It is difficult for me to face death calmly. Maybe my realm is not high enough!

My colleague Xiao Li sat down across the table from me with a sad look on his face.

I put down the things I had packed and put away my heart that was about to leave.

“In the past month, I have been in a state of confusion, as if I couldn’t wake up every day. Ever since I learned that my father had cancer, my heart has been like a fish under the water. I feel breathless, weak, and like a zombie. I don’t know what I did.”

“I usually feel that I am quite open-minded. Everyone will return to dust and dust in the next life, and no one is exception. However, , when the cruel reality is really vivid in front of me, my heart feels so dull and boring, and I can’t come out for a long time, but I don’t want to look up at the sun in the sky, it feels dazzling.”

I looked at her as if! As he spoke thoughtfully, his mood couldn't help but become heavy. Faced with such a topic, I really couldn't say anything. I could only comfort her with a few words, but these seemed very pale. It is difficult to truly empathize with her in the world, because everyone's experience is different, and besides, I have never experienced her. Things now.

"In the face of death, I now really feel that I cannot be as calm as I thought. I thought I would not be in so much pain. But now it seems that I still cannot accept the death of my loved ones. I still will It’s extremely painful. I’m not high-minded enough.”

People always analyze things calmly and consider all aspects. Because they stay out of the matter, they don’t get emotionally involved, but when they really face things themselves. Another situation! However, this kind of thing is always difficult for outsiders to analyze. I could only look at him and her sadly, showing the same sad expression as hers to express my greatest comfort to her.

"We are all the most ordinary and insignificant members of the world. We do not have profound knowledge, prominent family backgrounds, or huge wealth, so family ties are our biggest concern in this world. How many people are so lofty as to be transcendent and can face it calmly? Because you and I are too ordinary, this emotion is too normal!" I finished speaking quietly and looked at her with a sad face.

Before he died, Socrates was still giving lectures to a group of disciples such as Plato. After he calmly drank the poison, he said: "Now I am going to die, and you continue to live. Which one is more important?" Happiness is known only to God.” The highest goal pursued by philosophy is to make the soul free from the body and exist independently, and death is to make the soul completely free from the body. Therefore, in the eyes of philosophers, death is a new beginning.

Perhaps great men have the realm of great men. We, the specks of dust in this world, even though we live so hard, are still greedy for the mortal world. Think about it carefully, is it the beauty of the world that we are greedy for, or the love for family? Reluctantly, I really can’t tell the difference when I think about it.

My cousin's mother has Alzheimer's disease. She doesn't know how to eat or drink every day. She lies in bed, can't go to the toilet, and can't help herself. My cousin also has three younger brothers. One of them doesn't take care of much, while the other counts the days to take care of him. He has to endure the abuse from his wife from time to time. The last wife will not let him take care of him at all. Otherwise, he will curse and curse his ancestors for generations, so he has no choice but to do it. Privately give money to my cousin so that she can take care of my mother more, in order to do my best. This is really hard work. My cousin took her mother directly to her home. The brothers took care of her for a few days, but she had to run to her parents' home every three days and two noon. The stupid mother acted stupidly and pulled my cousin's hair hard, using Slap her across the face. It is said that there is no dutiful son in a hundred days, but my cousin has remained the same for the past two or three years. Every once in a while, she will drag my mother to the hospital for treatment and to buy medicine. In such a sad life, my cousin's tenacity is like the humblest grass in the world. When it encounters the spring breeze, it immediately becomes full of vitality. Even if she is tired and sad, she will still be lush and green afterwards, because the whole world in her family needs her. Use some bright colors to embellish it, otherwise it will be dark.

Every time we talked about it, my cousin felt guilty about her mother, saying that those two years delayed her mother's illness. Now my mother has become stupid and doesn’t even know how to be ashamed. Many people say that she serves too well. In fact, she is suffering while living, and her children suffer too. I understand all these principles, but they are nothing compared to my cousin's affection for my mother.

This kind of entanglement of family affection tears the hearts of family members. Those who are sick cannot feel their own pain. The so-called pity and pain are also considered by normal people who are alive.

Many of us, when we are conscious, will say: When I get old, I won’t be a drag on my children, I can just take some medicine and die. Who wouldn’t take that path? But who will know what will happen when the day comes? Do you have any regrets or attachment to the world? Will it be possible to get what I want by then? More often than not, children don't want to leave any regrets, and want to take better care of their parents.

