I heard my own voice. Original text written by Chen Min

I heard my own voice

On Wednesday evening, when the hour and minute hands of the horseshoe watch overlapped, which was 6:30, our house suddenly became quiet. My parents, like me, were nervously gathered around the radio. Irrationalism is a kind of limiting or belittling the role of reason in the process of understanding. They held their breath and listened to the announcer's announcement: "Now, please listen to a chorus of " "Little Birds in the Forest", performed by the Fengyuan District Youth Home Choir." After the announcer finished speaking, a very light and thin hissing sound came from the radio, and then the piano sounded again

Voice. This is the introduction to the song. After the clanging piano played a set of arpeggios and a gorgeous melody, the voices of the chorus members came from the radio. However, these one hundred chorus members did not sing any lyrics (they had no lyrics at all). They all pursed their lips and only hummed in a nasal voice, "Mum - Mum - Mum -" This chorus song *** has three sections of lyrics. In the first two sections of lyrics, they only sing "壣", because they are singing as accompaniment, and their mouth, nasal cavity, brain cavity and chest cavity have all become The sound box of the musical instrument: the soprano is the flute; the alto is the oboe; the tenor is the clarinet; the bass is the pipe - this is what the conductor of the choir, Teacher Feng, told everyone personally. They hummed a melodious and fresh melody under the piano's unison. Mu, Mu, Mu... "This is a spring morning, with a gentle wind, rustling leaves, and gurgling streams. The nature that has been lonely for a winter is now full of spring and white. The pistils are growing, the green buds are sprouting, the red is fragrant, the dew is scattering the crystal pearls..." Listening to the beautiful melody, I remembered Teacher Feng's explanation of this passage. "Mom, mom, mom..." Suddenly, my heart trembled.

Ah! Among the humming of a hundred people divided into four parts, a boy's song suddenly jumped out: Little bird, little bird, when you cry, every leaf dances to you, and the Dingdong creek accompanies you, Even the dewdrops smile at you... The singing is so bright and the articulation is so clear and mellow. Ah, the lyrics, flapping the wings of the notes, flew out of the radio lightly and happily.

Ah, my blood is gushing, my heart is pounding, my eyes are a little blurry, and my head is a little dizzy; I forget whether I am still sitting on the sofa, my body is light Now, I'm going to fly, to the blue sky and white clouds, to the blurred dreams... This boy who is leading the singing is me! It was the first time I heard my own voice! I never imagined that after passing through electric current and magnetic field, my voice would become so loud, so grand, and so sweet and charming!

Ah, people, who among you can accurately describe my mood at that time? I just feel like everything is spinning around me. The sunshine outside the window is so bright, the roses on the windowsill are so delicate, the air is so fresh, my father is so loving, my mother is so beautiful, ah, everything, everything is smiling at me. Ah, the worries I had during rehearsals are all gone now. Before this, I complained about the accompaniment of these 100 people more than once. I remember that when the lead singer and the accompaniment singers practiced together for the first time, I stood far in front of the chorus. When the piano introduction passed, when the chorus members hummed in their nasal voices, The submelody came out, and when I opened my mouth to sing the first verse, I felt that the backing vocals behind me were pressing towards me like the rising tide of the sea, and my voice was quickly drowned out. I was like a cicada. I tried my best to sing but couldn't make my voice stand out. I got angry and closed my mouth. Teacher Feng, who was specially invited from the Conservatory of Music to tutor and conduct our singing, saw that I stopped singing. He stretched out his right hand and grabbed it in the air, pinched it, cut off the accompaniment, walked down from the podium, and asked me quietly: " Xu Xin, what's wrong with you? Are you not feeling well? ""No, the backup singer's voice was so loud that it completely covered my voice. I, I couldn't hear my own voice at all! "Oh, that's why." Teacher Feng handed me his thermos water cup, "Xu Xin, the voice of the accompaniment singer has been reduced to the minimum, the lightest - you don't have to worry, in the future, you will Stay closest to the microphone so that everyone's voices

will not cover you.

