Comment on The Pear Tree

Another article expressing homesickness, with the same style as before. Last time it was powder squeezing, this time it was pear tree. They all carry good memories of the past, in squeezing powder, in pear trees and in concrete things.

About the pear tree-that pear tree is very big and grew in the garden behind the old house when I was a child. In spring, the trees are full of pears, white as snow and fragrant; In summer, lush foliage, like a big umbrella, blocks the shade and brings coolness to people; Autumn is full of fruits, and the memories of picking, picking, dividing and eating fruits with playmates fill the whole childhood; Later, one winter, the pear tree became a new house, but I found it had grown in my heart.

This article tells the story of pear tree in chronological order. From spring to autumn, pear trees bloom in spring, flourish in summer and are full of branches in autumn, which is the natural development process of pear trees. Every season, there is another fascinating story under the natural landscape. Flowers in spring hang honeycombs, leaves in summer boil bitter tea, and fruits in autumn.

The author has a deeper memory of autumn. When he remembered, the wind was sweet, so he wrote a long story about picking fruit in autumn.

Finally, it is summed up in one sentence, writing that spring comes and winter comes, and the four seasons cycle, and the story repeats itself year after year. Then use "Until a Winter" to transition to the story of pear trees replaced by new houses. The whole process is very coherent.

Let me talk about the emotional color of this article. The author wrote that the pear tree was not replaced by a new house until one winter, which shows that the story of the pear tree ended in a sad winter, and it was very regrettable at last.

There is a deep homesickness here. Later, by writing the happy scene of the new house, I often think of the story of the pear tree and express the feeling that the pear tree has never left everyone's life. "I realized that the pear tree has grown in my heart."

There seems to be another kind of comfort here, turning to faint homesickness.

suggestion

It can be seen from this article that the author has some ideas. The full text describes the development and decline of pear trees in the timeline of spring, summer, autumn and winter, and then turns from narration to lyricism, expressing the feelings that pear trees never leave but grow in their hearts.

The author's description of the stories that happened in each season can also be well connected in later memories. The full text also conceives two images, one is that pear trees express homesickness; The second is the replacement of new houses, expressing "a pear tree has grown in my heart".

In addition, the language of the full text is also beautiful and vivid. The scene of pear trees in spring and summer is described in front, and the picture is spread out with verbs, adjectives, conjunctions and idioms, which is vivid.

But I want to talk about the disadvantages:

( 1)

As far as language is concerned: there is repetition, and I saw a passage: "? In order to dream, I travel in different cities and wander among countless people. Whenever I feel depressed and angry because I feel that human feelings are like paper and things are different … "This can be changed to" Whenever I feel that human feelings are like paper and the world is cold? "

Personally, I feel that the "feeling" here is repeated with the "feeling" behind it. I just want to discuss it with you and may not need to change it. This repetition is just to strengthen your emotional color.

In addition, can the word "le" be removed in some places? There are more words written.

(2)

Form: the natural paragraphs of the article are not separated enough, the typesetting is not beautiful enough, and there are no pictures and texts, which affects the aesthetic experience.

(3)

Content: The whole article reveals the beauty of scenery description, story narration and lyricism. However, whether this kind of emotional beauty is vividly displayed remains to be discussed. There are not many fragments when expressing feelings in the full text, and they are concentrated in the last two paragraphs. In addition, it is a pity that pear trees end their lives in winter. Can this beauty be expressed?

You can write the scene of the pear tree being cut down in winter, the surrounding scene, or you can deliberately write the scene of the pear tree falling down in winter in front as a foreshadowing and rendering. Finally, whether the scene of the new house behind can be in sharp contrast with the scene of the pear tree being cut down in front can have an impact on vision, form an emotional sting and sublimate the feelings of the full text.

The story of splitting pears contains a faint sadness of parting. Can "pear blossom" be extended to "parting" to tell the sadness of parting?

Finally, the article only stays at the lyrical level. If you perform well, you can think about whether to draw an obvious philosophy or an implicit philosophy from these stories and images, which will be impressive and intriguing for a long time.

(4)

Just the title: you can be more vivid. The change from "pear tree" to "pear tree growing in the heart" is more in line with the theme of the article. Would it be better?

To sum up, this lyric is good, but it can be better.

@ Yan Ming | Education | Nanning?