I need a sketch starring about three girls and two boys, and I want it to be funny with a hundred points.

(recruitment and marketing supervisor of a company)

Applicant: Long Min: an agricultural farmer, Tai Youcai: a talented student with no social background, Zhen Youquan: a son of a government official.

TAI Youcai (holding his hand back, holding his head up and thinking): Time flies, and I'm competing in today's market.

I have the right to be faithful (in a suit and tie, striding forward): According to my investigation, it's really difficult to ask for a good job in this increasingly competitive market. Comrades, I'm here to apply for it in order to survive.

The first examiner said: You are all here to apply. What our company wants is talents in sales promotion, either with academic qualifications or experience. You are all people with academic qualifications. .

(Suddenly, a man who broke into a ragged clothes recently ran too fast and almost fell down)

The farmer who broke into the house scratched his head and said simply and honestly, Elder Sister, I'm sorry I'm late

(The assistant examiner was furious): Who is your elder sister? This girl is only the age of a flower ! Huh? How can such a person suddenly come out!

(Long Min looks at the examiner in surprise and says): Elder sister? There are no flowers in my village, only a handful of them! (To exaggerate, use the posture of holding to describe the flowers)

(The assistant examiner clenched his fist to suppress his anger): All right. Now let's introduce ourselves, including your name, address, age, nationality, birthday, gender, marital status and education. . . . Submit it

(three applicants are surprised) (the examiner smiles and says): Don't bother, just submit your names and academic experience

Zhen Youquan: That's more like it, otherwise I would have thought it was the police station!

Thai Youcai: My name is Thai Youcai, and I graduated from Thailand with a master's degree. After being nurtured by the school culture, honed by the society and tested by life, I came to your company to apply. I will sell my knowledge to the company, use my culture to sell it, and bring the world outlook, values and outlook on honor and disgrace to the overall interests of the company. . . .

assistant examiner: stop, stop, stop, next! (Tai Youcai adjusts her glasses and throws her head back)

Zhen Youquan: My name is Zhen Youquan, Zhen De's Zhen. I graduated from that H-University. Because of the social competition, well, I came to this company. Then, I want to hire this position unexpectedly. That's all. Thank you

(the middle examiner adds his own actions)

Long Min: My name is Long Min, and I am a dragon with a dragon (the whole audience laughs). I have nothing else but rich experience. Please listen to the next chapter for details.

Zhen Youquan: Long Min after all, a farmer with such a name

Examiner: All right, all right, let's start asking questions

Associate Examiner: If a beautiful girl appears in front of you, how can you sell yourself to make her accept you?

longmin: examiner, can you not? I already have a daughter-in-law. I'm afraid my daughter-in-law won't let me sleep in the bed.

(angry) Associate Examiner: Hypothesis, do you understand the hypothesis? ! !

longmin: suppose, oh.

tai Youcai: hey, I really feel sad for those who have no knowledge.

tai Youcai: I will recite a very emotional word to make her submit to my literary talent.

Zhen Youquan: I will call back all the traffic police and shout at the place where the girl appears: beautiful girl: Zhen Youquan, I really love you.

Long Min: I am still afraid, but I must seize the opportunity. I will say: Big sister, I can cook, I can wash clothes, and I can farm.

Associate Examiner: Tai Youcai, do you think a poem can impress that girl? If so, many old ladies will fall in love with you every day, because you say a lot every day. You can recite a poem now to see if you can make the aunt across the street (selling stinky things) {this sentence can be used in Changsha dialect} accept you

Deputy examiner: Zhen has the right, you said you can ask all the traffic police to help you, well, go to the street alone and find a girl to loudly say that you love her, and see if she will say that you are crazy!

Associate Examiner: Long Min, hey, do you want other girls to give you a baby just because you are so bear-like? You think others are your domestic pigs. You can have babies if you want to.

Deputy Examiner: Since you are selling yourself, you should take the other person as a fortress.

Long Min: Examiner, it's a peaceful time, so there is no fortress. If we want to fight the Japanese fortress now, the able-bodied men in our village have already picked up hoes, is it my turn?

assistant examiner: hey, you, this is still a hypothesis, a hypothesis! ! Hey, I wonder, Long Min, why did you get into our job?

Long Min: I have experience (patting my chest, holding my head high, showing pride)

Associate examiner: You have experience? Then why did you say that the donkey is not the horse's mouth?

