Cherish life and enjoy the moment - "This Life Is Not Completed"

The author of "This Life Is Not Completed" is Yu Juan. He holds a PhD in Economics from Fudan University and has experience studying in Norway. She was a lecturer who taught at the School of Social Development and Public Policy at Fudan University during her lifetime. She is the mother of a two-and-a-half-year-old child, the wife of a forty-year-old man, the wife of two sixty-year-olds, the sponsor of several out-of-school children, and a friend to many people.

If you look at these resumes alone, Yu Juan is undoubtedly the winner in life. In the past thirty-three years, under the care of love, she has achieved success and won countless flowers, praises, applause and envy. Yan, while gaining fame, also wins love, happiness, family, babies, friends, career... How chic, how romantic, how happy. But the sky was unkind and still took away Yu Juan's life.

In December 2009, she was diagnosed with breast cancer and was sentenced to only a year and a half to live. From then on, she struggled painfully on the edge of life and death. Big and small surgeries, chemotherapy, fighting cancer. In the process of fighting against the disease, she recorded the final journey of her life through her blog. On April 22, 2011, she celebrated her last birthday. On April 19, 2011, she passed away. During this period, she underwent the last round of chemotherapy, which was ineffective. Severe asthma, oxygen inhalation, unable to lie down, no appetite, nausea and vomiting, liver pain, pleural effusion...

1

Yu Juan is a very interesting woman, and her words are full of stories. She's cute, candid and optimistic. She said that she and her sisters in the same ward discussed making breast prostheses. Prosthetic breasts are very expensive, almost more than a thousand yuan each, and come with a special bra. Although many elderly aunties love beauty, they love money even more, so they think it is not very interesting to buy a cloth bag with more than 1,000 yuan, so they make prosthetic breasts by themselves. I tried cotton cloth, but when I squeezed into the bus, the cotton ball ran to my shoulders; I used mung beans to sew a pocket, and the mung beans sprouted due to nourishment by body temperature and sweat; rice sprouted because the weather turned hot; tea stems and leaves were too hard and they bloomed. The stabbing place where the knife was stabbed was unspeakable; I filled a balloon with water and stuffed it into my bra, only to burst it in the elevator...

Despite the pain of cancer, I still love life so much, love beauty so much, so much. Optimistic and humorous, he even used prosthetic breasts to laugh at himself.

She also talked about the aunts in the ward who wanted to commit suicide because of the torture of illness and the blow of life. In the end, they were grateful for the greatness and reluctance of life and finally did not die. During the online chat, the aunt asked Yu Juan if she had ever thought about death. She smiled and said nothing in the dark.

"Life and death, the former is like silk in the lingering wind to me; but death is too simple. Not only simple, but also happy and comfortable, without having to bear the pain of day and night eroding the bones. But death will make my loved ones in this world suffer the pain of losing their mother in childhood, losing their wife in middle age, and losing their children in old age. Although it is not up to me whether I can survive, at least I have to fight and struggle for my loved ones. . Suicide is absolutely impossible, because I am a mother, although I am very powerless as a mother. The only thing I can give my children now is a smile; the only thing I can do for my children is to be strong. I don’t know what else. You don’t have the opportunity to raise your children to be successful, but you can use today’s actions to tell your children: Your mother is not a coward, so when you encounter precious people and key things in your life, you must actively fight for them. You can fail, but you cannot give up.

I want to be a mother who makes my son proud. For this reason, I will never choose to leave on my own, no matter what the circumstances, even if it causes eternal pain. "

Death is easy. , life is also difficult. Perhaps this strength of a woman who is weak but strong as a mother is Yu Juan's own resilience.

2

When Yu Juan was in Norway, her friend’s lover planned to visit her, but unexpectedly, she went to check for a cough and found thymic cancer. Fortunately, it was in the early stage. The two met in the ward, one in the hospital bed and the other in a wheelchair. They laughed loudly when they met, and at the same time gave each other a thumbs up: "It's okay, we can hold on!"

The last time they met , the two of them are so in their prime, like eagles flapping their wings in the sky, waving their wings to meet in the sky next time.

This encounter was a greeting between the disgraced native chickens who were buried in the dust by fate but still smiled.

"However, who cares about being a falcon or a native chicken? Mei and I once thought that happiness can only be obtained by flying to the clouds. A sword in the hand can make us happy, but we don't know that the real ground is in the soil. Calm and warm happiness. One of us is lying in a hospital bed and the other is sitting in a wheelchair, but we are smiling happier and more relaxed than before. We are living the most authentic life, having the most authentic family affection, friendship and love, and experiencing the most authentic and simple life. It comes from the tenderness of the heart.

In the floating clouds, only floating clouds are seen, and the floating clouds are just floating clouds. After a year and several lives and deaths, I can sit at my desk and type, thinking about why I got cancer.

