Jokes that make boyfriends happy instantly.

Jokes that make boyfriends happy instantly (I) 1. I haven't thought about others since I met you and got married.

2. Dream of a memory, fall in love, and suddenly look back and keep eternity.

3. Endure floating names and change to shallow singing. Because of fate, I am quiet with you. Because of you, I will no longer bury the falling red outside the window.

You are the most literary boy I have ever seen. The most rational person. This is also what I think is the most similar between us.

Baby, I really love you. I know what I did upset you, but I will change. I can't live without you.

I've always wanted to be a flower that blooms in your hands and absorbs your constant warmth.

7. Now I find that I signed Guanyin!

8. You are a beacon in my heart. Someone else is waiting for a confession. I'm asking if you like him.

I really want to eat you all at once.

10. You are so important in my heart. I would be uncomfortable without you. Don't torture me, okay?

You are the most literary and rational man among the boys I have ever met. This is also what I think is the most similar between us.

12. Happiness is a very simple thing. When you grow up, simplicity is a very happy thing.

13. I'm an owl, but I don't want to have a' panda eye' boyfriend the next day!

14. If I stay in Xi 'an, I will work hard for three years, and you just graduated, and the house is basically fine. Let's get married first. Let's go to Zhengzhou by ourselves. I will accompany you and work hard for us in the future.

15. Believe in love and trust you more. My love for you is like the dazzling sunshine shining at the ends of the earth, but you turn a blind eye.

16. Dear past, thank you for giving me a lesson. Dear future, I'm ready.

17. You are the brightest star. You said that no matter what I became, you would love me for life.

18. It's sweet to miss you. You and the northwest wind have been with me.

19. You are nobody. You are the only one for me. I don't like waiting You are my only exception.

20. Let me accompany you to the ends of the earth in the century. 1。 Look forward to the future with pride.

Joke routines that amuse boyfriends instantly (part two) 2 1. Baby, I love your heart forever. I am really happy that you will accompany me to the end.

22. Sprinkle a touch of charm, slip quietly in the drizzle, and wait for you to pick it in the place where you rest and sit still.

23. Don't talk nonsense, I told you to sleep as soon as possible, and get up to eat my breakfast when you are full!

24. It's sweet to think of you, and I will always guard you, even if it's hard and hard, I will spend it with you.

25. I like to hold you and smell your faint fragrance. Heart to heart is so close, each other's heartbeat is the same rhythm. You have me, I have you, and I love you forever.

26. Because love is the love I can't bear to pay: so waiting is the wait I can't bear to pay: these loves, these waits, are not my own in the end!

27. Say loudly that you are a tear in my eyes, and I try my best not to let you fall.

28. After staying at home for several years, life is tempered, specious and beyond my heart. This growth has come true! You know what, lover!

29. I have always liked sleeping, and now I can't sleep. God told me that only you can cure me!

30. But the courier won't let me into the box.

3 1. You make me smile, and I quietly read the jumping dream in your eyes.

Love is like a wheel. If you turn it with your heart, it will turn quickly and steadily. Love is like milk, it will absorb nutrition only if you drink it often, and love is like a girl's mind. Don't guess, otherwise it will only make you feel confused, cherish the person in front of you and forget the secret love. I wish you happiness.

33. Many people pass by in the busy street. I turn a blind eye and think of you.

34. Loving you is my career, thinking of you is my career, hugging you is my specialty, and kissing you is my specialty!

35. Listen to the rain last night, listen to my heart tonight and watch the night with you tomorrow. If you like, I will accompany you through the storm of your life.

36. I hold you. You are the glass in my hand. When I let go, you are just glass slag.

Baby, my love for you has never changed. You are the part that I keep in my heart and give in to the status quo.

38. Plant a beautiful flower, which will bloom for you at the intersection where you often walk.

39. Sometimes love is really simple. Comfort each other and take care of each other. There is love from relatives, friends and lovers in this world. Not everyone can have everything, but you will definitely have one of them. As long as there is one of them, you can also say loudly and proudly: I am also loved!

