What is the reason to live and succeed?

Life without accidents is not normal. Only by constant accidents can our life be full of vitality and turmoil.

The name of the first game is My Five Kinds.

Modern life is so complicated,

People need to make decisions about what happens to them at any time.

What to eat in the morning, Yonghe Soymilk or McDonald's Hamburg? Speaking of career development, is it job-hopping or going abroad for further study? Slow, such as buying a house, when, where, what price, what apartment? For example, if someone falls into the water and is flooded, do you want to stand up and risk your life? Long-term need to consider what kind of partner to find for life? What color should I buy in a short time to catch up with the fashion this summer? Relax, such as traveling or reading on Sunday? Harsh as finding cancer, whether it is surgery or conservative treatment with traditional Chinese medicine. ...

Many possibilities force us to make a decision among many choices, which has almost become an eternal dilemma for modern people. Freedom of choice is a kind of social progress, but when the choice really comes, we often make the wrong decision and get out of the trap. Today's life is determined by a choice you made a few years ago, and your choice today will determine your life in a few years. Bill? Gates wouldn't be the richest man in the world if he hadn't dropped out of school decisively and delayed his development opportunities.

A choice determines a road. A road leads to one side of the land. One side of the land, start living. A life forms a destiny.

Decision-making mistakes are the biggest mistakes. Everyone wants to avoid detours as little as possible. It is everyone's expectation to make the decision perfect and have fewer regrets.

So, what is the premise of making the right decision?

That's-

What exactly do you want?

When the president of a big company interviewed a job seeker, the first question he asked was "What do you want?" To his great surprise, 70% of job seekers couldn't answer at all.

Things that sound incredible actually happen every day. Nowadays, in order to get a job, many people carefully design their autobiography, print it on exquisite paper, consult public relations experts and train their expression skills. Some girls want to take shortcuts, regardless of the pain, spend huge sums of money on plastic surgery, and even attach photos of themselves swimming. On the day of the interview, many people put on brand-name suits, hesitated what kind of ties to wear, and practiced their manners repeatedly in front of the mirror ... After spending a lot of energy and time, they were stunned and defeated in front of this basic question. Because they don't know what they want.

In fact, many people have gone through life without asking what they want. Among the few people who have asked themselves this question, many people have not given a clear answer. Of the few people who get the answer, only a few can describe it clearly in words.

If you are not sure where you are going, then this is where you will be buried.

In order to avoid this situation, the first game we played was aimed at this problem. When you know what you really want, you can make a decision.

I have experienced such a thing.

Every year at the end of February, someone will come to ask for an appointment and say, please spend the March 8 th Festival with the ladies in our unit. There are so many invitations that I can't do anything at once. I started in the order of "first come, first served". Whoever calls first agrees. Later, when I contacted, I said, I'm sorry, XX unit was earlier than you. As a result, the problem of that year was solved. The next year, people who didn't make an appointment last time called early, and the Spring Festival began to be restless. So I changed my strategy and sent a live message to all the invitations, saying, I'll think about it before making a decision.

That year, Tsinghua University contacted me early, hoping that I could go to school on March 8th and spend the holidays with my classmates. Facing the invitation of female college students, my heart is full of cool feeling. I like being with them, feeling youthful vitality and challenging passion. When things were basically settled, I suddenly received a phone call, and the women's prison invited me to spend the holiday with 300 female prisoners.

I paused, and subconsciously said, I have never talked to 300 bad women.

The other side politely retorted, Mr. Bi, they are not bad women, just female prisoners who are serving their sentences.

I know I made a mistake and I said such a very childish thing. People can't simply be divided into good and bad camps. I quickly said, please forgive me. However, I have no experience in talking to prisoners. The other person smiled gently and said, just like you talk in other places, just talk about life and ideals.

I put down the phone and got into a dilemma. On the one hand, there are young female college students as beautiful as flowers and pure as jade, and on the other hand, there are female prisoners behind bars in high walls. Being with the former is relaxing, lively and interesting; Being with the latter is heavy, amazing, nervous and restrained ... If you just start from your personal feelings, of course you choose to be with female college students. But I think of my responsibility (I used to be a doctor and I was very serious about my sense of responsibility), and I can't refuse this sincere invitation. I decided to go to the women's prison.

