Excerpt from "The Past of Lichuan"

1. "I always walk without looking at the ground." I said.

"I often look at the ground, and I look at it for you." He said, "But you have to hold my hand all the time."

2. "Little Qiu, you are a god, you are a living treasure, you discharge electricity everywhere, and I feel like I am facing an abyss."

Excerpt from "Lonely City":

1. My answer is: "Ruocui." The young master has led me astray, so I don’t want to follow the right path in this life.” 2. “Brother,” the princess called me expectantly with clear eyes. I was caught off guard and lost my armor.

3. She drew a conclusion for me and then told me the answer she thought was appropriate, "You can say this: 'The shadow is at the princess's feet, and the good luck is in the princess' heart.'"

I think she didn't realize the ambiguity in the meaning at all, and just stated it as a fact, for example, clouds float on the mist, and poplar flowers float

on the palace wall.

When a person loses a loved one, it is like when a person is seriously ill. She cannot bear to see anything unpleasant. At this time, she will not listen to your explanation. Any more words you say may make her even more sad. , so it’s best not to go against her will. It’s always good to avoid her. "

The princess took a plate of stuffed plums from my hand, held it in her arms and ate one by one. She occasionally looked up at her father, and saw that he was always looking at him with a smile, so she said again: "Dad, I also want to ask you to promise one more thing. "

"Oh, what? "

"When I am angry in the future, you bring delicious food over again. If you ignore me or say you don't want it, don't give up. You must force it on me." "

Jinshang smiled, still holding the princess's hand and walking slowly, with a gentle and calm tone, "But, Huirou, the more we like someone, the less we can let others see that we like her. To express his love for her is to put her at the forefront of the storm and make her the target of public criticism. Overt and covert attacks will follow one after another, and will eventually harm her. "

"Haha," Jinshang stroked her hair, "Maybe. After a pause, he added, "Just remember this." If you really like someone, don't be too nice to him, don't let others find out, and don't even let him realize how much you like him..."

After returning home, he immediately picked up a pen and wrote The next section, "Partridge Sky": "When we meet on a narrow road with painted hubs and carved saddles, there is a heartbreaking sound in the embroidered curtains. There is no colorful phoenix flying wings in the body, but there is a clear understanding in the heart. The house is made of gold, the cage is made of jade, the carriage is like flowing water, and the horse is like a dragon. Liu Lang already hated that Pengshan was far away, but it was tens of thousands of meters away. "

While chanting clearly, he replied: "The water in Canglang is clear, so I can wash my tassel; the water in Canglang is turbid, so I can wash my feet." ”

Then, she shook my hand and said seriously, “Whoever bullies you again in the future must let me know.” I know you will take a deep breath, but I just want to protect you. ”

What I saw before me was a garden full of spring scenery, but I felt as if I was alone in the wind of fallen trees, letting it blow my heart to a state of desolation.

After the first chorus, the two began to play together. The sounds of konghou and flutes interweave and reappear, like hibiscus weeping dew, and fragrant orchids blowing in the wind. The listeners hold their breath and listen quietly. Sometimes it feels like touching the gentle breeze and drizzle, sometimes like bathing in the dim light of the cold moon. It is better to keep the dense leaves and flowers in the middle. The new nest attracts the young. The king's heart is full of old feelings. The rising sun shines brightly on the curtain. The beauty is easy to fall, so how can the colorful clouds continue to live? Remaining fragrance. In the time of mourning, there is no one in Zhuge, but the summer is long. But I think what he really wants to express is in the fourth poem: The old days are still there, people are gone, and the flowers are blooming, but the Holy Lord is hurt. Smart and colorless, no need for the incense of returning to the West.

"My greatest wish is to be a normal man... but it is destined to be impossible to realize in this life." The ideals that eunuchs like us can possess are as incomplete as our bodies. " He said calmly, slowly looking around the room - the withered wintersweet was still in the vase on the table. "However, I have found a worthy person. She is almost perfect and should have a perfect life. Life. I hope to help her realize all her wishes, even die for her, live for her... If there is any joy in my life, then this is it.

