Awkward! I have mastered 18 kinds of baby-giving skills, and now I need a man.

Guidance: On the way to send my little niece to school in the morning, she said to me mysteriously: Aunt, I have mastered 18 baby-coaxing skills, and now you just need to give me a baby. After hearing this, I cried: Your aunt, I have mastered 18 kinds of baby-giving skills, and now I need a man!

1. A beautiful new female colleague came, and a male colleague coughed twice in front of her. She said very gently, "Have a cold?" My colleague was a little excited: "Well, a little!" Female colleague: "Then you stay away from me."

2. It is said that if you want to catch a man's heart, you must first catch his stomach. After my girlfriend's cooking, I feel that she can only catch my body.

3. I bake sweet potatoes. At first, my family opposed me, and my friends around me didn't like me, saying it was too hard. But after my efforts, the situation has finally changed. I use my actual actions to prove that baking sweet potatoes is not only hard, but also unprofitable.

4. Me: Do me a favor. The friend said: as long as it's not borrowing money, everything is easy to say. Me: Introduce me to a girlfriend. I've been single for twenty years ... Friend: Otherwise, I'll lend you some money!

5. I didn't know until I met the head teacher of the primary school today that the only three-good student award in my whole study career was because the teacher bought too many awards that year! I think I can't sleep tonight ...

6. My friend came to me for a loan when he was in financial crisis. Seeing that I was a little reluctant, he immediately helped me remember the past. He said, "Think about it. You were too poor to buy a pair of pants. Who lent you a skirt?"

7. Before the third grade of primary school, I went to a school with Mongolian and Chinese classes, and the ethnic struggle was very fierce. I'm the only one who falls during recess and comes to the Han class, so I won't be wiped out. I didn't know I was actually a Mongolian until I filled in my hukou when I transferred to school. It was a summer afternoon, and at the age of ten, I realized the pain of Xiao Feng, a Khitan.

8. "Girl, you make me so sad!" The girl said, "I didn't offend you, did I?" "You didn't mess with me ... you lean over! The underground iron gate allows you to block this tightly. "

9. Sometimes you never know how big your potential is unless you push yourself. It's just like if you give me 1 kilograms of bricks, maybe I can't carry them, but if you give me 1 kilograms of hundred-dollar bills, I can not only carry them, but I'm not sure I can run.

1. I saw a fat girl walking slowly on the treadmill in the gym. I went to remind her, "Sister, you have to speed up, or you won't lose weight." Sister listened to the wronged answer: "I adjusted it quickly, but it slowed down as soon as I stepped on it!" "

12. One day when I was walking in the street, I met a fortune teller, so I hung up. When he took my hand, I suddenly fell on my knees. I was shocked. He said, "You have the image of the emperor." I slapped him in the face: "You fucking scared me to death!"

13. The traffic police stopped the uncle who was riding a bicycle, smiled and said, "Grandpa, you can't ride on this road. How dangerous it is for so many cars. You should ride on the non-motor vehicle lane." "Come on, I still want to live. You let them run on the road of flying motor vehicles. "

14. In class today, the math teacher was talking about horns in class. Suddenly, he saw a classmate deserting, so he asked him to count the horns. Only that classmate made a wonderful move: he quickly squatted down and began to count his classmates' feet. Suddenly the whole class laughed.

15. On the bus, an old man fell asleep and leaned on the back of a young man behind him. The young man acts as a "human cushion" and stays standing for 2 minutes until the old man gets off the bus. The college student said in an interview: "I didn't think too much at that time, so I thought it was a girl behind me."

16. I'm a female. Once I went back to school, I had a good chat with a big brother on the train. After I got off the train, I took his car back to school and his son came to pick me up. I went back to the dormitory and called my mother to talk about the dormitory. I came back by free car. Mother said, "Daughter, don't dare to do anything just because you are ugly!" " A bolt from the blue Is this still your own mother? How ugly I really am.

17. In the subway, there was a middle-aged man with crutches and a cast on his left leg. Holding an enamel bowl with a few coins in it, it reached out in front of me and gently shook it. I slowly raised my head, looked at him deeply, and said, "Brother, what kind of injury did your leg get? It's been more than two years, and it hasn't improved at all." He turned silently and walked to the next carriage!