After the decision, I didn't relax, but I was more nervous. I can't think of anything to say to them. All that should be said has been told to them; They may have thought about everything for a long time. If nothing else, I am puzzled by what to call at the beginning of the speech. The usual name-"comrade", of course not. It is inappropriate to call them "ladies" in prison. Usually, women say "sister" intimately on holidays, but I can't open my mouth. I don't want to be called prisoner sisters. As for the "friend" that people often say, I can't accept it either. They are not my friends. After two days of hard thinking, I finally found a name and called them "female compatriots". I think this title is basically impeccable. Even if they commit a felony, they are still women and China people. They are my compatriots of the same sex who are punished by the laws of China.

What to say next after the topic is determined. After careful consideration, I decided to let the prisoners play a game in the prison. This is a risky decision, and I can't imagine what will happen. I haven't been to prison, and I don't know the rules there.

It snowed that morning. On the way to the prison, watching the white catkins flying all over the sky, I thought, if I can't play this game today, I have to prepare a spare speech. But my brain has turned into a pumpkin, and I can't think of anything but this game.

We arrived at the prison, and in a big place, female prisoners were dressed in gray prison uniforms, sitting on small benches, and lined up neatly. From a distance, it looks like a dark square handkerchief, surrounded by a dark blue broadband-managers in purple-blue uniforms surround every square.

I whispered to the leader of the reform-through-labour system sitting next to me, why is the rostrum so far away from the people below?

The leader replied, have you forgotten what this place is? This is not an ordinary school auditorium, this is a prison! What would you say if a prisoner jumped on you while you were talking, grabbed you by the neck and took you hostage? The distance is far, so we have time for camera processing.

A layer of goose bumps rolled over, and I deeply realized that this was not college girls' day. I asked again, why do prison guards sit still? The leader simply answered, riot prison. I was shocked to hear the word "violent prison" for the first time. I lost my voice. How come? ! You know, they are women!

The leader said, what's wrong with women? Among the 300 women you face, there are bandits and thieves, human trafficking, drug manufacturing and trafficking, murder and arson ... We have never called a meeting of 300 female prisoners. This time, we set a precedent for listening to speeches. Strict precautions must be taken to ensure safety.

I asked in a low voice, can I play games?

I dare say that even if a bullet hits his chest at the moment, he will not be more nervous than hearing this sentence. He said, what? ! Games? ! Where can I play games here? ! Prisoners must never leave their places!

I said, this game is not about losing your handkerchief, so you can stay where you are. The leader looked at me suspiciously and said, that can't make them stand up. I replied, I don't have to stand up. But is there a pen and paper?

The leader said, no, they can't use paper and pens.

When I finally walked to the podium, I said, my female compatriots, I would like to say happy holidays to you first! Today, it is snowing heavily outside the window. Snow can hide many things, but the truth is hidden under the snow. Let's play a game and see what is hidden in our hearts ... because we don't have paper and pens, please close your eyes and imagine a piece of white paper, or treat the snow-covered earth as a piece of paper. ...

On that day, when I announced the end of the game, there was a long silence in the whole prison hall. I said, the result of this game, you can not tell anyone, you can also tell anyone. It is your freedom to say or not to say. What I expect is that you can remember the result of this game, which may be helpful to your future life.

The audience is still dead silent, so quiet that you can hear the different sounds of snowflakes falling on branches and grass outside the window.

I'll tell you the ending of this experience later. I have also played this game on different occasions, facing all kinds of people. Their answers are different, but basically they all mean something. The president of a famous enterprise exchanged views with me after speaking. He said, thank you very much. This game may change the rest of my life.

I said, is it really so amazing? I don't dare to ask for it. I just hope it can give you some help.

The president said that some very important changes were not the result of rhetoric. In a word, a short story, sometimes with unexpected magic, determines our future. To some extent, this game also has such magic.

