"Will you die if you speak nicely?" "No"

"Will you die if you speak up?"

"No!"

"But, I don't know when. I can’t speak well to the people around me anymore.”

01 All the quarrels in the world are because you can’t speak.

I heard a couple in the community when I was getting off work yesterday. The quarrel is actually a very trivial matter.

A man accidentally stepped on something dirty when he got out of the car after parking the car. The woman asked him: "Do you want me to give you some paper towels to wipe it with?"

The man covered his face with a slap in the face. Cursing: "Are you blind? Didn't you see that my shoes are dirty? Aren't you talking nonsense?"

The woman was obviously irritated and said: "What are you yelling at? If you speak up, you will die." "Isn't it okay for me to ask you if you want a tissue?"

Then the man said: "Isn't it because I stepped on something dirty that I'm in a bad mood?"

In fact, the original sentence is: whether you want it or not, that's it. Why bother saying such ugly and hurtful things?

It’s not that you are in a bad mood, the whole world has to cry with you;

It’s not that you are in a bad mood, everyone around you has to endure everything you do;

Just because you are in a bad mood, you have a reason not to speak nicely and stab the person you know best.

Any excuse is not a reason for you to use words to hurt others.

We are always good at hurting those who love us, because we cannot hurt those who do not love us.

We are always willing to be hurt by those we love, because we love them.

What a person says when he is angry will be like a nail in the other person's heart. No matter how many times he says sorry later, the wound will always be there.

Many people don’t realize that the closer someone is to you, the more they long for your gentle treatment. Because they care, they care about every word you say.

In his love letter to Li Yinhe, Wang Xiaobo once wrote: I just hope that you and I will be good, without suspicion or praise of each other, and be as peaceful as usual. You and I talk as if you are talking to yourself. , I talk to you as if I were talking to myself.

02 If roaring can solve problems, donkeys will rule the world

I have a friend who had a fight with her husband some time ago and ran back to her parents’ house in anger.

She confided in me: "You know what? I'm really fed up. I've been married to him for so long and he never knows how to talk properly.

As long as something goes wrong He yelled at me because of his opinions or objections to what he said.

One time my daughter accidentally fell off the bed. I was already blaming myself, but in the end he yelled: "Do you know how to take care of children?" He gave me a scolding lesson.

What makes me most angry is that he often speaks in front of me. My parents are also very angry with me.

I have raised the issue of him yelling a lot when talking, and I hope he can talk and communicate well, and he has agreed. But it’s still like this every time.

I’m tired. No one wants to be a doormat forever. ”

Yes, home is not a place for reasoning, but for love. place. What we fight is reason, what we lose is love, and what we hurt is each other.

Just because you win the argument doesn't mean you are right. If she likes you enough, she will love you deeply. After she has accumulated enough disappointment, she will leave decisively.

It’s never about taking a step back and the world will be brighter, it’s about taking a step back and I’d better leave you.

If two people are fighting over who is right, and the louder the argument, the louder the argument, the more often the loser is the relationship.

If roaring could solve problems, donkeys would rule the world.

The breakdown of a marriage begins with the inability to speak well. It is obvious that small things that can be communicated well are not discussed properly, and one is only willing to be self-righteous, only care about venting one's emotions, and always only think about problems from one's own perspective.

It takes two people to quarrel, but it only takes one person to stop the quarrel.

If one party expresses concern in a polite and gentle tone, the other party must respond in a polite and gentle manner;

If one party gives instructions simply, rudely and without logic and reason, the other party will respond in a polite and gentle manner. One party must respond heavily or even explosively, and refuse to obey any arrangement.

In today's society, most women not only have to support half the sky at work, but also take care of children when they return home.

If the husband still wants to put on a bad face and open his mouth to be picky or even disgusting, it will easily stimulate the woman to vent out the fatigue and grievances of the whole day. If the husband and wife quarrel too much, the relationship will be hurt.

03 There is a kind of love called talking well

A man who loves you will be reluctant to speak loudly to you, let alone get angry at you.

A man who loves you will not talk about you in public, let alone yell at you. He will protect your self-esteem.

Because he knows that if he doesn't value you, others will also despise you.

For two people who truly love each other, their life is full of love, because the way they talk is the way they love you!

Trivial matters can no longer be trivial. Both of them can talk about it with gusto, discuss things thoughtfully, and hide warmth under the plain surface.

In fact, many times, I am also the kind of person who is not very good at talking.

Over the years, I have been constantly healing myself and others who have a bad temper.

And the four words I want to say most are "speak well".

Cai Kangyong is recognized as a person who can "speak well". The way he speaks is no longer a skill, but a technique. He said: "The way I speak is to take you into my heart."

And if you don't speak well and are verbally violent in marriage, it is obvious that you don't take the other person into your heart.

Sometimes a sudden and desperate word can wipe away all the expectations of the other half for life, leaving him no hope in the marriage.

How many loves and marriages die not from emotional degradation, but from the inability to speak properly, and they die silently and without any trace.

04 It would be great if you understood me

The most fearful thing in marriage is: I just want you to listen to me, but who knows that you have done my job? Critic. From now on, how can I tell you my joys and sorrows?

No one likes to be lectured to, and no one likes to be controlled.

Because when we want to change the other person, no matter how good the starting point is and how correct the rationale is, it actually conveys an aura: I don’t like the way you are now, and you should become someone else.

When will men understand:

The woman around her, many times, what she hopes in her heart is that you can talk to her more and talk well.

Your patience and love, sometimes, can be reflected and made felt by you just by talking to her well.

Being able to chat freely is a woman’s basic desire. If even this cannot be satisfied, no matter how good the relationship is, it will be destroyed in an instant.

Who can’t make hot dishes and hot soup, and who can’t afford clothes and shoes? You know, it’s enough for a woman to just want you to “talk well”.

It would be great if you understood me!