How to show off elegantly when eating Western food for the first time?

01

I am Mars, the Mars who is loved by everyone, has flowers blooming, and has flat tires in cars. Every year during May Day, I remember the gorgeous, unforgettable, and extremely elegant experience of eating Western food five years ago.

02

Here’s the thing. Five years ago, my friend invited me to dinner and asked me what I would like to eat. I said Western food.

As a domineering president who takes the international route, yes, it’s me. I never fight an unprepared battle.

I opened Du Niang and entered a very interesting question: What is the most elegant way to eat Western food?

After several hours of assault, I finally mastered the technical points:

First, when going to a high-end Western restaurant, you must wear a neat top and leather shoes.

Second, do not pour wine, arrange tableware, pick up dropped knives and forks on the floor, etc. Do it yourself. Let the waiter do it.

Third, don’t greet the waiter loudly. Usually as long as you raise your hand a little, the waiter will notice.

Fourth, don’t laugh loudly, otherwise you may be complained by other guests in the restaurant.

Fifth, don’t look around when eating, always pay attention to the people at other tables.

Sixth, when eating with a knife and fork, hold the fork in your left hand and the knife in your right hand; when cutting things, hold the fork in your left hand to hold the food, and hold the knife in your right hand to cut it into small pieces, and then use the fork to serve In the entrance.

Seventh, red wine goes with red meat. Red wine should be looked at, shaken, smelled and tasted at once.

Eighth, do not cross your legs, cross your feet, or play with the tableware that has been placed on the dining table after you are seated. When eating, keep about a fist's distance between your belly and the table. You must remember to eat with your head up and your chest up. When bringing the food in front of you into your mouth, you should take the food with your mouth instead of bending down to take the food with your mouth.

The first few points are easy to say, but the eighth point is a bit difficult for me. I practiced in advance. During lunch, my expression was weird, my movements were stiff, and I always dropped the food before it reached my mouth. , my colleagues asked me with concern, Mars, have you had a stroke?

You just had a stroke.

Then what are you smoking?

03

Finally the critical moment of life has arrived.

I stepped into the door of the western restaurant, a small step forward, a big step towards civilization.

The queue of people in the restaurant next to it is so crowded, while the Western restaurant has so few customers.

When I walked inside, my waist became straight, and Lao Han’s legs became sharp; the air became fresher, and my mood was no longer depressed; the Ren and Du meridians were opened, and the curled hair became smooth; there were no tooth decay Now, my appetite has greatly increased; the world has become beautiful, and my sexual desire has also increased...

Amen, the exaggeration technique taught by the primary school Chinese teacher has finally come in handy.

But to be honest, it felt like my altitude had changed by 180 degrees in a second, and my muscles were stronger than stronger.

04

Looking out the window, the neon lights were flashing, and I thought to myself several times: You deserve it!

The gorgeous crystal lamp casts a faint light, making the entire restaurant look elegant and quiet. The soft saxophone music fills the entire restaurant, spreading like an invisible smoke, slowly occupying your heart, making it difficult for your heart to feel nervous and angry anymore. The smell of aromatherapy is neither strong nor demonic. It just changes your complicated mood in a subtle way, making your inner lake as calm as a bright mirror without any ripples. Courteous waiters, quiet guests, whispering and laughing from time to time, the environment is peaceful and beautiful.

The waiter brought over a plate of smoked salmon.

I unfolded the napkin with great pleasure and tucked it into my collar. I learned this from Hong Kong and Taiwan dramas. I am extremely lucky that I have watched several idol dramas. Then wait for your brother’s approving eyes. Unexpectedly, after he opened the napkin, he folded it inward by one-third, and then laid two-thirds of the napkin flat on his legs, covering his legs above the knees.

I almost blurted out: This is not how napkins are used.

But he quickly glanced at the waiter. Before he opened his mouth, he realized that he was wrong and quickly changed it.

Later I learned that tucking a napkin into the collar would be considered uneducated.

05

The second course was lobster bisque.

The third course was vegetable cheese toast.

These two dishes are eaten together.