Xu Xin, your voice is beautiful to begin with, and with the help of accompaniment, it will be even more colorful and charming. Come on, have a drink of water and continue rehearsing, okay? "

I didn't say anything or drink his water. I just sat on the chair with my head down and picked my fingernails. "Xu Xin, don't be so petty, let's practice together again." "Teacher Feng tugged on my sleeve and begged me in a low voice again. "..." I gently broke away from his hand, but remained silent.

Maybe my silence had an effect. He walked up to the podium in a few steps and said to the chorus members: "Students, what part are you in the first two paragraphs of "Birds in the Forest"? "Backing vocals." "Many people said. "Yes, you are the backup singers. The so-called accompaniment singing is to serve as a foil and foil - to support the moon, do you understand? ”

“Understood——! "I hope everyone can further control the volume when practicing together." You must know that you must not dominate the scene, but be like green leaves setting off red flowers. Only in this way can our performance reach a perfect artistic state. Do you understand? ”

“I understand! "A hundred and twenty voices answered in unison. Only then did I stand up and walk to my seat. "I won, hum, even Teacher Feng gave me three points! "I thought happily in my heart. Why did the gray-haired Teacher Feng coax me? Why did he beg me again and again? I knew in my heart that my heart was as clear as water. I knew whether "Bird in the Forest" could be successfully sung and whether it could become a sensation. , Teacher Feng is counting on me. This is not only because boys aged twelve or thirteen are suffering from voice changes, and it is difficult for him to find a good voice like mine, but mainly because of Yue. Because of Teacher Mei Jingzi. Tsukimi Jingzi is the art instructor of the elementary school choir in Z City, Japan. She listened to my song when she visited our youth home a few days ago. I remember it very vividly. , when I finished singing the "Astro Boy" episode, she hugged me in her arms like crazy and kept talking excitedly. Although I couldn't understand her words, I knew she was definitely talking. She praised me endlessly. I knew that her praise made me special in the chorus. "The key to the success of this song is Xu Xin's two lead vocals. "I heard Teacher Feng say this to others with my own ears. After Teacher Feng's mobilization, the choir's voice was indeed much quieter, but I still felt that their voices were always disturbing me, my No matter how expressively they sang, I always cursed in my mind: Huh, a bunch of flies are buzzing! I got angry again during the formal rehearsal, and in order to highlight my own voice, I said a few words. I screamed the lyrics.

Teacher Feng gave in again. He argued with Teacher Sun, the original counselor of the choir, for a long time, and finally removed five from each of the four voices. members - this is why the chorus of 120 people was 100 people during the official recording.

Okay, now it’s okay. My worries during the rehearsal are all gone today. The wind blew away. I always felt that my voice was like a rusty and blunt needle, which could never penetrate the densely woven curtain of the choir's voice. But now, judging from the harmonious effect broadcast on the radio, their My voice seems a bit weak. Listen, the backup singers cooperate with me very well. When I sing the beating and fast-paced sound patterns, they gently hum the lyrical second melody. At this time, they are like gentle spring water. , I am a proud fish in the water; when I draw a long note and sing "Ah—

—", they turn into a brisk "La La La La". At this time, I feel that I They are budding flowers, they are lively raindrops, showering for me, dancing for me - in short, they are doing their best to highlight me,

Me, me! But the song ended in a few minutes. Oh, how I wish the radio station could play it every day, how I wish I could listen to my voice with the accompanying singers every day. I never expected it. Queen, I heard my own voice again, but this time, alas... After our choir's program was broadcast on the radio, the leaders of the district youth home were so happy that they contacted various places and begged to borrow two songs. A large truck was used to organize the choir to go on a spring outing to Xiayunling in the outer suburbs on Sunday.

Early on Sunday morning, when the two trucks were filled with laughter and were about to set off, Didi - a beautiful Shanghai brand car drove into the compound. As soon as the car stopped, Teacher Feng jumped out of it and shouted in all directions: "Xu Xin, Xu Xin -" I heard the shout, but before I could figure out what was going on, Teacher Feng pulled me out of the truck. Get into the car. Ah, Tsukimi Shizuko! She and her translator had been sitting in the car for a long time. When she saw me coming in, she stood up, shook hands with me enthusiastically, and then asked me to sit next to her. Hi, this is my first time taking a car for a spring outing.

