Joke Collection Website - Mood Talk - Lines from Zhao Benshan's sketch "The Hour Worker"

Lines from Zhao Benshan's sketch "The Hour Worker"

Big Brother: My back hurts when I sleep, and I feel queasy when I eat! Head straight confused, Chou what what is wrong! I have been pursuing happiness all my life, and I have got it. What is happiness? Answer: Happiness is pain!

Big sister: Some people spend money on eating and drinking, some people spend money on singing, some people spend money on beauty, and some people spend money on massage. Today, I have a good job, and some people spend money to chat with others.

Big Brother: Oh, my son said to find someone for me and be in place at nine o'clock.

Elder sister: This place beats around the bush. This is the place, Ding Dong ~

Big Brother: Who is it?

Big Sister: It's me, Big Brother.

Big Brother: God, this whisper is so sweet, the sugar content is quite high, at least four plus signs ... (Open the door) God, this whisper is audio-visual to the old lady.

Elder sister: You're welcome. Just call your elder sister. Tell your mother what to do. Are you alone in this room?

Big Brother: There is also a puppy in that house.

Elder sister: That's you!

Big Brother: Huh?

Elder sister: Your son said that I would start counting down when I went out. There was a traffic jam on the road just now. There is still 15 minutes to go. Come on, ah.

Big Brother: What are you doing?

Elder sister: Our aim is to be positive and enthusiastic, and exchange my sincerity for your smile. Come on, I'll take it off first.

Big brother: (urgent) big sister, big sister ...

Elder sister: Hurry up, there is no time.

Big Brother: No, you didn't ... You got it. What are you doing?

Elder sister: Sit down.

Big Brother: Impossible.

Sister: Sit down first.

Big Brother: Sister, I have a bad heart.

Elder sister: shy! ..... Well, I'll give you two humorous puzzles first. First, test your IQ. Secondly, ease the awkward atmosphere. Listen, it's funny. For example, how many steps does it take to put an elephant in the refrigerator?

Ha ha ha ha, three steps. Step one, open the refrigerator door, step two, put the elephant in, and step three (sán), close the refrigerator door.

Where's that guy? (Big Brother turns behind him) Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

(To Big Brother) Look at me laughing like this. Why don't you laugh?

Big Brother: (disdainful) What are you laughing at? Are you there?

Elder sister: Well, no sense of humor, ha. I'll give you a debut topic, saying that the zoo held a get-together for all the animals. Which animal (mèi) didn't come?

(Big Brother is silent and at a loss)

Big sister: Elephant! Shut it in the refrigerator! hahaha ......

Big Brother: What? Hey yo.

Big sister: Oh, yo (slowly) ... you're going to kill me!

Big Brother: Hum, I'm exhausted.

Elder sister: Hmm. ...

Big Brother: Hey! Sister, can we stop laughing?

Elder sister: How?

Big Brother: Let's see what my son wants you to do. Can you tell me before you laugh?

Elder sister: chat with you, chat with you, chat with you.

Big brother: escort!

Elder sister: What are you talking about?

Big Brother: (afraid of misunderstanding) Sister, I really don't understand. ...

Elder sister: You don't understand, ask! I'm telling you, our job is called housekeeping service when it's big, and it's called hourly worker when it's small, and it's called "psychologist" abroad, which translates into Chinese as a psychologist. I don't know anything! Go, hurt my self-esteem! (gets up and walks to the door)

Big Brother: Big Sister! You said I was alone, and I was wronged at home all day. Finally found someone who hurt me! (seeing big sister coming back) ... back?

Elder sister: Take the money!

Big Brother: What money?

Elder sister: Your son said, 40 an hour, one hour.

Big Brother: Oh, here's 50!

Elder sister: (I want to return it to my eldest brother) Take the change! I don't have any change. Take it!

Big Brother: I don't have any change. I gave it to you, sister.

Sister: Why do I still need ten dollars? Take it! Take change.

Big Brother: You can't change it, and I don't have any change ... (Helpless) Then you can accompany me for another ten dollars!

Elder sister: Then I'll put up with another ten dollars.

Big Brother: Oh. Sister, please sit down. I'm really sorry about that. I apologize. Sit down! Ha ha. Smoking?

Elder sister: No.