40. I will do everything I promised, said and promised you!

Jokes that make your boyfriend happy in an instant (Chapter 3) 4 1. Please believe me, I can't promise to do my best, but I will try my best to do better.

I know we can only be friends, but my love remains the same. As long as one day you need my love, I will always be by your side, even if my shoulders are still open for you.

43. With you in my life, I finally realized the feeling of missing someone day and night. I miss you so much that I feel sad at the thought that I can't extricate myself. This feeling can only be felt by those who have loved it!

44. Once you were my most beautiful first love, but now it's an unforgettable memory. Why can't the Buddha give us that happy ending? ! But let me remember it all my life!

45. You are nobody. You are the only one for me. You are my eternal dream. I think I have a dream all my life.

46. If I am a question mark, then you are an exclamation point. I am the question, and you are my only answer.

47. As long as you are willing, I will always accompany you, never changing. Free from external interference, desire, and emotion, I love you naturally and cleanly.

48. In this way, you won't lose anywhere I go.

49. My love is always with you. I said that my love for you is like an hourglass, flowing repeatedly and spreading all the time.

5 1. As long as I can see you often, I feel happy: as long as I snuggle up to your petite body, I feel at ease, as if I feel comfortable just holding you to sleep.

52. Baby, my love for you has never changed. How long will it last? At this moment, I just want you to hug me

53. Don't face me with Mona Lisa's smile. I really want to shave your eyebrows.

54. You have warmed my blood, drawn my soul and imprisoned my soul. The thin wind is slowly tearing at the accumulated cold, and my long hair is burning scarlet in your eyes and in your heart.

55. You are my paradise. Don't erase my enthusiasm for you before you turn around and say you really love me.

56. I don't want to push you away again. I just want to give you a hug, even though there is a galaxy between us.

57. But this is the way I like it. What should I do?

58. I want to be with you, watch the sunrise and sunset with you, and collect romantic atmosphere with you.

59. If I were a rose, I would like to dedicate it to Fan Fen: If I were the sun, I would like to dedicate it to warmth; If I were a diamond, I would dedicate myself to eternity … but I am nothing but saying: I love you!

60. I care about heaven and earth only because there is your charming smile between them: intoxicating eyes, heavenly voice, moving figure, singing and dancing in the soft light of morning light like a light spirit.

A joke that amuses girls.

Funny jokes for girls 1

Someone went to the zoo to see the orangutan. I heard that the orangutan was very clever, so I paid tribute to the orangutan, and the orangutan actually imitated his salute. Then the man patted his chest again, and the orangutan also imitated and patted his chest; The man thought it was very interesting and continued to stick out his tongue at the orangutan. Unexpectedly, this time the orangutan did not imitate, but threw stones at him. The man angrily questioned the breeder, who told him that sticking out his tongue meant calling him a fool in the eyes of orangutans. This man realized.

The next day, the man came to the zoo to see the orangutan, saluted it and patted its chest. Orangutans imitate it Then the man took out a stick and hit him on the head, and then gave it to the orangutan. Unexpectedly, the orangutan laughed and spat out his tongue at the man.

2

Son: Dad, tell me a story.

Dad: OK. Once upon a time, there was a frog. ......

Son: No, I want to hear historical stories.

Dad: OK. In the Song Dynasty, there was a frog. ......

three

A miser went to a bar to drink, took out the money prepared in advance and ordered a glass of beer.

Halfway through the drink, he felt anxious and wanted to go to the bathroom. But I'm afraid others will drink.

So he borrowed a pen and paper from the waiter. The paper says: I spit in the cup.

Then he left safely.

After a while, he came back and found the wine still there. He is very happy.

However, he found a few more words on the note: I threw up, too

four

Young teachers in a university love playing mahjong. Once, he played all night. At 7:40 the next morning, he got off the mahjong table at 7: 30 and hurried to class.