(1) Eating habits: Bad eating habits such as eating blindly, overeating, and craving for meat may lead to cancer. The casein in milk has a strong cancer-promoting effect. A diet based on animal foods will lead to the development of chronic diseases (such as obesity, coronary heart disease, tumors, osteoporosis, etc.); a diet based on plant foods It is the most beneficial to health and the most effective in preventing and controlling chronic diseases. That is, eat more grains, vegetables and fruits, and less chicken, duck, fish, meat, eggs, milk, etc.

(2) Sleeping habits: From 23:00 to 3:00 the next day, it is the time when the liver has the strongest activity, and it is also the best detoxification period for the liver. If the liver function does not get a rest, it will cause Relatively insufficient blood flow to the liver makes it difficult for damaged liver cells to repair and worsens. The liver is the largest metabolic organ in the human body, and damage to the liver can damage the entire body. Therefore, the statement that "staying up late for a long time is equal to chronic suicide" is not an exaggeration. Therefore, it is recommended that people go to bed from around 23:00 and enter a deep sleep state from 1 to 3 o'clock the next day to nourish the liver and blood.

(3) Unexpected homework: Failure to meet the deadline will stimulate Juan's enthusiasm for learning. We have always said that deadline is the primary productive force in our lives. This kind of behavior of never doing things slowly, but habitually doing high-intensity assault work like a man with a big axe, is the first culprit to damage the body's immune function.

(4) Environmental issues: Formaldehyde furniture is extremely harmful. The doctor said: Tumor masses are not easy to form. The occurrence of cancer requires a long-term, gradual process and goes through multiple stages. It usually takes ten to twenty years, or even longer, for normal cells to evolve into cancer cells and then to form tumors. When risk factors seriously damage the body's defense system, the body's repair ability is reduced, and intracellular genetic mutations accumulate to a certain extent, cancer can occur.

(5) Can’t see through: Too fond of being competitive, too fond of being the best in everything, too fond of taking charge of the overall situation, too fond of worrying, too unwilling to do nothing. "Only after I got sick did I realize that people should base their happiness on sustainable long-term life goals, rather than just looking at short-term fame, wealth, and power." Suddenly, I feel relaxed. I don't want to control the overall situation or meddle in other people's affairs. I no longer have opponents or enemies. I no longer care about who is better than whom, no matter the subject or the task. Let it go. See the flowers from the other side, the clouds are calm and the wind is gentle. "

?4

"At the critical point of life and death, you will find that no matter how hard you work overtime, Put too much pressure on yourself, the need to buy a house and a car, these are just clouds. If you have time, spend time with your children, use the money to buy a car to buy a pair of shoes for your parents, don't go all out to buy a big house, and People who love each other are together, and their home is warm."

After one round of chemotherapy, Yu Juan returned home, and her 19-month-old son Tudou lay on her knees, singing sweetly. Only mother is good in the world, and a mother’s child is like a treasure.” She shed tears and thought: Maybe just a little bit, my child turned into grass. She also wrote: "Even if it hurts me so much that I can't move, I lie on the intersection of Zhengli Road, Cathay Road, with dirty clothes and dirty face every day, and let thousands of people scold me and trample on me, as long as I can look at my parents I am also willing to hold Tudou’s hand and go to kindergarten.

"There is also a bald husband who is also a young scholar. He wipes the skin of his wife who has necrotic bones all over her body and can't take care of herself every day. The most common sentence he says is "I beg God to let you live and let me wipe your butt like this for fifty years."

What a lovely, simple and affectionate family. But in the end, Yu Juan left. ?5

A woman is always the best when she is pregnant. The most beautiful and touching thing. In this book, Yu Juan wrote a chapter specifically about her pregnancy and her pregnancy journey.

"Xu is too old and deserves to go through this." We have experienced it all; Xu is too young and has not yet experienced what he should experience. Because I am no longer green, I will no longer pretend to think about what time is and what life is. Because I am not mature yet, I will not think about achievements, gains and losses in such a conclusive way. The days that should have passed day by day, the current world is stable, and the quiet years should be the most stable background of real life. As for life dreams, and making a belief is like the golden thread that is the icing on the cake. If it is not allowed, it will be embroidered and there will be no icing It’s nothing, that’s all. After all, people can't live without a bad temper, but they don't just live with that bad temper.

She writes about being separated from her son for the first time. "This night of tossing and turning made me understand that my mother-in-law said to get used to it first, not to let the baby get used to leaving me, but to get me used to leaving the baby. I actually fell to the point where I couldn't stay more than two meters away from him.

The independent and free self-world I had built for more than thirty years collapsed quietly on that night with many dark blue stars in the sky, leaving no trace behind. I discovered with infinite sadness that I could no longer be like myself. The flow of hope is like flowing water, without any ties or attachments. I can no longer walk away. This different feeling of bondage makes me feel strange and frightened. This is a feeling I have never had before, and I can't describe it. The attachment and reluctance are soft, warm and sad.

