Seek the full text of Degang Guo's cross talk "I want to struggle"

Crosstalk Text Crosstalk "I Want to Struggle" Performer: Degang Guo Yu Qian

Guo: Nice to meet you all.

Y: hey.

Guo: There are many people coming.

Yes

Guo: Men, women and children.

Y: both.

Guo: How nice!

Yes

Guo: Many people still have cameras.

Y: be natural.

Guo: Take the lunch box naturally. No, it's fine.

Yes

Guo: You said that the old man said that he didn't shoot cross talk.

Y: There were no cameras at that time.

Guo: Right?

Y: right.

Guo: Or is society progressing?

Y: right.

Guo: Telephone, mobile phone, how common?

Y: Everyone has one.

Guo: Everyone has it.

Y: right.

Guo: As you can imagine, I remember that there were very few telephones at home when I was a child.

Y: Right?

Guo: I have a phone at home, so I'll call home if I need anything.

Y: Everyone has a public phone.

Guo: Do you have the telephone number of Angong? How convenient it is now.

Yes

Guo: All kinds, clamshell type, so, so, I can't get through.

Y: I can't get through.

Guo: It's broken.

Yu: children's toys

Guo: Was there one in the past?

Y: no

Guo: It's good to be able to talk when there is noise.

Yes

Guo: Me too.

Y: you?

Guo: My mobile phone has different ringtones.

Y: You also like color ring tones.

Guo: As soon as it rings, "bang, bang" is a wave.

Y: sing and play the strings.

Guo: "Step on it, step on the other side, step on the other side."

Yu: Allegro

Guo: "Get up, people who don't want to be slaves." My daughter-in-law, this thing is great. "Dad answers the phone."

Y: this is.

Guo: Yu Qian

Y: There is no such joke.

Guo: That's what I mean. I didn't like it before

Y: I used to.

Guo: What do you think of the rooms for the elderly?

Yes

Guo: When your grandfather was a child.

Y: My grandfather.

Guo: Has he seen this?

Y: Not at that time.

Guo: I have never seen a mobile phone until my death. At that time, they shouted with loudspeakers.

Y: There were speakers.

Guo: There is no electricity.

Y: Oh, just this one.

Guo: Come out, folks. The imperial army did not rob food.

Y: traitor.

Guo: Later, the speaker was electrified.

Y: Then there will be a charge.

Guo: They are all hung in the village.

Y: right.

Guo: That's what his uncle called it in the village. Widows Wang, Li and Zhao in the village east, if you don't pay the electricity bill, I will kick your door in the middle of the night.

Y: oh, what's the matter? Kick the widow's door.

Guo: It's great that the times are developing and the society is progressing.

Y: ah.

Guo: To be honest.

Y: ah.

Guo: Everyone in the world is willing to go up.

Y: that's right.

Guo: Man struggles upwards, but water flows downwards.

Y: right.

Guo: It's true. Take a comic boy as an example.

Y: ah.

Guo: The students are all looking forward to becoming actors. Little actor wants to be a big actor, big actor wants to be a corner, corner wants to be an artist, and artist wants to be a master.

Y: right.

Guo: Of course there are wishes, but not everyone can realize them.

Y: that's right.

Guo: There are several like Teacher Yu.

Y: HOHO, you flatter me.

Guo: Teacher Yu Qian, I believe you want to be a master in the future.

Y: really?

Guo: It's all staged.

Y: hey.

Guo: Our theater manager is such a picky person.

Y: that's right.

Guo: I can't say this, I can't say that, I'll talk about it later.

Y: Pick me.

Guo: Pick three thumbs to praise you.

Y: Where did these three come from?

Guo: Six fingers.

Y: it's too narrow.

Guo: Teacher Yu went out to perform two days ago.

Y: ah.

Guo: Oh, the audience is boiling.

Y: Oh, I like it.

Guo: Everyone in the audience consciously tipped 50 yuan.

Y: 50 for one person.

Guo: 50 for each audience.

Y: how much is it?

Guo: 100

Y: Just two people.

Guo: Quite a lot.

Y: ah.

Guo: OK, I have to learn from you.

Y: Hehe, don't.

Guo: Great people, to be honest, they are outstanding.

Y: not so good.

Guo: Let's look at the family again. Here, in this position, we look up at this family.

