How can you live a good life without a direction in life?

Recently, there are always visitors who come to consult and ask, "Mr. Yilin, life has no direction." What should I do? " ? I am bored and desperate every day. What should I do? "

Actually, it's not a coincidence. The high incidence of such problems is basically at the end of the year.

Everyone is reviewing and summarizing, or looking forward to the future, and then you find that I have done nothing this year! There is no improvement in work and life. That's terrible! Then I was anxious. "20 17 what should I do? Without direction, is my life so bad? "

Therefore, you may ask, "I can't find the direction of life, and I can't find the meaning of life struggle." What should I do? "

In fact, in all fairness, for people who are confused and have no sense of direction, it is not impossible or conditional to find their own hard life direction within a short period of consultation (the case of vocational consultation spans two months); But for most people who don't try, accumulate and actively participate in life mentality, it is simply nonsense.

(Of course, if you have this kind of problem, you can choose our per-consultation, which has a long time span and a long company time, making it easier to adjust the rhythm. )

Yes, with a professional attitude and professional ethics, I will tell each other truthfully that it takes a long time to find the direction of life or the meaning of life, and some people will never find it.

This answer is really desperate! It must be cold in your hearts to hear me say this.

However, it is very important that having no direction in life does not mean that you have to be in a bad state all the time, nor does it mean that you can't live a bad life!

You know, there is no necessary causal relationship between the two!

In fact, I think there are usually several difficult periods every year, one is at the end of each quarter or in the middle of the year.

For the working group, the general company will hold a meeting at the end of the quarter or in the middle of the year to let everyone talk about their achievements in the past three months or six months. This kind of review is always painful; But fortunately, you can also comfort yourself: "There is still a lot of time this year."

Another uncomfortable time is the end of the year, which is now. It's depressing. Think back to the grand plans made at the beginning of the year: running a full marathon, losing 20 pounds of fat, raising salary 10%, getting rid of bills ... and so on. A series of good expectations were all dashed at the end of February, 65438+, and a voice laughed at you in your ear, "loser, I knew you were still there."

At this time, I will have great doubts and negations about myself. Then someone was ashamed and brave, and fought hard. Some people go all the way, and even end up with the problem that I don't have any direction and meaning in life, so I go all the way.

I believe that there must be many people who put the problem on "life has no sense of direction" because they have worked hard for a year without results, so as to alleviate their anxiety that they can't live a better life.

It seems that once the ideal of life is determined, you can run straight to the ideal kingdom and live the life I want, and all the very failed States I am facing at present will disappear. That ideal is like the light of heaven, shining on you and me all my life.

As a result, some people fall into the strange circle of "I can't change without finding my ideal". Then someone came to the counselor.

In fact, this is what I call a strange cycle-without direction, I have no motivation, I have no motivation, I have no action, I have no action, I have been down, and I have no direction-seemingly seamless logic is actually illogical.

What if you have to do something to find the direction?

This thing becomes: action-seeking-finding direction-continuing action-realization.

This seems to have little to do with whether your life is good or not and whether your state is healthy or not.

We might as well be practical and direct. If our living conditions are very bad, we can change this very bad state.

You know, sometimes, you can't see the direction, just because you don't have a positive attitude to invest in life. When you are not in a very depressed state, your actions will gradually let you see the direction, although it may take a little longer.

We want to live a better life, not simply relying on the brilliance of ideals, the guidance of goals, and the direction are very important, but it is difficult to reach the other side just by expecting ideals and goals. What is needed here is more courage to take the first step, persistence in every step, and a hobby to resist the boredom of life and make people happy.

Courage, or the spirit of daring to try without fear of failure. Courage, its appearance and danger will appear more or less together. When you feel the danger ahead, it is the time when courage appears, or when you exercise your courage.

If you have been in a certain environment, a certain career development path and a certain result, and haven't tried for a long time in the face of the unknown future, your courage may have disappeared. Sometimes, we need to face an uncertain future and make some attempts, even if we may fail.

But what I really want to say is, how many times in your life have you tried your best to no avail? ! Not too much. You just need a little courage to face the unknown and take a small step forward. Therefore, whenever you need to face it bravely, you might as well challenge it and exercise your courage when you seize the opportunity.

This is easy to say, but it is really difficult to do.

In fact, if you can do something well in the first 20 days, you can do it well in the second 20 days or even longer. Many people insist on giving up after two weeks.

For example, in the fitness team I led, at the beginning, everyone enthusiastically expressed that they would use various ways to lose weight and make themselves healthy. At first, everyone announced their daily or weekly plans together. In less than 65,438+00 days, half the people lost their voices. After 20 days, only 2-3 people still insist silently, most of them give up and find many excuses and reasons.