Long Min (aggrieved): No, I really have experience. Look, I sold chickens at home, pigs in the village, cows in the village and blood in the city. Isn't this all experience? Oh, by the way, when I was selling cows, a young man in his early 2 s told me how dare you sell cows on the road, uncle? You are really between cattle A and cattle C. I still wonder, how can I buy a cow and become a cow ABC

(The assistant examiner lowers his head and is silent for a while) Then he looks up and says, I think you can go home and sell blood.

Long Min: Examiner, you are not right. I sell blood in the city, not at home. My family doesn't have that equipment.

Assistant examiner: Hey! (shaking his head)

Examiner: Now, how do you think you can sell yourself so that the girl can accept you?

longmin: I think. . .

Associate Examiner: Stop, don't talk, and squat down with me (Long Min pitifully walks to the platform)

Zhen Youquan: I think there is something wrong with this question

Associate Examiner: Nonsense, no problem. Can it be called a question?

TAI Youcai: I think this question is of great value for discussion. If I am allowed to call my tutor and ask

Examiners: You. . . .

examiner: why do you think this question is so difficult?

Long Min, who is talented, has the right to be virtuous,: This is a bad question {Long Min stood up from the table }

The examiner said maliciously: Long Min, who told you to get up, go back and squat down

Long Min squatted down with his head in his hands

Deputy examiner: Why is this a bad question?

(Long Min stands up again and walks to the stage) Long Min says: Are you willing to sell yourself, then?

assistant examiner: who told you to sell yourself?

Long Min said: Isn't selling yourself equal to selling yourself? Examiner: Are you willing to sell yourself?

(The examiner is angry, and the other two applicants laugh)

Examiner: Do you think you don't look like a commodity now? Living in this highly competitive environment, there are too many people with academic qualifications and backgrounds. More experienced, if you can't sell yourself well, do you think any company will accept you? The examiner just made an analogy. In fact, that girl is the job you are looking for. If you can't let that girl accept you, it means you can't let the company you are looking for accept you. In the end, you still have nothing. I hope you can understand. In fact, we made a detailed investigation on you before you came to our company to apply. We already know about you, and our company is in need of talents like you. You are so talented, with a deep academic background, that you can make a great contribution to the company in persuading customers. Zhen has the right, is calm when things go wrong, and is good at using personal relationships to achieve sales purposes. Long Min, although you have a little knowledge, I believe most bosses still like to do business with honest people, at least they will be honest. So the three of you are hired temporarily, with a probation period of 2 months.

(Long Min, Tai Youcai, Zhen has the right to be surprised)

Tai Youcai: I'm sorry, examiner, I think it's unfair and I believe in my knowledge, so I hope that four examiners can give us another chance, and we will convince four examiners to hire us

Examiner: Very good, and Zhen has the right?

Zhen has the right: I never know how to write "submission". I agree with what Tai Youcai said

(the examiner laughs): Well (four examiners and the first two candidates look at Long Min with suspicion)

(Long Min bows his hand in fear): My daughter-in-law told me when I went out that I should learn more from the city after I came out. I tell you that I listened to her very much.

(Everyone laughs)

Examiner: Then we will visit three people again at the same time tomorrow. (Applause)

Location: A university event: Choir recruited

Character: Judge A, Judge B, student ABCDE

A: Lighting engineer, sound recording engineer, photographer, everything is ready ~ ~

B: Hey hey hey, lighting engineer, sound recording engineer with a fart, and then there will be cappella. Where did you get so much nonsense?

a: well, today is a big day for our glee club to recruit new members. it's my first time as a judge. I want to be professional.

b: alas, I really don't know why the teacher asked you to be a judge. You are so stupid that you came out of nowhere. Okay, okay, cut the crap, get ready quickly, and be eye-catching when you come to the interview. Be a senior brother.

a: all right, all right. (walking to the door to have a look) Oh, my God, why are there so many people? Why am I more nervous than them? < P > B: Look at your little promise. I'll teach you if you want to be nervous, that's three words. "Play mature", "Play mature" will you?

a: hey, I can play cool with this. (pretending to be very handsome and stupid)

B: Oh, almost, that's it. The interview is about to start, so listen carefully. Remember, all the people our glee club wants to recruit are elites.

a: ha, you mean me?

b: well, except you. (They return to their seats to prepare for the interview)

A Classmate: Hello, two judges

A: Hey, hello, hello.

b: ahem ... mature.

a: (serious) well, the image is good. please introduce yourself.

A: oh, my name is Jiang Xueyou, and I'm from International Trade 71, Department of Finance and Economics. Today I'll bring you a song ~ ~

A: Slow down, what did you say your name was?

