Nonsense is sometimes the most beautiful love story.

Article |? Xueer

01

After losing, I realize that the nonsense I used to say is the most beautiful love words

My best friend Rong Rong, not long ago, when we went to have coffee with me, she revealed that she was deeply worried about her marriage, because she found that her chatty husband had become much quieter recently, and his communication with her had become concise and concise.

In the past, especially in the few years after their marriage, my husband talked a lot. Every day when he came back from work, he would take the initiative to "report" to her everything that happened throughout the day.

Once the chat box is opened, it is like a dam that has opened its gates and cannot be stopped.

Rongrong has said more than once that her husband will never cheat because he can’t hide whether he has a physical reaction to a beautiful woman on the road, and there is no place to hide his unclean thoughts.

But I don’t know since when, my husband’s words have become less and less. Even if Rongrong takes the initiative to ask, he only answers every question.

As expected, women's intuition is still very sensitive. It didn't take long for Rongrong's husband to file for divorce. When he told the reason, all relatives and friends called him hypocritical:

I'm talking. My wife always ignored me and didn't want to continue.

I treat you like a goddess and want to share every bit of my life with you, but you treat me like a nerve.

Love can be accommodated in many ways, but no one wants to remain humble in unrequited love.

In the minds of most of us women, a man’s expression of love should be full of poetry and picturesque, with eyes and faces full of doting, rather than nonsense such as eating, sleeping, and whether he is tired all day long.

If we hear a man say I love you to his wife, we will immediately react: Look at how good he is to his wife.

Is it so difficult to say "I love you" when the person next to me talks nonsense from morning to night, but none of it hits the point?

I have forced my husband to say the same sentence more than once. Sometimes when forced, he will read it mechanically, which makes people listen to it boringly.

Do you feel resentful when facing such a husband?

But one day, when he stopped talking nonsense, he suddenly felt how warm the nonsense was. It turns out that he has always been in my heart, but I didn't realize it.

02

The nonsense between husband and wife is the deep attachment to each other

It seems that most marriages will have such a process: when they are in love, they kiss as soon as they meet; After getting married, they started bickering as soon as they met; and then it got to the point where the two of them seemed to have agreed upon it, and both of them shut up as soon as they got home from get off work.

I once watched a movie called "Strangers at the Table".

There was a couple who had been married for many years and lived together every day, but had almost no communication with each other. The husband would come home on time every day, and except for a simple greeting when he came in, he never said anything to her about work or anything. Life-related matters,

Every time the wife wants to chat with her husband, she is turned away by her husband's indifferent expression.

Once, my wife accidentally picked up a voice recorder under the sofa. When she turned it on, the whole world was eerily quiet, except for the sounds of keyboards, chewing food, and occasional brief necessary conversations.

The two lovers who originally came together because of their love for each other vowed to stay with each other and treat each other as life when they entered the palace. But when the passion subsides and everything becomes routine, this promise becomes as insignificant as a blank piece of paper.

A psychologist once said:

Marriage is like a pas de deux. Both parties must find the possibility of coordination in constant concessions and advances. Among them, communication is like an art and the most unavoidable bridge to coordinate emotions.

At the end of the short film, facing a marriage on the verge of crisis, the husband realizes that his behavior has hurt his wife, and tries to communicate with his wife, talking and watching movies with her.

Those nonsense words that I originally thought could be omitted are actually expressions of love.

Research in the American magazine "Psychology" shows:

The real cause of marriages on the rocks is not the conflicts between husband and wife as previously generally believed, but the tendency of couples to care less after the marriage becomes dull. Dull and dull.

The so-called nonsense between husband and wife may seem trivial, boring, and irrelevant to the expression of emotions, but every sentence contains deep attachment to each other.

03

The love code of middle-aged people is endless nonsense

"Xin Xu Wei Young" said:

In fact , Love is sometimes very simple. It is nothing more than opening your eyes every morning to see the person you are thinking about, being able to sit with him on a sunny dining table, eating various exquisite side dishes, and chatting about homely things.

I have never felt that my parents had any love. It seemed that they were just a pair of partners, raising their children together and eating together.

There was hardly a word of love between them. Every day was just nonsense. It was nothing more than my mother nagging behind my father’s back:

“Smoke less.”

"That dress of yours is torn, don't wear it anymore."

"Your mother caught a chicken yesterday. How do you want to eat it? Stew or fry?"

"Let's go to the market tomorrow."

My dad probably said yes. When asked for his opinion, he would talk more nonsense. For example, he would analyze with my mother for half an hour whether the chicken was stewed or not. Good or fried, here’s another sentence at the end:

“Eat whatever you think is good.”

In fact, what dad said before was all nonsense, because in the end he still listened Damn it. But my mother happily listened to the whole thing like a obsessed girl, and finally went to play with her cock as if she had received an imperial edict.

When I was a child, I couldn't understand their drama at all. When I grew up and married someone else, I realized that this was the best relationship between husband and wife.

What neither the person asking nor the person saying really cares about is how to eat the chicken, but how they treat each other.

What my dad read into my mom’s nagging was “I care about you” and “I need you.”

But my dad responded to her nonsense with "I'm here" and "I'm with you."

This may be the love mentality of middle-aged people. I don’t need you to give me a luxury car or house, or sweet words. I just hope that every passing mark will be engraved with your instructions.

If one party does not respond to this, a rift will most likely occur, because they have already had a deeper understanding of marital life:

Silence is the beginning of alienation.

04

A good marriage is one where you have endless nonsense to talk about.

A good marriage requires each other to have the desire and need to talk to each other, and to have the desire and need to talk to each other at all times. respond.

In the TV series "Jewelry", Kang's mother and Kang's father have always had a good relationship. Although they are nearly sixty years old, when the two of them are together, they are always full of love and have endless things to say.

Talking about work, their daughter, and the past, their love is also endless in this endless "nonsense", which makes people envious.

In "Parental Love", the same goes for the father and mother. They sit on the bed and chat together every night before going to bed.

Just as San Mao said:

The life of a couple is trivial and specific. No matter how hard the life is and how simple the environment is, the couple can’t omit the part of talking nonsense and loving words together. , only in this way can marriage have vitality and vitality.

Finding something to talk about when you have nothing to say is a skill to maintain the sweetness of marriage. Some nonsense may seem useless, but it is actually essential.

The communication between husband and wife often does not have direct purpose and specific meaning, but is more of an expression of participation and care.

When my husband comes home from get off work and talks to his wife about the people and things in the workplace, and about the troubles or encounters at work, although he can’t change anything or help him, in his wife’s heart he feels like A sweet net has been cast, and everything in that net is what you care about.

It seems that nonsense can be said or not, but saying it and not saying it are really different.

We need to respond positively to our husband's nonsense report, and don't use "um" or "oh" to deal with it. When necessary, we should stop what we are doing and look at him with a smile. , giving affirmation, comfort, regret, surprise or happiness.

We need to let each other know: I am here.

I have read a psychological study:

If more than 90% of what a person says is nonsense, this person will be more likely to feel happy.

If the nonsense is less than 50, it is not easy for this person to experience the feeling of happiness.

Nonsense between couples not only promotes feelings but also increases the secretion of dopamine. In many ways, nonsense is an indispensable part of a good relationship.

Life is inherently difficult, so don’t hold back and worry about any rules when you return to the people you are closest to.

Talking about nothing and nothing is sometimes the most beautiful love words.