The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is ostensibly a war between two women, but in fact it is for their own interests.

I saw my mother-in-law's daughter-in-law in the Spring Festival Evening, and I felt really close to real life, showing the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in real life. Because the mother-in-law relationship is the most difficult to get along with.

Just like the netizen said with emotion: "We survived in a different place, but we didn't survive your mother!" ? Because the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the most prone to problems and problems in a family, and it is the most special intimate relationship.

In your usual TV series, there is often a scene in which a bad mother-in-law hurts a good daughter-in-law.

For example, there is a striking contrast in the TV series "My Mother-in-law is Coming": He Lin, a beloved Beijing girl, came together with Wang Chuanzhi who was admitted to Peking University in the northern countryside. Before her mother-in-law came to He Lin's house, the marriage between He Lin and Wang Chuanzhi was calm, sweet and happy.

Wang Chuanzhi is honest and obedient to He Lin. Although He Lin is a bit headstrong, it is not too much. The young couple Qi Xin wants to live a better life together. As her mother-in-law and relatives came to Beijing to look for Wang Chuanzhi, He Lin and Wang Chuanzhi's life became a chicken flying and a dog jumping. You can see from these five things.

(1) Because Wang Chuanxiang was dismissed, the embroidered nanny was frustrated, and my younger brother smashed the door with walnuts and was scolded by Lin He. These events made the family atmosphere tense again, which led to the family's collective dissatisfaction with Lin He and upset Wang Chuanzhi.

(2) Embroidery aborted after falling in Zheng Aier's home, and He Lin became the target of public criticism.

(3) Wang Chuanzhi and He Lin also sleep in separate beds, and the relationship between husband and wife is cold.

4 Wang Chuanxiang was discharged from hospital after receiving embroidery. Embroidery marveled at the cost of the hospital and came up with the idea of selling Wang Chuanzhi's house.

(5) Lin He went home and had a fight with Wang Meichang, whose neck was scratched by Lin He.

This triggered a family scuffle, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law became increasingly tense, and conflicts often broke out. Finally, Wang Chuanzhi hurried home after learning that Wang Meichang was going to commit suicide. Seeing this, Wang Chuanzhi questioned Lin He and Lin He, who abused each other and filed for divorce. Chanz hit He Lin in a fit of pique, and He Lin struck back. The last two people had to divorce.

The ending of this TV play is satisfactory. After her mother-in-law got Alzheimer's Harmo's disease, He Lin learned from embroidery that Wang Meichang had lost it again, and hurriedly asked He Zhongtian to drive together to find it. Lin He found Wang Meichang in the park next to the hospital. He Lin took Wang Meichang home, and the family was happy from then on.

He Lin didn't communicate with the other party at a critical time, and it was inappropriate to deal with the violence in his own way.

Therefore, He Lin's marriage really started when her mother-in-law and relatives suddenly moved in, leaving relatives under the same roof at the same time, which would lead to the intensification of contradictions, and the couple had no time and opportunity to react, thus affecting the whole marriage.

Regardless of whether the two sides have an emotional foundation or not, they must accept each other unconditionally.

Generally speaking, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law spend less time together and have no deep emotional foundation. They just become a family because they love a man like * * *. In fact, we are not familiar with each other's temper, personality, living habits and whether the three views are consistent, but we must accept this situation in action.

⑵ Daughter-in-law over-interprets her mother-in-law's words and deeds, which makes the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law more difficult to get along with.

In psychology, there is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Simply put, what you believe will happen slowly and eventually become what you believe. For example, if you believe that your child is the best, he will become better and better. On the contrary, if you believe that your child is stupid, he will become more and more stupid.

For example, the mother-in-law told her daughter-in-law not to wash her underwear with a washing machine, which was originally a good word for caring for her daughter-in-law. Her daughter-in-law may immediately think reflexively: "This little thing interferes with me, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is really bad."

If there is no concept of "difficult relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law" in daughter-in-law's mind, then when the same thing happens, daughter-in-law will have different interpretations. Perhaps the interpretation is "my mother-in-law is so good, this little thing reminds me that I am my husband's mother."

Too often, in fact, there is no malice to each other, but it is over-interpreted by the other party, which makes the relationship stiff.

Why is there an excessive interpretation of each other's words and deeds? The main reason is that your brain is in the concept of "difficult relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law". Why are you on good terms with your mother? Because the idea in your head is: "Mom will always love me, and my mom won't care so much about me." Don't point your nose at me "

⑶ Many mother-in-law always extort emotional money from their children.