18. One day, a man went to a health care product store. After entering the store, he picked up an inflatable doll and ran away. When the boss saw it, he chased after it for ten blocks. The man stopped and said, How can you chase me so far for an inflatable doll with a price of 288 yuan? Only heard the boss reply: this is the proprietress!

19. Because the bus was too crowded, the driver braked suddenly, and a young man lost his center of gravity. He accidentally pressed his hand on the private parts of the middle-aged woman next to him, and quickly said Sorry, the middle-aged woman was in a hurry, and you only had a coquettish taste when I said you were a hooligan. The whole car was quiet ...

2. I was working overtime at night, and I was sitting in front of the computer sorting out the information. Suddenly, a female colleague came up to me in tears and cried, "55555, my colleagues bullied me and said that I was scared to death." "Don't listen to their nonsense!" After half an hour, I finally woke up and comforted her.

21. Yesterday, an electrician in his fifties abducted a cleaner in his forties from the company next door! I mean, it's all dancing!

22. "Have you ever held a boy's hand?" "Arm wrestling …" I will never forget this conversation.

23. Recently, there has been a new leader in the department. As long as he looks at people who are pleasing to the eye, he will send more work and get more bonuses than others. His mantra is: "Just hit it off!" So I touched my flat head and suddenly realized the reason why all the dirty work belongs to me.

24. This morning, I went to buy steamed buns with my colleague Doubi, and on the way, I kept talking about the big breasts I saw yesterday. As a result, when he arrived at the steamed stuffed bun shop, Doubi shouted at the boss: "Boss, six breasts, meat!" " There were all people around at that time!

25. My family is going to travel tomorrow. My mother is a cautious person and checks the weather forecast online. After watching it for a while, she said to me anxiously, "It seems that we can't go tomorrow, it's going to rain!" " I leaned over and looked at it. I was also very depressed at once. I was so worried that it would rain for a week and my clothes would not dry. But it's raining in Shaoxing, which has something to do with whether to travel to Xiamen tomorrow!

26. I used to surf the Internet with my boyfriend all night, and my mobile phone was dead. I thought it wouldn't matter if I pulled a plug, so I pulled it out. After a while, I heard the lol players in this row scold: "Lying in the trough, why did you get disconnected?" My boyfriend told me not to talk!

27. Husband: "Seeing that you are fat, if you still eat, can you have a long snack?" Daughter-in-law: "Dim sum? What a snack! " Husband: ...

28. Teacher: Please explain the environmental factors and genetic factors! Xiaoming: Being like dad is a genetic factor, and being like a neighbor is an environmental factor! Teacher: As usual ... Xiaoming stood up silently ...

29. The teacher called a student outside the classroom. Teacher: "Your homework is getting worse and worse. What's the matter?" Student: "Teacher, can I tell you this afternoon when I find out the reason?" Teacher: "All right!" In the afternoon, the teacher called the student outside the classroom again. Teacher: "Did you find the reason?" Student: "Yes, my grandfather said that homework is getting harder and harder, and he can't help it."

3. Husband: Honey, didn't you say you would give me a hat? Wife: Oh, I almost forgot, it's in my backpack! Husband: Honey, why is it green? Wife: What, the green one doesn't like it? Husband: No, I'm afraid ... of others gossiping ... Wife: What gossiping? Husband: Call me a cuckold ... Wife: Damn it, just say it, don't be afraid! You can confidently tell people, "Is your wife that kind to you?" .....

Editor's note: Every day, the girl will come to his shop for dinner, sit by the window and order two set meals. Every time he asked about several dinners, she was always shy to say two, but then she ate it silently alone. He thought maybe there was someone who was with the girl, but that person was gone. Finally, one day, he wanted to ask and listen to the girl's story, but he heard the girl say to herself, "The amount of two servings is so small that it is not enough to eat!" Platinum Rule in the Workplace: Mastering Listening Skills

Platinum Rule in the Workplace: Mastering Listening Skills

Mastering Listening Skills

Dear young friends:

Listening is the most important thing for you in the process of obtaining information.

Listening is so important, how to master the skills of listening? In fact, whether you can master the skills of listening depends on your attitude and performance when listening.

when listening to other people's information, it's wrong if you doubt its authenticity and consider whether it is valuable.

don't listen with or show that you don't value the information provided by others.

