The funniest joke in history. Funny sentences (78 sentences)

1, I finally know why I have to turn left and right in military training, because I will get a uniform grandson.

These days, you can't rely on yourself, but you want to rely on others.

3, thin, everything is versatile. Fat, wearing nothing is useless.

Your bright head can be hung in the sky as a full moon, and the round one can be used as a compass.

The fear of losing and the hope of losing have become our heavy burden.

6. Now it is popular that the fault of two people is 1 person to bear. Being single is fashionable, and happiness is unnecessary!

7. Life is not only the present, but also the wedding invitation of the ex.

8. When winter came, I accidentally washed the quilt.

No matter where I go, I always keep a photo of my wife in my wallet, for no other reason than to remind myself how the money is missing!

10, compromise is not annoying you, weakness is not really afraid of you, I really don't want to lose you.

1 1, never trust those things that are hard and soft for a while!

12, Edison went out to play with a couple, and later invented the light bulb.

13, if I am in love, it doesn't matter if I am late; If I get rich, please do it now!

14, early risers are trapped by money; People who sleep late are trapped by love. You want both of them.

15, as long as you respect yourself, others will not look down on you.

16, playing mobile phone late at night, in addition to being sentimental, I was also hit in the face by my mobile phone.

17, the most useless thing in the world is the salary slip, which makes me angry and wipes my ass too carefully.

18, the wind is nice. It messed up my hair and blew off your wig.

19, if you have chosen to run counter to me, please don't look back.

20, 396 points, I am the best.

2 1. If you don't give yourself trouble, others will never give you trouble. Because of my heart, I can't let go.

22, you pervert, don't forget to look back when you are born!

23, don't and * *, you are a little fairy, can't reveal the secret.

24. People are either temperamental like pepper, rank like cabbage, or have a mind like lotus root. But I can't. I'm as straight as a telephone pole!

25. Getting up now is not by perseverance, but by peeing.

26. If today's girls walk in the ancient streets and are dragged back by the emperor at night to serve their beds and wash their faces, will they be convicted of bullying the monarch and so on?

27, two ears don't smell things outside the window, read only e-books.

28. People are different from dogs because of all kinds of red flowers.

29. I am relieved to know that you are not doing well.

30. I quarreled with my boyfriend some time ago, and no one paid attention to anyone. Last night, he suddenly came to my house with a lot of things I like to eat to apologize to me. Touched, I took out my mobile phone and sent a photo to my circle of friends: My boyfriend came to see me, so happy!

3 1. Opportunity is like a hair on a bald head. If you catch it, you catch it. If you can't catch it, it's gone.

You asked me why there were tears in my smile, because I didn't want to be disheartened.

33. The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but when you have a parent-teacher conference, your mother-in-law is in front of you, but you can only call your aunt.

34. I have the ability to pick up girls, but unfortunately I am a girl.

35. When I hate someone, if the other person suddenly says that he likes me, I don't hate him so much, because I can't hate a person with vision.

36. Old Moon! Can you tie my marriage without the red rope from the cottage? Every now and then!

37. I wish you crazy all the way, nervous halfway and crazy going home.

38. The schoolmasters almost understood. Don't learn too much from the masses.

39. If you don't believe in promises, people will fail me. If you don't promise, I'll fail.

40. My future son, tell me your father's direction.

4 1. Although a mistress needs a new one to be interesting, an old friend is better.

42. How can there be such a shameless person like you in the world? To say that you are human is to spoil the word. People like you, I don't know how * * * gave birth to you.

43. Don't think that only you have the hang-up button, so do I. ..

44. Although you are already taken, as a senior gardener, I am best at replacing trees with flowers.

Staying up late is not good for your health. I suggest you stay up all night.

You have the right to remain silent, but everything you say will be your last words.

47. I want to be fat into a sea and drown all the dead skinny people who show off.

48. I used to have poor skills and was often scolded by my friends. I was so strong that I hid and practiced hard for a month. Now they can't scold me.

49. Don't be depressed. Although you haven't traveled, at least you have a body that says you are fat.

If you don't have that ability yourself, don't say others are too powerful.

5 1. If it rains, let it kill me!

52. It takes only one sentence to destroy a person, but a thousand words to cultivate a person. Please have mercy.

53. People can live and sows can climb trees.

54. I keep setting new world records every day, and the number of days I have lived in this world.

55, the room is not luxurious and does not need to be clean. For two men and women in love, as long as they can lie down, it is suitable for sex.

56, give my future mother-in-law a bad review, the delivery is too slow!

57. Now the underground parking lot is designed like a maze, and it takes a long time to find that you don't have a car.

You can't skip class again tomorrow. What are you afraid of? We've been running away for days. I can't. Why not? Because I am a teacher!

59. The world is big, but it is bigger than the brain you lack.

60. I think I am introverted because I don't like to talk. Actually, I don't like to talk because I think you are a * *.

6 1, Rome was not built in a day, nor was it built in a day!

I can't pretend to be reserved. Ladies are not my way, so I am destined to be a bitch.

63. It is good to know what you are.

64. Sit up when you are dying, Kieran, where are you?

65. Don't eat your rotten watermelons. I eat melons for free in the city.

66. Actually, looks really don't matter. Love cares about feelings, but I don't feel ugly.

67. We agreed to grow old together, but you went to oil!

68. When someone hates you, you should reflect on yourself. Are you cute, charming and perfect to make others jealous?

69. It's no big deal. In front of time, it's all small things.

70. When I was born, God asked me whether I should have a good memory or be handsome. I have forgotten what I answered at that time.

7 1. It occurred to me that day to use your photo as a computer desktop. Hehe, I was infected by a computer virus.

72. Love has no reason. Love takes a long time to last.

You should remember that no matter how strange we become in the end, a red envelope can go back to the beginning.

74. Only women and heroes are sad, and only wives and jobs are hard to find.

75. I want to look at you gently, and then gently, until I can take another look and then throw up.

76. You said you were a genius, and I said I was a talent. You are no more than two of me.

77. Of the 10,000 little monsters passing by, I only saw you.

78. Sometimes you are about to do something consciously, and suddenly someone urges you to do it, and you don't want to do it in an instant.