Classic lines of bragging and cross talk

Lead: Crosstalk, a kind of folk rap art, the word "Crosstalk" came into being in ancient times, which originally meant imitating other people's words and deeds, and later developed into "image sound". The following is my collection of classic lines about bragging and cross talk. Welcome to read them for reference!

Animals (people) have discerning eyes.

He can fart and break his white shorts into chrysanthemums.

When they went out to pick up things, they lost them.

A dung truck passed by their house and had to go out to taste salty water.

Speak louder. You don't need electricity!

Crosstalk is good! Attack ugliness, Huoxiang is healthy.

There are more than 1000 traditional cross talks left by the old man. After years of continuous efforts by our actors, there are now more than 400 pieces left. There are still 300 paragraphs that are not allowed to be said, and there are paragraphs that conflict with building a harmonious society.

There is a child near our home who can speak seven or eight foreign languages. What are the English, Japanese, Korean, Yugoslav, North Slavic and West Slavic languages? Anyway, sit with Eight-Nation Alliance and scold him. Can he not repeat himself?

Our family is riddled with holes, and when it rains, it is fatal: it rains outside, and it rains outside, sometimes it rains too hard, so the whole family takes shelter in the streets.

If you are willing to die, I am willing to bury it.

Everyone is willing to listen, willing to listen, or willing to listen, I will never be forced.

This guy robbed a bank and drove up the North Third Ring Road. 5: 30 in the afternoon! When the police arrived, the traffic jam was very serious.

Your shameless appearance is very similar to my charm.

Huh? You don't know me? I am an artist! I have been an artist for over a week.

Degang Guo: Brother, I hope that the world will be peaceful, the people of the world will live and work in peace and contentment, and there will be no war, okay?

God thought about it. Let's tell the truth about this difficulty. I'm not that capable. Really, brother, I'm not refuting your face. I won't tell you anything else. Can you change it? Let's discuss something else.

When I touch my body, I bring other people's photos. Brother, look at this. This is my other disciples. His name is Yu Qian. He looks cold and can't find anyone. Please make him more beautiful.

God: (thinking) Let's talk about world peace (tearing up photos).

Degang Guo: Hey, why did you tear up the photo, huh? I don't agree. I don't agree. Why tear it? I still keep it to ward off evil spirits!

I have money at home and drive a Cadillac. You can tell from the sound that it is a good machine, imported from Germany. Chug chug? Oh, three jumps. As soon as you drive, half of Beijing emits black smoke, and the traffic police shout at you. Elder Sun, take your power. ?

From today on, I will never eat lobster again.

Grenade is very expensive. If there are six grenades for one dollar, I'll throw you a hundred dollars first. If the law didn't care, I would have killed you!

This young man looks like an actor, covering his face?

All right! This plane, like Dafa, has a rocking glass! ..... It was a big deal, but Li Xia didn't give newspapers ... Tianjin didn't make a big deal, but all of them went to the United States ... They flew to the United States for half a year and returned more than 10,000 oil.

Guo: What should I do? I'm so rich. I don't know how to spend it Hey? ! Yu Qian, why don't I take care of you?

Will you take care of me? !

Guo: Ah ... no ... No matter how rich we are, we must choose our looks!

Shouxing Lao: Jade Emperor Jade Emperor! ~ something has come up.

Jade Emperor: What happened to the birthday girl?

Shouxing Lao: Do you have a hammer and nails? Let me use it. My sika deer bit the railing.

Jade Emperor: Shouxing, what can I say about you? It doesn't matter if you ride that deer, you have to feed it! ~

It was very cold, so I sent you a coat. The post office said it was too heavy, so I hinged the belt buckle down and put it in my pocket.

-Wen Shun, what did you find?

I won't tell you that I brought boiled eggs.

-Give it to me.

-No? Guess, guess how many.

-I guess you gave me one.

――? If you want to guess, I'll give you two.

I thought about it for a long time, didn't I?

-This is a false tooth.

-Throw it away.

-Don't throw it away. It's too bad.

-Why?

-Tie a stick to it as a tickler.

? The story told today is not far from now. If there are old people at home, can you go back and ask? During the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period

Flight, from Xizhimen to Daxing Huangcun, the fare is RMB, please board. How interesting you say this is. The flight attendants will shout when they stand there. Let's go, let's go. There are big seats, there are big seats. Be sure to have a big seat!

So-and-so was born and his father was ill. After returning to China, his mother is the hardest. Here is the husband and there are the children. We should take care of them. Feed the medicine here, feed the medicine there, feed the milk, feed the medicine. Feed medicine, breast-feed His father is too strong, and the child has taken the wrong medicine. .

