Funny classic funny sentences, funny classic funny quotations

Classic funny sentences that make people laugh.

1. Please don't disturb while taking a shower. Please buy tickets for voyeurism, 40 for individuals and 20 for groups!

Time is the best teacher, but it's a pity that he finally killed all the students.

3. Yuanyang plays in the water and drowns; Fly with me and fall to your death!

Teacher, can we change the teaching methods? Like dreams.

5. It is not necessarily a mother to have milk, but a grandfather to have money!

6. My father-in-law quarreled with her mother-in-law, and her mother-in-law was angry: I will take my grandson back to my mother's house tomorrow and never come back. At this time, the daughter-in-law heard: Good idea, keep my son and take your son away! The whole family was suddenly happy, what a humorous daughter-in-law!

7. Handsome is useless! Finally, I was eaten by a chess piece!

8. What is tolerance? Xiaoming went home to show his father after the exam. Dad: Math 0! Xiao Ming is afraid ... Dad:: Chinese 1 minute! Xiao Ming nodded trembling ... the air was condensed and the atmosphere was terrible. Xiao Ming feels that a blood shed is coming to him. Dad took a deep breath and said slowly, Ming! You, you are a little biased!

9. When looking for a girlfriend, look for someone who doesn't like makeup! Draw once in a while! I will feel heartbroken if I find a general makeup! Not occasionally! Easy to die suddenly!

10. Due to long-term separation, Cowherd and his cattle stayed together, and Qixi was cancelled. I hope everyone knows.

1 1. Tanabata buddies shouted: Is Cowherd as miserable as me? He can at least see his wife once. I have lived for 25 years and have never seen his wife once!

12. Don't ask me how to spend this Tanabata Valentine's Day this year. I really want to skip, skip and muddle along. But I still admit cowardice, and I just feel sad.

13. How can I have love and refuse to get hurt at the same time? Don't forget that Cupid shot an arrow, not a rose.

14. My boyfriend and I quarreled to the point of breaking up, and both sides were very excited. I sent an angry message saying that I would roll my own package, and when I was excited, I would roll my own corn. My boyfriend sent a hamster. Bye.

15. I went to my neighbor's house to borrow something. They are eating watermelon. When he lent me something, I said, I won't eat it ... I haven't recovered the face I lost at that time.

16. Walking on the road, I saw an uncle lying on the ground. I hurried to lie down with him. That uncle looked at me and said, don't rob me of my youth. My son wants to buy a house and marry. I said, I also want to buy a house and marry a wife, but I don't want to be old. Grandpa said that if you are successful in the future, you can have this land, and I will change it!

17. Walking on the road, I saw my uncle lying on the ground. I hurried forward to help him. My uncle looked at me and said, don't move after birth. You are also a part-time job. I'll wait until you leave. I am very touched. Hurry up, Grandpa, a parked Land Rover is coming. Uncle is also very excited. You are a real young man. Why don't you stop and be a witness for me, and buy a car and drive to work after that.

18. I was in trouble today. There are several transparent shrimps in the fish tank in the office. The leader looked at them with glasses for a long time and asked me what I kept. I said: shrimp! The leader paused and left ... I was shocked, too, and quickly explained loudly: shrimp head! Draw shrimp! The leader is really shrimp! ! It's real shrimp! ! !

19. It snowed heavily today. I just went out to watch an uncle fall. I went over and asked, grandpa, my salary is less than 2000 a month. Can I help you up? Grandpa: Go ahead, young man. I'll wait a little longer. Me: OK! Although the weather is cold, grandpa's words are warm and full of positive energy.

20. I'll help you solve the problem that Confucius can't solve.

2 1. There are no windtight walls and no hanging beams.

22. I was pulled out before I had time to have sex.

23. Don't thank me! Thanks. How dare you charge you?

24. I'm embarrassed to arrest you. How dare you steal?

25. My heart is broken and it looks like dumpling stuffing.

Classic funny quotations that make people laugh.

1. The farmer tried to kill the rooster but couldn't catch it, so he grabbed the hen and said to the rooster, Don't come down, let you be a bachelor! Rooster: You fucking think I'm stupid. If I fall, she will become a widow.

2. My neighbor's child is called Zhu Chuan. Every time his mother buys clothes for him, she always tells people that they are clothes for our family Zhu Chuan.

Many years ago, a remote mountain village just had electricity, and every household used light bulbs. An old lady somehow turned off the light and blew it like a kerosene lamp for a long time, but it still didn't go out. She said to herself, this new thing is really good, windproof.

