Humorous jokes of two people in the car

Sometimes I use some funny jokes to interact with my friends on WeChat, because I can learn more about different jokes. The following are the funny jokes of two people in a auto faster that I compiled for you. I hope I can help you.

Two funny jokes

1. What do Tang Priests and Mentors hate most? A: Winter and summer vacations. Because every winter and summer vacation, they are forced to climb mountains and mountains to learn from the scriptures again.

2. I said to my younger brother who just graduated from high school, "There are so many women in college that you can often meet them. They will get to know you slowly, say a few words occasionally, and laugh when they meet ..." When my younger brother heard this, his heart began to ripple. I went on to say, "They are dormitory doormen, corridor cleaners, canteen waiters, booth waiters and computer room administrators".

3. On the way to learn the scriptures ... the Monkey King: Why is it so hot? The Monkey King: It's like a burning mountain! The Monkey King: How did you climb the Flame Mountain again? Tang Priest: Bullshit! That's Chongqing!

4. Why do you all learn to drive? ! How can I cross the road in the future! ! So scared! ! !

5. When I was a freshman, I went to a math class and a buddy fell asleep. I was found halfway by the math teacher in senior three. The teacher came up to him and asked, "What's wrong with you, classmate?" The buddy immediately pretended to be ill and said, "Teacher, I feel a little dizzy ..." The teacher smiled and said, "Can you not be carried away by the high numbers in the English book?"

6. A woman saw a wooden bottle with many bamboo sticks in front of a street vendor. Thinking of her bad luck recently, the woman asked the stall owner, "How much is fortune telling?" The stall owner turned pale and said to the woman, "I sell chopsticks."

7. In the Internet cafe, there is a man in his thirties and forties sitting next to him. I glanced at his screen while playing. It seems to be chatting on QQ. Another woman asked him to turn on the video, and this guy actually pointed the camera at me, and then he hurried to the bathroom. Out of humanitarianism, I dug my nose into the camera for a minute, and then the woman silently turned off the video. I won't tell you. When the man came back, he sent dozens of rolling windows, and the woman didn't care about him at all.

8. The geographical topic of the most bunker in history "Learning geography well is to better _ _ _ _? A. Be a big official B. Make a lot of money C. Make your parents happy D. Live. " This is a multiple-choice question, and the topic requires "only one is the correct option".

9. An entrepreneur shows off to the beautiful women around him how to distinguish the truly successful people: 1. No business card; 2. Don't drive by yourself; 3. clothes have no logo4. 4. there is no community name, only the house number; 5. Take a nap every day; 6. Frequent activities in the suburbs; 7. There is almost no cash in the bag ... A farmer next to him interrupted excitedly: "Our village is full of such people!"

10. My little nephew is very fat. Yesterday, he slept naked, and he was full of meat. I said, "You should lose weight. Mimi is so big. " He said, "Aunt, I understand that you are flat-chested and you are jealous."

1 1. The husband and wife quarreled and the pet dog bit her husband's leg. Afterwards, the wife felt that she was wrong and wanted to apologize to her husband, but she was too embarrassed to ask, so she wrote a note: I was wrong, please forgive me! The wife asked the dog to bring the note to her husband. The husband read the note and stroked the dog's head affectionately: In this family, you still understand me!

12. I went to my girlfriend's house to play today. I accidentally dropped the cucumber on my girlfriend's refrigerator and broke it. I smiled: honey, I broke your boyfriend. The best friend said domineering: Your boyfriend should not pay me. I said: ok! So I called my boyfriend. I only heard a bell ringing in the closet next to me. The air suddenly became very quiet. ...

13. A colleague went to the water dispenser to get water, and suddenly let out a cry, which startled us. "What's the matter?" "Oh, nothing, it's very hot!" "Oh, idiot!" Another colleague went to fetch water and shouted again, which surprised us again. Just as the manager came out with a glass of water and asked, "What's the matter?" "Oh, nothing, it's hot ..." "Oh, idiot!" The manager went to fetch water and shouted, "Ah … Shit! Leakage! A group of idiots! "

14. Ordinary youth: It's snowing, so you can have a snowball fight with your girlfriend. Fu: I can meet many girls in the snow again. Poor and frustrated: it's snowing, so I can make a snowman to accompany me. Idiot youth: It's delicious to mix some sugar with snow.

15. My predecessor has been abroad for one year. Today, he sent me a photo with a tall and beautiful woman with long hair. I was so angry that I almost cried. I called him directly and scolded him, "Shit, is it great to have a new lover?" Look at that smelly face! "He was silent for a while and explained to me," No, he went to Thailand. This is someone else! " "

16. Pay attention to your health when the weather is cold. One is to undress, the other is not to drink cold drinks, the third is to take a bath, which is cold under temptation, the fifth is to blow dry, the sixth is to be picky about food, and the seventh is not to eat too spicy. Do you remember Bajie?

