Look at others, and then look at you.

I met my aunt in the park.

? It was a day at the end of August. As an ordinary freshman from other places, I am about to leave the city where I have lived for 18 years, and I always feel a little reluctant and nostalgic. So I went out for a walk and wanted to feel the scenery of my hometown again before I left, so that I could taste more of my hometown.

I walked into the park unconsciously. At the end of August, autumn has quietly mixed into the territory occupied by summer. The sunshine is lazy, strong but not dazzling. In the park, the leaves of ginkgo trees and buttonwood trees were soaked by autumn wind and dyed golden yellow. Fallen leaves are dancing, spinning and falling like butterflies. Many of them landed on the narrow Shi Zhuan Road, which almost covered Shi Zhuan Road.

My eyes looked down the vague Shi Zhuan Road and stopped in front of two pairs of shoes. Two people appeared in front of me.

It's my aunt and her daughter, my cousin They are going this way. My cousin is wearing a school uniform, and her thin body is wrapped in a fat school uniform, which is as funny as a clown in a costume. Aunt dressed up as a housewife. She looked down at her cousin with two stern eyes. Her mouth opened and closed quickly, as if her speed had doubled. Standing in the distance, I seemed to hear her reprimand for educating her cousin. Cousin, on the other hand, lowered her head and was about to cry, and followed her mother slowly, like an obedient lamb.

"Aunt, sister" I saw them coming to my side and called out to them.

Aunt was a little surprised to see me, and then smiled and waved to me. This is obviously a polite smiling face, because as far as I know, my aunt's serious face has never squeezed out a smile.

On the contrary, my cousin acted like a suffering man who saw the savior. She sighed a long time, made a light gesture to avoid being discovered by my aunt, and then came over to greet me warmly. Give me a sneak peek and thank me for saving her from her mother's nagging.

"It's lily. It's been a year, hasn't it? How did the college entrance examination go? Have you been admitted? Is it a book? " Menstruation's eyes were wide open, and tears for you, like a pearl, asked questions like a barrage. I have to answer her one by one.

"Look, look, look at your brother. How promising! One, one!" Aunt smiled and listened to my words, immediately changed her face, raised her voice by eight degrees, and shouted at her cousin, "Look at you again. You don't know how to study all day, but you just know how to play." You are now a senior three, and the college entrance examination will be held in less than 300 days. You can see when you will postpone it. Well, you can postpone it. I want to see the result. "I can't stop when I open my mouth, like a tsunami pouring out of my mouth.

? Cousin's expression changed shape, mixed with loss, injustice, anger and embarrassment, and kneaded into a ball. "How can I have time to study? The cram school is full. " She answered carefully, and her voice was so low that only the three of us could hear her.

? "Yes, cram school, not just for your own good. Can I learn without going to cram school? Look at the first place in your class. People just go to cram school every day and get so good grades. People have been learning. What about you? You are free at school. You can talk after class. How can it be a senior three? "

? "Aunt, my sister is a senior three this year." I quickly found a topic to interrupt my aunt's words, or she would go on endlessly, and my sister's tears would fall.

? "Yes, senior three, you don't know, she is tiring. Yes, you just graduated from high school. Come and tell your sister how important it is to study hard in senior three. " She was very happy when she spoke, and her whole face was fighting.

I want to persuade my aunt not to make my cousin too tired and let her arrange her own study. But when I saw menstruation's murderous look, I dared not speak again, so I had to smile awkwardly and managed to squeeze out a little rhetoric.

? "So aunt, what do you want?" I took advantage of the gap to grab the conversation.

? "Class, math. This weekend, I also have time to see her and accompany her to the cram school for a day. Otherwise, she doesn't know where to sneak. "

? "I didn't play ..." My sister whispered. ...

? Finally, my aunt drew her sister into my sight.

? The sun blinded me, so I stepped on my way home.

Second,

Around the Spring Festival, I saw my aunt and cousin again. My mother and aunt made an appointment to chat in the coffee shop, and I went with them.

The coffee shop is in the alley of the old city. Few people pass by and it is very quiet. The heating pipes in the corner of the coffee shop heated the surrounding air, and five square tables were randomly placed, and four sofa chairs were placed around each table. I, my mother, my aunt, my cousin sit at the same table, and my mother and my aunt are exchanging their experiences in raising children. I sit next to my sister.

Aunt seems to know the study life of all senior three students in the school, because my sister and I heard her say to her mother, "Look at Zhang San in our class, Li Si in the next class, and Wang Wu and Liu Ma in Class 5 and Class 6." Every time she talks about a person, she will compare him with her daughter like a professional critic. It seems that she feels that this baby in her hand is like a piece of scrap iron, which can't compare with others. So I carefully criticized my sister's shortcomings, while my sister blushed and bowed her head. There are no more tears in her eyes, and she seems to be used to her mother's endless comparison, degradation and imitation. Then, at a turn, menstruation talked about many cram schools that her sister attended, and her tone softened, praising her daughter for her progress in school performance since she attended cram schools like a top student.