Yes

Guo: Father, the elderly and the country all attach great importance to it.

Y: really?

Guo: Government, what can I say? Who knows where his father came from100000, neither more nor less.

Y: I haven't heard of it.

Guo: You can bring the police.

Y: What about the wanted man?

Guo: Gao, a good scientist, hide and don't meet.

Y: I can't find it.

Guo: The country expects him to come out and do something.

Y: that's it.

Guo: You don't know him. Clothes and food are Yu Qian's first job.

Y: pay attention

Guo: Nice car, big house.

Y: the house is not small.

Guo: The big house upstairs and downstairs is 300 square meters with motorcycles.

Y: it's still a motorcycle

K: There is an elevator.

Y: Still run around the house three times.

Guo: Wrong, belt, belt.

Y: the elevator.

Guo: Elevator, upstairs and downstairs, how nice, I'll learn from you.

Y: I dare not.

Guo: I am eager to be an outstanding person.

Y: really?

Guo: I hope you can give me more advice.

Y: you're welcome.

Guo: You taught me. Actually, I have an advantage.

Y: really?

Guo: First of all, I have a good personality.

Y: Oh, that's the essence.

Guo: Really, I am a very honest person.

Y: I see.

Guo: Really, I picked up money dropped by others in the street, and I was still talking about me when I picked up the money.

Y: how are you?

Guo: Wait for the owner.

Y: oh.

Guo: The main thing is that I don't want it. I want it again.

Y: What did you say to the owner?

Guo: Don't tell him.

Y: Ah, what are you waiting for?

Guo: Now that you mention it, money is hard to find. Besides, I am very emotional.

Y: ah.

Guo: When I was dating my daughter-in-law, I bought her flowers every day.

Y: every day.

Guo: Finally, she told me not to buy it. I really can't eat, popcorn.

Y: it's disgusting to eat this every day

Guo: I want to be outstanding.

Y: oh.

Guo: I want to be a great person.

Y: Then what can you do?

Guo: It's a person, you.

Y: what will happen to you?

Guo: This is called bullying and being afraid of hard work. Ah, I've been ruined by your hands all my life.

Y: What wisdom do you have?

Guo: Do you have to go back?

Hello.

Guo: If you have it, it will be destroyed.

Y: no, I haven't?

Guo: I have the ability.

Y: what ability?

Guo: I am very clever.

Y: oh.

Guo: I'm very handy. I can, I can, uh, cut the mutton slices.

Y: ah.

Guo: Yes, I can cut beef slices.

Y: ah.

Guo: I can also sharpen the knife. After grinding, I can cut mutton slices.

Y: You can only cook.

Guo: What's wrong with the dry cook?

Y: ah.

Guo: A dry cook is not bad either.

Y: really?

Guo: Dae Jang Geum of North Korea.

Y: Dae Jang Geum.

Guo: You all know that, right?

Yes

Guo: TV series, step by step, how difficult it is.

Yes

Guo: I also opened a Korean restaurant.

Y: The opening of the Korea Pavilion.

Guo: Learn from Dae Jang Geum.

Y: really?

Guo: My name is Xiao Changjin.

Yu: Xiao Changjin

Guo: After the opening ceremony, all the guests came. Let's have a bowl of stew.

Y: Does it have anything to do with pot cooking?

Guo: He thinks I'm a chain of Xiao Changchen.

Y: Does Xiao Changjin have this person?

Guo: Not much difference. I have to do my career.

Y: Doing business is right.

Guo: I want to be an outstanding person.

Y: good.

Guo: I can't be as careless as others all my life.

Y: that won't do.

Guo: I want them to know the two eyes of Erlang God.

Y: No, Jiro has three eyes.

Guo: One of them is nearsighted.

Y: He totally understands.

Guo: I thought about it, too. I want to make a good omen before I start my career.

What are you doing?

Guo: Find a temple in Xishan, Beijing.

Y: worship Buddha.

Guo: There is an old monk in the temple who asks for a visa.

Y: Burn incense.

Guo: Ask for an amulet.

Y: good.

Guo: Let the master talk about me and enlighten me.

Y: ok.

Guo: Let's go.

Yes

Guo: The bus is still broken.

Y: The car broke down.

Guo: Go on foot.

Y: be religious.

Guo: That's right.

Y: This is the most important thing.

Guo: Does the Lama who went to Tibet know?