The car drove smoothly to the suburbs. On the suburban road, I breathed the spring air and saw the spring water and flowers. I felt that spring was looking at me from the clear sky with bright eyes. . When our arrogant car passed two trucks, I saw my own worth from the envious looks cast by my friends - I am different from them, I am the lead singer, the protagonist, and... "Future singer" as teacher Shizuko said! Yes, I am a head taller than the backup singers. I can feel a sense of superiority that I have never had before. A hotel had just been built to accommodate foreign guests, and I was the only one in our choir who could enter. When I wiped my hands with a napkin and picked up a piece of yellow cream cake, I saw through the window glass that more than a hundred people were sitting on the ground eating dry food in the wind, covered in dust! Of course, I also saw the eyes rolled at me by my friends as soon as I got in the car, but I didn't pay attention. I thought to myself, it was their eyes and jealousy. They didn't enjoy it as much as I did. to special treatment. Angry? Deserve it! Who told you not to have a loud and moving singing voice? However, people are so weird. When Teacher Jingzi took my hand and walked out of the hotel, my mood changed. The trembling ecstasy that I had felt since I got into the car disappeared in an instant, like dew exposed to the sun. .

Look, how happy are the more than one hundred people who have sung for me! They were all jumping for joy, and their faces were flushed with excitement; they took off their schoolbags, and many of them took off their coats, chirping, chatting and laughing, and groups of them were happily walking towards the top of the Yunling Mountains. Gestures. What, they want to climb Xiayun Ridge? Oh my god, they are really going to climb that Xiayun Ridge that makes my neck sore! My heart is itching and my palms are warm and wet with sweat.

Step on the clouds on the top of the mountain as light as a swallow, and stand on the top of the mountain and overlook the surrounding scenery. How, how - ah, tsk, tsk, tsk. Teacher Sun probably guessed my mood. He ran over and greeted me: "Xu Xin, what are you still confused about? Come and set off with us!" "No," Teacher Feng took a step forward and inserted a wooden wedge between me and Teacher Sun. In the middle, "Teacher Jingzi is going to tutor Xu Xin on her vocals this afternoon, I just told her. Teacher Jingzi is an expert in cultivating child actors, so this opportunity is rare. She is going back to China tomorrow. "Teacher Sun didn't say anything, just looked at me silently, turned around and left. I couldn't tell how I felt in my heart, as if I had lost something. After a while, Teacher Jingzi and the translator came to give me a lecture. Teacher Feng was taking notes with great interest, and Teacher Jingzi was very serious. She pointed out that my pronunciation was still slightly flawed, such as my larynx was too strong and my breathing was not good...

My pronunciation was too strong. I don't know why I can't concentrate, but my eyes always slip over Teacher Jingzi's shoulders into the distance - Oh, Teacher Sun and his classmates have already climbed halfway up the mountain. They are getting farther and farther away, getting smaller, and becoming like a group of cloth. Doll: A larger rag doll leads a group of smaller rag dolls. They are far away, and even their shouts cannot be heard clearly... "When you sing high notes, your mouth should be in the shape of a smile, so that the sound can be heard. Through the nasal cavity, it goes straight to the head area..." The translation sounded so dry and tasteless today.

Ah, they scattered halfway up the mountain! The colorful clothes turned into bright colorful dots, really It's like someone knocked over a painter's palette, and all the colors splashed on the grassy and hairy mountains.

