Looking for the ultimate series of classic funny lines

1. So so, so so ~

2. My name is Liu Mingbei, and his name is Xuande. I am the son of Wang Jing in Zhongshan. I am poor because my family is poor. The most expensive thing about me is that I have noble blood. Unfortunately, my blood type is O, and every time I sell blood, it is very cheap. It really sucks.

3. Zhao Yun is rocking on a very long board (Zhao Yun saved a dou in Long Han Bo).

4. Rich people, not big brothers. ...

5. Zhang Fei: We are here for school. Can we remove eight Jin Suozhen doors so that we can go to school?

Dean: Who knows if you were sent by the Yellow Scarf College to rob the school?

Guan Yu: The yellow turban insurrectionary colleges and universities are becoming more and more arrogant now.

Zhang Fei: Yes, when you enter the school, you grab the teaching equipment, the registration fee and the nutritious lunch. Er, I heard that the male and female teachers in a school were taken off last time, and even the principal's underwear was taken away.

Guan Yu: Really?

Zhang Fei: Of course it's fake.

Guan Yu: Wow, you are a little annoyed.

6. Liu Bei: It doesn't matter if you like to fight, but you can't have stones in your head. Brain stones are idiots. There are so many of them, but there are only three of us. This is not a battle. This is called a siege.

7. Guan Yu: How can it not be a crisis? Now growth is the most critical.

Zhang Fei: Is it worse than going to the toilet without toilet paper?

Guan Yu: Of course.

8. Liu Bei: Sun Tzu's Art of War asked his son to pass it on to his daughter ... I went to the second-hand bookstore in Tieshikong and bought it 100 for your sister ~ (Liu Bei's heartfelt words hurt Cao Cao's words. )

9. Dong Zhuo: I'm possessed. I can't help it, but I'm simple. I just want to keep hurting people. Isn't that simple enough?

10. False breasts. Who knows if your admission notice is false?

Zhang Fei: My breasts are real!

Guan Yu: That's not the point!

1 1. Biao, my man is yours and my heart is Zhao Yun's, but now my soul has been stolen by Guan Yu. Biao, I'm sorry.

12. You try very hard to feed the chicken tea eggs, but the chicken won't lay tea eggs. .

13. Zhang Fei (with a naive face): Big Brother, I am a big stone in my chest, and so are you!

14. It's good to have someone to sleep with me. I heard that dogs have yin and yang eyes, and the result is true. I have been seeing Ah Piao, dangling in front of me, so scared! (Dong Zhuo)

15. I have a question. Who wants to be called a pig? I am the great Dong Zhuoye, so you can't call me a pig. Especially after I lost weight, my face became so thin. (Dong Zhuo)

16. I want to hypnotize myself, not beef, not beef, but cow shit! (or Dong Zhuo)

17. Liu Bei: Third brother, you haven't practiced Bagua Boxing, but you have practiced Bagua Mouth.

18. Jiao Niang: Eh, playing dumb won't do much. Zhang Fei: Playing dumb won't make a big mistake.

19. "Yes, the goal was successful. I am really a dog with all my wishes! " (Dong) According to

20. Female veterinarian: "Oh, honey, it's okay. Just checking. Come, I'll give you a kiss. "

Liu Bei, Guan Yu, Zhang Fei, Huang Zhong and Ma Chao: "No!"

Female veterinarian: "What's the matter?"

Liu Bei, Guan Yu, Zhang Fei, Huang Zhong and Ma Chao: "Nothing."

Dong: "Kissing will kill you, really. Let me be happy. Don't! Come and kiss in French. "

2 1. Zhou Yu: I heard that President Cao's sneeze shook all corners of the country ~

Cao Cao: President Zhou yawned and set off a huge wave ~

22. Sun Shangxiang: This is my own external skill "Great Soldier's Gas Coagulation".

Zhang Fei: "Big ice cream"?

23. Zhang Fei: Two tigers are not allowed in one mountain unless there is a male and a female.

Zhang Fei: Are you sure?

25 Zhou Yu: I always think you will cheat us, miss.

Liu Bei: Don't use intuition indiscriminately. I have a hunch that you will cheat little Joe in our class.

Teacher: "Sorry, A Biao's family is busy worshipping their ancestors. One uncle, four husbands and seven brothers play cards, three aunts, six grandmothers and nine sisters cook, and two nephews, five nephews and eight grandsons burn incense. Excuse me, how many relatives have come to Abiao's house? " Yes, please lift your feet. " ......

Teacher: "Your feet are cramping. You can't lift them. Haven't you said this question many times? Ok, Liu Bei, Liu Bei, you will, Liu Bei, Liu Bei? "

Liu Bei: "What did you ask just now?"

Teacher: "What did I ask just now? I asked, how many relatives have been to Abiao's house? "

Liu Bei: "I don't know how many relatives come to their family, but I just heard that there are eight Sun Shangxiang in their family."

Xiao Qiao said, "You are hopelessly clever, but you don't know me at all!" " "

Sun Shangxiang said, "Have you ever loved?"

Lv Meng and Zhou Yu: "Miss, please don't seduce me."

Dear heroes of the Eastern Han Academy, since you are here, let's come in and meet! (Zhou Yu)

Mushrooms, bananas, cigarettes, soap, coriander, champagne, sesame oil, perfume, incense burner and vanilla.