As he spoke, he carefully folded the A4 paper with his game answers in half, then tore it, folded it in half and tore it again. Under my watch, he tore the paper repeatedly until it broke into a pile of confetti the size of Thai fragrant rice. After that, he wrapped the bread crumbs with another complete A4 paper and put them in his briefcase.

I was a little surprised and said, do you want to keep them for a long time?

He smiled and said, no, I want to find a sink to wash them completely.

I said, do you need to keep your game results so strictly confidential?

He said, don't keep secrets from you and others, keep secrets from my wife.

Well, I told a short story about this game for a long time. Some people may be anxious. Tell us what your game is like, please tell us quickly.

Now, let's enter the preparation stage of this game.

According to the above, it seems that this game can be played in any situation, but for better effect and accuracy, I suggest that it is best to face the desk alone in the dead of night or at dawn.

I hope you don't drink or do it after noisy social intercourse. You can drink tea or coffee, but not too strong. It's best to avoid all close people and face your heart alone. It's not that we don't trust them, but that some things in the world can only be independent.

First, take out a blank sheet of paper, which is flawless, free of checks, creases, and free of any traces left by the last page with a pen. It is as flat as the Sahara desert. Prepare a black pen, but I can't find one. Blue will do. Be careful, don't use red, too bright colors, it's easy to be shocking.

You'd better relax while playing games. Relaxation calms people's psychological energy, isolates body and mind from the outside world, scrubs the brain into a blank with the eraser of thinking, and waits for the deep belief to float.

When you are ready, write down the "five kinds of XXX" one by one at the top of the white paper. This XXX is your name.

This step must not be omitted, because when using credit cards or receiving important information, we usually have little chance to concentrate on writing down our names except signing. At this moment, please feel the touch of embracing your heart. This name represents none other than you. It represents your body, your memory, your hobbies and your hopes. In short, it means everything to you. At this moment, everything in the world is temporarily gone, only your name is with your heart. When we came to this world alone, you only had yourself. One day you died, and you floated away alone. No matter how many people around welcome our birth and send us away, we are essentially lonely.

Your name is inseparable from you, including your voice, appearance, behavior and speech, covering your whole territory, and also involving your history, indicating your future.

Ok, now, please write down the five most important things in your life quickly on white paper with a black pen.

These five things can be physical objects, such as food, water or money; It can also be people and animals, such as parents,

Wife, child, husband or dog. It can be a spiritual pursuit, such as religion or ideal; It can also be hobbies and habits, such as traveling, music or vegetarianism. Can be abstract things, such as the motherland or philosophy; It can also be a specific item, such as a porcelain bottle or a set of stamps. In short, you can imagine freely, just write down the five most precious things in your heart.

Don't think, think. When you think of something, start writing it down. The idea that comes out first must have a profound reason for existence, so just record it truthfully. In no particular order, in no particular order, the strokes are neither ABCD nor surname.

At this moment, in front of you, it is no longer a blank sheet of paper with your own handwriting on it. Please keep an eye on them and hold your breath for a minute. Remember every setback of those strokes and the ripples they caused in your heart. This small team is the love of your life. They are hidden in your heart, which is your biggest secret. Maybe before today, you haven't seriously thought about and cherished them, but from this moment on, you know what the reason of your life is.

At this point, the game is half finished. Now, we will be the other half. If there are warm memories and surprises in the first half, please forgive me, but the second half is grim and bleak, please make adequate preparations.

Shit! An accident happened in your life. What is it? I can't be more detailed or clear. There are many accidents lurking on the tortuous road of life, like ferocious robbers, asking you to leave "tolls" You have to pay the price and sacrifice, you can be sad and angry, and most importantly, you have to move on. Perhaps, it can be said that life without accidents is abnormal. Only by constant accidents can our life be full of vitality and turmoil. If all the accidents disappear, it must be the end of life.

What are we going to do? The five most precious things in life can't be saved. You must give it up. Please pick up your pen and erase one of the five things.