"Don't be too tired when practicing your voice every day, and don't shout loudly. This is very important for a teenager whose voice is changing..." Look, there are more than a hundred people holding hands! Ah, a fluttering ribbon, ah, a beautiful colorful necklace hanging in Xiayunling! "Teacher Feng!" I suddenly blurted out, "You, please let me climb Xiayun Mountains with my classmates..." However, I swallowed the end of my words before I could finish them. I saw Teacher Feng's cold and angry eyes, so I had to hold back my excitement and listen to Teacher Jingzi's boring class like a fool. They've reached the top of the mountain! They stood shoulder to shoulder on the top of the mountain. It looked like they had knitted a wool hat for the mountain with colorful threads. Teacher Jingzi’s class is finally over. I breathed a sigh of relief, and then begged Teacher Feng again: "Teacher Feng, please let me chase my classmates, please let me go!" "No, Teacher Jingzi has to attend tonight. We're going back to the city soon for a banquet, and the car can't wait for you. ""You just drive away, and I'll go back in the truck with my classmates, okay?" At the end of this sentence, my eyes froze. It was damp, and my nose felt sore.

"Okay then." Teacher Feng sighed. "Okay!" I was so happy that I trembled. I quickly turned around and bowed to Teacher Jingzi, thanked her, and ran away like a runaway horse. The wind whistled in my ears, and mountain flowers and wild grass rushed past my feet. I forgot about everything and just wanted to shout loudly: "Hey, Xiayunling, I'm coming! Haha!"

But I didn't shout. I remembered what Teacher Jingzi had just said to me. I couldn't shout into the wind. Throat, throat, you are my most precious treasure. Just when I thought about my unique voice, a thought popped into my mind: No, I can't chase Teacher Sun and the others straight away, because if I step on other people's footprints and go up, not only will I look very Not to mention me, and

may even attract ridicule, "Hey, why are you following us?" "Hey, why don't you come up in a car?" This As soon as the thought came to me, my mind turned away, turned, turned, I suddenly stopped my feet, slid to the left, and walked on another road. Xiayunling is a mountain with three slow slopes and one cliff. If you climb up from the slow slopes on the west, south and east sides, it will take at least more than an hour. Teacher Sun and the others climbed from the east. If I go around to the north slope of the mountain and climb up secretly, just like outsmarting Mount Huashan, it will only take half an hour. Suddenly a man stands up from the cliff and shouts: "Hey!" - Ha, here we are. Just wait and see the expressions of surprise, surprise, joy and admiration on their faces! Haha, Xu Xin is not an ordinary person, he is going to fly from the cliff to the top of the mountain with wings! This thought made my heart itch, and I didn’t even look at any scenery. I just stared at the small trail under my feet and walked forward. At first, the trail was gentle, lying flat in the embrace of the mountains. Gradually, gradually, it began to tilt. After a while, after turning two corners, it stood up steeply, like an earth-yellow ladder descending from the mountain. The top of the mountain reached right in front of my feet. "Go up!" I said to myself, grabbed the jujube tree above my head, lifted my body up, and climbed up the "ladder". This "ladder" was too difficult to climb. The road surface seemed to be sprinkled with a layer of talcum powder. Every time I stepped on it, I was sweating profusely within a few minutes of climbing.

I didn't lose heart, I gritted my teeth and climbed up step by step.

Suddenly, a large bluestone in front of my head blocked the way, so I had to stop and observe the path. When I looked up, back, and down a few times, I was stunned.

Unknowingly, the "ladder" led me to a desperate situation! The "cloud ladder" is broken, and from the big bluestone up, there is a stone wall that has been cut with an ax or a machete. It is as smooth as a city wall.

There is no place to grab or to step on; behind you, ah! The two dangerous peaks in the northwest of Xiayun Ridge quietly came up behind me at some point. Through the erratic clouds and mists, they stared at me eerily like giant-toothed monsters. Under my feet, there was a mountain hundreds of meters deep. In the big ditch, I felt like I was standing on the edge of a tall building of 30 or 40 houses. When I looked down, my legs felt weak and I felt dizzy. Two mountain eagles were hovering below me - so big, I was the first Once I understand what it means to be "dumbfounded".

