What is the reason for the other party's infidelity? What is the sign of the breakup of military love in different places?

Vanity is human nature, and so is emotion. Many times, the other person cheated not because you are not good enough, but because the person he cheated on reached his use value. The lack of foreign love depends on the realization of the sense of need. If you can't give them what they need right away, mentally, his heart will shake. The injury caused by cheating is traumatic. If you still love each other, if you want to keep each other, you need to solve the scar in your heart. Anger, hatred and sadness can't keep you feeling this way, only reason can. Therefore, when dealing with a boyfriend who is cheating in other places, we must choose the right opportunity to reverse our feelings. How long is the peak of long-distance love? In fact, it is easy to detect the signs of military love breaking up in different places, but your own subconscious mind does not accept this statement. It is better to bid farewell to long-distance love with dignity, change yourself and save it.

First, the psychological state of foreign boyfriends cheating

First, you are not good enough; Second, you are good enough.

As far as separation is concerned, the first situation: after falling in love with him, you really lost yourself and didn't make progress. You are addicted to love all the time, all your thoughts are on him, and you have completely lost your daily life.

But he is constantly developing and perfecting himself, and then you don't deserve him. When you meet a stronger woman, he looks down on you even more, so he cheated. Let's not talk about social moral standards, let's talk about broad human nature: who knows that the times make heroes, and who doesn't want to have a stronger and more suitable lover?

In this case, the only thing you have to do is to fight for your breath, grind your teeth to improve yourself and prove that you are no worse than a third party. You can guarantee what she can, and you are even better than her! But this is the result of your progress. There is no need to prove it deliberately! You should always remember: you improve your driving force not to better keep him or prove that you are better than the third party, but to better make yourself have a stronger future, but to prove it to yourself!

The second situation: you are good enough, and your sense of self-worth is almost or even much higher than that of a third party, but your boyfriend is going to cheat.

Everyone will outline their ideal lover, but you may not meet 100% ideal person. How long is the peak of long-distance love? In fact, it is easy to detect the signs of military love breaking up in different places, but your own subconscious mind does not accept this statement.

Everyone is unlikely to wait for that person to happen all the time, so everyone will first be with someone who feels "ok". Although it is not what they like, it is not offensive. However, after that, the "best" person who meets all the standards of an idealized lover happened. At this time, everyone generally just wants to be with the "best" people!

Do you think you can be happy if all people's contacts are based on your being wronged, being obedient to him and constantly changing the status quo for him? Can this relationship last?

Similarly, if you blindly ask him to change the status quo to meet your requirements, he can't be himself. In the long run, this connection will definitely collapse.

A relationship should be balanced, and similar projects can be consolidated together. Only one person is always involved, one person is patient, one person is patient, and one person changes, which is difficult to do!

So, if your boyfriend is having an affair, you will feel that it is your own problem. It is also difficult to achieve this road by desperately changing the status quo to obey his hobbies and become what he likes. You can get back together for a while, but it is unlikely to last forever.

Second, it is difficult to keep foreign love.

1. "Strangeness" brought by meeting and goodbye

You have known your partner for a long time. Even if we say good night to each other and have a good dream every day, it will only be a spiritual communication from beginning to end, but the object must be physical contact and actually waiting.

Otherwise, it will be difficult for everyone to have a real heart, and there will be a clear sense of distance when they meet again.

People who have talked about foreign boyfriends in colleges and universities should find that, for example, everyone went home in the summer vacation. If you don't meet for two months, you will be embarrassed and not used to meeting again.

In behavioral psychology, it takes at least 2 1 day for a person's new learning inertia or core idea to be generated and popularized, which is the so-called 2 1 day effect.

In other words, if a person's posture or thought is repeated for 2 1 day, it will become a subconscious posture or thought.

In other words, if you haven't seen each other for 21 days, your behavior patterns and habits have already been integrated into his daily life, and it is very dangerous to touch him again and destroy the original balance.

The sense of distance and distance in this psychological state will make you gradually deviate from each other's impression. Usually, the longer you are apart, the more one-sided your impression will be. And it is also likely to be biased according to subjective consciousness. In turn, it causes "strangeness" and "lack of emotion" in the subconscious.

Under such circumstances, one of the difficulties in talking about retention is that it is difficult for the other party to put you in a high position when dealing with your retention. You have become less and less important in each other's mental cognitive ability.

To put it simply, "ta has long been used to daily life without you. Your appearance and your tolerance are likely to cause them work pressure, not sweetness. "

2, leading to a lack of sense of belonging.

The most practical thing about foreign love is that at first, everyone thought that everyone was working and living separately, but in fact, it is not easy to differ too much in the amount of love.

And then all wet. In the same big city, especially cohabiting lovers, apart from trysts, if it really causes dependence, it is in their daily life and work.

They needed a meal, so they ate together. Although they probably had a simple meal and didn't say anything, they gradually shaped their hearts during the whole meal. ......

Two people need to sleep, so they sleep together, but during the whole process of falling asleep, one person will take the initiative to tuck you in and the other will give you a hug from behind. These are all things that warm your mood.

And you've been away. Even if ta is ill, you have to drink more hot water. In the case of ta's grievance, you can only get rid of it according to the language, and ta may only hug each other with one shoulder.

A person's sense of powerlessness in life is difficult to complete according to online communication. Otherwise, what's the difference between a couple and a basin friend?

So there must be a situation where one party feels insecure first. You can't meet ta's emotional needs, and you can't wait for ta when necessary, so it's normal for ta to leave you.

Since ta has long been used to your "absence", it is difficult for you to arouse ta's emotional needs for you.

