After giving birth to a second child, Dabao obviously felt lost. What should parents do?

When I was a child, there was a passage in the cartoon Crayon Shinchan, which I still remember vividly:

The Nohara family has a new little daughter. Miya's mother doesn't care about Xiao Xin as much as before, because she has to take care of her daughter. Hiroshi's father only cares about getting close to her daughter and ignores Xiao Xin.

When I saw this, I felt wronged for Xiao Xin, but I was moved by his childlike innocence-I shouted to run away from home, but I just ran to Xiaobai's kennel and didn't want to go far;

Obviously, my angry sister stole my parents' attention, but when my sister woke up, she reluctantly let her fall asleep.

When Meiya and Guang Zhi realized their mistakes and gave him a kiss, they looked loveless and unloved.

When I grow up, I find that animation is not only an animation, but also a true portrayal of real life.

In the second-child family, there are many "Nohara Shinsuke" who are neglected because their mother gave birth to Bauer, but not all parents can realize that their different treatment of Dabao and Bauer is problematic.

David frost said: When you have only one child, you are your parents; When you have two children, you are a referee.

However, few parents can become qualified judges. When they treat their two children, they are often biased and subconsciously love the young children.

Of course, parents don't feel that they have done anything wrong. After all, Balbi Dabao is young and not sensible, and needs to devote more energy. Moreover, Dabao is older and more mature, so it is "natural" for his younger brothers and sisters-parents to think so.

What parents don't know is that when they are partial to Bauer, Dabao will feel wronged and his feelings with his parents will become more and more alienated.

However, Bauer, who was hurt by his parents, is likely to become selfish and self-centered because of the unreasonable protection of his parents.

Therefore, for families with a second child, the most correct way to treat their children is to be impartial, fair and just.

Of course, just balancing the relationship between two children is not enough. Next, let's discuss the solution to this problem:

Teach children to be brothers and sisters. When Bauer is in their belly, parents should tell Dabao that this is their brother and sister and they should get along well.

But we should pay attention to one thing, and we should not blindly emphasize that the boss will make way for the second child in the future.

Because Dabao once monopolized the love of parents, if they saw their parents teach them to give in before their younger brothers and sisters were born, they would probably think that the second child would take away their parents' love and be very dissatisfied with the second child.

There are many cases of the contradiction between the boss and the second child caused by parents' partiality on the Internet.

So, at least on the surface, parents should tell Dabao that even if Bauer is born, their love for Dabao will not be reduced by half.

Bauer came into this world with another person who likes Dabao, not a competitor. However, Bauer grew up a little slowly. Before he grew up, he needed Dabao to take care of him, just as their parents took care of Dabao.

Besides, after Bauer is sensible, his parents should teach Bauer to respect his brother and sister. We can't condone some rude behaviors just because our children are young, such as robbing our brother/sister's toys. In short, we should teach big brother and second brother to be respectful.

Parents are not involved in children's disputes. If there are two children at home, it is inevitable that they will quarrel or fight-it is easy for children to make a scene because of a small matter. Some small things that are just sesame seeds in the eyes of adults are big things in the eyes of children.

At this time, parents must pay attention to their attitude, and the best way to deal with it is not to interfere or help each other.

In fact, it is normal for children to have conflicts. If no one interferes, maybe it will be made up in the next second.

On the contrary, if parents get involved, once they are partial to either side, they will be regarded as eccentric, which will lead to a longer dispute between brothers and sisters and may even lead to alienation. Teach children to share when they were young, they often refused to share with others. In other words, they were very exclusive.

Take Dabao as an example. Before Bauer was born, he was the only child in the family, and his parents' love only belonged to him. Whether he is cold, hungry or thirsty, his parents always notice him for the first time.

However, after Bauer was born, his parents' attention to himself will inevitably be distracted, and Dabao may be unhappy at this time.

And Bauer, because he is the youngest child in the family, is also loved and raised. He will not think that he robbed his brother and sister's parents, but that his brother and sister robbed him too much.

Therefore, smart parents should learn to teach their children to share.

Maybe the children are too young to understand, but parents can do this, such as giving Dabao candy and Bauer cookies, telling them that if they give each other half, they can eat two different things. Doing so can gradually guide children to get used to sharing.

Don't compare two children. Some parents are used to educating their younger brothers and sisters with their older brothers and sisters, saying, "Why can't you make such achievements? Why are you so much worse than him? Can't you work hard? "

Maybe parents think that they are doing this out of kindness and for the sake of their children, but they forget that the last thing we liked when we were children was "other people's children" because they would compare us to nothing.

In this case, how can children not be brought into conflict by the objects they compare? They even mistakenly think that their parents don't like themselves and only like another excellent child. From then on, they not only hated their brothers/sisters, but also had opinions about their parents.

Therefore, if parents really love their children, don't compare them, because this will only make the feelings of the two children worse.

Parents should understand that there are no two identical leaves in this world. In the same way, everyone is unique. He is not good at anything, but he must have advantages that others can't replace. As parents, we should discover the advantages of children and explore their potential, instead of blindly denying their Excellence and undermining their self-confidence.

In short, if parents plan to have a second child, they must not be careless about how to deal with the relationship between Dabao and Bauer. The above four points must be kept in mind. Only in this way can the feelings between children get better and better, and there will be no situation in which brothers are jealous of each other.