What should I do? What should I do? I didn't dare to go up any more, and when I came down, my calves were shaking... The sun set behind the mountains in the west, and the surroundings suddenly became dark. This place is deserted, with no houses in the distance and no one nearby... There can't be wolves, right? After sunset, a cold wind blew in the mountains. The wind makes the weeds rustle, the wind makes the weeds sway; there are rustlings everywhere

The sky is getting darker, the distant mountains and near valleys are getting blurry, and there seems to be something hidden behind the grass and rocks. Countless ghosts... Ah, ah, who will save me, who will save me from danger! At this moment, a tiny voice came from the top of the mountain, as thin as a gossamer, intermittent, almost inaudible unless you listen carefully. "Qu——Qu——" Cricket? nightingale? No, no, no, it's the whistle. Yes, it's a whistle! Ah, this must be Teacher Sun blowing the whistle. Yes, he must be gathering the team. Oh my God, they are going down the mountain to go home. I, I will be thrown into this barren mountain and valley alone that no one knows. !

Hurry, hurry, sound is the only rope that can save me now, grab it quickly, otherwise, after a while, everything will be too late and everything will be over. My hands began to tremble, the corners of my mouth twitched, and a sharp sore nose made my eyes blurred. I grabbed the edge of the big bluestone and shouted desperately to the top of the mountain: "Teacher Sun! Same!" "Students!" As soon as I finished shouting, several unfamiliar voices shouted in the valley: "...Teacher! Students!" My echoes echoed in the dark valley. Each of them is weaker than the other, and each one is more miserable than the last. Like the moans of a patient, they float tremblingly into the distance until they are smashed to pieces...

"Classmates! Wait-wait-I- —!" I didn't care about anything and shouted with all my strength. "...We! Wait-wait-for-me!" "...Wait-wait-for-me-!"

This time, I was stunned by my own voice. What, is this my voice floating around? How much fear there was in that voice! How pitiful and miserable it is; it is so dry and pale that even the July sunshine loses its warmth when it hears it.

Ah, this is the first time in my life that I have heard such a creepy scream. This is the voice of a lost lamb, this is the voice of a stray goose, ah, me...

Suddenly, a sea-like voice appeared above my head: "Xu Xin! Where are you?" "Xu Xin! Don't be afraid, we are here to pull you!" "Xu——Xin——!"

I can't tell who is shouting or what is being said. Every sound is directed towards I caressed, and all the sounds were bringing me warmth; this chaotic sound was so loud and hot, and it suddenly drowned out my cold voice. Following the sound, dozens of familiar faces appeared on the peak above me. They were dyed pink and shining by the setting sun.

They gathered together like magnificent clouds. I don’t know how many people jumped on the big bluestone, I don’t know how many hands stretched out to pull me up, I don’t know who wiped my tears with a handkerchief, and I don’t know who pointed the kettle at my mouth... I am like a fish again My son returned to the warm spring water, and my classmates and I huddled together in the truck, feeling so at ease and so sweet. "Classmates," Teacher Sun said loudly shortly after the truck started to come back. Let's sing "Bird in the Forest" again, okay? ""good! "More than fifty voices responded in unison.

"Yes! "The truck behind also responded. "We still have Xu Xin singing as the lead singer. Please note that the volume of the accompaniment singers should be lighter when singing outdoors. Okay, get ready

——" "Teacher, no. , no no! "I hugged Teacher Sun's arm and said, "This time, let me and my classmates sing together! Teacher, now I am particularly afraid of hearing my own voice, teacher..." I couldn't continue, there was something hot and choking in my throat.

"Okay, let's sing together. Get ready - sing! "More than a hundred people sang loudly. After swallowing a few mouthfuls of salty and bitter tears, I secretly wiped away the tears hanging on my cheeks and sang along with everyone.

Although I sang harder than during the official recording, I couldn't hear my own voice at all at this time. My voice was completely integrated into the collective. I was included in everyone's singing, and everyone was included in my singing. I breathe the same breath with them,

*** feelings, this is happiness I have never tasted. My dearest friends and I sang sweetly, and the poetic lyrics flew together on the wings of beautiful notes, across the fields, over the mountains, and into the distance...