In order to ease the awkward atmosphere, I asked to take my cousin out for a walk.

"My mother is always like this." As soon as she went out, her voice broke into tears and she complained to me. There seems to be countless grievances in her heart.

"She is always willing to compare me with the top students in the class. She thinks I am inferior to others everywhere, so she must learn from others. She hasn't left any cram school for top students, and she has reported it to me. "

I shook my head helplessly, but I didn't know what to say to comfort her.

"Do you know what those cram schools are like? Dozens of people are crowded in a small room of less than 20 square meters, and they can almost try to breathe out the breath of the people around them. The teacher is talking in the front of the room. In such an unbearable environment, they don't care. Anyway, the money ended up in their own pockets. Deceiving parents to think that the illusion that children are studying hard here is successful. " She took a deep breath and went on to say.

"Now, I take up the time of school self-study every day to go to cram school. It's already early in the morning when I go home at night, and I have to go to school at six the next day. I have no time at all on weekends, either in class or on my way to class. I have no time to teach myself. How can I make progress in my study? Well, it's all an illusion. It is all her own comfort. "

? "Otherwise, I advise your mother to give you more time to study by yourself?" I am worried about her future.

"Oh, do you think it will be useful? All the principals in the class are in class. I bet she will answer you like this. But she didn't see how the schoolmasters studied. Everything was hearsay, and she refused to believe me. "

..... I was silent for a long time and couldn't say a word.

Our walk was interrupted by a sudden heavy snow. When I returned to the coffee shop, I watched the snow outside the window getting bigger and bigger, and watched the snowflake fall on the wall leaning against the heating pipe and turn into water droplets. Helpless sigh.

Third,

For the next six months, I never saw the mother and daughter again. They stayed at home to prepare for the college entrance examination. On ordinary days, whenever I think of my sister's tearful words, I tremble in my heart and pray for her silently.

In July, my mother and I went to my aunt's house. Unfortunately, the results of the college entrance examination just came out.

Aunt sat on the sofa in pain, burying her face in her hands and sobbing. Her tight facial features finally relaxed and twitched. Complain in a low voice

My cousin is lying on a long sofa, with a mobile phone in her hand and her thumb sliding quickly on the screen. Her face was expressionless, but her sadness was faintly visible.

Aunt hugged her mother in despair. "It's over, it's all over." She cried and said, "Specialist, how can I live in this future?" I can't learn anything in this school, and I don't even have a job ... "She looked back at her cousin." You are the black sheep of my family. How much effort I have devoted to you, and I take you to make up lessons everywhere when I work at night every day. How much did you spend? How do you repay your mother, junior college? " Her voice trembled with sadness.

"If you think I'm worth a few dollars, I'll pay you back later." Sister smiled coldly.

"Look at him, huh?" Xiao Yan ignored her words and continued, "Zhang San went to Tsinghua, Li Si went to Fudan, and even Wang Wu and Liu Ma went to a book. What about you? You have attended as many remedial classes as anyone else. "

? My sister also ignored my aunt. She no longer blushes and feels sad for her mother's similar words. Her face has been blocked by the mobile phone, and I can't see her expression.

My mother and I didn't dare to stay at menstruation's house for too long and left in a hurry.

Fourth,

The last time I saw my cousin was at her house. After graduation, she found an ordinary job and married an ordinary worker. That day, my mother and I went to my cousin's house to see her baby who was less than a year old.

Coincidentally, my aunt was there. I can see that my aunt has aged a lot, her hair is finally big and white, and her face is covered with wrinkles, which shows that she is much older than her actual age. Mom sat chatting with her, and my cousin and I stood by the baby's bed to make the baby laugh.

Aunt is not very satisfied with her son-in-law, because the neighbor's son-in-law is a white-collar worker who works in an office. His monthly income is twice that of his daughter's family, and he lives a rich and inevitably happy life, many times better than the son-in-law of his poor daughter. "I have been giving some advice to my son-in-law who is not sensible." Aunt's face is full of worry. "How others live, how he lives, but he doesn't want to listen to me."

My cousin stood next to me and glared at her mother in disgust. "Stop it, Mom." She said, "He is very kind to me and I am very satisfied."

I smiled and whispered to my cousin, "Your mother's old habits have not changed."

Cousin frowned: "Yes, I can't change it."

After a while, the baby was going to eat. My cousin took a bottle of filled milk powder and tried to feed it to the baby. The baby struggled as hard as fear, and couldn't feed a mouthful of milk powder.

? Cousin is anxious: "this child, don't eat."

? "Never mind, he will eat when he is hungry." I made faces to tease the baby, and the baby giggled.

? "You see the child in my classmate's house, eating milk with a bottle, a big bottle, don't finish drinking. You look again ... "

I shivered and suddenly felt the air was heavy. My chest seems to be blocked by something, making it difficult to breathe. I have to go to the balcony to get some air.

Outside the balcony, it's cloudy and it's going to rain.