Are there any funny lines about having children at home?

1 vows of eternal love Liu Xing has 70 classic lines. [Upgrade 1.3 version] Everyone should add favorites!

1. The tail hair of the donkey is unclear.

It is not that the enemy is too cunning, but that we are too stupid.

It seems that we have encountered some situations.

4. What kind of domestic popsicles do you eat when you have Haagen-Dazs? !

Why am I so unlucky? ! !

Liu Mei: If the child knew, he wouldn't have given birth to you!

Liu Xing: Who told you to have me? Did you get my permission?

7. Who have I offended? !

8. Liu Xing scolded Xiaoxue: "Talking and feeding, singing and chattering."

9. "Who is Confucius' teacher? Liu Xing: "Confucius' teacher." ... oh! Confucius' teacher is a drill! "

Xia Donghai: "Tell the story of Dou E!" Liu Xing: "Oh! Dou E is the most unjust woman in Chinese history! "

10. Dad: What kind of father do you want you to have?

Liu Xing: Am I in charge of this matter?

Dad: I suddenly became your father. Are you used to it?

Liu Xing: Anyway, who was born to be my son! !

1 1. Liu Xing: I solemnly promise!

Xiaoyu: I seriously don't believe it!

12. Liu Xing: Xiaoyu, do you think we are good brothers?

Yu Xia: Of course! Meteor shower is about us!

13. Liu Xing said to Xia Xue: You can see how handsome your two brothers are when you see the gorilla!

14. xiaoxue: I'm looking for Xia Xue!

Liu Xing: What is your classmate's name?

15. Ka Koi Lam (excitedly): Are you Xia Xue's lovely brother?

Liu Xing (smirking): I am Xia Xue's lovely brother.

16. Liu Xing: I have studied under pressure for so many years and have never run away from home. Don't you think I am strong?

17. Liu Xing: The eagle fighting in the sky will not envy the praised chicken!

18. Yu Xia: Only the elder sister can set fire, but the younger brother can't!

Xia Donghai: Don't change idioms! Only state officials can set fires, and people are not allowed to light lamps!

Yu Xia: But our family only has my sister, and there are no government officials!

Liu Xing: What makes you say that about us! You are more important than anyone!

Yu Xia: Don't listen to your parents!

Liu Xing: You startled us both as soon as you came in!

Yu Xia: Make a boyfriend!

Liu Xing: She also brought her boyfriend home!

Yu Xia: Twice!

Xia Donghai: Can you leave a channel for us to talk?

Liu Xing: Compare with her! Xiaoyu sent a chicken feather to my little sister, nothing.

Yu Xia: Yes, what is Liu Xing's pleasure!

Liu Xing: Really! Xiaoyu! (Blows a kiss) What's the matter?

Yu Xia: Yes, what's Liu Xing's score?

Liu Xing: We are good children!

Xia Xue (screaming): I'm going to hit you two little villains! !

19. (midnight) Liu Xing: Mom, can you give me some money?

Mom: Why?

Liu Xing: (touching her hair) I want to dye this thing green and have a girlfriend.

Mom: Don't you dare-

Liu Xing: Why can Xiaoxue find a wild boy but I can't find a savage girlfriend? !

Mom: If you dare to find a savage girlfriend, you will find that you have a savage mother! ! !

20. Xia Donghai: What do you suggest?

Liu Xing: What else can I do?

Xia Donghai: What do you want to do?

Liu Xing: Let's begin!

Xia Donghai: What exactly are you going to do?

Liu Xing: What else can I do? Let's get started!

Xia Donghai: Why is it so difficult for me to speak some Chinese with you? ! !

2 1. Xiaoyu: Eat when you are hungry, eat when you are hungry, and eat when you are hungry.

Eat hungry, eat hungry, eat hungry.

Liu Xing: No, you missed a link.

Xiaoyu: Which link?

Liu Xing: Listen (picking up chopsticks and tapping the table rhythmically)

Eat when you are hungry, pull when you eat, and be hungry when you pull.

You are hungry after eating, and you have to eat when you are hungry.

22. Both Liu Xing and Xiaoxue are sleeping at the dinner table, when Liu Mei comes and pulls Liu Xing's arm.

Liu Mei: Look at your watch. What time is it now? I fell asleep.

Liu Xing: I didn't sleep well last night.

Liu Mei: Playing video games again?

Liu Xing: No.

Liu Mei: So it's played online.

Liu Xing: No. I was thinking about the exam.

Liu Mei: About the exam? Did you fail the exam again?

Liu Xing: I haven't taken the exam yet!

Liu Mei: That's thinking about how to cheat?

Liu Xing: Why do you always think of me like that? !

Liu Mei: Let me see the bright side. You must give me a chance!

23. Liu Xing said, "Dad, Xiaoxue's nickname in the class is Big Sister."

Dad: "What's the matter? It is normal for you to have a nickname. "

……

Liu Xing: "The problem is that there is another boy nicknamed' Big Brother' in her class."

Dad: "So according to you, everyone in your class calls you an orangutan. Is there another girl named baboon? "

24. Xiaoyu: If they don't get along, I'll eat a hundred ice creams and kill myself!

Liu Xing: If they don't get along, I'll play computer for a month. I'm exhausted!

