A joke poem about cattle

1. The more couplets there are about famous sayings and jokes about cows, the better.

Niu Lao plum structure system

One cow can replace seven people.

Looking at a thousand fingers coldly, I bowed my head and made a willing cow.

I am like a cow, eating grass, milking and blood.

The old cow also knows that the sunset is late, so she doesn't have to whip herself.

Second, couplets.

Ugly spring enters the house; Niu sui fu Lin men

On the edge of Claudia's dance floor, I fell in love with spring.

Hengzhou on the other side is ten miles green, and countless oxen are sunny in spring.

Liu Cui Yingchun Li Qianqing Niu Gengdi Wanshan Gold

Grazing and grain harvesting of Fubier cattle in Qianmen, Hongmei Aoxue.

Niu Geng Woye thousands of green magpies, red plum blossoms.

Cowherd never tired of the Milky Way and the Weaver Girl, but sought worldly happiness.

Cowherd, Flute, Haruka, Goddess, Scattered Flowers, Blessing.

Every holiday season, the mighty people in Kunchun are in high spirits.

2. Jokes about cows. Hello!

Traditional company: There are two cows. Sell one and buy a bull. Your herd has grown, and so have your economic interests. Finally, you sell them and retire with the income.

American company: There are two cows. You sell one and force the remaining one to produce the milk of four cows. You will be very surprised when the cow is exhausted.

French company: There are two cows. You went on strike because you wanted three cows.

Japanese company: There are two cows. You redesigned them. Therefore, they are 1 times the normal size, but they can produce 20 times the milk. Then you create an image of cartoon cow called Cowkimon and sell it all over the world.

British company: You have two cows. But all this is crazy.

German company: You have two cows. Your engineer can improve them, live 100 years, 1 month 1 time, and milk themselves.

Italian company: You have two cows. But you don't know where they are, so you have lunch and rest.

Russian company: You have two cows. You counted and found that you had five cows. If you count it again, there are 46 cows. Count it again and find that there are actually only 12 cows. So you got bored, stopped counting cows and opened the third bottle of vodka.

Swiss company: There are 5,000 cows, none of which are yours. You raise these cows by taking money from others.

China Company: You have two cows. But there are 300 people milking. You claim that the employment rate is extremely high and the productivity of cattle is extremely high, while arresting journalists who report the truth.

Cold jokes about cows can never be explained.

One beautiful morning, the sky was clear, but a farmer sat in front of his house drunk and lost his mind.

A passerby came forward curiously and asked, "fellow villager, the weather is so good today, why don't you enjoy it, but drink here?"

The farmer replied, "well, there are some things you can never explain."

Passerby: "What misfortune happened?"

Farmer: "I milked today and just squeezed a bucket." The cow kicked the bucket over with its left foot. "

Passerby: "Bad luck, but not bad enough."

Farmer: "Well, there are some things you can never explain."

Passerby: "Then what?"

Farmer: "I tied the cow's left leg to the post with a rope and squeezed it." As a result, when a bucket was just full, it kicked the bucket over with its right leg. "

Passers-by smiled and asked, "Then what?"

Farmer: "Well, there are some things you can never explain." I tied his right leg to the post, just filled a bucket, and he swept it down with his tail. "

Passerby: "It's bad enough. Forget it, don't be sad. "

Farmer: "Well, there are some things you can never explain."

Passerby: "What else? ! "

Farmer: "I don't have a rope this time. I'm going to tie the oxtail to the post with a belt." I pulled out my belt and grabbed the cow's tail. At this moment, my pants fell off, just as my girlfriend came in ... "

Already crazy.

One day, on the vast Australian grassland, two cows were discussing the European mad cow disease.

One cow said to another cow, "I heard that mad cow disease in Europe is terrible." I wonder if we have it here? "

Another cow shouted, "Are you crazy? Are we kangaroos? "

Trains and cows

The train suddenly grunted and then stopped suddenly. All the passengers jumped up from their seats.