4. Give you a watermelon. When you are in a bad mood, you can use a small knife to cut and cut. At the same time, you can vent and shout loudly: I kill melons, I kill melons, I kill melons!

A shy boy finally got up the courage to ask his beloved girl: What kind of boy do you like? The girl said: It's very congenial. The boy asked again, but he had to say sadly, why not have a flat head?

6. A woman bought breakfast with counterfeit money, and the stall owner was annoyed: Elder sister, even if you give counterfeit money, at least it is printed, your bill is actually painted! To say the least, forget to draw. You can draw five tens or seven.

7. Have you eaten? You should eat this. If you haven't eaten, don't look yet.

8. A farmer was walking on the ridge with two loads of dung. A man went up and asked, Grandpa, how much is this sauce a catty? The farmers made no noise. The man reached out and dipped a little into his mouth and tasted it, thinking, I won't tell you how much a catty is unless you tell me.

9. This wolf cub has been a vegetarian since birth. Father and mother wolf racked their brains to train their cubs to hunt. Finally, the machete son, who pleased Sirius's parents, ran after the rabbit crazily. The wolf cub grabbed the rabbit and said, boy! Hand over the carrots!

10. Letters and numbers fight, and the number 1 and 3 form the letter B to penetrate the enemy. Not long after, 1 and 3 came back, with dark eyes and black and blue bodies. Everyone asked them how they did it. 1 and 3 cried and answered: all the letters except the biggest A are lowercase letters.

1 1. Someone rode into the street, passed an intersection and spread his hand. When the traffic police saw it, they exclaimed: Good palms! Someone waved happily and replied: comrades have worked hard!

12. When I am angry, I will pick up the phone and dial the foreign number. Without adding 0, I will soon hear someone say to me: I'm sorry. . .

13. What wakes me up every day is neither peeing. It is not an alarm clock, nor a dream, but poverty.

14. Doing nothing every day is also a kind of pain. God, for my piety's sake, let me bear this pain alone! !

15. On the first night when Hua Mulan joined the army as her father, she wrote to Sun, the widow of the village chief, saying, It's a great loss that you didn't come!

Humorous jokes that make people laugh.

1. I thought the air was free until I bought a bag of potato chips.

2. I heard that I can find the opening record online now, and I immediately panicked. How embarrassing it would be if someone found out that I had never opened a house!

After careful investigation by the police, the criminal finally surfaced, and the director decided decisively: get it out quickly!

4. Couple, M: Ever since we got together, we have gone out for a barbecue every night, and I have a beer belly. Woman: I didn't expect the crystallization of our love to be reflected in you first.

God will certainly forgive me, because that's his profession.

6. Just bring a butt that looks better than your face.

7. You live to hurt the whole life, and you die to hurt hell.

8. If you like someone, you will confess. Press if you don't agree. If it doesn't work, drug it, rape it, and don't take nude photos.

9. You are really great. Thanks to my parents for bringing such a big joke to China.

10.20 years ago, the day you were born, there was a drought, locusts were scattered, the sky was empty. Your mother used stretch, and you were born shit.

Classic funny sentences 202 1 funny quotations

Excellent Articles of 20xx Classic Funny Sentences

1. You are my distant future and my unforgettable present.

2. Read only, the moment we meet, travel through time and space for you. Stop complaining, this stubborn look, in a flash, things have changed.

3. Who failed to live up to who insisted, who clung to whose hoary head. You use silence to avoid me, then I will help you without contacting.

Don't get what you can't get, and it's not bad to die alone.

It's normal to care about other people's opinions, but you have to understand that not everyone is human.

I don't take you seriously. I always look down on things that are too cheap.

7. Youth is a heavy rain. Even if I have a cold, I still hope to take another bath in the future.

8. Bajie, I'm fighting the goddess Chang 'e, and I'll see you in Gaolaozhuang later.

Beethoven told us that the more you recite, the more you will score. This is the rule of remembering more.

10. The boy took his girlfriend for a walk and passed by the restaurant. My girlfriend exclaimed, how delicious! The boy with a hard bag said very gentlemanly, if you like, let's walk in front of the restaurant again.

1 1. I can assure you that the deepest and longest gaze in your life has been given to your mobile phone. I don't know what it's like to have thin legs, thin waist, thin hands and thin neck when I'm so big.