25. Grandma: You have to suffer to be a master.

Yu Xia: If you suffer, can you ride on others' heads?

Yu Xia: This is because the earth has no gravity.

27. Mom: Xiaoxue's father is amazing! Xiaoxue's brother Xiaoyu's face was swollen by him!

Kyle: …

28. Liu Xing: Our history teacher said that Chairman Mao famously said that if you want to know the taste of braised prawns, you must taste them yourself.

Xia Xue: Chairman Mao is talking about pears.

29. Dad didn't come home on time at night on business. Mom asked Xiaoyu to call his cell phone. After the phone call, ..

Mom: Who answered the phone?

Xiaoyu: Female. (Everyone is nervous) "Sorry, the number you dialed can't be connected for the time being ..."

30. Caller: Who are you?

Liu Xing's mother: Who am I? My mother gave birth to me! Who do you think I am? Damn it! .....

3 1. (After Liu Xing watched the horror film)

Rinrin ~ ~ Liu Mei: Liu Xing, pick up the phone!

Liu Xing (holding the phone forward): Mom, that's a deadly bell!

32. Because Yu Xia sings badly and dreams at night, others say he is a duck:

Yu Xia: Ah! I am not a duck! I am not a duck! I am not a duck! I am not a duck! I am not a duck! I am not a duck!

Liu Mei: Yes ~ You are not a duck, but Liu Xing is a duck.

Liu Xing: Mom ~ ~! ~ ~ & gt_ & lt~~

Liu Mei: What's wrong with sacrificing for my brother?

33. White-toothed Xiaoyu said: Stars.

Xiao Yu said; I didn't. It's Liu Xing.

White teeth said: I said, this child has not seen him shrink for five years!

34. Xia Donghai: Then please tell the story of Dou E's injustice.

Liu Xing: Who is Dou E? I don't know her.

Xia Donghai: Don't you always call you more wronged than Dou E?

Liu Xing: Oh, Dou E is the most wronged woman in history.

Xia Donghai, Xia Xue, Yu Xia and Liu Mei are all dizzy.

Liu Xing: Right?

35. Xiaoyu: Mom, blossoming doesn't play with me. I am lovelorn.

36. Xiaoyu: Are there other sources of income for our lucky money?

Liu Xing: Yes!

Snow/Rain: What's this?

Liu Xing: I sold you!

37. Grandpa: Hey, hey, this is Donghai Jia, not Donghai Restaurant, and I'm not interested in ordering.

Xiaoxue: I want to say why not buy yellow croaker. After hearing what Grandpa said, I don't want to say anything.

Grandpa: You said the sea didn't want to say anything. ...

38. Xia: When you bring Xiaoxue here, you two will get along with each other day and night. Are you ready?

May: I'm not ready yet. I'm ready to fight! !

Rain: Why don't I bite Liu Xing when bitten by mosquitoes? Isn't this my home?

May: Because your blood is fragrant and Liu Xing's blood is smelly. ...

40. mom; No matter what you do, first of all, you have to love this industry.

Liu Xing; If I want to be a soldier, I must love fighting?

4 1. Xia Xue: I am a woman, and women are preferred.

Yu Xia: I am very young. Being small is the most important thing.

Liu Xing: I am thin, and thinness is the first choice.

42. Liu Xing; This book is very good-so thick!

43. Look at him, look at you and look at Lao Li next door.

44. Liu Xing: Five people in three shifts? Can you share it? How do you learn math? Did the PE teacher teach you that?

46. daffodils don't bloom, you play dumb!

47. Eat fried noodles instead of defecation.

48. Liu Mei: If there is nothing worth pursuing, it is either rape or theft. Come on, what's the point?

Liu Xing: I ... I ... I ... I ... I ... I didn't do anything?

49. Liu Mei: Liu Xing, Xiaoyu and Xiao Xue have dinner!

Xia Donghai: Mei Mei. ......

Liu Xing: Mom! Not me!

Xiaoyu: Is there anything delicious?

50. Xia Xue: Hum, shallow!

Liu Xing: Hum, vulgar!

Yu Xia: Hum, childish!

5 1. Dad: I have an explosive announcement!

Xiaoyu (eating all the time): I want to be fat so as not to be blown up!

52. Liu Xing: On the darkest night in a month. ...

Xia Donghai: Sorry, Liu Xing, the mice were killed during the day.

Liu Xing: Oh, oh, daytime, daytime. On a dark day of the month. The mouse was shut up at home alone, thinking, I wish I could go out to play. Even playing video games for half an hour will do.

Xia Xue: I think you are talking about yourself.

Liu Xing: What do you know? This is called empathy.

Liu Xing: So, it took out the key it secretly matched ... Suddenly, it held out a black hand!

Yu Xia: No, it's a black cat's white paw.

Liu Xing: White claws, white claws. Suddenly, a black cat's white paws stretched out, ending its young life. So, the murderer is ... (Liu Xing points to the black cat) The murderer is it-the black cat with white claws.

Xia Donghai: Liu Xing, take out the secret key.