"What happened, conductor?" A woman shouted angrily.

"Nothing, just a hateful cow hit us."

"Is it on the road?"

"Oh, it doesn't make much difference," replied the conductor. "We met it in the cowshed by the roadside."

The use of cowhide

The teacher asked the students, "Who can talk about the use of cowhide?"

Niu Niu scrambled to raise her hand: "You can make leather shoes and belts ..."

Bingbing then replied, "You can use it to blow!"

Teacher: "※% # @ ..."

Teacher: "Xinxin, you are the best. Please answer. "

Yan Yan pondered for a long time and said, "The biggest use of cowhide is to pack beef ..."

The teacher fainted.

I am a male.

A girl went to the pasture as a trainee to milk, and everyone else squeezed a bucket. She just squeezed a little and was in a hurry. Suddenly, the old cow said, "Miss, I am a male!" " "

Anatomy class

In anatomy class, there are five hearts on the table, one of which is at least four times bigger than the others. The students whispered:

"This person must have died of pleural effusion."

"This person must have died of myocarditis, and his heart has become so thick. It must be inflamed."

"This person must be a myocardial infarction, and both left and right ventricles are hypertrophy."

The teacher said, "In order to let the students see more clearly, I specially prepared a big cow heart today ..."

Classmate: "@ # @ $%"&; amp*……"

Make him jealous

A farmer was dragged to court by his wife. The wife said to the judge, "I really can't live with him." He only cares about his cows. "

The judge gave her an idea: "You can also try to make him jealous. You can find a bull to dance with from time to time. "

I am guilty.

A man went to church to confess.

The priest said to him, "Everyone is guilty. What's wrong with you? "

The man replied, "Dad, I stole a cow from someone else. What should I do? " ? Can I give you the cow? "

The priest replied, "I don't want it." You should return that cow to its owner. "

The man said, "But he saidno."

4. Tell some jokes about cows. A king chose his husband, pulled a cow to the river and said, whoever can make the cow nod first and then jump into the river, I will marry the princess to him.

A butcher went up to the cow and said, isn't it great? The cow nodded.

The butcher said again, do you know me? The cow shook her head.

The butcher stabbed the cow's ass, and the cow jumped into the river in pain.

The king thought the butcher was rude, so the butcher asked to try again and the king agreed. The cow was pulled to the river again.

The butcher stepped forward and said to the cow; Do you know me? The cow nodded.

The butcher said again, can't you return Niu B? The cow shook her head.

The butcher said with a smile; Do you know what to do? The cow turned and jumped into the river.

Happy Year of the Ox in China.

5. Cow's joke "Steak and Cow"

Little Charlie is bragging with the boy John next door.

Charlie said, "My uncle invented a machine. As long as the cows come in from this end, the steak can be sent out from that end. Great! "

John said, "My cousin also invented a machine. As long as the steak is sent in from this end, the cow can come out from that end. Better than your uncle! "

"John," said Charlie, "let your cousin sell the machine to my uncle."

"Why?" John asked.

"My uncle can stop raising cattle in the future." Charlie said.

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Borrow cattle

A man took a letter to borrow cattle from a rich man's house. The rich man was talking to his guest, so he picked up the letter and read it. He couldn't read, but he was afraid that others would know that he couldn't read, so he pretended to open the letter and said to the messenger, "I see, I'll go by myself later."

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Cow joke

A group of animals were shipwrecked and drifted in a small boat. The food was running out, so they decided to throw some companions down through games. The rule is to tell jokes in turn. If someone's joke can't make all the animals laugh, it's in trouble.

Cattle first. The cow's joke was so wonderful that almost all the animals laughed, but the pig didn't. So the cow was thrown into the sea. Then it's the sheep's turn. Sheep's jokes suck. No one can laugh. But the pig smiled

"What are you laughing at?" The animals asked in surprise.

"Sorry, I remembered the joke of Niu." The pig answered slowly.