You know, it takes at least three weeks or even three months to produce effects and changes, and it takes at least six months for changes to make people around you find that you have changed. This is the time to form a habit and consolidate it.

One of my students saw my daily work schedule, and she was surprised. She said that you can accomplish so many things in one day, and then you still have time to play games, watch American dramas and write articles. How did you do that?

I said, do you have to spend a lot of time struggling with yourself every day? You have to linger or struggle for a long time before doing something that makes you feel particularly important, because you have to compete between "you want to play" and "you should do"! ? She said, yes, yes! ! !

You know, when you start to manage your energy carefully, you will become more and more free.

Getting into the habit of doing fixed things at fixed times will reduce your internal friction, and you will naturally do what you should do at the right time without any pain.

People who seem to have a normal working life say everything so simply because they insist on doing every link well for a long time.

So, do something for your change every day. Persistence is the second thing to make life better.

That's right, cultivate an interest that makes your blood boil and cheer you up when you are in a bad mood.

Look at what you are doing every day and what you are doing when you are not working.

I asked my visitors to record their days. To their surprise, he has so much time off work. What surprised them even more was that he spent so much time after work brushing Weibo's circle of friends and then Weibo's circle of friends.

That's what happened. You have no time to have dinner with your friends. I can only interact with my friends online, forward articles, take photos and praise them, and then feel good. After a long time, you will be immersed in a nihilistic short-term concern anxiety, and your energy and time will be consumed silently, but you will become more and more flustered and unable to devote yourself to one thing.

What will happen? While paying attention to others, you are also seeking attention and brushing your sense of existence. Your sense of existence or life satisfaction is based on this short and empty network concern, and the activities that really make people get more satisfaction, sense of accomplishment and even sense of existence are the creative process.

What is the creative process-active learning, conscious efforts to get a result (such as writing an article, drawing a picture, exercising to shape your body ...) This process will produce a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, which will further stimulate the secretion of dopamine in the brain. Dopamine can make people more passionate and feel less depressed. In a word, it will make you feel happy to really devote yourself to the field you are interested in, actively learn, experience growth and see the results, which is more powerful than reading countless articles on chicken blood.

Interest is something that can make you feel good and hopeful when you are in a bad mood, even if it is only for a short time.

Therefore, taking the time to cultivate an interest and bring your body and mind back to blood is the third thing you should do to live a good life.

One year, our company's "Be Yourself" forum invited an employee from a foreign company. She is in her early 30 s, young and beautiful, and is the mother of a 4-year-old child. The theme of her speech is: I have no dream.

It turned out that her physical examination two years ago found precancerous lesions (different from the severity of cancer cells), and she was very scared. With all kinds of terrible thoughts in her mind, she still wants to live, to watch her children grow up and to live a good life.

So she looked up a lot of books and materials herself, and finally she chose to be a vegetarian and went for a physical examination six months later. It is said that in principle, the growth of cancer cells depends on macromolecular protein, while vegetarians such as green leafy vegetables are small molecular protein. As for whether vegetarianism can cure cancer, I don't know. This is not the focus of my article. Her personal promotion is not representative, reminding readers to pay attention. )

She said that after all this, she didn't regret her unfulfilled dreams in this life, just like what was written in movies or books. On the contrary, she really feels that she just wants to live a good life every day, watch her children grow up, have a happy family and live a happy and ordinary life after work every day.

She is even greedy: more money, less work and being close to home, but in fact, her job is indeed like this.

She said in her speech, "I don't think I have to have a dream. Without a dream, I can live well and feel very happy. Being alive is a happy experience in itself. "

The story of this young mother may help us from another angle. Having no direction in life doesn't mean facing life negatively. There are many aspects in life that are worth your efforts. Don't take life without direction as an excuse for being passive and lazy.

Being alive is an experience. Can experience all kinds of life. Why do you have to have a dream and a direction in life? Isn't it worth your efforts to lead a normal life and make life more interesting?

People's life is not long, and what we have to do in this life is also very simple, how to spend the time from birth to death.

In fact, most of us have lived without a trace. When we were born, few people paid attention to you except your parents. When we die, we know nothing but the people we love, and we don't feel sorry for your departure-this is the beginning and end of our real life.

We are a dust in the universe, and the whole meaning of your life lies in your own talent. In these decades of running around, you can have 50% choices, and you can spend it how you want.

The direction or meaning depends on what you do and what kind of person you want to be.

Having said that, my idea is actually very simple and direct. If you want to live a good life, then find a way to live a good life. If you want to find a direction, try to find it. If you firmly believe that there is an inevitable connection between the two, then the inevitable connection between the two is:

"With direction, your life will be more meaningful!"

If you really can't find the direction of life, then try to make your life better, earn more money, eat something good, drink something good, use something good and comfortable, and then slowly find your own direction and dream.