Therefore, in the whole process of retaining, in addition to handling our differences, we must first find ways to stimulate each other's emotional needs.

Although it is often said that you should be rational and rational in the case of retention, you need rationality in this case, but you must never let the other party be "over-rational." You need to give the other person a moderate amount of stimulation, or let the other person pay attention to you again according to showing yourself.

3. Low interest rates

Many foreign relations feel that their feelings for each other can overcome everything from the beginning. But in short, emotions are too elusive, enthusiasm is very easy to fade, and I think it is also very easy to fade.

Even if we can keep in touch with each other. But I can't escape "I'll tell you an interesting thing"-I can't escape "Have you eaten?" "Sleep?" -Communication with "Good night, sweet dreams" and "Good morning" declined.

After all, the words across the screen are always cold, no matter how good the words are. Besides, when two people have their own daily life, social circle and work. The less we have in common, the less we can enjoy happiness and pain together.

There is a very common situation. After the foreign love, it is more and more difficult for two people to talk together. If both people want to let go, that's fine. In the past, if one of them wanted to talk to the other, he hoped to get understanding and tolerance. The other thinks that you may not understand what I said, so you might as well talk to your friends.

That kind of communication will lead to the breakdown of the situation. You can't immediately reply to ta's passion, and you can't get to the point in what you say. In the long run, the other party habitually regards you as a "passerby who knows you best" from the heart. At this time, it will be more and more difficult for you to arouse ta's interest and expectation.

And you can't find out what changes have taken place in ta's daily life. Even if he tells you, the information has a lag effect. You can't feel his present situation and other requirements according to his language expression, small expression and personal behavior.

Therefore, it is difficult for you to find the right opportunity to enter the topic discussion under the condition of retaining. If you force "hello" and "attention", it will cause the other party's work pressure and conflict, and even feel very inconvenient.

Therefore, if you want to keep a foreign love, you must first beat around the bush from all aspects and then prescribe the right medicine. Remember that you can't treat ta in some previous ways. After all, people are constantly changing. And the lover who often waits can usually change with _, or be hurt by the other party.

And foreign love is that two people go in different directions and go further and further. If you want to stay, you must take two more steps on his path.

Third, how to choose the right opportunity to retain.

Generally, after breaking up, both the party who proposes to break up and the party who proposes to break up will go through five stages:

1./p & gt；

Simply put, it is _ crazy period. At this stage, both sides are in a situation of great emotional fluctuation, and their mentality rises and falls, and the advantages or disadvantages of the other side are constantly getting bigger.

From the perspective of social psychology, breaking up can be understood as a retreat. When two people are together for a long time, their psychological state and feelings will be dependent.

The human brain has a very interesting feature: sensory adaptation. In other words, with the improvement of a certain feeling, everyone's brain will gradually integrate this feeling and regard it as everything is normal.

When this situation, which is set to "everything is normal" by the human brain by default, is rid of, the most remarkable change is the change of mentality and personal behavior. People will become more and more restless, anxious and angry, and it is likely that they will continue to find it more and more difficult to concentrate and fall asleep in confusion.

Therefore, at this stage, all personal behaviors should not be retained or even contacted at all.

2./p & gt；

The theme style of this period is acceptance and return. During the recovery period, the excitement gradually eased, and I can gradually think of my ex-boyfriend because of some things related to him before.

This reminiscence may be good or bad. Whether this breakup is "making a mountain out of a molehill" is the fault of the other party and a happy past.

At this stage, it is suggested that you don't have to "disturb" each other as much as possible, waiting for the memory to precipitate again.

3./p & gt；

People's memory is actually selective. People usually remember that something that makes them happy, even something that made them miserable before, will be eliminated with time. Many people like retro, usually for these reasons.

Therefore, after the memory of the previous stage, the treacherous "liar company" of memory will gradually clean up this already completed relationship.

It's like when the snow melts, everything in the world is gradually reborn. Memories of the cake will be erased, and good memories will be gradually highlighted. This is a particularly suitable contact opportunity, first expose each other's mentality.

Pay more attention to what you have been good at in each other and lay a good foundation afterwards.

4./p & gt；

The fourth link is the silent period. It can also be called recovery period and habituation period, which is not the best time to stay.

Because the other person is probably used to being single for a long time and will analyze the situation more objectively and carefully, you are likely to make a thorough change and be 100% diligent in order to succeed and keep a relationship.

5./p & gt；

The fifth link, if you have reached this link, then _ suggest that you completely complete this relationship and do not prepare for retention. Because once you enter this link, it means that the other party has completely learned to let go, and even prepared to gradually new feelings.

At this time, it will not only get twice the result with half the effort, but also continue to make the other party tired of you. Sometimes it's admirable to let go of your hands, isn't it?

After the above analysis, it goes without saying that the third link is the best, but many people don't.

Many people will pay attention to the problem of "breaking up to save the golden period", some say within a week, some say within a month, and some say within two months. Can't say _ makes sense, but it's too one-sided.

Because after a period of time, the person who broke up is likely to be in different links, and it is very likely that for A, it has entered the third stage; However, for B, it is very likely that they have not come out of the first stage.

Authoritative expert analysis:

Cheating is a taboo in marriage, representing betrayal and division. It is easy to let the stable emotion perish and the two people who love each other break. In all normal sexual relationships, infidelity is also very common, whether it is a mental change of heart or a physical confusion, it is unacceptable. Therefore, when you deal with your boyfriend's affair abroad, you must first weigh your heart and learn to let it go before you can retain it. If you can't learn to let go, you must find another rose. It is better to bid farewell to long-distance love with dignity, change yourself and save it.