100 funny sentence that can kill people.

First, my parents tried their best to save money for me, and they didn't eat or drink. In fact, my family conditions are very good, so I asked my parents why. My mother said, you are ugly, only people with more dowry want it!

Second, go out shopping and find that the streets are full of beautiful women with ugly men. Suddenly I feel very sad: Why don't I have a girlfriend? I am uglier than them.

3. Today, a buddy's wife gave birth and called me to report the good news. I was going to ask him: Is it a boy or a girl? As a result, the brain asked him: Whose is it? Now this guy has to do a paternity test, and his wife won't live or die. I think it's best to stand by and keep silent.

Fourth, my daily state is quite regular. Don't wake up in the morning, don't wake up in the afternoon, fight chicken blood at night, and regret in the middle of the night.

Never quarrel with your parents, because you will only be scolded if you win, and you will only be beaten if you win.

Six or five years ago, I talked about a girlfriend. Her father didn't like me and married her away. Today, I suddenly met her father in the street. Although I hate him, I called Uncle Sheng and handed him a Chinese. Her father smoked two cigarettes: I didn't expect you to succeed today, uncle, I regret it! At first, I thought your boy was a beggar's life. I was afraid my daughter would suffer, so I wouldn't let her follow you anyway. What I never expected was that begging can earn so much money now!

7. Watching the news said it was dangerous to play mobile phone while walking, which scared me to play while running.

8. Before going to bed at night, my wife asked her husband, "If I get terminally ill, will you treat me?" My husband was about to fall asleep and said in a daze, "Don't talk nonsense ... you have to be cured if you lose everything!" " "The wife said," What if you get it? Husband who will be cured. "The wife asked," why? "Husband:" It's not easy to make money alone. "After listening to this, the wife stuffed her husband's medical record under the pillow and fell asleep peacefully.

Fortunately, I don't have a date, otherwise I would have reached out to reply to the message in such a cold day.

I thought we could walk to the end together, but I didn't expect you to take a taxi in a few steps.

Eleven, stop complaining that you can't find the right person among1400 million people, and you can't find the correct answer to four multiple-choice questions.

12. Girls should never go out alone at night. It is really dangerous. There are barbecues and desserts all over the street, and no one can dissuade them. I can't help but walk into a room and gain several pounds.

Hope to adopt, thank you.