A: Jiang Xueyou, brother.

b: I'm a man of nature, so why are you in a hurry? Brother, go on.

A: oh, I brought a water of forgetfulness by Andy Lau today. I hope you will like it. thank you.

a: wait, why don't you sing Jacky Cheung's songs?

B: (looking impatiently at A)

A: Excuse me, brother, who is Jacky Cheung?

(A and B look at each other, depressed)

A: You don't even know Jacky Cheung?

A: I have listened to Andy Lau's songs since I was a child, and I grew up listening to his songs.

A: Oh ~ ~

A: Hmm ~ Can't you be admitted if you don't listen to Jacky Cheung's songs

B: I said you're going to let others sing, younger brother. Ignore him and go on

A: Yes, sister. (singing)

B: (Ding Ding Ding ~ ~) Well, the tone is good, but you have to put your heart into singing this song.

a: that's right, senior sister is right. You should be emotionally involved. Come on, I'll show you. (I got up and sang and danced there, while my younger brother applauded.)

b: (Walking over) Gnome male-",is this your interview or someone else's interview? Brother, you can go out and call the next one.

a: I'm sorry, it was a whim. I'll control it next time.

B classmate: hello, brothers and sisters. I'm from the art department. My name is Sun Lan.

Sun Nan! ! !

B: It's not Sun Nan, it's Sun Lan.

A and B: Oh

B: Well, why don't I have an imitation show!

a: you can imitate, yes, yes, I like watching imitation best.

b: ahem.

a: well, let's get started! Who will you imitate?

B: I imitate Jay Chou and Yu-Ching Fei thousands of miles away.

b: ok, here we go.

B: (imitating)

b: ding-ding ~ ~ that's enough, the imitation is good.

a: well, younger brother, to imitate this kind of thing (stand up and walk over to explain, B is depressed), we should grasp the voice characteristics of the star. Take Jay Chou for example, Jay Chou's voice is to use Kuqiang, singing like crying. I'll send you away. What about Yu-Ching Fei and Yu-Ching Fei? Do you know what he sings for?

B: what?

a: on his hips. Your hips are not round enough for him (he says, hitting B on the hip). Didn't you see his hips swaying when he sang? Speak from your hips, and I'll walk you away ~ ~

B: Hey, brother, why don't you perform!

b: huh? I ah!

B: let's hear it from the audience! ! !

a: ok, I'll make a fool of myself. (singing all the time, until you get to the back) I'll walk you away (there is no sound)

B: Brother, why is there no sound?

a: huh? Well, no sound is right. Another feature of Yu-Ching Fei's voice is that it is illusory.

B: Unreal?

a: yes, it's illusory, false and ethereal to a silent state, like the blooming fireworks slowly disappearing into the quiet night sky (intoxicated). Go back and practice hard. I am optimistic about you. (The younger brother leaves)

B: I said, what are you doing here? You are here to perform.

A: Sorry, I am also teaching the next generation. I promise I won't come again.

B: It's good to be true. Next,

C: Hello, brothers and sisters. I'm from the management department. My name is Cai Yilin.

a: (drinking water, spraying it out) yo, today our glee club is full of big names.

C: I'm sorry, brother. I think you misunderstood. It's one of 1234, Kirin's Lin. Because on the day I was born, my father dreamed that a unicorn was bared its teeth, so he named it Yilin.

b: oh, that's right. then start singing.

C: ok, I'll bring you a Chinese cabbage.

a: ha, Jolin Tsai can also sing Chinese cabbage.

b: shh ~ ~

a: (I almost cried, so I wiped my tears with a tissue)

C: oh, my god, I made my brother cry. I'm sorry, brother.

b: school sister, it's none of your business, but he's a loser. You sang very well and made him cry. It was good and very infectious.

C: I'm leaving, brother. Take care.

a: (waving hands and saying 88 to c, keep crying) let's go.

b: look at your little promise, you are still a man.

a: I'm a pure man.

b: yo, it's still pure, just like you! Next ~ ~

D: Hello, judges, my name is ~ ~

A: Wait, I'll finish my water first.

D: my name is Lin Xi, and I'm from the computer department.

a: lin xi? This name is so familiar.

b: a famous lyricist in hongkong, lin xi (in vernacular)

a: oh, I said, it looks so familiar. nice to meet you.

b: what looks familiar? Have you ever seen anyone?

A: No

B: (glancing at it) You can start

D: I brought a moon for my brothers and sisters, thank you (singing)

A: (The more I listened, the colder I felt. I found a piece of cloth to wrap myself up and walked to D. ) Are you coming to freeze me to death?