12. How often, because you can't get it, you pretend you don't want it. We should be calm and unhurriedly strong.

13. In this harmonious society, primary school students celebrate Valentine's Day, middle school students celebrate Singles Day and college students celebrate Children's Day.

14. Principal, your son hasn't finished his homework yet. Can you postpone the start date?

15. besides looking good, nail polish has another advantage. You can shave when you are bored.

16. Let's use the hand index. The temperature will not be very high tomorrow.

17. Hard life needs no explanation.

18. Casual doesn't mean I have no temper. I never said I was a kind person.

20xx classic funny sentences

1. Hard life needs no explanation.

2. A man who is as strong as an iron tower has never been scolded by his thin wife, never moved his hand or even spoken. Whenever I am angry, I go to the railway station and deliberately expose my money to the outside for thieves to steal. Beating a thief is a tragedy! Over time, all the thieves in the railway station knew. When he came, he said that this grandson was angry at home, and Nima came out to find someone to vent it on!

After visiting the supermarket, I saw an old lady spending RMB in front of me. She took it out and handed it to the cashier. The cashier looked at your drawer and found no change, so she asked her aunt, do you have it? The old lady smiled from ear to ear and happily replied that it was not bad. I have many sons.

At the beginning of school, the new teacher pushed the door and came in, slapped us on the podium, looked at us coldly and said, I told you, I never talk about justice. The atmosphere in the class suddenly became a bit dignified. After a while, his expression changed and he said that I taught geography.

5. It's not that many men in China don't like dressing up, but they are a little biased in aesthetics and confident in honey juice. For example. The same is trying on clothes. My mother will ask me if it looks good, I will say it doesn't, and my mother will go back for a change until we are both satisfied. My dad asked me, do I look good? I said I didn't look good. He said you didn't know anything, and then he went out.

6. Yesterday, my niece at that age cried to me on QQ. She broke up with her ex who had been in contact for three weeks last night. She was very painful and advised my aunt that love hurts! I also sighed and asked what the world was like, teaching people to live and die together! It is wise to say that 18 years old has never been in love.

7. After the athletes from all countries arrived at the Rio Olympic Village, delegations from other countries made preparations to prevent things from being lost. Only the DPRK delegation was the mobilizer and staff for preventing things from being lost.

8. I met my roommate when I came home from work today, and found that he smelled exactly like his girlfriend. The scum lying in the trough really paid a lot of money to seduce Lao Zi.

9. The recent weather, lying in bed, braising; Exaggerated mat, teppanyaki; After getting up, steam; Go out to cook; Swimming, boiling; On the way back, it blew up; Go into the house and go back to the pot. Today and tomorrow, when you go out, you should pay attention to flanging, pay attention to the heat, bring cumin and Chili powder, and don't burn it. We are streaking, we bring salt for ourselves!

10. I have nothing to do in the morning. I was surfing the Internet in front of the accounting office, and I overheard two women chatting inside. A word from an ordinary gentle woman amused me. My man is really difficult to serve. He thinks my breasts are big in the daytime and small at night. Is my wife inflatable?

1 1. Discuss with your classmates in the summer vacation, which homework you do, which homework I do, and then copy it! Follow the plan. As a result, my classmates copied my summer homework and sent it back a week later, saying that your summer homework and what you did were in a mess. I changed it for five days, and I was relieved after copying it.

12. As a member of the system, my predecessors told me not to offend two kinds of female colleagues. One is very beautiful, with a powerful michel platini behind it; One is ugly, with a powerful father behind him.

13. When Beipiao returned to his hometown after many years, his mother came out of the kitchen slowly, holding a pot of tea in her hand, and told him with concern that she was tired from walking. Drink it quickly. This is the tea made by mother. His face turned red, and he cocked his blue finger and picked up the cup.

14. News tutorial An old lady fell on the road and broke her teeth. How did the reporter report it? Hong Kong press conference will ask whether there are hidden dangers in municipal road construction! Taiwan Province reporter will follow up medical insurance. Who will pay for the filling? The American press conference pays attention to how the marginalized elderly in the elderly society live. In Chinese mainland, it is said that "one person loses his teeth and everyone helps", "The road is ruthless and people have feelings" and "The old man can't lose his teeth?" 》

Recommended articles for 20xx classic funny sentences

1. Don't write your love in words all day. I don't have that much time to pay attention to you. I want more love than words!

Thank you for letting go of the chain when I need you.

Although I watch plays, chat and play games in Weibo all day, I sleep hard the rest of the time!

Four words describe the separation of wives and children in different classes.