It happened that the students on duty today didn't clean the blackboard. He shouted, "Who is the farmer?" The students on duty did not dare to answer, so they had to wipe it themselves, but the eraser could not be found. He shouted again, "Hey ... where's the whiteboard?"

five

Once upon a time, there was a scholar who had a stupid son. One day, a friend came to visit the scholar. In order to show his talent, he decided to let his son entertain the guests, and specially taught him a few words: "If the guests ask you why our peach tree is missing? Just say' I'll cut it and sell it'; If he asks you why our fence is so messy. Just say' ruined by chaos'; If he asks you how our family has so much money, you can say,' My parents earned it hard'; If he asks you why you are so smart. Just say,' of course, it's been like this for generations in our family.' "So the son went to entertain guests.

The guest asked, "Where's your father?" The son replied, "I'll cut it and sell it!" " The guest was surprised and asked, "What about your mother?" The son replied, "The soldiers and horses are all useless!" The guest asks again: "Is there so much cow dung in front of your house?" The son proudly said, "My parents worked hard to earn it!" The guest asked angrily, "How can you say that?" The son proudly said, "Of course, our family has been like this for generations!" "

six

Once, my brother was in a history class, and the teacher asked him, "Who is Louis XIV?"

The younger brother replied, "Louis XIV, Louis X plus Louis IV, right?"

Hearing this, the teacher almost vomited blood and was out of breath, and then said angrily, "Why don't you say Louis VII times Louis II?"

Who knows the younger brother replied without thinking: "Teacher, from a mathematical point of view, Louis seven times Louis two should be equal to Louis square fourteen, so you are wrong."

The teacher fainted on the spot!

seven

A little boy was taken to the hospital by his mother. In order to make the little boy less nervous, the doctor pointed to his ear and teased him, "Is this your nose, little friend?"

The little boy looked at the doctor and turned to his mother seriously and said, "Mom, we need a new doctor."

eight

When a student handed in his homework to the art teacher, he handed in a blank sheet of paper.

The teacher asked, "What about the painting?"

The student replied, "This is it!" He pointed to a blank sheet of paper and said.

Teacher: "What did you draw?"

Student: "Cows eat grass."

Teacher: "Where is the grass?"

Student: "eaten by cows."

Teacher: "What about the cow?"

Student: "Why are the cows still standing there after all the grass has been eaten?"

nine

The mother once again called her son to get up: "Jacques, good boy, it's time to get up." You have heard the cock crow several times. "

"What does cock crow have to do with me? I am not a hen. "

10

One day, a professor suddenly stopped teaching and seriously said to everyone:

"If the classmate sitting in the middle can be as quiet as the classmate sitting at the end playing cards, the classmate sitting in front will not be disturbed."

Make your girlfriend happy.

The north and south sides of the volleyball court were playing in full swing, and a foreign audience shouted: Come on, South! Come on in the south! A fat girl refused to accept and shouted: Come on, woman! Come on, woman!

Mom and 2-year-old baby are watching TV, and the baby is around the TV. Mom: Baby, what are you looking for? Baby: I'm looking for someone on TV. Where are they?

My son picked up a billiards in the street and threw it around. Father saw it and said, be careful, don't break people. After listening, the son asked, Dad, can a good person smash it?

Americans all use Apple mobile phones and Apple computers. Because Americans eat beef and need apples to balance their cholesterol, American apple brands are easier to eat.

A recruit is always scolded for falling behind when he gets up, so he buys dyes on his body, which looks like camouflage. The bugle sounded in the middle of the night, and he was the first to re-enter the barracks. The officer praised him: very good! But next time, pay attention to the Grenade hanging behind.

On the way, I heard an uncle shouting excitedly: Yes! The national football team scored 3 goals! That's right! This is men's football! Yes, yes! It's a game with South Korea! What? Same to you? Right, right, right! The other side is also a men's football team!

You are the only customer I love, and serving customers is our aim. I believe that the customer is God and the customer is always right. Supervision telephone number:12315; Service hotline: 520xx 14!