Y: I know.

Guo: There will be a Lama here and a tower here.

Y: stop it.

Guo: Lama, look at this kowtow. Bang, bang. ...

Yes, yes.

Guo: What does this mean?

Yu: throw yourself on the ground.

Guo: Sincerity.

Y: right.

Guo: When I grow up, I will have four lamas at home.

Y: why?

Guo: Wipe the floor and order.

Y: well, that's not the purpose.

Guo: Who cares? After that, after I became famous. I will go to worship Buddha first.

Y: oh.

Guo: Let's go.

Y: good.

Guo: I am religious. My shoes are worn out and I'm exhausted.

Yes

Guo: Here comes the young monk who entered the temple. Where did the benefactor come from? He comes from the Tang Dynasty in the East.

Monkey, what's wrong with you?

Guo: Are you looking for a visa or doing health care?

Y: Why are you still doing health care in this temple?

Guo: Baojian Temple.

Yu: Baojian Temple

K: Knives, sliced mutton and beef.

Y: You are a mess.

Guo: See the old abbot.

Y: old monk.

Guo: scold me, enlighten me and ask for a mascot.

Y: ah.

Guo: Come in. Come to the abbot's room. There is a beautiful woman sitting here.

Y: What old monk?

Guo: I'm applying for a visa.

Y: that's right.

Guo: Visa applicants are more pleasing to the eye than you.

Y: Then who shall I compete with?

Guo: The old abbot is kind-hearted and sits cross-legged barefoot.

Y: oh.

Guo: This is a story told through the ages, and so is Wang's second sister.

Y: The old monk sang duet before becoming a monk. What's it like?

Guo: Nonsense, sin, sin, don't be rude to others.

Y: me.

Guo: Master, come here quickly. Give me a plug. I'll go first. My shoes are all broken. I'll give them back to you when I'm finished …

From my standpoint, I want to go out and fight.

Y: oh.

Guo: I want to be an outstanding person.

Y: hey.

Guo: What do you think I need to do?

Y: ah.

Guo: enlighten me.

Y: What did the old monk say?

Guo: Bodhi is not a tree, nor is a mirror a platform. There is nothing, so what makes dust. Great, great.

Y: I really don't understand. I pretended not to understand.

Guo: Tell me you will do it again.

Jade: The old monk brought it here.

Guo: The old monk spoke. Since the benefactor likes me, I'll try again. It's hard, morally mysterious, and not a confidant. Knowing a few words won't waste your breath on your bosom friend. . Hey, that's good. You have another one, you have another one, and more.

Y: What do you mean by "more"?

K: Good. Pass down through the ages, a beautiful marriage.

Y: why? This again.

Guo: Oh, yes, yes, I'll give you a fresh one, a fresh one, and try again. Amitabha is proud of not asking questions any more, and ashamed of being endless.

Y: here we are, here we are.

Guo: I won't ask, really. Oh, good, good.

Y: That's what you need.

Guo: Please advise.

Y: Tell me about it.

Guo: Is there anything you need me to do?

Y: ah.

Guo: Oh, what should I say?

Yes

Guo: My shoes are all broken. Please change it for me. Amitabha, I'll change it for you after I change it.

Y: ok.

Guo: Otherwise, we have that amulet for me.

Y: Hey, I don't want this.

K: OK.

Y: this is.

Guo: Take a piece of paper.

Y: wow.

Guo: The old monk came in with a tray. Take the amulet, benefactor. All of them were taken away by the poor monk.

Y: no

K: It's polished.

Yu: Open.

Guo: How can I get there without driving?

Y: I have.

Guo: Turn on the light.

K: Open it. Open it. Good luck. Turn around and come out. Oh, I must keep a good attitude. Starting today, I want to

Struggle, I want to be an excellent person, a great person and a capable person.

Y: ah.

Guo: It gets cold under your feet when you walk.

Y: what's the matter

Guo: psst, the sole is gone.

Y: I have to mend my shoes.

Guo: Why is it so cold? Oh, look at the license plate of FAW under your feet.

Y: oh.

Guo: Pick it up, Jing C4329.

Y: It's a good size.

Guo: This is a gift from heaven.

Y: huh?

Guo: I will be outstanding soon.

Y: as long as the car brand.

Guo: I'll buy a pen and draw eight pictures with this J.