There's a saying that when a person encounters troubles, difficulties or interesting things, information that he thinks is very new, or inside information that others don't know, he will talk to someone he trusts from beginning to end. When you meet such a person, you will get a good chance to get information. Although what he wants to say is not necessarily what you want, you should still listen to him carefully.

No one wants to chat with someone who is indifferent to his own speech, so you must be very willing to listen to others' words, so that others can feel that you are a person who is willing to talk and easy to communicate, and thus willing to provide you with information.

In other words, if you want to master listening skills, you must first correct your attitude.

Sometimes, what others say will make you feel uncomfortable or ugly, especially when trying to persuade you. It's inevitable that some words will make you listen a little harsh, but you should listen attentively. You should tell yourself that advice is hard to listen to, and it should be worth your happiness that someone can say these words to you.

Secondly, knowing how to choose, the narrator may say a lot of things, including useful and useless, good and bad, but whatever it is, you should listen carefully. As for what to believe and how to do it afterwards, it is a matter of your own choice.

if you can extract the essence, then this information will be of great benefit to you.

Third, give the other person a proper response to let them know that you are listening carefully.

Listening is not just listening. Where you don't understand, when you particularly want to know in detail but the other person doesn't make it clear, you can appropriately say that what you just said is very important. Can you elaborate on it? I don't quite understand this. Can you explain it?

Giving the other person some feedback is actually an encouragement to the other person, making him feel that what he said is very important to you, and of course he will speak in more detail.

fourth, don't let the other person feel that you are busy.

people who are interested know that it is a waste of each other's time to talk to each other when they are busy.

If you are busy while listening to someone, you will make the speaker swallow back what he should say.

if you are really busy, you should let the other person get to the point or change the time.

Just like when you tell someone something and see that he is busy, you can make a long story short or talk about it another time.

But sometimes the information that the other person wants to say is very important to you. Even if you are really busy, you should show a very leisurely expression and let the other person say it, otherwise, he will not tell you the information in the future.

Fifth, be patient.

Sometimes, others have a full stomach of complaints and want to vent them. If you have nothing particularly important at this time, you'd better be able to be his audience.

When others vent all their worries, change their mood from bad to good and become happy from now on, they will regard you as their confidant, and even if you don't do anything for them, they will thank you very much.

Maybe you can get a lot of useful information from others.

Besides, listening to people with troubles with an accepting attitude can help them change their mood more effectively than you can help them in other ways.

This is the active listening in psychology.

If you are a leader, you can actively listen when your subordinates are in trouble, which will make your subordinates feel your concern and make your relationship more harmonious.

Just like a psychologist said: When a person is full of troubles, what he wants most is the understanding eyes of others and the patience to listen to his nagging, rather than the fact that it is useless to get angry, things have happened, or he wants to give some lectures or the encouragement that you should believe in yourself and cheer up again.

Just as when you want to make your injured body get better quickly, the newly healed wound will split again because of improper methods, for a person with a broken heart, no amount of comforting words will have little effect.

Only when the other person feels that you can empathize with his emotions completely can the other person gradually let go.

Don't simply look at listening. You should know that listening is also very particular. Those who know how to listen will get unexpected information and benefits in the process of listening, while those who don't know how to listen will hardly get all this.

Your friend William Durant, I should be sensible now. Tell me

I should be sensible now. First, time tells me that I am naive, and now I should be sensible. I used to be cute, 222

2xx. Time flies, and I am one year older. I should be sensible now. .

third, another year's birthday. How time flies! It's the animal year. At this age, it is time to be mature and sensible. Some things, some people, have always been in their hearts, and will never forget, let alone give up! Life is still too long, and you never know what will happen in the future. So cherish everything now. Now, I am very happy, with a warm home, a woman I love deeply and a trusted friend, which is enough!

17 years have passed in the blink of an eye. As a child, I was young and ignorant. Now I, Mu Na, should be sensible. When school starts, I will let you see a different me.

5. Dear girl, in five or six years, you will no longer be that ignorant and carefree girl. You will become a woman in the workplace. You must be strong, courageous and challenging. -This is dedicated to me now.

six, people come and go.