Note that instead of putting an "X" next to that thing, it still retains its basic form, that is, you can see it clearly through sparse occlusion. Losing is by no means so kind. You should use black ink, slowly but without mercy, or dig it out with a knife. Until it becomes an ink spot or a black hole on a white paper, it can't be recognized any more. If you erase the "flowers", there will be no spring and fragrance in your life, and you will bid farewell to the burning peony and beautiful roses forever, and even the daisies and dandelions in the field will not be seen. You are not qualified to enter the garden again, not even to have a look. You tear flowers one after another with your own hands and watch them melt in the soil. In this process, please carefully observe the pain caused by the lost feeling.

You left four precious things and a black hole on your paper. At this moment, great changes have taken place in life, which is more intense and urgent. You can't keep your four things, you must give up one more.

Please think twice before you act.

I guess, if you were a little careless when I asked you to give up for the first time, you should take serious action this time. Pick and choose, all relatives. You will say that it has been cut to an incompressible level, and you have to subtract the same thing. Isn't that forced?

Yes, it's beyond my ability. This is how the game is played, and it is also a kind of cruelty of fate. No matter how many complaints and reluctance you have, please follow the rules of the game and hack one of the four things with your pen. Again, it's not an understatement, but it's completely removed from your field of vision without hesitation. If you erase the "money", you will become a poor man from now on, and you will completely "bye bye" to the luxurious days of feasting, luxurious food, famous BMW cars and graceful manners in the future. Although you won't die of poverty and hunger, you will never join the ranks of the rich. If you can't bear this decision, then leave the "money" and go to the "killing field", don't force it. If you are a woman, if you give up your "work", don't fantasize about walking gracefully through the nine-to-five office in an elegant suit, but be prepared to get used to wearing pajamas and aprons, cooking and cleaning at home, teaching each other and watching the sunset bored.

At this point in the game, someone has guessed the following gameplay, showing the appearance of touching the card. I admit that you are smart. This is not a complicated game. For your benefit, I hope you can pay more attention to the paper on which you wrote, rather than the game. The most important part of the game is about to begin. The main thing is not only the rules, but also your perception and understanding of your own mind in this process.

On the white paper, there are three options and two invisible black spots or black holes. Only you know what is buried in a black spot or a black hole.

In the course of life, you have encountered sinister challenges. This time, you have to give up something precious again.

When the game advances to this point, it often encounters stubborn resistance. Someone said angrily, what stupid game? ! Stop playing! Stop playing! If you keep giving up, what's the point of life! No, I won't give up! Never! I want the rest, not a penny less! Just like old Grandet holding his last gold coin, I will never let go!

Some people even call you cruel. How can you let people keep choosing to give up like this? You have no right!

I always say to myself and everyone, please stick to it. This is the core value of the game-you have to learn to give up. Indeed, I don't have this right, but life has this right. Giving up voluntarily, like the ebbing sea water, leaves something abrupt in the process of turbulent return to calm, which is the most important reef in your life.

Some people may complain that if I had known how to play this game, I would have written something irrelevant from the beginning, and it would not be so heartbreaking to give up now.

No matter what you say, as long as you stick to it, victory is not far away. You have approached the naked truth step by step, and the most critical part is about to be born. Fundamental changes have taken place on the paper-three things have been crossed out and two things have been kept. Many things are beautiful now. The three black spots, like black stone tablets, bury your loved ones. Please listen, it's not over yet, we have to continue. ...

If you are in class, or at the meeting place, at this time, there are usually people whispering and swearing at the promoters of the game. "What do you want? I gave up so many beloved things under your pressure. Don't push your luck. Are you finished? Don't be so vicious, I won't play this annoying game! "

I understand your disgust, and I understand that your irritability and potential fear are not aimed at the game, but at fate. Sorry, the original intention of the game is not to offend you. I hope you stick to your teeth and let's play the game to the end. I don't force you, but life itself will force you. Cruel oppression does not come from a blank sheet of paper, but from an unpredictable fate. Danger is everywhere, and opportunities are fleeting. Of course, if you really can't play anymore, you can interrupt and leave.

Persistence is beneficial. After all, it's just a game. No matter how sad your choice is, it is not a bloody reality. The fierce conquest of fate itself is a hundred times richer than the most imaginative game.

Let's stick to it. Yes, your life has slipped to an unprecedented low, and you must make the most difficult and decisive choice in your life. You can only keep one thing and give up everything else.