Liu Xing was surprised and said angrily, Dad ~ ~ ~

Xia Donghai: Good boy, bring it here.

Liu Xing reluctantly gave the key to Xia Donghai.

53. Rat King: "As soon as I saw this contact, Mr. Liu Xing, I knew that I had no idea about this matter, no hair on my mouth and no job."

Liu Xing: "Hey, Grandma, she hit me!" " "

Grandma: "Who told you to do things effortlessly?"

May: "Come on, what should you learn from them? What don't you learn from them? "

Star: "They are sexy and their clothes are naked."

Liu Mei: "OK, OK, OK."

Star: "We have said what we should learn, so what should we not learn?"

55. Liu Mei: What's your problem recently?

Liu Xing: What kind?

Liu Mei: Economically.

Liu Xing: Is it a planned economy or a market economy?

56. Liu Mei: "Liu Xing, open the door. Why don't you get up in the middle of the night and lock the door? "

Liu Xing: "Change underwear!"

Liu Mei: "Are you changing underwear or drawing underwear?"

Liu Xing: "Oh, I'm drawing underwear. Tell me, how difficult it is to draw these underpants! " "

57. Tell all the mothers that the plan has been cancelled.

58. It is not a crime for a man to cry and suffer. It is not a crime for a man to wash dishes. He doesn't feel tired.

59. Star: Don't go, devil, eat my fireball knife.

Mom (Gao): Dear husband, dear children, at this moment of bright lights, our happy and warm dinner can begin.

Dad: Yes, you see, the bright moonlight illuminates us. Listen, the sweet frog plays music for us.

Xue: Wow, I'm so happy. Our whole family is sitting here healthy and happy. Good teeth, good appetite and good mood.

Rain: Be happy!

Star (coldly): Yes, I don't have a toothache. Of course I'm happy. ...

60. Rain: Mom said that I must make way for my brother.

This means eating, not peeing.

Rain: Same thing, brother has to make way for younger brother.

Star: Brother, brother, brother in front, brother in the back, understand?

6 1. Mom: Does this gorilla have good ears?

Liu Xing: I have good ears.

Mom: Go! Didn't talk to you

Liu Xing: Didn't you mean me?

Mom: I'm talking about orangutans.

Liu Xing: Hey, I have a bad temper.

62. Liu Xing looked at the paper and said, "The salted fish turned over." Lin Ning: Do you think of salted fish at such an exciting time? Liu Xing: Big Crab

63. Who dares to bully my sister without asking her brother Liu Xing if he will agree or not after eating Xiong Xin leopard gall and drinking tiger bone soup?

This star is much more beautiful than the one I saw when I fell out.

65. The reason why I don't study well is that I spend all my mind on how to deal with you.

66. The reason why I don't study well is that I spend all my mind on how to deal with you.

Rain (looking at his ass with a mirror): I have a flying saucer on my ass. Am I an alien?

G: Huh? Looking at your ass in the mirror Do you want to be famous?

Rain: What's on it?

Star: Two asses.

Rain: Look again!

Star: Still two assholes!

Rain: Look to the left!

Star: Little Red Book!

Rain: Like what?

Star: Tea eggs?

Rain: Look again!

G: hamburgers?

68. Liu Xing said to Xiaoyu: You are so annoying. Did your head teacher arrange for the ugliest girl in your class to sit with you?

69. Liu Xing: Liu Xing No.2, look at this name, just like hybrid rice.

70. Liu Xing/Xiao Yu (singing crazily): My enthusiasm, O'''''' I miss a fire! Burning the whole desert, the sun will avoid me when it sees me (they are dancing, singing and dancing).

Suddenly my parents rushed into the room and shouted: What's wrong, what's wrong!

Liu Xing said excitedly, Mom and Dad, we should do what we like! We haven't finished talking.

Liu Mei chimed in, stop! You'd better restrain yourself and go to bed at once. Be careful, I'll take care of you, hum, hum, hum, hum, hum, hum, hum, hum, hum, hum, hum, hum.

Xia Donghai said, Mei Mei, don't worry. Listen to Liu Xing and ask him what he really wants. Liu xing went on to finish!

Liu Xing smiled shyly, covered her face with her hand, and then said softly, Me! Nothing, it's just, I just want to meet my savage girlfriend, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! ! ! (Say that finish and embarrassed smile)

Liu Mei eyes a stare: Well, what are you talking about? How dare you have a girlfriend? Don't fool around with me here! Go to sleep.

Liu Xing wronged: Why? Why can a light snow bring a wild child home, and I can't even see my savage actress? Unfair ```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Liu Mei: Well, Liu Xing, if you dare to meet your savage girlfriend, you will soon know that you also have a savage and fierce mother ~! (At this moment, Liu Mei wants to tidy up Liu Xing, but Xia Donghai catches Liu Mei. )

Xia Donghai said; Come on, come on. Liu xing, open the door quickly ~

Liu Mei struggled in Xia Donghai's arms and said, let me go and let me beat this smelly boy ~

Liu xing quickly opened the door and closed it immediately!

Author: Tao Tao, 2007-3-23 2 1: 44 reply to this statement.