counterproductive. At this time, the most common mistake made by her husband is unfairness and justice, that is, a bowl of water is flat, which is often said to be one-sided. Why is this happening? Because we all know that in the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, being a husband between them is a dual identity.

For the mother-in-law is the son, for the daughter-in-law is the husband, if the scale is not well grasped, the heart will be unbalanced and biased to one side. If you say that you are an out-and-out "dutiful son" or "mother-in-law" man, no matter right or wrong, you will suddenly stand on your mother's side and deal with your daughter-in-law. At this time, your daughter-in-law will think that I am your lover but will not help me, which means that you will feel wronged and angry without me, thus aggravating the contradiction. If your husband is "henpecked" or "henpecked", once there is a contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law,

At this time, it will be difficult for mother-in-law to accept and face, thinking that you have worked hard to raise your "rabbit", but your boy has married his daughter-in-law and forgotten his mother. Therefore, if you don't fight and vent your grievances, it may escalate the situation. Therefore, all this is not desirable. When your mother-in-law quarrels, you must not take sides, and don't take sides easily. You must appear as a fair and neutral "referee" and "honest official", try your best to calm and stop the conflict first, and then discuss the merits, and do not use "one"

Second, don't be a "tumbler"

We all know that the famous "tumbler" in traditional toys, once touched, will swing and then return to an upright state. In life, people also call some people who are good at coping with the environment and can keep their position for a long time "profiteers". In the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, everyone knows the particularity of husband's identity in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, which is difficult to handle and solve. Once there are deviations and mistakes, things will become a mess, so there are those.

Most husbands adopt the "golden mean" principle of impartiality and non-offending, and start a "tumbler" between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. In fact, this seems brilliant, but it is actually the worst policy. Why do you say that? Because when the mother is weak and leans over to the mother, or when the mother scolds her, she speaks for the mother. When the daughter-in-law is passive, she quickly turns to support her daughter-in-law, or when the daughter-in-law scolds her, she quickly defends her daughter-in-law. This seems to be a kind heart. In order to avoid trouble, she doesn't offend anyone, but what is the actual situation?

During the whole process, one party thought I was your mother and you wanted to marry me, while the other party thought I was your daughter-in-law. You should always stand with me and want to be an ally with you. Your performance and behavior make both sides feel that you have no principles and standards. I don't know what you think and who you support, but both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law don't appreciate each other and both have dissatisfaction and complaints about you.

Moreover, doing so will make you look at yourself in the mirror, neither inside nor outside. As a result, the mouse fell into the bellows and suffered indignities at both ends. The final result is not only thankless, but also complicated and difficult to end. In fact, it is actually helping the situation and making it worse and worse. Therefore, it is unwise to have clear principles and positions on the quarrel between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and to talk sensibly, but not to be a "tumbler".

Third, be a real peacemaker.

The concept of "peacemaker" originally refers to people who mediate disputes, but the concept of "peacemaker" in life is often derogatory, referring to those who have no principle of mediation and seem to just muddle along without any practical effect, but the "peacemaker" we let our husband do here is to return to the true nature and essence of "peacemaker" and do "harmony" in the true sense The role of this role is reflected in the three stages of the quarrel between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

Before a quarrel between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, we should do a good job in coordination and balance, pass on positive things between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, do a good job in running-in harmony between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, prevent and resolve differences and misunderstandings between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law as soon as possible, make mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live in harmony as much as possible, and eliminate and reduce the possibility of conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, that is, nip in the bud.

However, life is ever-changing, and the things you face are complicated. No matter how well coordinated, there will inevitably be differences and frictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. At this time, once contradictions and conflicts occur, the first thing you have to do is to persuade and stop the other party and let the situation calm down. Because of the particularity of your identity, both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law regard you as their important person, so you have this ability and influence, no matter what path you take.

After everyone is calm and sober, afterwards, you can have good and effective communication and exchange, try your best to recognize things and feelings, do a good job of persuasion and persuasion, realize your own shortcomings and behaviors in the whole thing, and finally eliminate misunderstandings and cognitive biases and shake hands, so that you can fulfill your duties and obligations as a husband and become a veritable competent person.

How to deal with the quarrel between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law Do it.