When the game is going on here, it is often as quiet as a flood. In the meeting place with dozens or hundreds of people, you can hear the sound of silver needles landing. Everyone is immersed in suffering, and the remaining two, the best of the best, are the love in your heart. No matter what you give up, it is an unforgettable pain. A few times, I heard a soft sob on the court. Someone looked at me angrily and demanded to break this inhuman rule. Aren't you sad? I think when I made the game this far, I was so overwhelmed that I wanted to throw away the pen and paper and run away.

Hold on. I told myself this, and encouraged all my friends who have played this game and come to this moment step by step. You can cry for all the treasures you have lost. You can also hesitate, for the sake of feelings you can't give up. You can also go back on your word, so you will continue to suffer from indecision. Of course, you can also "do nothing" and not choose, and the remaining three are neck and neck. What can you do?

Yes, you can escape from this game, but you can't escape the beating of fate.

It was a close call. Where are you hiding? At this point, the game is basically clear. There is only one thing left on your paper, which is your most precious thing. You erased four things, and they are also your precious things. The order in which it is erased is the primary and secondary steps in your mind, a bit like the podium in the Olympic Games. The champion is gold, the runner-up is silver and the third runner-up is bronze.

Remember this order well. If you are at a loss in life, you might as well print this paper invisibly with the printer in your head. Perhaps, a miracle will happen and your answer will be born smoothly.

Some people may ask, which thing is right to stay? Is there a final correct answer to the arrangement order? In a sense, psychological warfare is a game with no answer. You made your permutation and combination according to your thinking logic and the choice of values. As long as it doesn't harm people, there is no right or wrong, only the difference between truth and hypocrisy, clarity and confusion, harmony and complexity.

I read many people's answers, and while thanking them for their trust in me, I was also surprised at the high consistency of those results. Most of what everyone writes is "family, friendship, love, health and happiness". In the process of deleting and painting, the order is different, leaving the last one with all five things on it.

Of course there are exceptions.

If you end up with "money", then you don't have to sigh for love, friendship and affection, because you didn't save them for the last time, so you can't enjoy the moist warmth and meaningful fragrance they give you back. How can you expect what you have long abandoned to accompany you when you are embarrassed? By your side, there are always fair-weather friends who forget profit and righteousness. When they fall, please don't complain about the tricks of fate. When money gives you various conveniences, it is honey that attracts flies. If the person you love leaves you when you need it most, please don't be angry with the fickle feelings in this world. When you regard money as your highest ambition, the people you deal with also follow the law of reciprocity. If you have countless guests and friends around you when you are thriving, please don't get carried away, because they may be aiming at the gold bars in your pocket, not you. If the money is gone, it is reasonable for them to disperse.

Fortunately, it is also surprising that, in this game, among countless pieces of white paper with handwriting, none of them has reserved "money" for the last item, and even the proportion of the last three items is unexpectedly small. I'm confused. There are too many selfish desires in reality, and I will destroy everything for money. When you really feel refreshed and seriously think about what is the most important thing in life, almost everyone throws away their money.

Life is like this. It will play tricks on people. The opposite can be seen everywhere. Our ultimate goal is not the most money, but the greatest happiness.

Happiness is related to money, but it is by no means out of proportion.

How to let happiness overflow your heart is an art.

All decisions have to be made. There is pain when there is trade-off. There is no perfect solution. All decisions involve giving up. You can't take advantage of everything. When you know what is the most important thing in life and the order of important things, the rest is to follow the picture.

Some people will say, will my important things change?

There is nothing absolutely unchanged in the world. From this perspective, "my five things" will change. But for an adult, your worldview is basically stereotyped, and you are already a stable system. It is hard to imagine that the solar system will be in chaos, and Pluto is standing next to Mars. Do not believe, look at the decisions you have made, there are rules to be found, which are determined by intuition, expectations and values. The game is like a little scout, helping you discover your own value. Now, it sends the report.

Some people say I already know five things about me. Can you tell me what are the five things of others?