This world is often entangled with various emotions. Because people have seven emotions and six desires, people in the world live in various ways!

Not only did I think of Qiong Yao and her husband Ping Xintao, Qiong Yao removed the tube for her husband. She couldn’t bear her husband to suffer such pain again and chose euthanasia. However, her husband’s children from his ex-wife refused to admit it. , so a conflict broke out on Facebook.

In October 2014, Ping Xintao asked Qiong Yao to write a letter on his behalf. The letter was written to his children and was an explanation of what happened after his death:

"1. When I was critically ill (Ping Xintao originally wanted to write that I was in a coma, but "critically ill" was changed based on Qiong Yao's suggestion) Please don't send me to the intensive care unit. I don't want any tubes or medical equipment to keep me alive, let alone die in the cold intensive care unit. 2. So, whether it's tracheotomy, electric shock, or intubation. , nasogastric tube, urinary catheter... all are not required, so that I can walk cleanly."

Qiong Yao refused to have a nasogastric tube inserted. Ping Xintao's son said: "If I don't help him insert it, I will first see the critical illness notice."

When people get old, they may not even be able to choose their own way of death, because they still cannot There are many people who are named after their relatives and will have various reasons to satisfy their own wishes. They do not want to regret letting their relatives go. As children, they also want to show their last filial piety, etc. Harmonious families are all the same, and disharmonious families have their own disputes. This is also a kind of entanglement of family affection!

I have a friend whose mother is old and has been bedridden for several years. The relationship between him and his sister is not very good. It is very painful for him to see his mother bedridden all year round. , the key is that his mother has a valuable property in her name.

So something happened: One day, he invited a master on the grounds that his mother was in great pain, and asked the master to tell him how he could let his mother die peacefully and leave early to reduce the current pain. The master didn't want to tell him because it would harm his moral integrity and longevity, but he and the master had been friends for many years. The master couldn't resist asking again, so he told him: "You burned your mother's underwear at night. Of course." You can’t do it in front of her, so that your wish can be fulfilled!”

Later, his mother passed away not long after, but he didn’t know that he really did what the master said! Okay, is this method so effective? Or is this the end of his mother's life? Anyway, left. The property that he and his sister had a dispute with originally also fell into his name. He also got his wish

However, within a year, he got cancer and quickly lost weight in the hospital. I met him again by chance on the street. His energy was indeed not as good as before. His head was covered with white hair and his eyes were helpless. He was unable to stand up due to his weak legs and was sitting in a wheelchair. People can't help but think of what he did to his mother. Maybe he just talked about it and never did it, but he had thought about it.

Later, later, I never saw him again!

Is it a coincidence that things in this world are so incredible? , no one can tell! If it's filial piety, maybe people will understand it, but if there's even a tiny bit of benefit mixed in, it will immediately become another version, which is a world of difference!

When we look back at history, we have experienced all kinds of life and seen all kinds of endings. After a person has completed his journey in the world, he cannot take away a single cloud with a wave of his hand. Even if slaves and maids were buried with him, and he was stuffed with tons of wealth, would it still be of any use?

I remember that my mother would often say to me: "Your grandma never had a good life. She ate chaffy vegetables and ran around. Because she was honest, she was often bullied. I am the most unfilial daughter. She was not allowed to enjoy a good life for a day. Alas! If only she could live ten more years, she would be able to enjoy some happiness. "So my mother cried very sadly when grandma left.

A person lives in her own era and lives the way she lived in that era. This is the mark of the times.

Looking at the situation of people in the past with the life of a few decades later, it will inevitably become more miserable. So when my mother cries about grandma, she cries about the sorrow of her life. The pain is about her own powerlessness and her inability to change grandma when she is old. The more you think about your life, the sadder it becomes.

We ordinary beings will have a lot of helplessness in this world, a lot of hearts but not enough energy, leaving a lot of worries and regrets. Those who leave leave and enter another world. Whether there is sorrow, wealth or poverty, we don’t know these. But it left behind a lot of longing and sadness, which will always be planted in the hearts of living people.

"We cannot change many things. Birth, old age, illness and death are also normal in this world. While my father is still alive, we will use our best efforts to make his future life as less painful and more happy as possible. Let’s have less regrets for ourselves, let’s have less pain and self-blame in the future, and try to see the diseases that need to be seen. If we can’t get out of the dull mood, we can’t solve any problems, and we can’t change the current situation of my father’s body. "After I said these pale words, I looked at her helplessly in silence.