Yu: Jam.

Guo: My car belongs to the Ministry of Public Security.

Y: no shame.

Guo: The change of identity.

Y: What does it look like?

Guo: Hang it in my car after the change and drive it out. The police are coming, hey! Stand there, stand there. I said you were crazy, Jing.

Y: that's right.

Guo: I'm from the Ministry of Public Security.

Y: ah.

Guo: Bah!

Y: what's the matter

Guo: The Ministry of Public Security still does it.

Y: What's the use of managing placards?

I'm devastated.

What hit you?

Guo: I have been depressed.

Y: ah.

Guo: Why do people tell me every time I run to the finish line?

Y: what?

Guo: You are too bad.

Y: it's too slow

Guo: Everyone says that you have to pay tuition to do great things.

Y: ah.

Guo: My tuition is enough for six universities.

Y: All the tuition fees have been paid.

Guo: I want to keep my feet on the ground.

Y: hey.

Guo: I want to struggle. I want to be an outstanding person, a great person.

Y: oh.

Guo: I'm going to start with the basics.

Y: right.

Guo: Nothing is vague, full of nonsense, and it can't be a big deal. Tinkering can also succeed.

Y: basic.

Guo: I want to do real estate.

Y: this is not small.

Guo: I'll go. I will go to Wangfujing to buy a piece of land.

Y: Wangfujing?

Guo: My uncle is in charge there.

Y: what is the responsibility?

Guo: Toilet hygiene.

Y: That's what your uncle uses to clean the toilet.

Guo: I want to put that toilet down.

Y: ah.

Guo: That's what I think. My uncle was detained twice.

Y: There are two rules for cleaning toilets.

Guo: The number of that broom doesn't match that of that mop.

Y: that's still ~

Guo: Find someone.

Y: ah.

Guo: Someone has to talk to me when I put down the toilet.

Y: Who said what?

Guo: There is one backstage.

Y: right.

Guo: His uncle and the American Embassy.

Y: You can talk to him.

Guo: Make friends, Uncle. Tell me about it.

Y: ah.

Guo: No, there is no current period.

Y: and the current period.

Guo: The toilet was dirty when I left.

Y: His uncle is guarding the toilet over there.

Guo: ... ⑥

Y: how can I put it?

Guo: Put the toilet down anyway.

Y: small.

Guo: From small to large.

Yu: Gao Gao

Guo: Walk 50 meters to the 50th floor.

Yu: 50th floor

Guo: Have you ever seen a chimney?

Y: that's right.

Guo: Beijing can't buy land either.

Y: oh.

Guo: No, now.

Y: not now.

Guo: Isn't it, at most, renting, decades, 350 years, that won't work?

Y: ah.

Guo: buying land will be a fire.

Y: oh.

Guo: There is a cross talk.

Y: What is he doing?

Guo: The land in front of my grandmother's house is cheap, 50 yuan per mu.

Y: That's too cheap.

Guo: In vain.

Y: It's the same as giving it away for nothing.

Guo: Ask your brothers to chip in 600 yuan. Let's buy a piece of land there.

Y: 600 yuan plays real estate.

Guo: Everyone goes home and pushes their bikes.

Y: wow.

Guo: Meet in the alley and let's go together.

Y: several shareholders.

Guo: Say I won't go.

Y: what's the matter

Guo: I can't pedal.

Y: what's the matter this is

Guo: I said, I'll carry you.

Y: You can have it.

Guo: You can't push it while carrying it.

Y: what's the matter

Guo: It's just too far.

Y: where is it?

Guo: Qaidam.

Y: I can't do it alone.

Guo: It's really far. What are we going to say?

Y: it's far.

Guo: You said to build a house in Qaidam. You said it was too difficult to buy a house. Qaidam is a basin with many places. This belongs to.

Sanhuanwai

Y: Do you want to learn some geography?

Guo: Within the Third Ring Road?

Y: What Third Ring Road is far from Qaidam?

Guo: It's quite far. What should I do? Is it cheap?

Y: Cheap is not good.

K: That's all right. Anyway, it's a little difficult for my boss to commute.

Y: what's the matter

Guo: I dig the subway.

Y: dig the subway.

Guo: Go to Beijing, dig the subway, dig to Qaidam and pick up the train.

Y: Just a moment, please.

Guo: Huh?