17. The king is on a business trip. He was afraid that the queen would cheat, so he installed a mechanism under the queen and everything he put in would be cut off. When he came back, he found that all his little JJs were gone, except one soldier's little jj. The king decided to reward him, and the soldiers were too excited to speak.

18. Put all the unhappy things together, knead them, knead them into a ball, and then throw them out.

19. Just now, a Lamborghini passed by me and threw water at me. At that time, I swore that when I got rich, I would buy a raincoat of my own.

Two funny jokes in the car fast (classic)

1. Mosquito nets are hung in the dormitory in summer, and one elder sister never collects mosquito nets during the day. Everyone asked her why, and she said that there was a feeling of Xixia princess in the mosquito net. Another sister said, "Shit, the princess hangs a mosquito net 15 yuan?"

2. A boy, who confessed downstairs in the girls' dormitory, wanted to use musical instruments to set off the atmosphere, but only played suona. Just when it was windy, the girl opened the window and shouted, What are you going to do, red or white? ! Boys are stupid, that depends on your opinion …

3. Listening to a group of men in the unit talking about private money, everyone is feeling, anyway, the wife will find out; Angkor across from me said flatly, "I keep everything in the bank." They asked, "What about the passbook or card?" Angkor smiled innocently: "Burn it. When you want to use it, take your ID card to make it up. "

Boiled water this morning, and my mother asked me to put it in a thermos. When I was carrying a pot of boiling water, I saw a dead fly parked at my feet. I was mentally retarded at that time. I gently took the boiled water and wanted to burn it ... now I'm lying in bed with my leg broken.

Under normal circumstances, I don't ask my husband to do housework, not because I feel distressed, but because it is too cumbersome. For example, tell him: honey, go and wash the grapes! He will ask first: how much to wash? Do you want to soak? Then ask: which bottle of detergent should I use? Then ask: the green bottle you mentioned is used up. Do you have a new one? Finally: Where are the grapes? ..... I took pains to explain, and I have washed it.

6. Two mountaineers climbed to the top of Mount Everest. A man said, "I want to plant my American flag on the top of the mountain." I spent my whole life. Give me the flag quickly. " Another man said, "What? Give you a flag? I thought you brought it! "

7. Once I went to take a shower, when I took a shower, I said to the teacher who took a shower, Master, I am a little dirty. I haven't taken a shower for a while recently. The master righteously said, this is nothing. I've been rubbing it for so many years, and I haven't seen many people buried. After rubbing for a while, the master said with internal injuries, young man, you rubbed your coat too much.

8. My daughter-in-law asked me yesterday, "If I fight with someone and the enemy sends you a beautiful woman against me, what will you do?" I quickly waved my fist to show my loyalty: "Be sure to let the enemy come back!"

9. My wife called me today and said, Honey, your QQ has a virus, so I cleaned it for you. I hesitated for a long time, thinking, is QQ upgraded, how can it still have this function? I asked her: virus, how to clean it up? The wife replied: Hey, I cleaned it manually. As soon as I logged into my QQ today, I found 30 QQ female friends missing, and I was in tears. .....

10. One day, the police station called, and the person opposite the phone called for help, and then the phone was cut off. The police stopped when they called again, so the police collected 20 yuan in a hurry. When they called again, the man sighed and said, "It's all right!" " "

1 1. The husband and wife worked hard, and later bought a villa with a sea view. The pressure to repay the mortgage every day was enormous, and they went out early and returned late. Then what their nanny does most every day is to take the dog to watch the sea and drink coffee on the balcony.

12. I remember when I was in primary school, I often liked to kiss the most beautiful girl in my class and then run away quickly. I kissed her not because she was beautiful, but because her boyfriend was a school gangster. I like the feeling of being chased for a week after kissing. Death is always with me like the wind.

13. The person you like will always appear when you don't wash your hair for three days and your face for two days.

14. An old lady walked up to the rescuer at the seaside and said, Did you jump into the sea and save my grandson ashore? The ambulanceman said: Nothing, this is what I should do. The old lady screamed and said, what do you mean nothing? Where is my grandson's swimming cap? ?

15. Xiaohong called her boyfriend and his angry voice came from the opposite side. "How many times have I said, don't call me at night, I'm playing games." And then I hung up. Through the window of KFC, Xiaohong was moved to tears when she saw her boyfriend who put down his mobile phone trying to wipe the table. Xiaohong changed to a rich boyfriend the next day.

16. When I was a child, I watched TV and said that bird's nest nourishes blood. That day, I poked my bird's nest down, cooked it in a pot for a long time, and added 2 spoonfuls of sugar. If my mother hadn't hit me, I would have become the first person in our village to eat dirt. . .

17. I once went to a relative's house for a drink and met a girl who was pleasing to the eye. That's a meal! I finally understand. Then my dad came over and went straight to the girl and said, Sister, why are you here? This is my son! Son, call aunt! I ...