I wrote your name in the sky, but it was taken away by the wind; I wrote your name on the beach and was swept away by the waves; Finally, I wrote your name in every corner of the street, and I was taken away by the police!

If you are unhappy, I will care about you. If you are unhappy, I will care about you. If you are unhappy, I will care about you. If you're really in trouble, I'll turn it off.

There are two people who have been in love for many years, but they can't be together. One day there was an earthquake and they finally came together. They are. Ceiling and floor.

There is a big ship at sea. Its initial capacity is 60 people. As a result, it only carried 59 people and sank to the bottom of the sea! Why is this? A: This is a submarine.

The officer tested the recruits: In the dark night, you were standing guard, and suddenly someone hugged you from behind. What should you say? A soldier quickly replied, honey, let me go.

In my eyes, you are particularly beautiful, from eyelashes to dandruff.

I racked my brains to write a poem praising you, but I failed, because even the most beautiful words in the world can't describe one tenth of your beauty!

Lao Zhang: Lao Li's laundry is about to open! What should we send? Lao Wang: Send a plaque. Lao Zhang: What should I write on it? Lao Wang: Just write my innocence!

Uncle, you are over eighty, and you still call your wife, dear. How did you do that? Grandpa: Forget it. I suddenly forgot her name a few years ago, but I was afraid to ask.

Art school stipulates that boys are not allowed to fall in love with female models. Xiao Qiang not only talked, but also got the model pregnant. Was known by the school. A few days later, the school announced that Xiao Qiang had been expelled for destroying props.

Pig-hunting notice: I lost a pure white pig. Features: smart, considerate, with mobile phone, check SMS. Send the information back quickly! Master misses you now!

Americans take a taxi in China: Your car is so slow! Ours is much faster. To the destination, the cost is fifty yuan. Ah! So expensive! A: This rice is American!

When the fat mother applied for a membership card, she said, I am 29 years old now, and how many months old am I? The staff looked at it and said doubtfully, how many months has it been? Fat mother struggled for a long time and said that it has been 66 months.

Humorous jokes that amuse girls.

First, the plan that does not aim at exams focuses on hooliganism.

Second, girls hate two kinds of boys. One is that anyone can warm it, and it is central air conditioning. The other is the space message board, which is like a slut gathering place.

Third, the class teacher confiscated six mobile phones yesterday and smashed them in front of us. After smashing it, he found seven mobile phones on the ground ... The head teacher was willful and never let go of his own.

You missed my lovely, kind, gentle, beautiful, sexy, smart and lively girlfriend. If I were you, I would choose to commit suicide.

5. It is said that the urban routine deeply wants to go back to the countryside, but I don't know that the muddy road in the countryside is not easy to walk.

I am not infatuated, but no one can arouse my new enthusiasm.

Seven, I think the most powerful person in the world is to sleep when you should, get up when you should, and do your homework when you should.

Eight, gently unbutton your belt, slowly take off your coat, expose your fair skin, emit a faint body fragrance, can't help but bite you, forget it ~ eat zongzi.

Nine, the deadly summer is coming. If anyone can install air conditioning in our classroom, we will marry the head teacher.

I'm not a bad wolf. If I leave, I won't come back.

Eleven, there is a sad call, I will return to you in seconds, and you will reincarnate me.

12. Once upon a time, there was a student in China who wanted to finish his homework before eating. As a result, he starved to death

Thirteen, the meaning of flirting is probably: from the ambiguous heart to the other person's little moves to the last day of sleeping in a bed.

Fourteen, I am kind but forced into prostitution.

On the bus, a little girl pointed a wand at me behind my back and said that I would turn you into the most beautiful girl in the world. When I turned around, she shouted to her mother that I knew magic.

Sixteen, please yourself first, as for others, look at the mood.

If I can't get it, I don't want you. I want to smile at you.

Let's not meet again. Shampooing is tiring and expensive.

Nineteen, I will soon have the worst grades with the schoolmasters. I still feel a little shy.

Even if the heavy rain turns the whole city upside down, I will get to school before seven o'clock.