5. once you like someone, your IQ will basically fail.

6. Love is a gamble. If you win, you will spend the rest of your life together. If you lose, you lose everything. Those who are closer than friends are all familiar strangers.

Please don't feel how unforgettable you are. The smile is real, not that I am trying to be brave.

8. Spring breeze loves a hundred miles, and thousands of peach blossoms are not as good as you.

9. Those who keep saying that they are good for you are not. Remember one sentence, don't be simple!

10. You are my distant future and my unforgettable present.

1 1. read-only, the moment we meet, I will travel through time and space for you. Stop complaining, this stubborn look, in a flash, things have changed.

12. Who failed to live up to his insistence, who stuck to his hoary head. You use silence to avoid me, then I will help you without contacting.

13. Don't get what you can't get. It's good to die alone.

14. It's normal to care about other people's opinions, but you have to understand that not everyone is human.

15. I always look down on things that are too cheap.

16. Youth is a heavy rain. Even if you have a cold, I hope to take another bath later.

17. Bajie, I'm fighting with the goddess Chang 'e, and I'll see you in Gaolaozhuang later.

18. Beethoven told us that the more you recite, the more you score. This is the rule of remembering more.

19. The boy took his girlfriend for a walk and passed by the restaurant. My girlfriend exclaimed, how delicious! The boy with a hard bag said very gentlemanly, if you like, let's walk in front of the restaurant again.

20. I can assure you that the deepest and longest gaze in your life has been given to your mobile phone. I don't know what it's like to have thin legs, thin waist, thin hands and thin neck when I grow so big.

2 1. How often, because you can't get it, you pretend you don't want it. We should be calm and unhurriedly strong.

In this harmonious society, primary school students celebrate Valentine's Day, middle school students celebrate Singles Day and college students celebrate Children's Day.

23. Principal, your son hasn't finished his homework. Can you postpone the start date?

24. Besides looking good, applying nail polish has another advantage. You can shave when you are bored.

Let's count my fingers. The temperature will not be very high tomorrow.

Funny Quotations 202 1 Funny sentences make people laugh.

Funny quotations 20xx excellent articles

1. Don't be afraid, I'm not a good person.

2. Non-mainstream people either bow their heads or cover their mouths. Can you change some skills?

3. People who care don't understand, and those who do don't care.

Our love has been reduced to ashes before solidification.

Fortunately, love is not everything. Fortunately, nothing is love.

6. The way lies in people walking, and things are artificial; High-profile work, low-key life.

7. A despicable friend is more terrible than an honest enemy.

8. Find friends, boyfriends, kiss and hold hands, get married and have children.

9. True love is not afraid of the test of distance, and believes in the top.

10. I can choose to give up, but I can't.

1 1. The person you like doesn't like you. Even if people all over the world like you, you will be lonely.

12. Holiday life, a set of pajamas, a pair of splints, all day.

13. If you think, if you have a dream, you can rely on your thoughts and dreams.

14. I like to replace all punctuation marks with spaces.

15. Tell me from the bottom of my heart that it's good to have you in the air conditioner, and how can I live without you!

16. A woman who doesn't take a shower won't smell good no matter how much perfume she wears.

17. Thanks to mental illness, the whole person is much more energetic.

Funny quotations 20xx classics

1. Why does pangolin keep digging? Because I'm looking for Kawasaki.

After studying for more than ten years, I think kindergarten is better.

3. Old people can't fight. Children can't fight. Women don't fight. Men. Fight to the death

My hobbies can be divided into static and dynamic. Static is sleeping, dynamic is turning over.

I bought a razor online, but my hands went numb before I finished shaving.

6. When I woke up this morning, I thought I had grown up. I took a closer look and found that the quilt cover was horizontal!

7. I dare not look in the mirror for too long, because I am afraid I will fall in love with myself.

I fell asleep because I had something to do in my dream.

9. The old ladies on Naihe Bridge have switched to selling milk tea. I will never forget it for a long time.

10. Mengniu made a difficult decision. If Yili milk is detected in the stomach of users, it will automatically release melamine.

1 1. Only people who fall into the water understand that dog planing is also a beautiful swimming stroke.