18. 19 years old owned the first car, lawns coolpad, and earned the first bucket of gold at the age of 23, adding a Volkswagen phaeton. At the age of 27, I began to reach the peak of my life. At the age of 30, I owned my third car, Paramera. At the age of 35, I owned my fourth car, Ferrari 458. At the age of 35, he ushered in the peak of his career and added the fifth son of pagani Wind. Up to now, I have more than 20 luxury cars

19. Although I can't earn much money, I will save money. For example, I saw a Ferrari today, but I didn't buy it, and I saved more than 7 million at once.

20. Later _ _ got married, and Pu Shu cured his depression. Ma Di's song "Nanshan Rotten Street", Donye. S's song "Miss Dong's Journey to the West", Yao XIII completed his high school dream, the good sister band finally banned the job, Chen Li still refused to sign the company, and Zhao Lei was still wandering with his southern girl, as if everyone had finally made a hasty reconciliation with the world. A funny joke with connotation.

Two funny jokes by Aauto Quicker (selected articles)

1. When the wife went to visit her husband in prison, she felt at home and asked, "Dear, how are you getting along here?" "Just like at home, you are not allowed to go anywhere and the food is terrible!"

2. The banana fan was picked by Taishang Laojun, but it was in the hands of Princess Iron Fan; Cows don't know Samadhi, but Hong Haier was born with it. . . The connotation of this is really intriguing! Is there wood? !

3. Go to the cinema to watch The Painted Skin 2, which tells that ChristianRandPhillips was frozen by a cold fox in Kyubi no Youko. A man next door gloated: "You are singing the fire of winter ..."

4. If you ctrl+alt+del jump out of the task manager, it is clear from top to bottom that you know all the processes, what they do, the consequences of turning them off, and the current state of the computer can be clearly known from the digital beats occupied by CPU and memory, then you should not have a girlfriend.

Falling in love is forbidden in school, but two students in our class still talk in secret. After being discovered by the class teacher, I called my parents. The class teacher originally wanted parents to talk about their children. As a result, the parents chatted and found that the other family was in good condition, so they got engaged and engaged. ...

6. Teach you to write Wong Kar-wai lines in 5 seconds, that is, an event+a detour time+a boring event. For example, three days, six hours and eight minutes after the accident, I went to eat the cone again, but this time, I didn't want taro.

7. Eat in the canteen at noon today, and play with your mobile phone while eating. At this moment, a beautiful woman who couldn't find an empty table sat opposite me. Suddenly, I became nervous. But in order not to lose my cool, I pretended to be calm. I wanted to take a gentle bite of rice, but I put my mobile phone in my mouth when I was excited. ...

8. Lights out at night, and the director kicks the door in and says, Why don't you go out? Then we'll turn off the lights. One day, the doorbell rang and the director broke into the house again. Before he could speak, a roommate said, director, you're here, waiting for you for a long time, and then turn off the lights.

9. A female colleague and a male colleague in the office can't beat each other. She picked up the perfume and sprayed it on her clothes, then smiled and said, "I'll wait for your daughter-in-law to fight with you tonight!" "

10. When I was in college, sometimes I really didn't want to eat the food in the canteen, so I went to the food street off campus. There are various delicacies such as roast duck and roast chicken, which greatly increases the appetite. Then I went back to the school cafeteria and bought two steamed buns and half a dish to eat.

1 1. It takes only a moment to fall in love with you, but it takes a lifetime to forget you, even not enough.

12. You were in my heart when you were thin, and then you got fat and fell into it.

13. The saddest thing is that your best friend likes your boyfriend and your boyfriend's buddies like you!

14. The weather is fine today. I stayed indoors for a long time and am going to play in the living room.

15. It's not difficult to be single, but it's difficult to deal with those who try their best to make you end it.

16. I bought a 50-cent snack when I was poor, and licked the bag clean after eating.

17. If there is too much money, don't consider it; There is no money at all, and you don't have to consider it.

18. It should be very light to be so shameless and heartless.

19. Some people like to take advantage and want to have children as soon as they hear the discount on painless abortion.

20. I only drink pure water when drinking water and pure milk when drinking milk, so I am very simple.

2 1. Family is the most ruthless, and great love is comparable to no love; The person who loves you the most is always yourself.

22. If I haven't practiced martial arts since I was a child, I'll hit you for fear of losing face.

23. I only trust two people in this world, one is me and the other is myself.

24. Have you ever imagined that the electric fan will fall down in class, the one on the teacher's head?

25. I once passed by a man, sparking and almost moving a brick.

26. No idol makes us familiar with every inch of her skin like Cang.

Guess you are interested in:

1. An interesting joke.

2.Aauto Quicker's personal funny jokes

3. A faster and interesting word.

4. Single-person funny clips are automatically faster.

5.Aauto Quicker's dialogue is very funny.