At this time, the waiter brought a crystal bowl with lemon slices floating on the water. I thought it was a bowl of soup, so I poured it into my own bowl and drank it. The brother was stunned for a moment, and then he drank it too. The waiter on the side responded very appropriately: Sir, this is for washing hands, not for drinking.

Ten thousand arrows shot into my little heart. Don't stop me, I'm going to jump off the building...

06

The fourth course is steak.

The best partner of red wine and steak is about to make its debut.

I cheered and jumped in my heart, singing loudly: "Red wine, red wine, I love you, I think of you when I see steak..."

But I drank and ate in anticipation. The meat scene didn't come, so the red wine left the steak behind and went to have fun alone.

The most important thing is that the trick of pretending to taste red wine that I have rehearsed countless times in my mind is invalid...

I decided to eat meat.

I held the fork in my left hand and the knife in my right hand to stab the "enemy".

Unexpectedly, the enemy was so tough and tenacious that I could not kill him with one blow, so I used the Eighteen Pig-killing Styles, increased the power, and finally heard the enemy's roar of pain.

Then I saw the miserable expressions on the faces of the buddy and the waiter.

I said calmly: "Waiter, bring me a pair of chopsticks."

The waiter's face changed from miserable to confused.

It took him a long time to react and said: "Sorry sir, we don't provide chopsticks!"

Damn it, it turns out that many high-end Western restaurants do not provide chopsticks.

07

The fifth course is salad.

The sixth course is tiramisu.

The last dish is coffee.

When the coffee was served, I muttered: Wow, so small?

I added a lot of milk and sugar to the coffee, stirred it a few times and then drank it. "Be careful... it's hot." Before I could finish saying these three words, I started shouting "It's hot... it's hot... it's hot...".

This time I learned to be smart and drank it spoon by spoon, but I felt that drinking it this way was not enough. Stirring and cooling with a coffee spoon was too slow, so I blew it with my mouth.

"Speed ??up the surface air flow", any knowledge points?

But like Columbus II, I discovered that my brother didn’t add anything and drank black...coffee...grey...

08

After coming back , I immediately opened Du Niang and entered a very cool question: What is the mentality of people who drink coffee without milk or sugar?

It turns out that in the West, people with status generally drink black coffee without anything added. So if you want others to think you are a person of status, be sure to drink black coffee that is bitter and astringent - of course, this is just a joke.

09

I drank a cup of yogurt to help digestion, and I was really full. He also thoughtfully entered a bigger than bigger question: When eating Western food, why do you need to drink coffee after the meal?

The answer given by experts in Western food etiquette is: after eating a lot of food, you need to drink some coffee or tea to dissolve the greasiness.

Then a shocking line of text jumped into view: The coffee spoon has only one function, which is to stir coffee. Never drink it by the spoonful. Never blow coffee through your mouth to make it cool faster.

I wiped it, and in an instant, it was like a gun was aimed at my head, and there was a "bang", game over.

Then I also discovered: when ordering in a Western restaurant, if you just have a light meal, you can just have an appetizer and main course, plus a dessert. You can skip the soup, or omit the appetizer, which is also an ideal combination. However, it should be noted that any decent restaurant does not welcome customers who only order side dishes.

My friend ordered "one main and six side dishes", which is a more formal way of ordering. This is the most traditional way of ordering Western food.

I nodded very understandingly, oh, my friend is optimistic that I will become the "next pig on the trend."

10

Pretending to be awesome The guidebook said that taking photos in high-end Western restaurants is very low-key, so I just took a few dozen photos.

I only carefully selected 9 photos, which looked very calm and relaxed, and sent them to the circle of friends with the text: I went to eat Western food with my friends.

Again, it seems that he doesn’t care and doesn’t look forward to everyone’s likes and comments. He is waiting for likes and comments.

11

At this point, the "New Western Restaurant Pretense Guide" was born. I believe that everyone will be impressed by Mars' brilliance and its "like spring water at the bottom of a well, flowing endlessly" Impressed by the vision.

This story tells us: Don’t pretend to be cool, otherwise you will be struck by lightning.