"

"Shou Zhong," I spoke later, calling Ren Shouzhong who was standing in front of the palace, "you can fold some flower branches and send them to the queen, and tell me a few words: The wind is sunny today, and the sun is shining brightly. The jade sky is clear, and it must be a good night at night. Why not go to the Houyuan Water Hall and enjoy the bright moon among the pines? ”

Suddenly, two drops of hot liquid seeped into my chest, right at the position of my heart. I couldn’t help but tremble, as if I had been burned. I sat down at the head of her bed and looked at She was lying on her side next to me, searching for my shadow reflected in her eyes, and said slowly: "It is a pleasure to change poems for you... not only to change poems, but also to teach you how to read and answer your questions. , and even ghostwriting and writing essays for you, it is all a pleasure...

Of course, I did it a lot in the past, and occasionally felt a little annoyed, but now that I think about it, even that unbearable annoying feeling is Happy...I want to always be by your side and do everything you want me to do. When it rains, I hold an umbrella for you; when the wind blows, I add clothes for you; when you study, I order tea for you; when you play the harp, I play the flute for you; when you laugh, I stay behind you. Laugh, if you cry, I can hand you a clean sleeve at any time... Every one of these things is happy to me, so I am very afraid that one day I will not see you, because What you take away then will be all my happiness. "

I kept my sigh in my heart, sat down next to her silently, thought about it, and said to her: "There are always some things that will never change, no matter you are eight or nine years old, eighteen or nineteen." Years old, still eighty or ninety years old. "

"What? "She asked me with tears in her eyes.

"For example, my sleeves, your shadow, and..." I didn't go on, but stretched out my hand to her

Briefly After silence, the queen continued: "The curves are perfect, the depressions are full, the less is gain, and the more is confusion. You will probably understand this. Holding it and filling it is not like a long stream of water. If you are too close now, it will easily lead to disaster. Moreover, you are a smart child and you should know that there are always some taboos that should never be touched; some mistakes will be irreversible if you make them once. ”

She drank another full glass of wine for this reason, and then she was still immersed in this idea, “If I don’t become a princess, what will I do...” Her eyes drifted to the lotus-shaped pouring bowl

Suddenly an idea came to my mind, "Let me be a lotus. It will grow on the Qiu River every year. It would be great to watch the distant shadow of the sail and the rolling clouds. It would be great to be free." "

I followed her words, and a beautiful picture appeared in my mind, and I couldn't help but raise the corners of my lips. When she saw it, she said again and again: "Don't laugh yet, tell me about yourself, what do you want to do?

What? "

My eyes gently caressed the corners of her eyes and eyebrows, and I said with a smile: "If you were a lotus, then I would be the waves under your flowers and leaves, so that we can stay together year after year.

Follow the wind and rain for a long time. ”

I drank another drink silently, and then I took advantage of my gradually rising drunkenness to tell her: “I hope that no matter how we tailor our memories, we can still appear in each other’s lives.” . "

After pondering for a moment, I finally decided to open my heart to her: "My queen, the princess is different from you. Empress is a tall and tall kapok plant that can grow independently and bloom beautiful flowers on its stretched branches. But the princess is a wisteria with slender vines and cannot survive alone. She needs to be connected to the tree so that the flower spikes can bloom on the branches. When she couldn't find a tree that she thought she could rely on for parasitism, she temporarily used Chen as a support for climbing up the tree... Chen knew that this was inappropriate, but he really didn't have the courage to refuse her climbing. "

The queen sighed and looked at me with emotion:

"But, Huaiji, she is a wisteria, but you are not an arbor. You cannot withstand her climbing... ...You are calm and clear. If you use plants to describe you, it should be a herb like Duro or Hemerocallis? Born in the water

In the valley beside the water, singing the wind and drinking the dew, pure and inactive. It was good to be alone in this way, but getting entangled with the vines would not only be useless to her, but would also endanger her own life. I pondered for a moment, bowed to her solemnly, and then said: "I can understand the Queen's teachings."