12. If people all over the world betray you. I will stand behind you without hesitation. Follow them and betray you.

13. In a meeting, the manager usually tells smokers that they were all strangled! !

14. After this village, there is this store; Because there are branches here.

15. I never lie, except this sentence.

16. Is your coffin overturned or sliding?

17. What's your seat? I am made of meat.

18. It is not necessarily a prince who rides a white horse. It may be Tang Priest.

19. As a monster, my wish is to destroy an Altman.

20. Make me angry and curse you for buying instant noodles all your life without seasoning packets!

Funny quotations 20xx recommended articles

1. American Superman is not as good as China Wukong.

The little monster was carrying a submachine gun and tried to knock down the bump with a cannon.

3. If time is a butcher's knife, obesity is Tu Longdao!

Beethoven told us that the more you recite, the more you score.

5. Think about the salary, forget it, and don't want to live.

6. Hey, boss, have a bottle of Wang Laoji!

7. Even if you are sad, smile and say, damn it.

8. Whoever delays me for a while, I will make him regret it for life.

9. There is always such a person, which we call a well-that is, it means two things anyway.

10. A woman said that my toilet seat had not been lifted for several years.

1 1. I often change jobs. I have been to many cities in China. Whenever my friends ask me where I work, I always say that I am moving in China.

12. The so-called perfect marriage means that the man is finished and the woman is beautiful.

13. The red light at every door illuminates my future.

14. Some people make masks that look much better than real people.

15. The most valuable thing for people is to know how much they weigh. Why don't you try to stand on the big scale? That weight doesn't move at all.

16. When I have money, I will buy two BMWs to clear the way in front, and I will go to work by bike in the back.

17. I swear I'll chop my hands when I surf the internet again. I found out that I am Guanyin with a thousand hands.

18. When the value of the decorations on your body exceeds your intrinsic value, you are fashionable.

19. I can only afford chopsticks now.

20. Don't say you don't know me. It happens that I don't know you either. This is fate!

2 1. I thought I wanted a career, but I found that I just wanted a salary.

22. After a long time, I can see that people are not old and know that the horsepower is insufficient.

23. The so-called difference in values means giving a candle. Some people will feel that a piece of cake is missing, while others will feel that a whip is missing.

24. I thought about the word "special efforts", and I only achieved the first four.

25. Beast, let go of that girl and let me go first!

26. Ideals are like underwear. You should have them. But you can't prove that everyone has it!

27. Psychological activities of pregnant girls My mother will kill me! Psychological activities of the fetus. My mother will kill me!

28. I also want to buy an ipad. College students know how to donate sperm, and high school students only sell kidneys. It's terrible to have no education!

29. Time and marriage will make a man mature, but time is slow and marriage is fast.

30. April Fool's Day passed before I could confess.

3 1. When watching TV, the sudden appearance of advertisements is not hateful. What is really hateful is that after the long advertisement, there is an ending song.

Because you are sorry, I decided that this matter has nothing to do with you.

33. The husband becomes a philosopher, the wife an economist and the mother-in-law a strategist as soon as possible.

34. There are no women who can't marry men, only men who can't marry women.

35. If I am unreasonable, it is only because I feel insecure.

Classic funny quotation "Inner Volume"

1. Everyone else eats fried chicken and drinks coke. I drink hot water every day, and my health is better than theirs, which kills them.

2. The development of the track will be "natural" at any time, and the opportunity will always belong to those who are prepared. Emphasizing involution will not change the world except touching yourself.

3. Under the involution, many people hold the mentality of "I would rather be exhausted than starve to death".

My roommates were all sleeping, so I secretly went out to pick up garbage, had more money than them and killed them.

5. First place in the dormitory!

6. roommates are playing lol, and I secretly review and roll them to death.

7. As long as you are not dead, you will be dead.

8. They are all studying. I secretly sleep to make my body better than them and roll them to death.

9. My roommates are all asleep. I stole their cell phones and turned off the alarm clock. I will go to class alone tomorrow and kill them.

10. I'm a cabbage, killing other people's hearts, but I'm a cabbage.

1 1. No one has ever involved us. Only we have the right to decide whether to intervene or not.

12. involution is a systematic error, and hard work is a personal choice.

13. From now on, I will eat grapes every day. From now on, my children will have bigger eyes than them and will roll them to death.

14. You have been working so hard, you must not know how comfortable it is to be lazy. Reject involution! How comfortable it is to lie flat.

15. The stylist asked me what hairstyle I wanted, and I said naturally curly.

16. When we are strong inside, we will not take winning as the only value of the game.

17. A person who rolls in the middle is a master.

18. It's not an involution, it's learning quietly and then stunning everyone!

19. The partner will always only see the small cake thrown in front of him, and then tear his face to grab the small one.

20. You can go up. I want to lie down.