Y: Is there enough money to buy a house to repair the subway?

K: That's all right. I'll dig in the direction of Shanxi.

Y: why?

Guo: If you dig, you will get coal. You can buy coal to repair the subway.

Y: wow.

Guo: Dig again, dig again, and you will arrive in Shaanxi.

Yes

Guo: I'm going to make a terracotta warrior, then spray the Olympic logo and transport it to Panjiayuan for sale.

Y: Well, all those cultural relics are wasted.

Guo: That's right.

Yes

Guo: That's right.

Y: that's true. There is always money.

Guo: Yes, I'm here now.

Y: ah.

Guo: Digging and digging will lead to the Yellow River.

Y: to the yellow river.

Guo: What if the subway leaks?

Y: ah.

Guo: Let him take a boat in the subway.

Y: Take a boat in the subway.

Guo: Then you'd better come by plane.

Y: oh.

Guo: Qaidam came that morning and pulled all our owners to work in Beijing.

Y: wow.

Guo: Send them back to sleep at night.

Y: I have to ask you.

Guo: Ah.

Y: Where does this owner work? Is this plane still there?

Guo: Skydiving.

Y: Ah, all the owners parachuted.

Guo: That's right.

Y: ah.

Guo: At the Third Ring Road, everyone came down, and some ... attended.

Y: what should I do?

Guo: There are too many telephone poles in Beijing. The residents of our community are hanging in 49 cities. Take the umbrella off.

Y: It's a big project.

Guo: They put up small advertisements in Tongxian County.

Y: There are advertisements there.

Guo: What do they call it? Pot land, used to buy pots.

Yu: Qaidam basin

Guo: Save the basin.

Y: that's right.

Guo: Well ... [5], what do you think?

Y: You are thinking of one.

Guo: Is there any highland there? Let's find a highland to build it.

Y: there is one in the highlands.

Guo: Where?

Yu: Mount Everest, Mount Everest.

Guo: Yes.

Y: No, at this moment, I think of your apprentice, Mount Everest.

Guo: How many stops are there from the height of Mount Everest to Qaidam?

Y: How did you work it out?

Guo: If you want to build Mount Everest, you have to build affordable housing.

Y: why?

Guo: It's too expensive to buy ...

Y: here it is.

Guo: Yes, this line. How's the weather?

Y: cold.

Guo: It's cold.

Yu: Gao

Guo: Heating, heating all year round.

Y: heating all year round.

Guo: I tried my best to store coal in it.

Y: Where did the coal come from?

Guo: Look, isn't there coal to dig the subway to Shanxi?

Y: That's not for sale.

Guo: I don't sell it. Keep it for myself.

Y: Oh, it's all burnt.

Guo: I heard that it snows in that place.

Y: That's the altitude.

Guo: Hire two people to sweep the snow ... 5. They say global warming.

Y: ah.

Guo: It won't be long before the snow melts.

Y: so soon?

Guo: Great, ready to go.

Y: Let's go to Beijing Railway Station by bus.

Guo: You are confused. Can Beijing Station reach Mount Everest? Taiwan Province is closed.

Y: Close the platform and get on the bus.

Guo: Are you sitting on the stage? I can't stand not sitting.

Y: that's true. You can't stand on the platform and sit on Mount Everest.

Guo: Yes, find someone. Find someone to bring a calendar and newspaper.

Y: oh.

Guo: Hey, the northern slope of Mount Everest belongs to China, right?

Y: right.

Guo: No, it's a problem.

Y: what's the matter

Guo: The houses built on the north slope are all south houses, but the south houses are not hot. )

Y: North House ... ⒖

Guo: There is no one here. Guess what? Find a bunch of crosstalk performers.

Y: why?

Guo: Let them sell the house to me.

Y: what's the use?

Guo: You can just tell a lie about the crosstalk and sell it. Do you know that?/You know what?

Y: It's all lies.

K: Yes.

Y: ah.

Guo: I have one more question.

Y: ah.

Guo: With global warming, will the snow melt?

Y: that's right.

Guo: Has the ice melted?

Y: no more.

Guo: My building must be built on ice.

Y: ah!

Guo: Then my house will collapse.

Y: no more.

Guo: So Mount Everest is very warm, too?

Y: It's very hot.

Guo: Here comes the business.

Y: what's the matter

Guo: I'm going there to sell popsicles.