Big Brother: How about drinking water?

Elder sister: Bring your own.

Big Brother: Eat fruit?

Big sister: disgusting.

Big Brother: What are you doing?

Elder sister: What are you talking about?

Big Brother: Old.

Elder sister: Go ahead, it will cost you ten yuan anyway.

Big Brother: Tell you what, big sister, I'll tell you a little joke, and I'll open an embarrassing situation for you. This joke always makes me laugh. I mean this joke will be with me for the rest of my life!

Say! A tiger was bitten by a snake. The tiger was in a hurry, trying to stamp the snake to death, chasing it and chasing it to a small river. The snake, the lake ... got into the water, and the tiger was waiting on the river bank. I can't believe you won't come out. Soon, a turtle got out of it, and the tiger went up and held it down. "Small kind! I don't know you in a vest (jiá)? " Ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha. ...

Big sister: (staring at big brother)

Big Brother: (embarrassed) Er ... Sister, I repeat, I made a mistake. No, it's a bastard in the water. When he finished, a snake came out. The tiger said, "I still know you without your vest!" " "(elder sister took off her vest again) elder sister, look at you. Let me tell you a joke. Why do you always cooperate with me with the whole vest?

Elder sister: Let's go!

Big Brother: Why?

Elder sister: It hurts self-esteem.

Big Brother: Big Sister, vest!

Elder sister: you give it back to me, you take it!

Big Brother: (puts on the vest of big sister) Shall I wear it? You talk.

Elder sister: What are you talking about?

Big Brother: Just say, "This snake is in the water, and soon I will come up in my vest." Talk to me! (Seeing Big Sister snickering) Big Sister is happy, hahahahahahaha.

Elder sister: You said you were the eldest brother. Don't you understand humor? Why does your son always say that you are unhappy?

Big Brother: Honestly, Big Sister.

Elder sister: Huh?

Big Brother: So, I am in the countryside.

Elder sister: Ah.

Big brother: I am in the countryside, the old man and the old lady ... so many brothers!

Elder sister: Yes.

Big Brother: Then I am the point.

Elder sister: Huh?

Big Brother: Later my son was filial to me.

Elder sister: Yes.

Big Brother: He earns some money in the city.

Elder sister: Yes.

Big brother: I just took me to the city ... when I got to the city, everything changed. No one spoke and no one spoke.

Big sister: Stop it, big brother. I know your situation too well. My analysis of the elderly is quite profound.

Big Brother: Ah.

Elder sister: I roughly divide the elderly into three types.

Big Brother: (Curious) Tell me!

Big sister: emotional loss, endocrine disorder, Alzheimer's disease.

Big Brother: Then what type do I belong to?

Elder sister: You don't belong to any of these three. You belong to the house grievance type.

Big Brother: That's right.

Big sister: Oh.

Big Brother: The room is so humbled that I don't know anyone in town.

Elder sister: You said you were fine. You go out for a walk, play chess and dance yangko.

Big Brother: Don't mention it.

Elder sister: Huh?

Big Brother: One day, there was no way to hold me back, so I took a walk in the street.

Elder sister: Yes.

Big Brother: It's rare to see a group of yangko dancing in the square.

Elder sister: Yes.

Big Brother: It made my eyes water.

Big sister: Twist it!

Big brother: I'm in a daze. Three old men twisted two steps and hit me.

Elder sister: Why is that?

Big Brother: I molested that old lady.

Elder sister: You said you didn't know the old lady either. what are you reading?

Big Brother: Impossible. I can do two movements when I dance the yangko, and it's a clang (a twist)! Is this a flying eye?

Elder sister: Isn't this a flying eye? Eyes bigger, eyes will fly out!

Big brother: ouch ...

Elder sister: You, you designated to see the beautiful old lady, right?

Big Brother: Forget it. If she's beautiful, she's worth hitting. Is she still beautiful?

Elder sister: Huh?

Big Brother: That old lady is uglier than you. Ah ... no, I said, she is not as ugly as you ... you are uglier than her!

..... Sister, I always hurt your self-esteem. you said ...

Elder sister: (Helpless) Brother, please don't (biè).

Big Brother: Huh?

Elder sister: I know exactly what type you are.

Big Brother: (curious) What kind?