However, I am still willing to spend thousands of days alone facing the flowing water in the distant spring

in exchange for one day of dependence on her when she is helpless. "Feeling her surprised gaze, I reluctantly raised the corners of my lips: "Actually, my wish is to become an arbor. ”

Thinking about this question, I looked back with sadness. My moist eyes met the rain and wind flakes scattered all over the sky. I looked at the Tianjia City in the distance covered under the light ink smoke clouds. I looked towards this deeply locked city. I bid my last farewell to the city of my beloved.

I bowed my eyebrows and saluted him sincerely, and then said to him: "The Jade Lord is not here, although I have heard of the ceremony in the past; Colorful clouds are easy to disperse, and you should forgive those who have made mistakes. "

"Princess," I looked at her back as she left me and said softly, "As you said, in this life, in addition to the princess and the minister, we may also have some other relationships, such as Friend, brother and sister, master and disciple...if you allow me to overstep. However, there is one thing that can never exist between us, and that is a couple, or a lover. This was already doomed when I entered the palace. My mutilated body made it impossible for me to be the husband or lover of any woman. I could neither have sex with them nor make them have children and extend their lives. . Placing your feelings on people like me is like loving an artifact or a scroll of calligraphy and painting. You may get temporary spiritual comfort, but you cannot get real worldly warmth. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life. You should

have a perfect life. When you were a daughter, you were loved by your parents. When you were married, you were cared for by your husband. joy. And this is exactly what I can't give you. "

The queen frowned, but finally did not refute the princess. She kept a quiet posture and listened to her words: "He can understand all my joys and sorrows, and has experienced them with me. Joys and sorrows. Madam, do you know that he is such a person: when you are happy and carefree, he retreats silently and is willing to be the shadow behind you, but when you are in adversity, sad and helpless, he will reach out to you again A helping hand to save you from addiction... He is the best person in the world to me besides my father and mother. Even if everyone in the world abandons me, he will still protect me. And he treats me wholeheartedly, and I will never worry about him betraying me, hurting me, or alienating me for other women. "Daddy said that I am attached to Huaiji. Yes, I admit that I am indeed attached to him, just like a storm is attached to the roof of the country, and a traveler is attached to the distant mountains in the sky." Faced with the fate you arranged for me, I thought about dying several times, but the reason why I am still alive is because every time I look behind me, I can see him there... The most fearful thing for me is not death. , but live a long life, but never see him again.

She looked back at me and said, "Sir, you are also to blame for the princess being like this." You protected her too well and refused to let her suffer any harm, but some pain must be experienced in life, just like falling is inevitable if you want to learn to walk. If she had stayed with the captain when she first surrendered, the situation would not have been as out of control as it is now. He sighed, "Appreciating and cherishing without always thinking about how to possess them is the true meaning of loving people and things." I blinked my eyes to hide the moisture in my eyes, and then said to the princess: "Father gave birth to me, mother bowed to me." Pick me up, feed me, grow me up and nurture me. Take care of me and return to me, enter and exit my belly. The virtues that desire to be repaid, Haotian is extremely ignorant... In the past twenty years or so, I have often felt regretful that I could not repay my parents for their kindness, because I never even had the opportunity to be filial to them. It is a rare blessing that the princess can grow up beside her parents, not to mention that they all cherish the princess so much... The official family often mentions the grace of Queen Mother Zhang Yi, and the official family's kindness to the princess will not be ignored by the princess. ? "I will still accompany you," I told her. "When you admire the moon, I will be in a corner of the palace, bathing in the same moonlight as you; when you visit the garden, I will stand beside you." Outside the palace walls, where your breeze can touch, I can smell the fragrance of flowers passing by you; when you were practicing the konghou, I was still not far from you, and maybe I took out my flute and played the same tune as you. The music...although it can't follow it as closely as before..." Looking back at the peach blossom branches, there are no bamboo branches sticking out.

I originally thought that the princess had left, but as I stood there, I heard a faint sigh sent by the breeze across the wall. I walked forward slowly, put my hands on the pink wall of the courtyard, and faced the direction where she might be. Maybe she is behind this wall; maybe she is touching the wall with her hand, searching for my direction; maybe at this moment, our palms are facing each other, and our eyes are crossing each other on both sides of the red wall barrier...

The wind is blowing. Will she be cold? I stretched out my hand.

Can she still feel some warmth?