"I don't know if I have the chance to raise a child to be a talented person, but I can use today's actions to tell my child: Your mother is not a coward, so in the future." In your life, when you encounter key people and precious things, you must actively strive for them. You may fail, but you cannot give up. "

This is all the love and reluctance of a mother, and all the excitement and insights of a first-time mother. She loves her children deeply, and hopes to raise her children to become talents and accompany them to grow up. She was able to be the support and pride of her children, but in the end she only had regrets. ?6

Apart from being a cancer fighter, Yu Juan was actually a very good person. The glorious resume can be seen from the articles she wrote before she became ill. She was a very talented and noble woman.

"She grew up so quietly. When you are a child, you are innocent if you don't understand many things. When you grow up, you are stupid if you don't understand anymore. I have always liked a simple world and concise things, and I have also always liked my own simple and transparent world. It is so simple that it is troublesome to fall in love, and it is so simple that when you get married, you decide one minute to go to the Civil Affairs Bureau the next minute. At the age of seventeen, I know that relationships are the most troublesome, and at the age of twenty-three, I know that money and power are the most terrifying, so stay away and keep away. Purity is the most important thing. As long as you can survive it, it is best to have less involvement.

“The older people grow up, the less they know what they want, and the less they know what they want, the more they will think about what they want.

I don’t know what kind of life I want, but I know that as long as I take it tolerantly and seriously, then life will not treat me badly. Life is like a chapter. I don’t expect this chapter in 2006 to be good or bad. Even if there is Just think of it as an etude from 2007. I have a score in my heart, and on the strings of the years, it is gradually moving toward perfection. "

Perhaps, a truly happy and successful person should put his personal music into perspective. The value realization should be integrated into the lofty social cause and the unity of social value and personal value should be realized.

I always believe that everyone has a will to do good, or it is called a heart candle. Being kind, tolerant, and compassionate can brighten people's hearts and eyes, and then ignite the light of the world with many bright and gentle hearts.

I vaguely remember my mentor’s words, saying that intellectuals with conscience are the backbone of China.

I didn’t quite understand it at the time, but now I’m starting to understand its true meaning. Intellectuals should be the supervisors and critics of society. Practicing compassion for the world and thinking and doing things for the people, like Fei Xiaotong.

When I was in my early twenties, I often felt that I was different, destined to be independent and act out my own life story that was different from those around me. In recent years, I feel more and more that I am nothing more than an ordinary person, living a life of smooth destiny in a warm environment like everyone else. Today I still have dreams and am still inspirational, but I have begun to believe that God also tells white lies. The phrase "nothing is impossible" does not suit my reality.

7

He and his husband have been in a relationship since they were seventeen years old. She gave her husband the best time in her life when gardenias bloomed, such youth.

When we first met, her husband was admitted to Shanghai Jiao Tong University to study for a doctoral degree, and Yu Juan was admitted to the undergraduate program. The first time we met was at the English Corner of Drinking Water and Siyuan at Jiaotong University. Yu Juan had a round face, wearing overalls, smiling broadly, and joined the discussion. He was moved by Yu Juan's directness and boyishness, and he fell in love with her from then on.

Yu Juan is a talented woman who likes ancient poetry and writing, and continues to publish articles in some publications.

In 1999, he stayed at the school to teach, and Yu Juan decided to apply for graduate school at Fudan University. In 2001, he went to Japan for a year. His professionalism, busy work, and fresh environment prevented him from feeling the pain of lovesickness. She was preparing for Fudan University with all her strength, and the same must have been the case. In early 2002, he returned to China. Yu Juan was a graduate student at Fudan University, and they became a weekend couple. In 2004, Yu Juan decided to study abroad at the University of Oslo, Norway. Obtained a master's degree in January 2007. After returning to China, the pressures of life gradually accumulated: work, doctoral thesis, childbirth, and economic conditions. Later, due to an unexpected pregnancy, everything got the motivation to run again.

?Yu Juan described their years like this: "He needed to go to Japan for work, and I said, go ahead, go and develop more while you are young. I needed to study, and came to Northern Europe, and he said, go ahead. Go ahead and learn more while you are young to lay the foundation for the future. Maybe love should not be the antonym of freedom. Maybe the deeper reason is that you just want the other person to do what he wants, and the world will still be wonderful without the other person.

I envy these two people who have stayed together all the way. They both love each other and work hard for their own future. They encourage each other and work hard together. Heading towards a better future.

Now that I am a graduate student, I am still filled with emotions when I read this book again. I think of myself in the past and the warrior Yu Juan. The more I admire her as an intellectual with lofty ideals, I hope to become someone like her.

At the same time, I will also pay attention to my health and health, hoping not to leave any pain to my family; take care of myself. Cherish life, spend more time with your parents, make more friends, enjoy every moment, and strive to be the person you want to be.

After reading "This Life Is Not Completed", there seems to be no better language other than sighing and sadness. I hate the sky for taking away such an intellectual with lofty ideals, such a woman with a loving and warm family. She was a mother, a wife, and a daughter. Her departure is a tribute to all those who loved her and her friends. It brought sorrow. She was so selfless and wanted to do something fearless and enlighten the world through her own experience. A person with such a high level would be as open-minded and transparent as a monk in his final days. May there be no illness in heaven. , may her family be well!