There is a kind of love called controlling in the name of love, and emotionally blackmailing your children. Therefore, the mother-in-law can't help but interfere with her son's life, mainly because she feels that her son is still "young", worried that her son will "suffer" in marriage, and worried that her daughter-in-law is not considerate.

Especially single mothers, very plump, especially like to take care of their children. Everyone knows that zhuyuchen is a "baby boy". He and his mother participated in the variety show My Boy. Mother Zhu said in the program: "I know every relationship of his, and I will interfere."

Zhuyuchen's two famous romances, one with Tang Wei and the other with Jiang Yan. Zhuyuchen and Tang Wei fell in love in high school. Both of them failed in the college entrance examination because of puppy love. After a year of repetition, they were admitted to the Central Academy of Drama together.

After graduation, they lived a drifting life in the rented house, but the pressure of life brought many trivial quarrels, and their feelings became weaker and weaker, and finally they broke up.

Mother Zhu has requirements for her daughter-in-law's cooking. She thinks it is natural for her mother and wife to cook for zhuyuchen. She objected to zhuyuchen's cooking, and even said, "I must have done something wrong, otherwise how can my son learn to cook?"

After falling in love with Jiang Yan, zhuyuchen once took Jiang Yan home to see her mother. Jiang Yan's cooking is good, which made Zhu's mother very satisfied at first. Mother Zhu said: "I have to get up at four o'clock every morning to make soup and breakfast for my son." I hope my wife can be like her in the future. This is a good wife. When you enter the door, you must do your duty and think about it before you get married. "

When we first met, Jiang Yan was sitting on the sofa in a skirt. I don't know if it is because the skirt is too short or because of the style. She stepped on mother Zhu's minefield. She didn't like Jiang Yan very much. Mother Zhu thinks: "It's very important at first sight, but it's not good to wear revealing clothes. This kind of person feels frivolous. "

Mother Zhu's words made everyone present a little scared, giving the impression that I spent my whole life by my son's side and lived for him. In the face of a mother-in-law like mother Zhu, which girl won't feel great pressure? Running away is definitely a girl's self-protection reaction. Don't say his girlfriend is stressed. As a son, zhuyuchen also feels helpless, which leads him to be single now.

Therefore, under this premise, the longer the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along, the more critical the mother-in-law will be, which will interfere with the normal life of the daughter-in-law, leading to the more intense resistance of the daughter-in-law and the constant quarrel between husband and wife.

(4) Does the mother-in-law provoke the relationship between husband and wife?

Psychologists believe that in all family relationships, the relationship between husband and wife is higher than all relationships. Simply put, other family relationships are maintained by blood relationship, but once the relationship between husband and wife deteriorates, a family can easily fall apart. Such a mother-in-law thinks she has authority, but she is actually pushing her daughter-in-law out until she destroys a complete family.

(1) does not respect the privacy of husband and wife.

For example, in the TV series "Micro Happiness", the mother-in-law went into the daughter-in-law and son's room to rummage in the name of cleaning up dirty clothes. After being discovered by her daughter-in-law's mother, she accused her daughter-in-law of saying that the whole room is full of your clothes, and you are a daughter-in-law who has lost her home.

Find a girlfriend for your married son.

The mother-in-law in When Mother-in-law Meets Mother is simply the best. She even introduced a girlfriend to her married son, making the family fly like dogs.

(3) If you care too much, you are doomed to get along badly.

You know, the mother-in-law has no obligation to take care of the children for her daughter-in-law, and the daughter-in-law has no obligation to be as filial as her own mother. But what to do in this respect, the most test of the mother-in-law's choice.

Therefore, some old people are willing to take care of their children, just to reduce the burden on the young couple and take care of their children. They always feel that it is not easy for young people nowadays. Maybe some novice mothers think that after all, we have different ideas about taking care of our children. If they are allowed to take care of the children, there will be a lot of friction. My mother-in-law is not forced to take care of her children. She will be very grateful if she is willing to come. Instead of letting each other calculate each other all day, you can give me as much benefit as you want if you want me to help you with your children.

The bad relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the "stirring stick" of marriage. Even if some men are horse-haired men, they are most afraid of their mother-in-law or crazy protectors. The son quarreled with his daughter-in-law, and stood by his son and accused her. If the daughter-in-law is not satisfied with herself, she will point her finger.

In the end, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will quarrel and get angry, the family atmosphere will never be harmonious, and there will always be disputes between them. There will be a feeling that you will finally be a mother-in-law after 30 years, and you will find the feeling of being a mother-in-law from your daughter-in-law.