Law-abiding and melancholy, strong beam and night singing, riding a mule and hurting people, honest and fair and starving. Building bridges and roads is blind, killing and setting fires. I went to the Western Heaven to ask my Buddha, and the Buddha said, No way!

? The foot of my bed is shining with such bright light. Is it frosty already? , looked up and found it was moonlight, (pa! My name is Degang Guo. There are many people here. I am very happy. Thank you for coming. Don't go after the party. Go and eat. Whoever goes will pay. Listen to cross talk for twenty, and make a noise of sixteen thousand. Laugh and add money. ?

Yu Qian: A tooth is still stuffed.

Degang Guo: He ate the lotus root and got it in his eye!

? I am a rich man. Today, backstage, I drove here and they all came on foot. Those old gentlemen in Tianjin went out on Tuesday. But my car has had some problems recently, and the speed is a bit slow. At first, I thought the carburetor was dirty. I won't know until I check. I dropped my pedal.

How can I describe his appearance to you? Have you ever seen baked sweet potatoes? Just baked. It's too hot in your hand. I accidentally missed it and fell to the ground. There came a child wearing spikes and stepped on this sweet potato. . His face is like this sweet potato. (Bang: He looks like a story. )

Are you vulgar? But I like it.

I want to kill myself and jump off a building. I have studied this kind of jump. The building is different from the building. What kind of building is this? Dad? 、? Huh? , this building is? Ah ~ ~ ~? Dad?

Hearing the news of your father's death, the neighbors cried: such a good man, he died too late! ?

After midnight, two gentlemen went into the street naked, and only Jing Li was wearing a pair of glasses? If you wear another mask, it will be three points.

How beautiful these two nurses are: 1.7 meters tall, with sideburns and whiskers, and wide palms to protect their hearts.

Yu Qian's father? Master Wang.

Li Jing has a cousin who can tiptoe under Li Xia in high heels. She looks poor. Her picture is posted on the door to ward off evil spirits and on the bed for contraception.

Have you ever seen a gangster with a crayon tattooed on him?

Everyone in "Single Knife Club" knows that Liu Guan and Zhang Taoyuan became sworn friends three times, and the three men hit their heads on the ground like brothers, and then went to protect Tang Priest to learn from the scriptures. There is this story in A Dream of Red Mansions.

We all drove back to Beijing. Mr. Yu is taller than us. He looked down on us when we drove, so he rode back by himself.

The old man has been sweating all over these days, and the smell under his armpit is cumin.

You hit the monk after reading the scriptures.

Degang Guo: Ask a layman in Jushilin to write a spell for your father.

Yu Qian: Right.

Degang Guo: Can ordinary people invite you? Jushilin's came, Kutokuhayashi's, Zhilin's, McDonald's and Quanjude's also came.

Degang Guo: I'm sorry to see your father like this. I grew up with the old man, grew up in front of him and watched me grow up. Now he is so ill, can I feel it in my heart?

Yu Qian: Exactly.

Degang Guo: Huh? (Pointing) Old man, you ... you have today.

Degang Guo: There was a case of dismemberment. The body was dismembered into eight pieces, which was terrible. The detective asked Yu Qian: What do you think is going on? Yu Qian wanted to think and said? I think this is suicide. ?

There are three big characters written on the rostrum? Tongguan? .

You haven't met my wife, beautiful! Tall, with a big face and heavy eyebrows. She has no beard. She should have a beard like Zhang Fei.

This plane is also diesel.

The white one in the White House-freshly brushed pulp.

There are twenty people standing in front of the White House, men and women, and all the bags are ready-reporter! I have to be careful what I say. I don't want to be caught by them and embarrass China people. Next, all these people came over: Master, would you like a plate? Selling vegetables! What do you think the White House Cultural Bureau does for food?

There is a rockery in the White House with a banner below it: Everyone is responsible for family planning.

If two kinds of feelings are interdependent, it is not pork and pork.

How many stops is Tieling from America?

Help if you have difficulties, and help if you don't create difficulties.

The girl looked back and combed her four hairs.

Walking, hey, there is a question mark in front. Did Liu Bei jump? Are you shocked? Ah, mushrooms. After eating mushrooms, Liu Bei has grown taller. Still go forward, there is another question mark, a touch, a flower, after eating the flower, Liu Bei raised his hand. Toot, toot, toot. Can shoot bullets! With wings, the tortoise will come?

You know my appetite, and I don't like roast duck, so I can't eat it after eating four. I said, I really can't eat. I have to eat when I get home later.

Oh, my God, this is so exciting. My heart is about to be torn apart.