Funny, short sentences and hilarious jokes at work

Talking humorously at work, short sentences are hilarious (44 selected sentences) 1. If there are many trees, there will be dead branches, and if there are many people, there will be idiots. 2. When you feel that you have nothing and nothing cute. Look in the mirror, honey, you still have meat! It's no use being blind. 4. High school is full of money and not enough sleep; College is not enough sleep and money; Now I'm at work, I don't have enough money, and I don't have enough sleep ... 5. There are two me in the world, one who works hard intermittently and the other who is constantly decadent and indulgent. 6. It was great in ancient times. If you bear too much pressure, you will become a demon, a god and a demon, while in modern times, if you bear too much pressure, you will become a psychopath. 7. When you meet an unreasonable person, try not to talk if you can respond with white eyes. 8. No woman will lose all her money because of buy buy, but many women lose their money because of thrift. To be a beautiful woman is not to fall in love with the country, not to be beautiful, but to lose everything. 9. How can we take care of everyone's feelings? I can't take care of my mood. 10. You are only young once, and you can't start again. Therefore, it is necessary to be forgiven for subverting the world wisely-completely funny, destructive, causing trouble, taking patents, pretending to force and stunts, relying on talent, being regarded as fate. 1 1. If you feel sick and retching while brushing your teeth, don't brush your teeth in front of the mirror. 12. They are used to criticizing you behind your back because they don't have the capital to confront you face to face. You are the winner, don't be afraid. 13. When a boy tells you that you are my little apple, don't think that he likes you, or that he may want to peel you. 14. Girls often want to find a white horse, but when they open their eyes, they find that there are grey donkeys everywhere in the world. 15. When you lose weight successfully, you will find that your ugliness has nothing to do with your fatness. 16. You can't see more positive things, just like you are poor. How can you see the lives of rich people every day? The more you look at it, the sadder it gets. It is better to watch more sad things and show your vitality. 17. Princess disease has two reasons: ugliness or poverty. What about the beautiful and rich one? Come on, that's not a disease, that's a princess. 18. When you grow up, you just don't want to eat rice, oil and salt when you are sad. Now I can go to the kitchen to make noodles for myself while crying, and I don't forget to add two poached eggs. 19. Sometimes two people who are chatting happily online don't talk so much as soon as they meet, probably because they can't send expression packs face to face. 20. An impulsive girl like me should give me a lot of money to calm me down. 2 1. In fact, the most disloyal thing in the world is money. We agreed to go out together, and then it wouldn't come back with me, wasting my heart and lungs on it. 22. There is no culture to learn, ugliness can be corrected, and there is really no rule of law if you are ruthless. Although ugly, buying beautiful clothes can be ugly. Every time I don't want to study, I tell myself in the mirror that if I grow up like this, I must study hard, otherwise others will say that that person has nothing but beauty. 25. As long as you are thin, everything is omnipotent. If you are fat, everything is useless. 26. What if my girlfriend is angry and unreasonable? Drop a cup on the floor and see if you can stop her. If you do, it's over. If you don't stop, kneel on the glass slag and finish it. 27. Happiness is to find someone who makes you desperately want to lose weight for him, but that person always pats your head and says, eat more and don't be hungry. 28. I suggest you go to bed as early as possible, do more exercise, don't eat supper, don't smoke or drink, go to bed early and get up early, and form good habits. Over time, you have no friends. 29. Who is smarter than a genius? You have no chance of winning. You should compete with his stupidity and win. 30. If you have money, you can say that money is earned. When there is no money, say that the money is saved. 3 1. Time tells me that the era of unreasonable troubles is over and it's time to install. 32. History is always strikingly similar. The year before last, last year and this year's Valentine's Day, I spent it all by myself. 33. Going home with my wife at night, suddenly three masked men jumped out of the roadside. "You two can only go one!" I said, "Wife, run!" "Watching his wife disappear, the three men took off their masks: God, is it so difficult to find you to play mahjong now? 34. I read a lot about the disadvantages of staying up late online. The biggest change for me is that I changed from a happy all-night to a fearful all-night 35. When you are alive, you will be laughed at at first, then you will laugh at others, and finally you will die laughing. 36. Flattery, if done well, is called confidence. Shameless, if done well, it is called excellent psychological quality. Don't wear a skirt when you go out recently, it's easy to be accosted. The weather is fine and the wind is not strong. 38. It's not your fault that you are ugly, it's your mother's fault, but it's your fault that you come out to scare people! 39. You said that money can't buy time? " Network management! Add two dollars. "You said money can't buy love?" Grandma, this is my gift. 40. Don't try to cling to a person's life, no one will keep eternal enthusiasm for parasites! 4 1. Don't play tricks between girls. Anyway, we will go to the square dance together in a few decades. 42. When you are lonely, just open your wallet and have a look, and your heart will be balanced in an instant. At least I have a wallet, and there is nothing in it! 43. If you can't find someone, don't always complain, but think more about your own reasons. Maybe it's because you are too kind to everyone. 44. I played with mosquitoes all night yesterday and was finally tied. It's not full, and I haven't slept well.