Therefore, a good mother-in-law will never sow discord between her son and daughter-in-law. Because a good mother-in-law wants her son's family to be stable and happy. Often a mother's true love for her son shows that she loves her wife more. Whatever she says and asks, she scolds her son first, not her wife.

5] A good relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will also affect the relationship between husband and wife.

There is no contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. If they get along too well, it will also affect the relationship between husband and wife.

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is so good that mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will involuntarily tend to defend their daughter-in-law and have conflicts with their children. For example, in a program of "Battle of Love", because the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is too good, her husband is jealous. The man thinks that all this is because the daughter-in-law instigates her mother to do housework herself, which leads to her low family status.

(2) When there is a problem in the relationship between husband and wife, some daughter-in-law will focus on maintaining the relationship with her mother-in-law in order to stabilize the family, hoping that her mother-in-law will be her own backing. Therefore, in some families where the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is too good, mother-in-law is not a tool to solve marriage problems, and marriage problems still need to be solved by both husband and wife.

(1) A mother-in-law should respect her son's husband-wife relationship.

Love should also have boundaries. Respecting her as an independent individual and giving her full respect and space is more important than all control. As mothers, we must understand one thing. When the son grows up or even gets married, the parent-child relationship must give way to the husband-wife relationship. Let the son get along with his wife first, and then the parent-child relationship between mother and son can be achieved.

Even if you can't see the past, as long as the husband and wife have no opinions and no contradictions, then the mother's opinions are not important and it is best not to express them. Even if the mother-in-law has any suggestions for her daughter-in-law, she still needs to choose the right way and worry about the acceptance of her son and daughter-in-law.

A husband should respect his wife.

There is a line in ip man 3: "There are no men who are afraid of their wives, only men who respect their wives." Many men, in order to highlight their status, deliberately tell their wives what to do and reprimand them loudly in front of outsiders.

Therefore, the husband should be practical. Don't think that when the old man is old, he will blindly favor his parents, and in turn blame his wife with the old man, regardless of their feelings.

(3) Without touching the principle and the bottom line, the husband should resolutely protect his wife, and can't muddle along.

Psychologist Wu Zhihong once said: "The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is actually a triangular relationship between mother-in-law, son and daughter-in-law, but the core is the son." Husband is the only connection between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. If the husband can handle it well, the family will naturally be harmonious. If we don't deal with it, our family will only be scared to death.

As a husband, you should understand that the most important relationship in life is the relationship between husband and wife after marriage. Therefore, when there is a conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, if the wife has no principled mistakes, the husband must unconditionally safeguard his wife and her legitimate interests.

Because only by resolutely safeguarding the wife can it be beneficial to the relationship between husband and wife, to end the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law as soon as possible, and to reduce the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in later life.

Knowing that the husband is on his side, the average wife will soon turn off the fire; Knowing that her son supports her daughter-in-law, her son's attitude is so clear that I believe her mother-in-law will not go too far.

(4) The best way to get along between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is to get along less and grasp a certain degree.

A mother-in-law is not a real mother, and a daughter-in-law should deeply understand this. When dealing with her, you should have less expectation and grievance for her, and more wisdom and discretion. Keep the distance between a bowl of soup and be a measured mother-in-law and daughter-in-law; Then you will all be happy.

Papi sauce has been shared. She and her husband rarely go to each other's home, and even go back to their home to find their mother during the Chinese New Year. Although it seems a little less "humanized", it actually effectively solves the problem of "the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law". Because marriage is a matter for husband and wife, people who come from a family should stop interfering in marriage life.

Between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, distance produces beauty. Of course, it is not to cut off contacts, but to get along in a necessary way. If you feel that the two sides really can't get along, you can minimize contact, as long as the marriage is happy and the children are filial.

At the same time, under the premise of not affecting family life, don't interfere with the husband's filial piety to his parents; In the limited relationship with her mother-in-law, if there is something you can't agree with, be polite and patient and control the bottom line; When getting along, the daughter-in-law had better treat her mother-in-law as a leader, and her mother-in-law should treat her daughter-in-law as a distinguished guest and entertain more guests.

If the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are just the same in temper, they feel particularly easy to get along with, or they can be moderate and accommodating everywhere, but they must be measured, because the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is too good, which will also affect the relationship between husband and wife.

Ye Zi has something to say.

Therefore, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, on the surface, is a war between two women, but in fact it is inviolable for their own interests. A happy family must be one with clear boundaries and a clear division of responsibilities.

Every family member can play his role well. Husband is husband, wife is wife, children are children, and in-laws are in-laws. They do their own thing, never interfere or prevaricate. The clearer your responsibility to yourself, the fewer problems everyone will encounter.