Elder sister: You definitely belong to the type of go looking for trouble.

Big Brother: Sister, tell the truth. I lived to be sixty years old. As soon as I entered the city, my neighbors didn't know me, and suddenly I became dumb! I don't know how to play ...

Elder sister: forget it, just leave home, the whole network and surf the Internet.

Big Brother: I haven't fished for many years. How can I get a net? After all these years.

Elder sister: I'm talking about computers, surfing the Internet.

Big Brother: Power grid?

Elder sister: Yes.

Big Brother: Computer access?

Big sister: Computer network.

Big Brother: What net?

Big sister: the internet.

Big Brother: Ha ha ha. I see, you are talking about high technology. You can chat online on the Internet.

Elder sister: Yes.

Big Brother: Good! But the money for computers is ... expensive!

Elder sister: Your consumption concept is not good. Look at me, I'm covered in famous brands!

Big Brother: Ah.

Elder sister: My shoes are Adida's. Pants, Pushkin's. Clothes, Clinton's. Belt, Yeltsin's! Look at me again. I use world-class brand-name cosmetics in this pocket.

Big Brother: Ah.

Elder sister: I play whatever Madonna, a famous American singer, plays.

Big Brother: Who is Madonna?

Elder sister: You don't know her? Her sister is familiar to you.

Big Brother: Who is it?

Big sister: McDonald's!

Big brother: (laughs) I have eaten!

Big sister: My figure.

Big Brother: Sister, I envy you so much.

Big sister: famous brand, rich!

Big Brother: (laughs) Being rich ... I really envy you. We have no unprovoked contact today.

Elder sister: Why?

Big Brother: You will take me there tomorrow. ...

Elder sister: What are you doing?

Big Brother: I'll go with you. I will go out to work with you every day.

Elder sister: No.

Big brother: I don't make money! I'm just having fun. Well, you're the boss and I'm the one who does your job.

Elder sister: Huh?

Big brother: OK, I'll carry a bag. (Start the demonstration)

Elder sister: What can you do?

Big Brother: Look, specify the route. (picks up the cup) Isn't this a cup? I am you and you are me.

Elder sister: Ah.

Big Brother: See if I can do it.

Elder sister: What's this?

(Big Brother goes out)

Big Brother: Ding Dong. ...

Elder sister: Who is it?

Big Brother: Andy Lau! Just you, want to talk to someone?

Elder sister: How?

Big Brother: You, you want to eat and drink, your son is filial, your daughter-in-law didn't say anything, you spend money to find someone to chat with you. I think you are the kind of person who has no food to eat or support.

Elder sister: Hahaha ...

Big Brother: Get out! Can I do that?

Elder sister: you said you ... eldest brother, don't you know everything?

Big Brother: Huh?

Elder sister: Why are you always unhappy on such a good day?

Big Brother: Sister, I understand! Old people, you should have fun when you are old!

Elder sister: Yes!

Big Brother: We have to get out!

Elder sister: Yes!

Big Brother: What should I say when I see you today?

Elder sister: What's the matter?

Big Brother: (shaking hands with big sister) Thank you.

Elder sister: What are you thankful for?

Big Brother: Half a year. I have never been so happy. Six months! Never said these words!

Elder sister: Really?

Big Brother: Thank you. That's all. Thank you very much. (suddenly let go of the elder sister's hand)

Elder sister: Brother, you, you, you ... smoke?

Big brother: I ... I don't drink water.

Elder sister: Do you drink water?

Big Brother: I don't smoke.

Elder sister: Why don't you sit down?

Big brother: I won't sit! Ah ... Sister, are you busy ... I have to go back. (Looking back) Huh?

Elder sister: This is your home!

Big Brother: Yes!

(curtain call)

Extended data:

? The Hour Worker is a sketch directed by Zhang Huizhong, written by He Qingkui, Gong Kaibo and Zhang Hong, and performed by Zhao Benshan and Song Dandan. On February 4, 2000, it was broadcast on the CCTV Spring Festival Gala in 2000.

The sketch is about a new "big brother" who can't adapt to his new life, so his son hired an hourly worker to chat with him.

The sketch won the first prize in the sketch category selected by CCTV in 2000 as "My Favorite Spring Festival Gala Program".

Baidu encyclopedia-hourly worker