There was an old professor of mathematics, and what he left behind was actually an animal. What animal is it? If it is a panda or a peacock, it may be understandable, but he wrote "pig"! I was very surprised. Pigs, dirty, stupid and lazy in the eyes of ordinary people, have actually become the love of this highly educated intellectual. What kind of logic and story is there?

Facing everyone's surprise, the old professor explained that I have never played games. You know, for a rigorous scientist, games are the activities of kindergarten children. This game reminds me of my painful past. During the Cultural Revolution, I was labeled as "reactionary bourgeois academic authority". He was criticized during the day, put in a bullpen at night and tortured. Later, he was sent to work in the frontier and assigned me to put dozens of pigs on the mountain. The rebel said viciously to me, you lost a pig, or the pig ran away, the pig lost weight, the pig was sick, and the pig died, so you could make a living. My wife divorced me in order not to be implicated, and my children also drew a clear line with me and refused to recognize me as a father. Every day, I am alone with a group of pigs on the hillside. From early morning to dusk, I counted the number of pigs countless times and touched their fur to see if they would get lost or get sick. During the day, I dare to swallow cold and rough dry food only when the pigs are full; At night, I can only close my eyes if the pig snores. Slowly, I have a deep affection for pigs. In this stormy world, only they don't discriminate against me, beat me, scold me or insult me. They are so kind and honest that they never cheat me, expose me and leave me. From then on, in my heart, pigs are more important than wives and children. This pig is even more important than my career and ideal. Without that pig, my life is over. What career and ideal can you talk about? If you have a pig, you have everything, so I want to keep this pig. Pigs are more trustworthy than people. They don't beat, smash, rob, extort confessions, betray or conspire. What do you think I will leave if I don't leave pigs in the end? !

We don't know what to say in the face of the gray-haired and dazzling math professor. Yes, pigs are no longer dumb animals here, but mean conscience and safety, representing friendship and trust. In this kind of thing, the world is frozen, and the professor's desire for justice and warmth is also highlighted.

There is also a very successful female entrepreneur. She put the written paper in front of me, then put her right index finger on her lips and said, don't be surprised.

She told me that the first one to give up was her husband, and the last one was her son. She said, I want to ask you, in this game, do men give up their wives and children soon?

I said, there are such people. But some men save their wives and children for last.

The female entrepreneur said, I have an old question that men and women in love often argue about, that is, if both your wife and parents fall into the water, who will you save first? I know that many lovers break up because of this dilemma. Can your game solve this problem?

I said, maybe. Because, if a man leaves his parents last, then you can judge that the expectations and will of his parents will greatly affect his choice direction. It can't be said that this is right or wrong, but his girlfriend should fully estimate this, including knowing his parents' character and character when necessary. On the wedding night, not only the newlyweds, but also the invisible in-laws will lie on the wedding bed. If you love such a husband, please be prepared. When you disagree, you may need more compromises and concessions. If you don't accept this compromise, you should consider your decision more carefully.

The female entrepreneur listened and said, don't worry about others, just say myself. I gave up my husband early because he didn't love me at all.

I said it's not wrong to give up for someone who doesn't love you.

Female entrepreneurs also said, is it silly to leave children until the end?

I said, I am also a mother, and I respect this choice.

The female entrepreneur said, but I still don't understand, even if this order is arranged, what does it have to do with my actual life?

I said, let me try to interpret it. Not necessarily right. Please forgive me if I am wrong. Husband still occupies a very important position in your life, one of the five things. I guess you still maintain your marriage, although there is no love. If there is a bigger conflict between your husband and the things you painted later, you should give him up first and seriously consider divorce. Since you put your child in the most important position, you will put his interests first when making all choices.

Before I finished my words, the female entrepreneur shouted loudly. I know what I want to do! Recently, the company and I discussed going abroad for a long business trip, and the treatment was very generous. I can't decide whether to go or not. The child is about to take the senior high school entrance examination and needs the help of his parents urgently. I want to go abroad to earn more money and save more money for my child, which will help his future. As soon as I played this game, I knew that children were the most important thing to me. He is at a critical juncture, and I can't sneak away for various reasons. For children, money is not the most important thing, and mother's support and encouragement are more than money. Leave him the gold.